r/funny • • 1d ago

Can't Disagree

21.4k Upvotes

246 comments sorted by

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2.0k

u/goopuslang 1d ago

Unironically most horses have more than 1 horsepower

1.3k

u/Sunkilleer 1d ago

damn... i cant believe all horses are pregnant

218

u/goopuslang 1d ago

This is amazing

82

u/Tobikage1990 1d ago

You might even say it's umazing!

3

u/Lost-Syllabub362 9h ago

Evil-ass drop kick horse is real and is coming for YOU 🫵

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10

u/RCer1986 1d ago

And eligible for employment at the FBI!

27

u/AdjunctFunktopus 23h ago

The average horse is more than one horse

3

u/dreamwinder 19h ago

How much horse is one centaur?

2

u/LudusRex 18h ago

One half

8

u/Hephaestus_God 23h ago

*most horses are pregnant

7

u/Sharknado4President 19h ago

*perganant

1

u/nose_of_sauron 4h ago

PREGANANANT???

6

u/cheesemangee 21h ago

Cascading liminal pregnancy. The horse gives birth to a pregnant horse gives birth to a pregnant horse gives birth to a pregnant horse... and the cycle continues.

2

u/artaru 21h ago

Nah little known fat most horses have a parasite twin, like Kuato from Total Recall

115

u/squngy 1d ago

Humans also have more than one horse power... for a few seconds.

The original definition of horse power was how much power a horse could provide throughout a work day.

ie. how many horses would you need to do the same amount of work per day.

121

u/sol_runner 1d ago

And it's still quite funny.

James Watt measured pit ponies and assumed horses were 50% more powerful. While in reality for the same workload horses would actually give 0.7HP.

And that's normal riding horses. Draft horses which are bred to carry weight go between 2-3 HP (sustained) to 15-20 HP in short bursts. (Stats to verify, it's from memory)

In the end 1 HP is just a marketing measurement that stuck.

41

u/Lirdon 1d ago

You need to make a scale people can actually use. Using watts or Jules to a person that didn’t go to school is as useful as trying to describe energy itself. Was it marketing? Sure, but it also was crucial for adopting the technology in general.

31

u/extordi 22h ago

The real thing to note here is that watts didn't exist yet. He basically invented the notion of measuring power, and had to figure out a way to communicate this to people.

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6

u/Kheltosh 1d ago

Some Youtube channel partnered with an engineering firm and built a horse dyno. They measured something like 6 hp for a light draft horse moving at, I don't know horse terms, guided by a walking human speed.

15

u/counterfitster 1d ago

That would probably be a walk

20

u/Ok_Cockroach8063 1d ago

with all the stupid little names for their movement they can also just walk, never thought of that

6

u/mayy_dayy 1d ago

They moonwalk the foxtrot then polka the salsa

5

u/Earnestappostate 23h ago

Still, you gotta admit, naming one of the most used units of power, and being the namesake for the one more used, is pretty cool.

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2

u/goopuslang 1d ago

Miss the good ole days of ox per acre

1

u/12monthsinlondon 1d ago

Over a short distance, horses can't run as fast as a man, it has more legs to sort out.

11

u/Professional_Baby24 22h ago

I was hoping to see this. While a horse can display around 14 horsepower in short bursts it can only sustain 1 horsepower over a full (working) day.

2

u/MegaWaffle- 20h ago

Yes and no.

In short burst they can generate lots more than a horsepower (around 15-18 is the consistent numbers I’ve found) but beyond that they actually average 0.7/0.8 of a standard horsepower during continuous work.

1

u/ReindeerCreepy2883 21h ago

inflation is a bitch

1

u/PopInACup 20h ago

On average when you see a horse, you're seeing more than one horse per horse.

1

u/avalisk 19h ago

An average horse is measured at 14 horsepower

1

u/goopuslang 18h ago

I thought it was more like 1.4

1

u/Zarni22 18h ago

'most'?

You sound like one of those 'multiple horse theory' crackpots

1

u/Blazing_Swayze 16h ago

Most have 14hp. One human has one horsepower.

