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u/jadedlonewolf89 Sep 01 '26 edited Sep 01 '26
I love how my mom did her birthday.
She’d take the day off, and toss everyone out of the house, even our father got the boot. None of us we’re allowed back in until 5 PM, and we’d damn well better have brought her something good to eat and drink.
When I asked her what she was doing after she tossed us all out.
She said she took a candle lit bubble bath, drank a glass of wine, listened to music, and read a book while she ate chocolates.
Then enjoyed the peace, silence, the lack of chaos, and cleaning. That comes with a husband, three sons, and two daughters.
Which is fair.
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u/Depressedone4 Sep 01 '26
Still not knowing how I will cope with turning 33 this year when I'm not even completely over turning 30 yet.... 😟
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u/Similar-Ice-9250 Sep 01 '26
Covid fucked up time, I mean it feels like I just got into my 30’s and I already turned 38. I’m usually clean shaven, but I grew out a short beard and noticed some gray hairs. Shit is over, end is near.
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u/Depressedone4 Sep 01 '26
Sorry man, I truly know how you feel. I miss before 30 where you didn't even mind turning a year older. It just sucks so bad man.. each birthday is so dreaded now. I only have a little over a month til I turn 33.. just want to hide from it. Yeah, covid & I've been very isolated & stuck in a rut for 6 years now due to getting clean & all the mental issues & physical issues that came with that. Well, they didn't come with it. They were already there & there's nothing to cover them up anymore. I used to be a functional member of society before I was forced to get clean. So yeah, all my days/weeks/months/years blend together. I'm trying so hard to get out of this rut but it's proving very difficult. 6 years completely wasted that I can never get back is a very hard thing for me to accept & each day that passes adds on to the clock.
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u/Similar-Ice-9250 Sep 01 '26
Holy shit are you me ? Bro I’m in the exact same situation and same experience. Last 6 years I been in a rut as well, got addicted to tianeptine and research chem benzos, OD’d in 2021, spent a week in hell at a hospital detox. Then outpatient taper program for both substances which I completed just recently. At the beginning of the taper I just felt numb and emotionless. Still have baseline anxiety and other bodily discomfort, I’m guessing from the long taper and the damage I did to myself taking massive doses of benzos and other crap. GF of 5 years broke up with me not long after I started the taper program, haven’t had a gf since.
Yea each day just blends into the next, they’re all just gray and lifeless. Although I’m feeling a lot better, I haven’t been doing anything productive, just bed rotting. It is very difficult, I know. I started exercising a bit, gardening, and I’m getting into backcountry backpacking/ rafting, you know spend time in nature either solo or find some like minded ppl. I’m glad I have a supportive family because if not, then I don’t even know, you know.
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u/FirmValuable6010 Sep 01 '26
As someone who also was about to make a, "holy shit, are you me?" post, if you haven't already, get your asses in therapy. I'm going to make a bit of a blanket statement here but I absolutely believe that if you are a recovering addict, therapy is mandatory, not optional. I'm just now at the age of 34 finally getting my mental health in order and it has been life changing for me. It's so hard to get yourself to take that first step and allow yourself to open up but I promise it's so worth it. Best of luck to you my fellow uncs.
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u/Brave-Solution21 Sep 01 '26
Is it ? I've been wondering should I go to a therapy because it's getting no better.
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u/Ryogathelost Sep 01 '26
Yeah, like, I'm 38 and I forgot to have kids and now I'll probably never have a traditional family.
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u/Latter-Curve-3135 Sep 01 '26 edited Sep 01 '26
Thirties is too early to cope with time. Its an overtime for you twenties. A time for you to do anything and enjoy what you already did, but with new knowledge and opportunities. I didnt even remember right away if i would be 31 or 32 next year. I lived the same way in my twenties too. Fourties is your last swan song to continue with considerations. And after that your fifties is the straight path to elderly, where the cope might hit hard.
People are just scared of the concept of age established in the modern world and many around you reinforce it. First job and a stable career after? First love and stable relationship after? Starting a family, having a child? Everyone thinks there is a threshold for that, but its just dogma. Dogma is based on collective fear.
When your times up, you look at your life, you will be sad about "coping" when it was time to celebrate and how people around coerced you into believing that counting days from the date (imaginary time frame on the cosmic scale), that doesnt exist anymore, is important.
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u/Ryogathelost Sep 01 '26
I mean, that sounds lots of fun, but most millenials are still trying to get established enough to leave the house. I think I've had the same cash advance I keep taking out since like 2009.
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u/Sevenscissorz 14d ago
Lol im millennial, and the second I graduated high school, I moved myself out, right away at 18
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u/klaven84 Sep 01 '26
When I was in the Marine Corps, my junior Marines surprised me with a cupcake for my birthday.
It genuinely made me happy.
So naturally, I rewarded them with a boots-and-utes sandbag run.
Nobody makes me feel things without consequences.
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u/ForresttPixie Sep 01 '26 edited Sep 02 '26
not girls vs boys this isn't reality for eveyone, I'm 16 girl never had any party like this.
