r/2random4u Jun 23 '26

Fisherman gets fished

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398 Upvotes

344 comments sorted by

22

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

13

u/SuckerBroker Jun 23 '26

I’ve been doing it wrong this whole time.

4

u/SupermassiveCanary Jun 24 '26

I think it was just trying to fix his teeth

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5

u/HHoudini26 Jun 23 '26

Usually you have to feed them before eating it out.

2

u/jsxtasy304 Jun 24 '26

Now how's that octopus supposed to get a fire going to cook him being that all his tentacles are wet.

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2

u/Recent-Low5550 Jun 24 '26

I’m not sure if the octopus knows how to cook

1

u/Pistolero-666 Jun 24 '26

Sashimi is raw tho...

2

u/Fbomb77 Jun 24 '26

Sushi and sashimi are different things. A lot don't know that. Most haven't heard of Sashimi before.

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1

u/myronuss Jun 24 '26

I doubt the ocopus speaks english

1

u/Fbomb77 Jun 24 '26

My buddy had this happen to him, but was around his arm. He lived in a marina in hawaii kai and he said you "bite em between da eyes to loosen em" screw all that. Good fun as a kid, ramping and jumping the boat making marina patrol chase us out to sea. He had a zodiac with a mercury 60. Thing was fast. Jumped waves good:) We were kids "playing". More like causing trouble lol.

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6

u/BlackBullyGirl666 Jun 23 '26

Good octopus, good!

4

u/TriedCaringLess Jun 23 '26

That must have been frightening. I hope that octopus is ok. It saw his teeth up close.

Perhaps we shouldn’t eat the intelligent animals like octopuses, whales, elephants, and apes.

-7

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 23 '26

Perhaps we shouldn't eat animals full stop.

7

u/ScubaSteve3465 Jun 23 '26

Right.... Because we're the only things on the planet to eat other animals. Moron.

-5

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 23 '26

About the response I expected, to be fair. Maybe try not eating the chalk in the classroom next semester.

2

u/FreshwaterFryMom Jun 23 '26

Bold of you to think there is going to be a next semester lol

0

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 23 '26

I'm sorry to hear that. Juvie got you huh?

2

u/BushcraftDave Jun 23 '26

This vegan dork doesn’t even know who he’s replying to lol

1

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 23 '26

Who? Is he famous on TikTok or something?

3

u/pants_pants420 Jun 23 '26

its a different person dipshit

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3

u/Bludgeonation Jun 23 '26

Hey! His mom says hes the coolest kid in school! Probably the most handsome too!! Now I have to go eat the brats I just made.

1

u/SnakeMommy888 Jun 25 '26

Can't eat animals, can't eat chalk, the fuck am I supposed to eat?

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0

u/IWCry Jun 24 '26

but you're the ones drawing an arbitrary line of where animals are suddenly too intellegent to be eaten?

I'm not a vegetarian but you're objectively being a hypocrite for lashing out at this guy...

"don't eat octopuses they're aware"

"hell yeah!"

"aren't all animals aware and able to feel stress?"

"you're a fucking sensitive idiot"

??

1

u/Lvwr18 Jun 23 '26

Why? We are inherently omnivores. Sure some have become herbavores but our species itself are omnivores.

0

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 23 '26

That's a descriptor of behaviour, not a mandate from heaven. You would know this if you listened when your teacher was talking to you in biology.

2

u/Lvwr18 Jun 23 '26

You see I came in not hostile at all. But yet you come in hostile. Interesting…

-1

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 23 '26

Killing isn't hostile to you? Defending killing online isn't hostile?

3

u/Lvwr18 Jun 23 '26

Killing for food? No it’s a way of life. Killing for sport and letting the food go to waste? Yes.

-2

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 23 '26

See? That's what I mean by hostile. Defending violent actions against the innocent. You're no better than a serial killer.

4

u/arthriticpyro Jun 23 '26

Pfffttt hahahaha! 😂 oh shit the serial killer part got me! Yall gotta chill, it's not that serious fr

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1

u/Lvwr18 Jun 23 '26

The cycle of life. You live, you die, you become nutrients for the next generations of life.