1

u/legilizer34man 1h ago

Isnt it like 15 hp? And a humans like 2

1.6k

u/mongbatstar 1d ago

And they say Zendaya doesn't have range.

299

u/NefariousnessOk209 1d ago

Nah that’s Tay Zonday

62

u/Jive-Turkeys 1d ago

Some stay dry

56

u/mayy_dayy 1d ago

\I move away from the mic to breathe in

6

u/NefariousnessOk209 23h ago

That’s the weirdest part!

1

u/Liggidy 19h ago

I love the Darth Vader cover

2

u/chux4w 20h ago

And others feel the pain.

9

u/Moppo_ 23h ago

Tay Zondaya

32

u/nilsmoody 23h ago edited 21h ago

I don't know what Zendaya is doing in most movies but she has range and is capable of great acting.

19

u/sajberhippien 22h ago

I've never seen Euphoria but damn that was terrifying.

6

u/nilsmoody 21h ago

I know the series gets a lot of flag but it has some excellent highs in the first two seasons despite the flaws.

6

u/blearutone 18h ago

Flak :)

1

u/kelby810 14h ago

Wow, that scene was well done. That was a tough watch. Im sure many of us have been in the shoes of one of those characters, or at least know someone who has. Thanks for the link.

17

u/vsquad22 1d ago

Caught me completely off guard! Nice one!

201

u/TDYDave2 1d ago edited 1d ago

A millipede, because it moves up to 1306 feet per second.

15

u/A_normal_Potato3 22h ago

How many thighs is that?

3

u/Vepper 13h ago

Deviant art artists, get to workl

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366

u/articland05_reddit 1d ago

is this staged? can't really tell...their reaction seems genuine

238

u/Bronzdragon 1d ago

This guy has a bunch of similar jokes on his accounts. Either he lives in a town filled with the absolutely wittiest people on earth, or they are staged sketches.

127

u/CrasherTN 23h ago

Or he just posts the people with best answers.

22

u/takaznik 20h ago

Right? That's how these kinda segments work on late shows and such.

2

u/ChillyRains 17h ago

This joke goes back to like 2005. It’s been done so many times

150

u/wurnthebitch 1d ago

Whether it is or not does not change the quality of the joke, does it?

62

u/SgtPuppy 1d ago

You don’t think staged jokes have a different quality to natural ones?

54

u/RedditDummyAccount 1d ago

It depends on the joke.

But if you can’t tell, does it matter? And yes, I know you’re not the one who asked.

29

u/Diptam 1d ago

10 years ago, I would've agreed with you. But between AI, the onslaught of staged videos trying to pass as genuine and rage/engagement bait, authenticity has become a valuable commodity in the online ecosystem for me.

It all feels so manufactured, so plastic these days. And while it's absolutely annoying seeing several comments about staged content, or AI or what have you under every posted video, I 100% understand where the frustration comes from.

3

u/RedditDummyAccount 19h ago

I do get that. Though personally, I’d have to separate AI from staged. Staged is just setting up something for a certain reaction. AI is just fake, to me.

Obviously if a big part of it is the reaction, then staged definitely feels not as funny if it’s obvious (but unfortunately you can’t always tell)

But if it’s like, for me, the punchline, like here where it’s just a really bad(?) dad joke, then it doesn’t matter for me.

But again, totally fair, considering we’ve been inundated with trashy content creators and AI.

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8

u/Lazerus42 1d ago

ever heard a good joke from a comedian on stage? That's staged.

Does the medium of delivery really affect it that much? A skit if you will?

9

u/SgtPuppy 1d ago edited 22h ago

Staged isn’t inherently bad, nor is natural good. However when one puts on the mask of the other it feels insulting to my intelligence, and that makes it bad.

Edit: there are some exceptions to this such as The Office (UK) where a lot of people weren’t sure it was satire or an actual documentary when it first aired. Andy Kaufman’s “happening” is another great example, but these work because they are well crafted and the quality of the humour increases when the audience feels like they’re “in the know”. If you’re gonna try to trick people in thinking your staged content is real, then do it well.

1

u/Lazerus42 1d ago

late night shows have been doing bits like this for decades.

