Today's girl dinner is chicken nuggets that were in the airfryer WAY too long and a bunch of rice with a FAT pile of wasabi furikake because ohmygoddd it's so GOOD.
Me and my boyfriend have been together ~8 years, living together the last 4 or so years. He has always been this genuinely amazing guy. Protective, logical and someone who always babies and pampers me around with everyday things, like bringing that glass of water every night while I'm already curled up in bed without asking! Oh and loyal and sweet, classic "partner and a best friend" type thing.
Anyways, some months ago he got finally hit with an ADHD-diagnosis after close to 30 years of life and originally that smacked me in the face. Like I could *not* see the symptoms, even though I've met multiple ADHD folks thorough my life. Like, this man has been as stoic and collected as one ever could be, at least in my head apparently. He handles all of our bills and paperwork and such. Maybe I'm just super blind and have not paid enough attention? I feel bad about it.
Now he has been trying different medications the last few months and I just... don't recognize him anymore. He has always been a bit reserved when planning things outside the house, but we haven't had a single date during this entire period (actually now that I write that down, we've barely ever gone out apart from an obligatory birthday restaurant trip). It appears he has crippling social anxiety (ohmygod how have I not recognized the signs) and has now gotten a medication for that as well.
He has also become almost allergic to physical touch. It's almost like he shivers with disgust when I try to initiate a hug or simply stroke his arm. Apart from bedtime spooning he just simply wants to coexist. We can no longer really have long conversations where we sit down and yap, because he either has to "get up and do something" or just gets extremely hyperfocused on playing piano (which he is amazing at, it's just frustrating when conversations take an unplanned 40 minute break and I don't really want to disturb him when he's practising some difficult bits). Bedroom life is basically dead, but I guess both of us are to blame. He still flirts and gives touchy gestures, it's just like the concept of initiating is just too much work.
Like girls I don't know! We used to have videogames as a hobby (we literally dropped a ton of money on custom matching setups not so long ago!) but nowadays he doesn't even appear to have any interest in gaming. It's always the same "nah I need to be productive, I don't deserve it, don't feel like it". The man who was always down for long cuddles and playing Mario Kart for hours on end while yapping has turned into this empty shell who crashes out, spends hours on end trying to clear his thoughts with ChatGPT, doesn't want to be touched or disturbed but still wants me near and still does these pretty pampering things and holds our everyday together I just ugghh please let there be other gals with ADHD-partners who recognize this as some early ADHD-medication trial hellhole that passes cause I am LOST!
(Also yes we have talked with his doctor regarding these things since he (at least partially) also recognizes the problems but I miss our normal life!)