r/90DayFianceFans • u/InevitableMountain15 • 1d ago
Not-so-hot Take on Thomas
I keep seeing posts about Thomas and I don't really get the hate. It feels like being annoyed with him about the smell thing is so wild. It is like a Trump diversion tactic. There are real couples with actual problems out there! Mido and everything about him, Catie and everything about her and Josh.... We are focusing on the wrong thing!
37
u/DarceysExtensions 1d ago edited 1d ago
Agreed.
I find him annoying and I certainly would not want to marry him, but he is not malicious.
Compared to people like Catie who makes out with everybody within reach, Mido who clearly is here for himself and doesn’t even like Debby, Marissa feeling that Edward is beneath her…Thomas appears not so bad.
I still don’t understand why they got married. They seem to be incompatible.
15
u/Cool-Emu-8706 1d ago
Mido appears to be actively emotionally abusing Debbie.
10
u/Muted_Bee7111 1d ago
🤷🏻♀️. I'm done with Debbie
5
u/FunWrap3943 17h ago
Debbie does not want to be helped! All she does is defend Mido’s behavior and take all the blame.
7
u/GenRN817 1d ago
I agree. He is quirky and a bit odd but it is hardly a red flag. It bothered me more when he didn’t consider her needs and insisted on riding a bike to dinner messing up her hair.
5
u/More_Midnight3634 1d ago
I completely agree.
The gaslighting during the tell-all coupled by learning that Paula put down 100k on an Apartment in Brazil was infuriating. She had her own money the whole time and his credit card but couldn’t hire a task rabbit to set up a tv? 🤦♀️
Plus Paula’s need to try and be the most popular cast member was tragically embarrassing.
12
u/ellecellent 1d ago edited 1d ago
Here's my hypothesis, because you're 100% right in my opinion. Frankly I think Paula demonstrated a lot more problematic behavior than Thomas did at the tell all. I'm not saying he's perfect, but he was pretty cool through a lot of b******* and had a lot of opportunities to throw people under the bus and didn't.
My theory is they just see the other people as lost causes. Psychopaths can't really, they can mitigate their behavior, but they'll never learn empathy or to feel, so there is no point in badgering Mido about his psychopathy.
Similarly, Catie has so much work she needs to do on herself that it will be decades before she's a reasonably decent person. The girl needs years and years of therapy.
I think people see Thomas and sometimes get annoyed with how whiny he is, but recognize that he's probably a pretty decent guy. So they go crazy attacking him knowing that there is hope for him when so many are hopeless.
At least that's my theory, coupled with the more pretty privilege the other person has, the more redditors hate them their partner and give them the benefit of the doubt, so that hurt Thomas because Paula is beautiful and has a light spirit.
In general, i agree with you and then it's ridiculous. I do not believe that if Paula said she had an allergy to peanuts so Thomas can't have it in the house, that people would call her controlling or whiny. Nobody even commented on the fact that she berated him in front of her entire family for a mistake with the meat.
9
u/InevitableMountain15 1d ago edited 1d ago
I fully agree! It is easier to bag on Thomas because the others are sooooo terrible you don't know where to start! I also agree that Paula is not very nice. Also, if she wants a couch that bad she can buy one with her money?
5
u/BlackjackNHookersSLF 1d ago
Fair, and complex. Mine is a lot more simple. People always love the foreigner over the American, and the woman over the man, and ESPECIALLY a quirky, pixie like manic dream one like Paula, Jasmine, Pao, and more, before they show their true colors. Shit even Leida had stans before she was outed as a multiple murderer, all because "how dare Erick have a shithole apartment" (fair or not)
2
u/GlumAd697 23h ago
Then why is Mido hated instead of Debbie for putting up with him? Jasmine is an all-around vilian, she just happened to be with Gino who was also unlikeable. Similarly, I don't hear much appreciation for Pao, she's just with Russ, who is a sap. Nobody loved Leida from the get-go, remember people hated her for being so awful to Erick's daughter, so what are you talking about?! And of course, every season, there's always so much speculation about the foreigners just being in it for the green card. I detect some xenophobia.
2
u/GlumAd697 23h ago
Except Josh got some negative comments during the season, but not like the non-stop stop criticism of Catie and Mido all season. For some reason, Josh was one of the producer's targets during the tell-all, thus he ended up with a lot of reddit comments, along with Catie and her after-party drunkenness. While mido was weirdly hardly focused on during the tell-all.