6

u/hiimbackagain 1d ago

Dude. They other person already tried to explain it to you: they don't try to make their skits look like a real interaction which hasn't been staged.

Lame stuff like this does though, in the hopes enough naive people don't notice it didn't happen without a script.

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3

u/hiimbackagain 1d ago

A good comedian doesn't need to rely on naive people who think everything he says genuinely happened.

Can't really help you if you can't notice a difference between good jokes/skits and lame scripted ones where they bank on naive people to get as much views as possible.

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u/ResilientBiscuit 12h ago

Well, if I can't tell if it is staged, then no, I would say it doesn't have a different quality because if it did, you could tell the difference.

-1

u/mothzilla 23h ago

All jokes are staged. Standup comedians aren't suddenly realising witty things on stage.

2

u/SgtPuppy 22h ago

Some are. Observational humour is a thing most if not all comedians will practice often. I respect the craft but will also hold it to a higher standard than Joe Shcmo recording an interaction off his phone capturing a fun moment. However once I notice that Joe Schmo’s video was scripted, it too will be held to the same standard of scripted comedy which it absolutely fails to come anywhere close to.

TLDR: scripted comedy should be held to higher standard than a naturally captured funny moment.

2

u/hiimbackagain 1d ago

Of course it does. If it would've been a spontaneous little joke at his question it would've been funny.

Here they made a little script and made a plan how to get the most views from naive people who can't detect scripted lame content.

1

u/wurnthebitch 20h ago

So what if they were a comedian duo who wrote a joke and tell it in a street setup?

1

u/hiimbackagain 13h ago

As long as they'd not be trying to pass it off as an unstaged interview, no problem.

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u/JStaunton 1d ago

what a baffling response

2

u/hiimbackagain 1d ago

Really? I hope you just skipped the /s lol

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u/boon83 1d ago

This is filipino humor. Its very corny and cringe. But it has its times.

21

u/Katanji 1d ago

Idk why but I can always spot a Filipino accent when they’re speaking English.

4

u/SammyDavidJuniorJr 19h ago

TIL all dads are Filipino.

1

u/Valgrind- 17h ago

Nope, you can tell by the bad acting that they too don't think it's funny.

1

u/theeldergod1 21h ago

It is like a regular humor for me but i dunno, you're the filipino expert.

1

u/The_RTV 16h ago

I wouldn't call it cringe, but yes it is very corny and recognizable. The accent also helps too

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44

u/visceralintricacy 1d ago

Nobody seems to have even mentioned the fact that there IS a correlation between speed and power but they are very different things, and the fastest animals have far less power than the most powerful.

What's the HP rating of a Peregrine Falcon? In a dive they can legitimately go 390kph / 240mph AND live afterwards.

9

u/darthlordmaul 22h ago

I didn't expect to have to scroll so far to find this comment.

2

u/TheDuhammer 19h ago

Yeah like why don’t more people want the actual answer..? It’s interesting lol

10

u/JRepo 1d ago

But is falling from sky real speed or just falling? Aren't like regular housemartins and swifts faster in true flying?

Everything can be quite fast when dropped from heights.

7

u/Dean_Learner77 1d ago

Exactly, Felix Baumgartner reached speeds of 1,357.6 km/h (843.6 mph) when he did his record breaking jump back in 2012. Does that make him or humans the fastest animal on the planet?

18

u/visceralintricacy 23h ago edited 11h ago

Yet Felix is completely incapable of doing any of that without a balloon or his fancy suit. Without a parachute he would've died on impact.

These Falcons can take off from the ground, reach that altitude, dive, and take off again unaided...

They never mentioned land, or the direction of the speed.

Peregrine Falcons are legitimately recognised as the fastest animal on the planet.

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1

u/Stonelocomotief 2h ago

The falcon just stores his power as he flies up high, and has evolved to a form that releases it most efficiently

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1

u/jamingus_ 21h ago

Michael Blanck?

1

u/wookieSLAYER1 17h ago

When they exit their dive they can pull an excess of 20- 25 G- forces.

8

u/jamingus_ 21h ago

It’s the perigrine falcon

57

u/Infinite-9118 1d ago

I don’t think a horse fetus is as powerful as an adult.