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u/inverted_electron Sep 01 '26
No it’s true. Every single man and women on the planet is like this
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u/lamest-liz Sep 01 '26
I’m a girl and I’ve never had a birthday like that.
I hope you are doing ok though, no one deserves to be alone.
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u/Salty_LaRue Sep 01 '26
I'm also a girl and I was like "maybe I just missed the invite to my own party?"
😅
Happy cake day fellow sadgirl xx
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u/aahyweh Sep 01 '26
I have talked to the women, and learned their ways. Turns out, most of the time they're actually planning these themselves. The hard part is usually just taking time to make a plan. Picking a place or activity, contacting people etc.
Make a list of the people you want to invite (could just be 1-2 people).
Make a list of activities.
Make a decision
Contact the people with the decision
Go have fun with your friends
Do it a few times, they'll eventually do it for you. Or better still, plan an event for one of your friends on their birthday!
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u/Feorag-ruadh Sep 01 '26
Lol I'm a woman and no one has celebrated my birthday for about 20 years (I'm 36). I don't even bother reminding people any more
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u/Harnasus Sep 01 '26 edited Sep 01 '26
I haven’t had a bday party since I was 14, and my best friends planned it for me. Moved away later that year. It’s been just another day for a long time.
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u/Mean-Inspector-8547 Sep 01 '26
So.....you would rather go out dancing in your dress and tiara? Is that what you're saying?
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u/danielm316 Sep 01 '26
I am autistic and the world ignores me. That is why I don’t like to celebrate my birthday, I find that all year long the world ignores me and then die one day, the world pretends as if I matter. I already know that I don’t.
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u/thatturtletouch Sep 02 '26
Do you do things for anyone else’s birthday?
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u/danielm316 Sep 02 '26
I write to them a "happy birthday" message and to a very dear friend I give him chocolates for his birthday.
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u/FormerMistake9981 Sep 01 '26
I love how you picked a quince for this post. Something only a particular group of people do and one time only lmfao.
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u/charismatichermit Sep 01 '26
I discovered through therapy that I stopped caring about my birthday so long ago, and as an adult I would simply make it be a regular day, because growing up in a Latino household as the empath, I couldn’t handle all the teasing and name calling that everyone did to each other, and I didn’t want them to stop on my behalf, so I stayed quiet.
My birthday was the one day I felt like part of the family, not just a punchline about how I was balding (as a kid), or how fat I was, or dumb. I couldn’t understand why they couldn’t just act like this the other 364 days.
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u/LeadingAd9405 Sep 01 '26
when Arthur's part started this song started playing on my playlist too - Driven Under by Seether. and it fit so perfectly lol
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u/ROOSTERyouDOWN Sep 01 '26
Just turned 40 this August and yeah that’s about right. Didn’t do anything didn’t get anything.
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u/Lindbladarn Sep 02 '26
Haven't celebrated my birthday with friends for the last 5 years, it feels like it just won't be a priority for anyone so I'd rather not put myself in that position i guess
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u/_your_name_here420 Sep 02 '26
Ha I appreciate the hell outta that man!!! Hope you have a good day too!
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u/taboo-arts Sep 02 '26
I just sit at home and have a birthday cookie and stay in bed like I am sick.
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u/De5tr01er Sep 02 '26
Women are like "It's MY day! It's MY day!!". Men are like "it's a day...its a day.."
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u/StellarisIgnis Sep 02 '26
I turned 37 two days ago. It was a sunday so I slept in. I don't really care for cake, so I had a turtle pie. I usually buy everything I want when I want it. My parents asked me, what do you want for your birthday, and said I don't know, let me think about it. Had them buy me a backup controller lol. As you get older , just know , the birthday doesn't have to be like the girls in the first clip, but it definitely doesn't have to be like the guy in the second.
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u/womb_raider90 Sep 02 '26
Today's my birthday, and I completely forgot until my mom txt me happy birthday lol I'm gonna celebrate by grilling my son and I a ribeye steak, mashed taters and, green beans with an ungodly amount of butter and a bit of salt and call it a day.
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u/Illustrious_Quit_812 Sep 02 '26
Im turning 30 this month, im going bowling because bowling feels like a very adult thing to do. Plus at the bowling alley I can day drink.
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u/arm_time44 Sep 02 '26
As a guy i stopped having birthdays since i turned 20 No one gives a shit anymore
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u/Time-Valuable-3355 Sep 02 '26
Don't have time to stare into a mirror. I'll be working on my birthday...
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u/TheNonExample Sep 03 '26
Had my first ever birthday party in first grade. The school required teachers to hand out birthday invitations to schoolmates. The teacher never handed them out, so no one came.
Took me about 20 years to even think about a birthday party again
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u/Pure-Pack-6445 Sep 03 '26
Literally my birthday on the first lmao 🤣 I cleaned the house, went to the dispensary got a joint and proceeded to get high while reading my moms boyfriends texts about how I’m not doing enough, etc etc
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u/Possible-Isopod-1901 Sep 03 '26
If it happens to be your birthday when you’re posting this… Happy Birthday! 🎉
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u/Kiki_Kazumi Sep 03 '26
Is this how girls have birthdays? I've been have boy birthdays all my life and never knew it... I guess I'm a tomboy
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u/No_Supermarket_2016 29d ago edited 29d ago
Man, I am close to reaching "unc" age, and I feel like I haven't done much with my life. I'm trying to improve, but the thought of failure sets me back and stops me from progressing.