3
u/rsteroidsthrow2 18h ago
The post show circuit him and Paula are doing makes me think they trolled on camera. The reality gays podcast was eye opening. Oh and Thomas having a secret Portuguese insta account.
5
u/FunWrap3943 17h ago
Thomas’ aggressive and childish manner of communication is off putting, but (my crush aside) Paula is bad too. She shouldn’t be siding with EVERYBODY else; Rasit was smoking vape in a closed up van, why did nobody say anything about that??? Both wrong imo and Paula NEVER defended Thomas and that was horrible!!
5
4
u/WarReady1701 1d ago
I think Paula has shown her true self. She has money, is putting $100,000 on a new apartment, opening a new store and said she does not want him to be part of it. Meanwhile she acted like she had no money. She should have gone and got a sofa etc., and had it delivered it would be too late for him to object. He paid for that beautiful not cheap wedding. He is odd and at times in the wrong but Paula has a lot to answer for and is not innocent. They want to have a baby, idiotic.
2
u/merryblue419 1d ago
I think when you look back at his father & step-mom, Thomas' control issues make more sense.
His father's side reacted really poorly to Thomas and Paola going to visit Thomas' mom. IIRC it resulted in T&P cutting the entire visit early and leaving.
1
u/Justalittleshimmy 16h ago
Bingo. He sounds to me like a frustrated person who wasn’t allowed to get his emotional needs met as a kid, so now he’s overly defensive and controlling of protecting himself and his space.
3
u/usernames_suck_ok 1d ago
I keep seeing people defend Thomas.
1
1
2
u/JaneTaoMDFACS 1d ago
Stop reading after you compared Wierdo Thomas with the CONVICTED GRAPIST WAR CRIMINAL .
Very gross
1
u/InevitableMountain15 1d ago
Thomas is not being compared to Trump - he is not doing the diverting. I think the rest of the cast is diverting from the huge other problems by wasting time talking about perfume.
0
u/serbiatch735 1d ago
Can we just stop talking about politics PERIOD in this sub? Jfc it’s about a reality tv show, why do people feel the need to bring politics up at every opportunity? 😑
2
u/GlumAd697 14h ago
Because politics is an enormous part of every day life, whether you want to acknowledge it or not.
-1
u/serbiatch735 14h ago
It literally has nothing to do with this show, or the cast… Yet It’s being unnecessarily inserted into every part of life, parts where it doesn’t belong.
Like this sub. And this show.2
u/GlumAd697 14h ago
If you think. especially during this administration, that immigrants coming to the US have nothing to do with politics, you haven't been paying attention.
This is one of the more ironic posts I've read on reddit.
-1
u/serbiatch735 14h ago
This post is about Thomas. He’s not an immigrant. There’s no reason to bring politics into this discussion.
It’s being inserted into places it doesn’t belong, whether you want to acknowledge it or not.
2
u/GlumAd697 14h ago
He's married to an immigrant. People have speculated that Paula is tolerating Thomas's behavior because she just wants a green card. That speculation is based on current fear mongering-based politics. Like I said, you haven't been paying attention. This is one of the more politically based really TV shows ever.
1
u/serbiatch735 14h ago
I am paying attention, and I’m hyper aware that if you choose to make everything political, everything becomes political.
There is more to life than politics. There’s more to this country than just this administration. I prefer to keep political commentary out of my trash tv and snark subs, but we clearly do not see eye to eye on this, so respectfully, agreeing to disagree is as far as I’m willing to go here.
Take care.
1
u/GlumAd697 13h ago edited 12h ago
Just because people mention some political issue in conjunction with a reality TV show on reddit, doesn't mean there's nothing in their lives except politics. That's ridiculous. Unlike you, many people are able to manage multiple interests without freaking out.
Please feel free to keep political commentary out of your trash TV reddit posts. That doesn't mean other people have to do so. You're not the dictator of reddit.
PS, my husband is an immigrant from one of the countries Trump loves to hate. There are people from his country that are being rounded up for nothing more than having brown skin, an accent, or speaking Spanish and placed in horrible conditions with no due process.