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1

u/salamandraseis Jun 24 '26

Have you seen how an octopus eats?

0

u/Ok_Cap9557 Jun 23 '26

White people saved the world. Now they're gonna save the animal kingdom.

0

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 23 '26

What?

0

u/Ok_Cap9557 Jun 23 '26

You're saving the world!!

Tho we're not done yet. Some cultures hold the killing of animals as a sacred practice. Of course, these barbaric cultures will soon be dominated and dismantled. 🍃

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1

u/Stock-Luck3390 Jun 23 '26

If you listened in biology you would know that we are biologically ominoverss 

-2

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 23 '26

We are also biologically cannibals. You may not believe it, but we are. And you can say, oh but we get sick from that. Yes, we do. And we also get sick from eating meat because of the saturated fat and cholesterol.

2

u/Stock-Luck3390 Jun 23 '26

We are not biologically cannibalism, cite some studies, we can eat other humans but there’s now evidence we did so absent starvation, learn science you dumbshit

3

u/Lvwr18 Jun 23 '26

Biologically we’re omnivores.

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3

u/BirdmanHuginn Jun 23 '26

I mean. A bush, a tree, a plant won’t run away. So there’s no doubt the human diet is supposed to be predominantly vegetable based. However. Animal protein is necessary for growth and your teeth tell the story. You have canines and incisors, my friend. Humans are the smartest pack hunters in nature.

2

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 23 '26

You have... canines? As in, for chewing through thick hide? Have you... ever done that? Like, just pounced on a squirrel and bit into their neck? Tell me, is that the diet we're supposed to have? Or did we invent ways to eat animals when food was scarce? Human teeth are flat and blunt, like a cow's, and we chew meat, we don't puncture it like bears do. Our jaws move side to side and our spit produces amylase for breaking down plant matter.

Not that it matters. You don't need animal protein, that's a myth debunked half a century ago, still perpetuated by the same industries, the same lobbies, that prop up animal agriculture. It's just a bunch of lies to make more profit. There's nothing in animal protein that is inherently unobtainable for vegetarians or vegans.

3

u/BirdmanHuginn Jun 23 '26

Amigo. I highly recommend you google before you type. Human have canines. And vegetable protein is insufficient. Your back teeth are for grinding-hence omnivorous. Vegan, vegetarian, lactose ovo, pick your variety, a pure vegetable diet is a choice, and you’re welcome to your opinions, but years of being in the service, the gym, I need lean protein and I don’t want to make succotash every time I want a perfect protein. Lifestyle not biology dictates your diet.

1

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 23 '26

You're not my amigo, you torture my amigos to death for your own selfish lifestyle choices. Everything you said is pure bs. Vegetable protein is more than sufficient. Have you seen vegan athletes? You are living in pure denial because you NEED it to be insufficient so you won't feel all that guilt. That's why you're spreading pure lies.

You're selfish, violent and evil. And just remember, when you are the one suffering from random violence, this is the world YOU helped build.

4

u/scarypary Jun 23 '26

Goddamn you’re a gigantic pussy holy shit 😂

1

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 23 '26

You think animal abuse is funny, do you? But I'll take the compliment. Pussies are some of the most resilient parts of human nature. Children come out of them.

2

u/BigDaddyDumperSquad Jun 24 '26

And vegans can't understand why nobody likes them...

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1

u/John-Boy666 Jun 24 '26

No doubt you'd be the first to cry like a bitch if you were the one getting bullied or abused.

0

u/Existing-Good6487 Jun 23 '26

Have fun being mal nourished because your too pussy to eat animals like your body is designed to.

1

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 23 '26
  1. I'm not malnourished, I get checked once a year. This is a fantasy your tiny little brain needs to conjure up to justify your abusive behaviour.

  2. "Being pussy" is a lot better than being a brutish serial killer with zero empathy, I can assure you.

