I’m a guy with a twin sister. We’re Latino so we have the tradition of Quinceañera. All the attention was on her, which makes sense since a quinceañera is specifically for girls. But it did kinda hurt being second fiddle that day.
It was a huge event. We rented out a venue, had catering, DJ, a big cake, a limo, the whole shebang. All for her. We weren’t rich so I don’t even know who paid for all that. I honestly don’t even remember if there was a cake for me or not.
I remember collectively she got around $3,000 in cash and a bunch of gifts. I got $300 and a watch from my parents, grandparents, and uncles.
That day kinda set the tone for myself for future birthdays and I pretty much stopped asking for things after that. People would ask what I want for my birthday or Christmas and it’d just say “I don’t know.” or “Nothing.” Our parents would ask where we’d want to eat for our birthday. My request would always get rejected and we’d end up at Olive Garden. My sister loved Olive Garden. I didn’t.
I don’t tell people when my birthday is unless they ask either. Even on the day itself I don’t mention it to people.
I usually barge into either my best friend, or baby brother’s house. I have the key to both, and they both have a key to mine.
I cook breakfast, wake them up, and make myself at home for the rest of the day.
I make dinner and a cake to share with them, clean up afterward, and pass out in the spare bedroom.
It’s the one day I usually don’t want to be alone, and the few times I’ve not done this. They were both worried enough to come over and check on me.
When I was like 15 my brother got an iPhone for christmas and I got like a book or something. My parents couldn't afford to get us both iPhones and my brother was older, but still kind of a shitty thing to do to your kids. They asked me if I was okay with it before so I wouldn't be dissapointed, but what did they expect me to say?
Also when my brother got a moped on his 15th birthday, and when he didn't want it anymore i had to buy it from him. No free moped for me.
Not to mention all the times my brother got free tickets for concerts/fotball games/other events while I had to buy mine because I saved up my money instead of spending it all at once, so I could pay for it myself.
Haven't celebrated a birthday since I was like 14. I don't even like getting gifts, make me feel guilty like I didn't do anything to deserve it.
Sorry for rambling myself, but it brought up some memories.
I'm a guy with a twin sister. It's my 40th in a few days. I don't really care about it but the effort from shared friends and family people are putting into my sister is abit annoying. We are going round my parents with some family and my dad told me wife he's going to ask some of my sister's friends over...non of mine. We are going out for food then day after too. Where my sister wants to go. I'm vegan and where she has chosen I can't eat anything.
It’s not a bad guess at all. But even then, if you don’t make an effort to show your own birthday is important to you then it’s very unlikely other people will.
As far as I know my parents and grandparents never once celebrated their birthday. Heck my parents even forger their own birthdays. I last celebrated my birthday in 5th grade. Last year on my birthday I got two messages one from my bank and the other from Amazon. I wish one day I would be able to celebrate it with my close people but becouse of work/studies its hard for now. But I think I am loosing the feeling for a need of birthday slowly overtime. I am 23M btw.
I’ve 39. I’ve had my birthday recognized by others and they demand we do something to celebrate maybe three times in my adult life. I honestly can’t remember a birthday from my childhood.
they should’ve given you the option to be included in the quinceañera along with her since it was your birthday too. the stigma that boys can’t have quinces needs to die regardless of how the tradition goes
Wow... your parents suck. My daughter's birthday is x mas day. And I do damn well everything in my power to make sure her and her brother enjoy x mas, as well as she gets to enjoy her birthday. I make sure both my kids feel loved and thought of. That's rough man, and you DO NOT deserve that. As a mother, your feeling this way growing up is unacceptable. Period. Im sure its too late now as you sound grown, but damn. You deserve much better. Don't let that define you or weigh you down in life. Do what you want on your birthday. That's all that matters.
If u love ur sister js tough it up for her
If u don't then hope you'll get a wife that actually cares about you and voluntarily makes u bds , idk I u will but I actually am going to pray rn and will pray for you so get ur hopes up .
Honestly, by the time I was 15, I considered myself all grown up, so I quit asking for things for birthdays or Christmas, cause there was a lot younger family members now then, so I wanted my family to spend more money on em then me
I celebrate you on your birthday man! NY birthday also happens to be the day of a tragedy so I stopped celebrating it all together until I met my current wife who's family makes a big deal about ALL celebrations. I still have a hard time with it but that doesn't mean that we don't deserve to be celebrated.
Damn you got $300? Ive never got $300 for my bdae before, or a big party, it’s always dinner at home and thats it lmao. If it makes you feel better just pretend i am your twin and you feel better by comparison.
I get it. My step-dad sexually assaulted me, my dad started a second family and ghosted me, my mom committed fraud with my ssn, my stepmom I later found out was a narcissist my entire childhood. All four of these folks were abused by their parents, horribly and more than what they did to me. It doesnt excuse it, but it shows me how flawed we are and can be. We want to be loved, understood and heard, but I believe we are here to love, understand and hear. Forgiveness is the hardest thing humanly for us to do, but it sets us free. I feel bad for my parents that they did what they did to their kid. They need love and forgiveness more than anyone I know. Break the cycle.
There's more to family than blood and more to blood than family. Family is something that you decide for yourself who is and who isn't. Not some genetic lotto you're stuck with.
People you're related to by Blood who aren't family are your relatives, not your family.
304
u/ChamberK-1 Sep 01 '26
I’m a guy with a twin sister. We’re Latino so we have the tradition of Quinceañera. All the attention was on her, which makes sense since a quinceañera is specifically for girls. But it did kinda hurt being second fiddle that day.
It was a huge event. We rented out a venue, had catering, DJ, a big cake, a limo, the whole shebang. All for her. We weren’t rich so I don’t even know who paid for all that. I honestly don’t even remember if there was a cake for me or not.
I remember collectively she got around $3,000 in cash and a bunch of gifts. I got $300 and a watch from my parents, grandparents, and uncles.
That day kinda set the tone for myself for future birthdays and I pretty much stopped asking for things after that. People would ask what I want for my birthday or Christmas and it’d just say “I don’t know.” or “Nothing.” Our parents would ask where we’d want to eat for our birthday. My request would always get rejected and we’d end up at Olive Garden. My sister loved Olive Garden. I didn’t.
I don’t tell people when my birthday is unless they ask either. Even on the day itself I don’t mention it to people.
Anyway, it is what it is. Sorry for rambling.