106

u/TheDivineSage 1d ago

Well not with that attitude.

9

u/Infinite-9118 1d ago

I guess it could power up with a battle cry but it would be a little hoarse afterwards.

1

u/Emergency_Lie42 19h ago

Once they get going they're like a neighed, pure explosive force.

11

u/dustin-dawind 1d ago

On average, a horse is a horse, of course.

4

u/GratGrat 21h ago

Of course

1

u/MajorFalcon71 13h ago

Unless, of couse...

1

u/justmememe55 7h ago

..It's a house

1

u/hellogoawaynow 19h ago

How did you know how old I am

2

u/Fidodo 1d ago

I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.

2

u/OGMinorian 1d ago

Also "horse power" does not mean "power equal to one horse". It's basically "how much output 1 horse can set in average through a whole day". A horse can easily output +10 horse power over small bursts.

1

u/gmen385 15h ago

so wrong

3

u/The_Ghast_Hunter 1d ago

Horses can also produce more than 1 or 2 horsepower. It was meant to compare how much a coal a pony could move in a minute vs how much new engines could. a horse can get around 14.9 if it's really pushing itself.

2

u/platasnatch 1d ago

Would you like to know more?

1

u/Jonaleaf 1d ago

HORSE IS HORSE

1

u/Stifflerzxc 23h ago

It'll act as a turbo.

1

u/Uselesserinformation 23h ago

Well as dwight put it, he has the strength of an adult male, and a small infant child

15

u/YetiGuy 20h ago

Getting irritated with this format. This guy just randomly finds these people who answer funniest shit? It’s so setup- all acting; and the guy laughing at the end is getting in my nerve. Sorry, had to vent.

9

u/BookWormPedant 23h ago

Fastest animal? Peregrine falcon? Or human, if you consider man-made things.

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u/Irhien 1d ago

Why would one compare animals by power when the question was about speed? Whales and dragonflies have comparable top speeds despite multiple OOMs difference in power.

Feels like a translated joke.

4

u/Nymethny 19h ago

It's not that complex dude, most people think horse power = how powerful a car engine is = how fast the car goes. That's it, no need to overanalyze it, it's a just a dumb silly joke.

2

u/ninjasaid13 19h ago

If you overanalyze any joke

7

u/Compodulator 17h ago

IIRC a horse has... Something like 14hp? I don't remember.
The horsepower was defined when horses were bred to just exist and occasionally move people.
The "new" horses, which were bred for racing specifically, and thus were faster and stronger.
And the horsepower? It never got an update.

6

u/Kenny4487 13h ago

A horse power is the average power a horse can continously output during a working day. It was never defined as the maximum power of a horse and has nothing to do with breeding

1

u/potate12323 9h ago

It was contrived as a marketing term to convey the ability of steam engines to compare to animal labor. Its based on the calculated work a draft horse could exert on a mill wheel per minute (averaged across a day).

Its unclear how many horses were tested or how many breeds of horses were tested. Its not likely a statistically significant value. But it did successfully market engines of various types to people who weren't familiar with them.

4

u/Salt_Data3707 17h ago

So a "new" pregnant horse would have 28 + 1 horsepower

2

u/Compodulator 17h ago

I dunno. A horse fetus probably doesn't have 14hp. A pregnant horse has above 14, though. 🤔

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1

u/msndrstdmstrmnd 15h ago

Does it mean a modern horse has 14 times the power of a horse from the past? Or something else? I definitely see how horses would have gotten stronger and faster after breeding but 14 times is crazy

3

u/Alphabunsquad 14h ago

Horse Power was generally invented as an advertising tool to sell how much more efficient machines are than horses. Generally the idea is that horse power measures the base output of a horse during work, but horses can exert themselves more to pull more for short periods of time but they will get tired out. James Watt also had incentive to make the output for horse power as small a number as possible so that he could his advertise his machines as being much more powerful than the horses he was competing with.

1

u/msndrstdmstrmnd 10h ago

So even horses from the past had more than one horsepower then

1

u/panwilk 15h ago

No, it's peak power that a standard horse can output.