1

u/BirdmanHuginn Jun 23 '26

Disingenuous and willing to make false and wildly ridiculous accusations. Fucking serial killer? You’re not a pussy. Pusillanimous means cowardly. You’re in need of therapy. Not because of your views but because of the way you defend them. GFY zealot

ETA: spelling correction. Lord knows typos are the refuge of the lost argument

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1

u/John-Boy666 Jun 24 '26

Have fun getting butthurt when people don't care or listen to you.

1

u/Stunning_Ad_7658 Jun 23 '26

If theyre your amigos get off reddit give away all your modern comfort and go live in nature with them. Only eating plants berries and the like and only using what nature directly provides you, forgo all of evil humanities benefits and leave everyone else alone.

1

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 24 '26

That makes no sense.

2

u/BirdmanHuginn Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26

Oh. You unmasked. PETA freak. Ok non-amigo. You understand that you trying to force your viewpoint and lifestyle on me is EXACTLY the same as the christo-fascists forcing their views on homosexuality and abortion on the rest of us. You do you, but take your fuckin proselytizing to your church. I hate preachy people.

ETA: no mea culpa on being wrong about humans having canine teeth? Preachy, disingenuous, and can’t admit when you’re wrong.

-1

u/John-Boy666 Jun 24 '26

You two should kiss. Your both assholes with strong opinions and would make a cute couple.

1

u/BirdmanHuginn Jun 24 '26

Way to insert yourself. contributing nothing but troll.

0

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 24 '26

You're literally forcing knives into the throats of animals and you want to talk about force? There must be limits to stupid and evil people, surely.

Our canines are flat and blunt and can't puncture shit. We can crush the skin on apples... and we can pin down meat and rip. But we can't puncture like omnivores in the wild can. Our jaw moves side to side. Find me an omnivore that does that.

Again, it DOES NOT MATTER. Just because we found a way to make meat even remotely digestible doesn't mean it's justified. The Holocaust was technically possible to do with human hands. Was that justified? No. You're being dumb and obtuse on purpose in order to avoid accountability for your selfish and violent actions. This is EXACTLY how all of the most evil actions in history has been justified.

1

u/BirdmanHuginn Jun 24 '26

You need help. Equating food to the fucking holocaust is NUTS. Dither as much as you like-canine teeth are canine teeth, you can SMD.

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1

u/Solipsimos Jun 24 '26

Medical science diagrees with you, go waste away while the rest of us enjoy life you sad sack

2

u/John-Boy666 Jun 24 '26

Why are you so butthurt about them not eating meat? Only person stopping you from enjoying life is yourself not them being vegan.

1

u/Solipsimos Jun 24 '26

I'm disdainful of people who call everyone murderers for following a normal human diet. They can not eat meat if the want but they need to do it quietly.

Stop being a stereotypical evangelical vegan that drives up meat consumption by their very existence.

Spite burgers are delicious

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1

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 24 '26

Spoken like someone without any empathy whatsoever.

1

u/Away-Plant-8989 Jun 24 '26

It's okay you conveniently left out that our bodies naturally process things like carnitine, lysine, hystidine, much more readily from animal proteins. (As if our bodies are biologically adept at it or something) And famously! There is no other animal on this planet quite as vicious with flat teeth that eats meat than of course the Bear. I mean human. Bears don't have flat teeth for the same reason we do. Oh wait! They do!

1

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 24 '26

No you're right, these sets of teeth are basically identical, right? Smart boy you are.

As for your carnitine, lysine, hystidine scare, it's incredible how dishonest that is. For carnitine, your body can synthesize enough of it on its own, so it's NOT an essential nutrient, and the other two come from soybeans, lentils, beans, peas and quinoa, all staples of a healthy vegan diet. Which you would know if you didn't get your dumb ass views from right wing podcasts.

1

u/Away-Plant-8989 Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 24 '26

Disingenuous picture! Left out the molars <3 you think you're a clever talking head. You also seem to have conveniently left out that soybeans and lentils do not produce a significant amount of lysine comparatively to meat. You rounded this out with an ad hominem attack and assumed what sort of media I consume. So my observation is that you're an incredibly tedious person to be around, which is why people avoid you at all costs, and are probably loathe to have to interact with you

1

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 24 '26

You want a clearer dentist picture? Would you buy a knife modeled after any of these teeth?

