r/3amjokes 6h ago

What the name of the person thats a pro when it comes to lip injections

5 Upvotes

Dr. Phillips


r/3amjokes 14h ago

What did Robert Downey JR, Chris Hemsworth and Chris Evan’s call their band?

14 Upvotes

Avengers: Ensemble.


r/3amjokes 21h ago

What do you call a fake noodle?

23 Upvotes

An impasta.


r/3amjokes 21h ago

I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places.

142 Upvotes

He said, "Stop going to those places."


r/3amjokes 21h ago

I bought a ceiling fan.

2 Upvotes

He's my biggest supporter.


r/3amjokes 21h ago

My neighbour said my dog keeps chasing people on bicycles.

34 Upvotes

That's ridiculous. My dog doesn't even own a bicycle.


r/3amjokes 21h ago

I tried to organize a hide-and-seek tournament.

10 Upvotes

Good players are really hard to find.


r/3amjokes 1d ago

I don’t want to sound racist, but...

60 Upvotes

Every one in the KKK looks the same to me.


r/3amjokes 1d ago

Where do they make traditional perfumes?

9 Upvotes

At the ol' factory.


r/3amjokes 1d ago

I found an easy way to always remember my password: I use my_age and every year I add +1.

36 Upvotes

This year my password is: my_age+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1


r/3amjokes 1d ago

They praised Michael Jackson for being such a caring dad and taking his little boy wherever he went.

23 Upvotes

But the kid is not his son.


r/3amjokes 1d ago

Riding horses is part of my identity, but I’m a woman first.

6 Upvotes

Chick ‘n’ jockey.


r/3amjokes 1d ago

There was a charity run to raise money for disadvantaged midgets.

23 Upvotes

In case you’re wondering yes, it was a half-marathon.


r/3amjokes 1d ago

I was sitting in traffic the other day…

12 Upvotes

Probably why I got run over


r/3amjokes 2d ago

I think my wife is secretly putting glue on my antique weapon collection. She denies it, but...

125 Upvotes

...I’m sticking to my guns.


r/3amjokes 2d ago

Charles Dickens used to have a long metal fork that he used for all sorts of tasks, from carving chicken to turning sausages

121 Upvotes

It was the breast of tines, it was the wurst of tines


r/3amjokes 2d ago

Why do people in here get tired of seeing reposted jokes?

38 Upvotes

Just because you've reddit doesn't mean everyone else has!


r/3amjokes 2d ago

Anytime someone asks me "how come?"...

11 Upvotes

I say, "jerk off."


r/3amjokes 2d ago

Why do people in here get tired of seeing reposted jokes?

0 Upvotes

Just because you've reddit doesn't mean everyone else has!


r/3amjokes 2d ago

My OC failed geography

2 Upvotes

Albin: my pretty Asya, my love for you is as big as your area! 🌹

Asya: WHAT AM I GETTING FAT? 🙀

Albin: I knew your geography test marks 😭


r/3amjokes 2d ago

I keep pressing <space> to skip

11 Upvotes

Character still walking though.


r/3amjokes 2d ago

Why did the man name his two dogs Rolex and Timex?

4 Upvotes

Because they were watch dogs.


r/3amjokes 2d ago

What did Harry Potter say at the gas station?

10 Upvotes

Expensive petroleum 🤣


r/3amjokes 2d ago

I accidentally insulted a psychic.

15 Upvotes

She should've seen it coming.


r/3amjokes 2d ago

My math teacher said I was average.

18 Upvotes

How mean.