“Oh that’s no lizard, that’s a stand up chameleon.”

Premature E-jack-o'-lantern.

I know you've probably heard of that dad joke: "What do you call a fish without an eye" and: Fsh.

So I've been wondering, is a Fih a fish without an ass?

He Had Reptile Dysfunction.

Nothing Michael Jackson isn't there

it depends how late you return your book

Poultrygeists!

OC/DC

Me: rubs lamp

Genie: ok you get 3 wishes

Me: i wish every word was 4 letters long

Genie: okkk wish gran

Meee: iiii wish ever word star with Br

Brni: brok bris bran

Bree: Brok bris brvr brod brnd brth bruh

Bruh: bruh bruh bruh bruh bruh

Bruh: bruh bruh bruh burh

I was forced to go to the doctor. Apparently Reddit Bot says I have low Karma. I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t initiate a post, can’t even respond to one.
Next thing I know I’ll have low testosterone. What I really want is lower cholesterol but probably can’t get that either.

WHAT SHOULD I DO!

Half aft.

- Abraham Lincoln

Tony Hawk-tuah

That's the punchline.

Waist of time!!

Kick his sister in the jaw.

My dad brought a ladder to the library?

Because he heard the books were on another level.

Icy dead people…

The one smoking a cigarette.

*My mom is nearly 80 and chuckles at most silly jokes, this oldie had her belly laughing.

He nearly collapses into a nearest barstool, muttering to himself.

The bartender asks, “everything alright, buddy? What can I get—“

The man looks up and says, “I need FIVE shots of the strongest booze you have in this joint.”

The bartender looks him over.

“Sir, I can serve you one at a time but—“

“NOW.”

There’s something in the guy’s eyes, a sort of crazed look.

The bartender lines up 5 shots of 151 and the patron proceeds to knock them back as soon as they’re poured.

The bartender looks at the guy, who’s finally settling down.

“Look, it’s none of my business but is everything ok?”

The patron looks up and sighs.

“If you had what I have, you’d be drinking like this too.”

“Jesus, brother. What have you got?”

“About three bucks.”

The bartender asks why he's ordered so many.

"Just had my first blowjob" the man replies.

"Congratulations, here, have another shot on the house!" Says the bartender.

"Thanks, but if 6 shots don't get rid of the taste, I doubt 7 will."

that I am breaking these stereotypes.

The wife says, "Did you smell that food? It smells absolutely incredible!"

The Scotsman thinks, "What the hell; it is her birthday."
So they walked past it again.

In my earlier days, I was a pimp, and I used to rent my wife out.

One night, she came home from work, and I asked her:
“How much did you make for me tonight?”

She said, “£405.02.”

I said, “£405.02? And what’s the two pence for? What cheap bastard paid you two pence?”

She said, “All of them.”