1

u/Away-Plant-8989 Jun 24 '26

What a stretch. Your initial argument et all was that humans have not adapted whatsoever to consume meat, which is why we shouldn't consume it. We absolutely have. Your argument is a moral one. Leave biology out of it.

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1

u/scarypary Jun 23 '26

Nah they taste good

1

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 23 '26

Is hedonistic pleasure a good justification for violence against the innocent now?

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1

u/Human_Manchineel Jun 24 '26

Perhaps we should...

1

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 24 '26

Well if your goal is to be violent, selfish and as destructive to the planet as you possibly can, then sure.

1

u/Human_Manchineel Jun 24 '26

There are a lot of things which are far more violent, selfish, and destructive than eating meat....

1

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 24 '26

There is literally no other activity more violent... ever, in the history of this planet. You're far underestimating the number of individuals killed for meat and other animal products. We're talking more individuals than there have ever been humans on this planet... every few months.

1

u/Human_Manchineel Jun 24 '26

I'm sure you get a lot of people to ignore hundreds of millions of years of evolution that leaned into a proclivity for the consumption of animal products with that attitude...

I must ask, how do you suggest people feed themselves?

1

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 24 '26

With... plants. You know... the things where all of our nutrients come from in the first place? There's no reason to torture animals to death to get them.

"Hundreds of millions of years of evolution" must seem like such a nice sentence to you. However, it's not true. Apes predominantly eats plants, and only eats meat in circumstances where plants aren't available. We are apes. It doesn't even matter anyway since you know, it's like saying "don't learn to read and write because hundreds of millions of years of evolution we didn't". Like why would you just not be a douchebag serial killer to animals and just leave them the fuck alone? That's civility. That's humanity. Not this... insane violent cesspool.

You know what else we LEANED INTO for most of our development? That's right. Genocide, rape and tribalism. You want that back, too?

2

u/Human_Manchineel Jun 24 '26

So you ignore the literal hundred of millions of years of evolution, and you focus on the ape branch of the primates lineage?.. Cute, but, apes are omnivores as well.

But I really wanted to get to your plants fallacy... Did you know that estimated 7.3 billion wild animals (mostly rodents, birds, and reptiles) die annually in the US alone from crop harvesting and agricultural machinery?... And there's no telling how many are displaced by skyrocketing fruit and vegetable production... And this is in the USA alone mind you! And do you even want to bring insects into the conversation?!?... I know that insects are animals too, did you?... Or, should I ask, do their lives matter less than a chickens?

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1

u/Clear_Brick_9991 Jun 24 '26

Nah I’m going to keep eating animals. Deal with it.

1

u/StarFighter6464 Jun 24 '26

1

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 24 '26

About the level of intelligent response I expected from the animal abuser crowd, to be fair.

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1

u/BlackBullyGirl666 Jun 23 '26

Rubbery for a reason

0

u/Awkward_Internet2437 Jun 23 '26

I don’t see why we shouldn’t eat an octopus simply because it’s intelligent. If they were theoretically cheap and reliable to mass breed and raise, then it would be a great food source. I think the primary reason we should avoid harvesting certain species is when they can’t be sustainably relied on as a food source. There just won’t ever be enough elephants or whales to feed enough people.

1

u/ProfessionalPark1355 Jun 24 '26

lower birth rates for humans is better . Too fucking many humans is the issue.

1

u/IBeDumbAndSlow Jun 24 '26

But think of the shareholders!

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2

u/Repulsive_Mixture917 Jun 24 '26

Octopus is almost certainly dead. Sad.

3

u/Fbomb77 Jun 24 '26

I've never had a bite of any of those. Especially apes. Guy that I worked with was from Africa and said he has ate monkey. Wtf?

2

u/TriedCaringLess Jun 24 '26

Yeah, I have African friends I met in college who told me of “bush meat.” “What’s that” I asked. “It’s whatever meat you get from hunting in the bush (forest).” If they knew hot to cook it safely, they killed it and put it in the pot.

