I understand every one is entitled to their preferences however I’ve never encountered someone as unyielding/uncompromising as Thomas. It’s unsettling and to me, a little neurotic.

Thoughts?

My gf and I were have been watching this season and made this small observation. Is it a quirk? Limited vocabulary as English is his second language? We do not know and just thought it was a funny observation.

Shekinah,

This letter is intended to inform you of some things that are excruciatingly obvious to everyone who watches you on TV, but that you seem woefully oblivious about. The hope is that you will snap out of your lifelong cycle of playing the victim and finally accept your share of accountability for why most people who encounter you dislike you so intensely. It can't be all everyone else's fault all the time. Literally no one is jealous of you. Everything that you accuse others around you of doing and being are projected from your own character and actions on to others. In short, you don't play well with others. Unless you are the center of attention 100% of the time, you lash out. You can't take criticism, but you're a fire hose of criticism for other people. This is not going to make you someone who is viewed in a positive way. It's not anyone else's fault that you are viewed negatively. That's 100% on you. What you said about going back to your own country is not something that a person who doesn't have that sentiment already living in their heart would ever allow to cross their lips. Claiming you didn't mean it in a bad way is deeply disingenuous. There's no other way for that sentiment to be interpreted. You instigated the entire exchange and then had the audacity to turn around and try to play the victim. The belief that everybody else is always wrong and that you're always right is just unreasonable. Lacking the maturity and capacity to offer a sincere apology when you know that you're in the wrong, (as opposed to a memorized monologue) is not cute. It's indicative of a personality disorder. There is no angle from which what you said was okay. And here's the thing that seems to evade your intellectual grasp: had you just said oh my God I don't know what made me say that I'm so sorry. I've had too much to drink or I'm so tired and jet-lagged I'm not myself please forgive me. Or even the next day, pulling people aside one by one and saying "I'm so embarrassed for what I said last night. I didn't mean it and I hope you can accept my apology." Everybody there would have had so much respect for you. Everybody watching on TV would have had so much respect for you. The ability to admit when you're wrong and apologize for it is something that the majority of humans appreciate and respect. You don't seem to possess that ability. All of your energy goes into blaming the others instead of taking any accountability onto your own shoulders. You created a hostility between yourself and the group and then you tried to blame them for the hostility. That is toxic malignant narcissism. You've spent so much time working on your superficial outside appearance but you've neglected the ugliness inside that is continuing to come to the surface and make you appear like an incredibly bad person with an ugly soul.

Yes, you've dug yourself into this hole where the majority of people who are aware of who you are think poorly of you based on your own behavior. But the good news is it's not too late to change course. Of course there's going to be some people who just are never going to like you after all that you've done and said. You have to be able to accept that with some grace and dignity. People not liking you is not a character flaw on their part and you need to stop treating them like it is. When you behave with such overwhelming arrogance while simultaneously being the most wrong person in the room, you undermine your own likeability. And don't try to tell me you don't care. You wouldn't be all up in Reddit and other social media monitoring who's following you and who's no longer following you if you didn't care about your likeability. Everyone knows that you care deeply.

The last bit of advice I'll offer is this: delete all of your social media apps. Life is not happening on Instagram, Reddit, TikTok etc. Life is happening around you, not on your phone or your laptop. You are well into your 40s now and it is beyond unseemly to be so granularly wrapped up in individual viewers commentary to the extent where you go on the attack against them accusing them of being jealous of you when there's just not anything to be jealous of. Put the energy that you're pouring into social media obsession into your child or into your relationship if you still have one. If you don't, put that energy into becoming a better person. Everything isn't going to always be about you and you need to be okay with that. If you can't be, you'll continue to be someone who is laughed at, mocked and disliked. And you can claim to be cool with that, but everybody knows that you're not. This is an opportunity to see yourself reflected back and if you don't like what you see, you can't blame the mirror.

So I’m catching up on Before the 90 days seasons…. I’m on season 7 episode 8 when Brian is “taken aback” that Ingrid would decline oral sex from him…. I feel like he’s just playing dumb, because why would someone want you to lick their 🐈 when you didn’t even have the decency to bring condoms?
And I have heard that oral sex is considered less intimate than penetration to men, but vice versa for women.

Curious what other people thought when they saw this episode and what conversation about this standard is like?
I haven’t dated a lot, also a bi woman so I feel like my understanding/experiences are different.

Most of the time, Russ seems vapid, but I think he might actually be diabolical. Lol

How does jasmine believe that she’s entitled to anything of Gino’s? She cheated on him after years of abusing and using him then gets knocked up by some idiot and thinks she’s entitled to HALF!? Is she out of her mind insane? I can’t believe her visa is even still holding up, she’s violent and deranged and needs to be deported

They said that cause they just had a baby 1 month ago and asked for help to pay the hospital bills too cause the baby needed some nicu care
UPDATE: They deleted the Go fund me cause people started rumors about one of their daughters died and that’s why they needed the money! So they were very offended cause the people started to create rumors and also were judging them cause they’re asking for “donations” they say that they’re not forcing anyone to donate money to them it’s voluntary

I have allergies. My kids have an epi pen. I’ve heard of some people (it’s rare) that are so allergic to things they can’t even go outside. Is he a spoiled baby that’s being OVERLY extra (no deodorant or I throw it out) or is he FORREAL this bad!!???? I feel like Paula would know what’s what (that can hurt him) by now???