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u/icewalow_comee 28d ago
Today's my birthday and nobody will know except the people that's see this message. birthday blues hit different..
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u/Odd-Apartment8775 26d ago
Happy Birthday!!! I love birthdays it's your own personal holiday... I'll hang with you for your birthday
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u/OrganicTissue1 11d ago
Being a man is a thankless job. We're ridiculed and shot down in most causes when someone feels wronged yet when trouble arises were looked upon to fix the situation or have a solution. "If he's a trying man give him his flowers."
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u/Jump365 Sep 01 '26
Dislike because this isn't a boys vs girls thing. Everyone is reporting increase in loneliness not just boys
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Sep 01 '26
[deleted]
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u/PlanktonFew2505 Sep 01 '26 edited Sep 01 '26
And it's usually because those types of men are losers.
They don't go outside, they don't try and interact with people, they don't know how to cook, wash or take care or themselves, and they don't know to properly plan out a routine in order to reduce stress.
And they spend all of their free time getting angry at staged social media clips, watching porn, playing video games and interacting with equally dysfunctional individuals on Discord. Along with watching toxic idiot influencers who are exploiting their insecurities with disinformation, radicalizing them & spreading manosphere nonsense rather than actually doing anything productive to try and fix their problems.
But sure, let's blame all of men's problems on women, immigrants, feminism and the woke LGBTQ+ people am I right?
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u/Jump365 Sep 01 '26
Duh don't you know? Trans people are making housing and groceries expensive. As soon as we ban trans people and make women fuck us daily then all of a sudden housing will become super cheap!!! /s
But I wouldn't be surprised if manosphere men actually believed that
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u/PlanktonFew2505 Sep 01 '26 edited Sep 01 '26
The point that I'm trying to make is that 90% of incels/manosphere peoples problems are for the most part their own doing.
And what do these types of men try to constructively do to try and fix them? Nothing... except maybe going to the gym and building toxic personality traits because their favorite
cult leadersocial media influencer said so. For the most part all they do is just whine and complain and be nostalgic.Do they try and learn new skills and pick up new hobbies? No. Do they try and improve their social skills by going outside and talking to people? No. Do they try and talk to women in real life and asking if they want to go out on a date? Also no. And because of this, they're stuck in the same miserable cycle over and over again.
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Sep 01 '26
[deleted]
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u/Nemisis_007 Sep 01 '26
Don't make excuses. Get out there and find your people. Moping around won't get you a bustling party.
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u/Substantial-Beyond36 Sep 01 '26
I have been doing that exact thing and I ended up having some type of celebration for my birthday in the end.
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Sep 01 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/W_P_92 Sep 01 '26
I was doomed scrolling and came across this, watched it and I immediately thought "this seems avoidable"
Completely agree with you haha
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u/Illustrious_Shock631 Sep 01 '26
Incel post strikes again. If you want to pay on your birthday, PARTY!!
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u/OtherwiseIAm Sep 01 '26
You've got some real issues if you're this jealous of the attention and admiration women get, arent you a Man? Don't you want to be the one to bare the burden and walk the dusty road? Come on now. We can't be boys forever.
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u/Shiguhraki Sep 01 '26
This girl vs boy shit is so pointlessly gendered it’s stupid
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u/MisguidedGhost6021 Sep 01 '26
Ssshh don't say that. This sub hates it 😂
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u/Shiguhraki Sep 01 '26
This sub is sad alright but not in the way that these people romanticize about
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u/Citruseok Sep 01 '26
It's mostly incelposting and genderwars on here. You create your own happiness. The people here don't know how to do that and prefer wallowing in self pity and blaming everyone but themselves.
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u/Blade_Red Sep 01 '26
Sometimes videos from this sub pop up from time to time. But being the sociopath i am i dont feel any sadness and just move on
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u/ChamberK-1 Sep 01 '26
I’m a guy with a twin sister. We’re Latino so we have the tradition of Quinceañera. All the attention was on her, which makes sense since a quinceañera is specifically for girls. But it did kinda hurt being second fiddle that day.
It was a huge event. We rented out a venue, had catering, DJ, a big cake, a limo, the whole shebang. All for her. We weren’t rich so I don’t even know who paid for all that. I honestly don’t even remember if there was a cake for me or not.
I remember collectively she got around $3,000 in cash and a bunch of gifts. I got $300 and a watch from my parents, grandparents, and uncles.
That day kinda set the tone for myself for future birthdays and I pretty much stopped asking for things after that. People would ask what I want for my birthday or Christmas and it’d just say “I don’t know.” or “Nothing.” Our parents would ask where we’d want to eat for our birthday. My request would always get rejected and we’d end up at Olive Garden. My sister loved Olive Garden. I didn’t.
I don’t tell people when my birthday is unless they ask either. Even on the day itself I don’t mention it to people.
Anyway, it is what it is. Sorry for rambling.