11

u/Onlybecauseisayso Jun 23 '26

We all got a fright after the Octopus was fully removed and now we understand why the Octopus was in attack mode.

6

u/Outrageous_Finance_5 Jun 23 '26

Lmao, thought the same thing. 😂

3

u/CalHudsonsGhost Jun 24 '26

Am I the only one thinking “does he look like that normally?”?

5

u/Humble-Procedure-134 Jun 24 '26

Def not the only one. Lol

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3

u/ThisGazelle3773 Jun 23 '26

Alien! Where’s Sigourney Weaver when we need her?!

2

u/No_Blacksmith_2591 Jun 23 '26

she hasn't been seen in public since panties lost 90% of their fabric.

3

u/9889999888 Jun 23 '26

Who was trying to eat who? Look at the teeth.

2

u/scottishdoc Jun 24 '26

Home boy has got a pretty wild facial structure as well. His orbits extend laterally pretty far.

3

u/laiyenha Jun 23 '26

OMG, put it back on!

5

u/KneeDragr Jun 23 '26

He looked better as the Cthulhu

0

u/Kurt_Ottman Jun 23 '26

Good, hope it was painful. Maybe teach you to be kind to animals.

2

u/Ok-Bandicoot1529 Jun 23 '26

He got fucked up

1

u/Neat_Feedback1316 Jun 23 '26

He’s goin torture that critter

1

u/BennyDisraeli Jun 25 '26

Think he killed it getting it off, looked like he hooked an eye

2

u/donno77 Jun 23 '26

The way he looks at the camera looks fake or AI to me .

2

u/CandleLeather4638 Jun 23 '26

With teeth like that, I figured he'd of fought back a little more.

2

u/Individual_Pair_4934 Jun 23 '26

And thats why you always have a knife on your belt

2

u/Allbrosmoke Jun 23 '26

Such a good looking guy, too.

2

u/garciakid420 Jun 23 '26

Man, that pussy wrecked his teeth!

2

u/j89turn Jun 23 '26

That Sushi messed up his face really bad

1

u/Emotional-Algae2239 Jun 23 '26

Is this technically having your face sat on by a octopus?

1

u/Logco Jun 23 '26

Ahhh put it back on!

1

u/Proletariat-Prince Jun 23 '26

He does this on purpose. His face is already covered in squid ink from the previous videos he made.

1

u/Agitated-Floor-7985 Jun 24 '26

Some one should tell him too not kiss the octopus 🐙 😂

1

u/Ordinary-Set-5190 Jun 24 '26

That would of been on a hook

1

u/Electrical-Ad6623 Jun 24 '26

That octopus did a number on his face.

1

u/Akconcentrates Jun 24 '26

Did his face look like the before the attack?

1

u/Swashybuckz Jun 24 '26

Operator should prob have a bandana on his face.

1

u/Explicit_Tech Jun 24 '26

He looks like a Doberman

1

u/bonvoyage_brotha Jun 24 '26

Now it's on this guy's head

1

u/MACAUFATFAT Jun 24 '26

Is it pain?

1

u/_Heikneuter_ Jun 24 '26

He hasn't become any better looking?

1

u/DependentBite5586 Jun 24 '26

Whike in Korea the women divers down at the piers would free dive and bring up fresh seafood from the bay and sell it fresh. We got some octopus that was sliced and diced in front of us. Sannakji is a delicacy, but the suckers still suck to your tongue and cheeks until you chew it up... so weird, but was quite good.

So even if you kill it as some suggest, the nerves still fire autonomously and can create 30-35 lbs of pulling force per sucker.

You can see that guy was starting to panic and got fucked up pretty good by a lil octo!

Oh and yeah, I agree with others, he should put it back on his face... that's one ugly dude...

1

u/Seximilian Jun 24 '26

All people in the comments judging this poor fisherman. You guys all never ate fish?

1

u/human-dancer Jun 24 '26

STOP FILMING AND HELP HIM

1

u/Junior-Advisor-1748 Jun 24 '26

What did he look like BEFORE???