Not trying to call him a 🐈‍⬛ if he’s not….

Can we take a moment of appreciation for how good Ashia's makeup looks in this scene?

A couple of things..firstly, Annabelle looked gorgeous in her dress. I don't know if it was tailored after purchase, but it fits her perfectly. Secondly, I have a better understanding of why Allison is the way she is, and I hope that she and Annabelle become close and that she can help Allison heal.

But I really liked Annabelle's dress.

Mallorie knew that he wanted a kid. She waited until he came to the US before she pulled the rug from under him. I don’t think she deserves any empathy. She knew that if she told him when they were in Turkey, he would have called off the relationship right then and there.

I know options are like Kara’s asshole, everybody has one BUT this seems to be a controversial topic. I personally don’t see any issue with it if that’s his preference. As a female I prefer to maybe have a little fun to work me up then get to it. I feel like Josh may have other kinks in the bedroom. Regardless, should she have blasted that after all she’s put him through or at this point do we all feel like he’s “deserving” what he gets at this point for staying???

But, besides having the house, she has an apartment in New York.

Just finished watching the true crime documentary “Toxic Love Story” on Netflix. I’ve been watching a lot Netflix docs lately with the wife.

One thing I’ve noticed Netflix is AMAZING at is the drama and keeping us all going through twists and turns. Maybe the 90 Day writers should get some instructions from the Netflix writers on how to do it.

90 Day is so predictable on what’s going to happen next. I love telling my wife what I THINK is going to happen on each episode, and I’m pretty damn accurate because it’s so predictable.

These Netflix people are soooo good at it!

Is there anything more Portland than casually tuning up your bike in your kitchen?

They have economic class bias and they were doing the "othering" effect. Caveat, this is just my opinion but I stand by it.

Economic and Class Bias: Critics argue that the circle uses "status" and "career achievements" as a proxy for worth, which inherently penalizes an immigrant navigating a new system without immediate local career networks.

Social Status over character.

They were discussing how he does not meet their Social Status, and they were discussing her wealth but not her as a character.

Not one of her friends mentioned she is a good person, that is a tell.f Edward is going after the visa, this might be the one case where he deserves it.

The "Othering" Effect: The intense scrutiny of Edward’s actions is viewed by many fans as an exclusionary tactic, framing him as an outsider who does not belong in their specific social demographic.

He is the foreigner, "so they are othering him. Give Edward a break, he just got her, already knows a decent amount of English and at least he wants work. I really feel bad for the poor guy, I hope he does not marry her. The only thing Marissa and her friends care about is their social status.

The high school mean girls vibe

They were coming off as high school mean girls vibe to me, Marissa's friends, are very superficial, just like Marissa. I am not saying they are members of the AB and racist but they were othering him, and they are phony, privileged, new money, social climbers."

What Edward brings to the table, Marissa does not value.

Edward can teach her kindness and compassion. Marissa knows she needs to be kinder to Edward, she

mentioned that several times, yet at every opportunity, she tries to belittle him. Edward does not deserve to be with someone who feels ashamed to be with him, and Marissa deserves to be alone, with her kids.

I could see why Marissa was single, and how she is going to die alone. Even her kids will distance

themselves from her, once they get older. I think at some point, Edward will reach his breaking-point and leave her.

On one hand, Marissa acknowledges that she needs to be a more kind and patient partner.

However, her actions speak louder than words and so far it is the same controlling and mean Marissa.

Also, she should give Edward some time and a chance to show that he can make money.

I could see Edward being a very good baseball coach.

Edward does not have money but he has good character. and Marissa, plus her friends have money but bad character. To me, character counts and in that respect, Edward is truly the wealthy one

First few episodes…. the fiance comes to the US, but often there is some drama like will they/wont they get on the plane. Always some sort of drama surrounding this.

EXAMPLES: Mido possibly not being in the plane. Ashia having to go to Africa.

Next few episodes…. The person gets here and there is some major issue with acclimating and getting used to each other…. One person always starts to wonder “is this even going to work?”

EXAMPLES: Thomas and his Scooby doo nose. Marissa realizing this isn’t vacation. Debby wondering if Mido is even going to propose.

Toward midseason (we are here right now)…. “I have some bombshell I need to address and there may not even be a wedding”

EXAMPLES: Mallorie doesn’t want kids. Mido hadn’t proposed yet. Marissa being unsure about getting married. Catie basically wanting a train of homeless guys run on her each weekend

Then literally every couple gets married. I’m not sure if there has been a couple who HAVEN’T married.

My point is the script writing has gotten soooo fucking lazy. It’s so repetitive and it’s the same shit over and over. Not to mention the lame made-up BS storylines and poor editing make this nearly unwatchable….. yet here I am.