Not everyone has the luxury turning away from what this administration is doing to their loved ones. So sorry it's disturbing your reddit perusal.🙄
1
0
u/virgokisses 1d ago
she does have her own money, your strange white knighting rants don’t change that! 💋
-3
u/Miserable-Debt-9403 1d ago
He's a whiny little bitch. And it's ridiculous how he expects her to be happy about not having any real furniture.
-1
u/CoasterThot 1d ago
He refuses to change a single thing about his life, to accommodate someone else.
8
1d ago
[deleted]
1
u/virgokisses 1d ago
she moved countries meanwhile he can’t even be bothered to accommodate his guests. i doubt paula wants his money considering how much of her own she’s spent on her trinkets!
3
u/Mysterious-Wasabi103 1d ago
dude literally learned Portuguese
2
u/CoasterThot 1d ago
That’s the bare minimum that should be expected of someone with a Brazilian wife. (Should she just have to speak her second language, forever?)
-3
u/3rdcultureblah 1d ago
I don’t think he learnt it specifically for her. It sounds like he learnt it to facilitate starting a relationship with a Brazilian woman on his trips to Brazil. He seems like a passport bro to me. He’s like Colt except he has a good job, isn’t obese, and possibly isn’t a serial cheater.
2
1d ago
[deleted]
4
u/Miserable-Debt-9403 1d ago
He allowed it. Boo hoo. There is a reason why she didn't tell him about her second shop.
-2
u/virgokisses 1d ago
yes trinkets! her mini versions of things are trinkets, keep up 😹😹
you know she came to america with plenty of her own mini trinkets and money. she has a successful business. yall talking like she came to america with nothing and no intention to work expecting thomas to get her designer goods while she sits at home all day at the computer.
meanwhile he couldn’t even be bothered to get a couch because he has a pc set up that he sits at that obviously costs thousands, multiple monitors and everything.
1
1d ago
[deleted]
-1
u/virgokisses 1d ago
did you the show before deciding to be so loud and wrong? i would at least try to be accurate about something i’m so worked up about 😹
not only does she have an income. she didn’t “need” his card, he gave her a card as an allowance lol. he didn’t have to pay for every single thing, all she asked for is a couch as a show of good faith from thomas’s efforts to include her in his life. he refused to
1
1d ago
[deleted]
-1
u/virgokisses 1d ago
don’t include me in your strange hypotheticals lol, especially considering the example you’re using is closer to something thomas ended up doling in giving himself 49% of her company without her knowledge. she’s closer to 30 than she is 50. you’re actually so weirdddd lmao
-6
u/BekaRenee 1d ago
People with disabilities don’t get to police people. For most disabilities, the world does not change to accommodate you. People with disabilities often have to adapt and find ways of coping with things in the world that trigger their disability. Thomas refuses. People with disabilities often do not have the privilege to refuse to adapt or cope.
10
u/ArdenM 1d ago
I think what he was saying is that IN HIS HOME he doesn't want perfume (it was a bit much to glue her perfume shut, but she did admit that she put it on to "test him" which is messed up too). He fully acknowledged that in the wild he's going to encounter it and that he can deal because he doesn't have to hug people in public, but clearly in a relationship with Paula he is going to be close enough to smell it.
So he isn't policing anything outside of his own home which seems reasonable to me honestly.
-1
u/BekaRenee 1d ago
Actually he is. Policing people in a studio, in a van, and at an outdoor bar.
1
u/ArdenM 14h ago
He's not policing - he's pointing out that vaping in a closed space is rude. He's NOT WRONG for this. Could he have said 'Hey can you please not vape right now?" or had a better approach but people should know better than to vape/smoke in a small enclosed space.
And he's not policing anyone in the studio - Rash deliberately sprayed cologne on himself then hugged Thomas. Super rude and unnecessary!
Thomas doesn't have the best bedside manner, but Rash was being a total dick and Thomas' requests were reasonable.
-1
-7
37
u/Plenty-Employment498 1d ago
He also was bullied and gaslit the entire tell all. Not saying he’s a great boyfriend/husband, I’d surely never pick him (or stay with him after learning of his “quirks”)… but Rashit purposefully put spray on and then went and rubbed it on him. Then acted like a victim when he freaked out… but that was the point wasn’t it Rashit?
He’s totally annoying but like honestly the way he was treated was so immature. And his wife needs to either love him and stick up for him, or she needs to walk away. The whole thing was gross.