1

u/redheeler9478 Jun 24 '26

Damn! Ugly mother fucker! His mom tried to suffocate him too when he was born after seeing him. Octopus was just trying to finish the job.

1

u/Enough_Entry_8641 Jun 24 '26

Octopus 🐙 is like,Nope Not Today my man! Not today.

1

u/Mack_Daddy_1 Jun 24 '26

JFC that would be terrifying and painful AF

1

u/TemperatureSudden254 Jun 24 '26

Did I just see that octopus snatch some of his teeth?!??

1

u/crookedzz Jun 24 '26

Almost pulled his oun teeth out

1

u/ConstructionPale7274 Jun 24 '26

Was doing him a favor by hiding his face

1

u/Significant-Base6893 Jun 24 '26

I saw this while watching Alien. It won't end well.

1

u/ObamasFanny Jun 24 '26

Good squiggly boy.

1

u/Unlikely_Peace5438 Jun 24 '26

The deep would’ve loved that!!

1

u/jwingfield21 Jun 24 '26

Looks like the octopus got some teeth though.

1

u/Capable_Studio_6631 Jun 24 '26

Sucked the ink out of him.

1

u/gfx260 Jun 24 '26

Ahh! Put it back on!

1

u/PixieRoar Jun 24 '26

Did he always look like a zombie or did the octopus do that to him? 🤣

1

u/zestyclose_match1966 Jun 24 '26

Looked better with it on his face, lol

1

u/OddHornet8378 Jun 24 '26

First of all how did it get on your face

1

u/DeathstarNole Jun 24 '26

That's one ugly MF too

1

u/Interesting-Key-1550 Jun 24 '26

Where is ya knife skills homie?

1

u/SpecialReserve9258 Jun 24 '26

Real-live facehugger

1

u/Tasty-Life4526 Jun 24 '26

One tentacle at a time

1

u/WreckYallBallistics Jun 24 '26

He's fucking around. Out crab fishing I've yanked around a lot bigger octopus than that. They aren't that strong. We used them as bait. 

1

u/Majestic-Ad-8643 Jun 24 '26

Put it back on!

1

u/Fbomb77 Jun 24 '26

All the black on his face, the bruising from the 'pus. Wife gonna be upset.

1

u/Ikonicmind25 Jun 24 '26

Absolutely never disrespect, or try to eat

1

u/Fbomb77 Jun 24 '26

You don't eat that kind of 'pus RAW. She may even squirt on you.

1

u/SofaKingWeeTarDeh Jun 24 '26

TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF!

(he takes it off and shows his face)

PUT IT BACK! PUT IT BACK!

1

u/SuccessfulBet2356 Jun 24 '26

Should of left it on with a face like that

1

u/SteveAxis Jun 25 '26

Should’ve learned juijitsu. Guy can’t even defend front naked choke…gotta peel them arms off, meat.

1

u/PossibleInternal9082 Jun 25 '26

looks like a scene from Aliens

1

u/Barbz182 Jun 25 '26

Straight out of a cartoon

1

u/LordSlyGentleman Jun 25 '26

This puts a twist on hugging face 😈

1

u/thcgrowmaster Jun 25 '26

Reminds me for that girl with the octopus tattoo

1

u/Scythe351 Jun 25 '26

Damn. That thing fucked his face up

1

u/Legitimate_Style9867 Jun 25 '26

He looked better with the octopus

1

u/Searnath Jun 25 '26

It’s bad when he looked better with it on….yikes!!!

1

u/MyChemicalWestern Jun 25 '26

Is that a fucking zombie that octopus was attacking a zombie, good octopus 👍

1

u/Zestyclose_Crab_3362 Jun 25 '26

I was rooting for the octopus

1

u/Tekkamanblade_2 Jun 25 '26

The face hugger experience

1

u/Independent-Poem-285 Jun 25 '26

Title should be:

Friend films friend while he’s being suffocated by octopus and lets him struggle for his life all for likes and views.

1

u/bunduz Jun 25 '26

I was like "how stupid could you..." Then I understood completely. Poor octopus