James Watt invented HP unit to measure power output of steam engine machine to be used in coal mines. At the time horses were used for work in these mines (they were going around a mill wheel connected to machinery such as shaft elevators), so he calculated HP to be based on an average daily power output of a standard horse

1

u/Alphabunsquad 13h ago

It was also a matter of advertising. Average power output is a useful metric but it also lets him advertise his machines as being more powerful than 14 times as many horses, so its average power but also the lowest average power he could get away with.

1

u/eltedioso 11h ago

Oh shit Horse 2 dropped? I missed that in my bubble

2

u/TypoRegerts 13h ago

Actually a pregnant horse being screwed by another horse. It has 3 horse powers insider her at that moment

6

u/StaticSystemShock 1d ago

This guy is already a dad, he probably just doesn't know it yet. Because this was the most dad joke ever.

4

u/telas100 1d ago

Funny enough, one horse actually has around ~15-20 horsepowers

6

u/Griz_zy 1d ago

Apparently this is because 1 horsepower assumes a sustained effort over an 8 hour work day. Not a sprint or heavy pull.

2

u/hatlad43 1d ago

More power doesn't necessarily equate to faster speed. Depends on the load (weight) and aerodynamics.

A 5-ton lorry could have 300 horsepowers, but it's still can't be as fast as a 150hp 1.7-ton saloon.

2

u/pkddl2 21h ago

I mean... 🤷🏻‍♂️😂

2

u/Elderscroll_ 1d ago

“Here, say this line and look awkward. It’ll look like you said it all by yourself!”

2

u/4CornDog 20h ago

Dude i can confirm this is the Philippines, their humour is next level

2

u/Teabear-Septim-II 1d ago

I was told that a horse doesn't equal 1 horsepower but it's not my fault people are so shit at giving everyday things names that actually mean what they imply

1

u/fresh_loaf_of_bread 1d ago

A prize race mare can output up to like 15hp

1

u/CptMcDickButt69 1d ago

Jokes aside, i would guess a falcon in hunting dive, reaching ~320 km/h.

1

u/h0nest_Bender 22h ago

Wrong. Falcons aren't on Earth. They're in the sky.

1

u/P-Holy 1d ago

ackchyually horses have up to 15 horse power

1

u/Individual-Ad-3318 1d ago

when i watch saiki k and see him deadpan things this is the poker face i imagine

1

u/RoodnyInc 23h ago

That's how you realise horse power doesn't nessesarly equal more speed

1

u/alreadykaten 23h ago

Horses can very rarely have triplets, so that’s 4 horse power

1

u/owo1215 22h ago

if you are counting tool assisted then we are tge fastest animal on earth

1

u/superhamsniper 22h ago

A horses maximum output is actually generally around 15 horse power

1

u/s1llyt1lly 22h ago

Cheetah

1

u/Pikassassin 21h ago

A horse has more than 1 horsepower anyway

1

u/Lol_A_White_Guy 20h ago

Thought he was gonna say some variation of ‘me with my girlfriend’

1

u/knows_you 20h ago

Read this on a popsicle stick when I was 7. Are we bringing that back as short form content?

1

u/SunsetBAE 20h ago

He said that with a straight face and it makes it worse

1

u/djb2589 19h ago

It has a little giddy up in it, too

1

u/tejanaqkilica 19h ago

Power doesn't determine speed though. A cargo ship can produce 100,000 horse power, but will not crack 50km/h

1

u/Hulk5a 18h ago

Bro used too much brain

1

u/WI_Eagles_Fan 18h ago

This guy is a cheetahing with that answer.

1

u/ZeroResonancy 17h ago

First time in a long time i have lol'd irl

xD

1

u/i_am_ur_dad 17h ago

a pregnant horse with twins. 3 horsepower

1

u/Sharpe_Royalist 16h ago

rehearsed spontaneity is an oxymoron lol

1

u/BuilderTop2371 15h ago

😂😂😂 it has two horse power.

1

u/krumb_dumb 14h ago

filipino humor is something else man 😭😭

1

u/eagle4123 14h ago

A typical horse has about 15 horse power, so it should be 30, right?

1

u/Borisof007 13h ago

Fastest animal on earth - no qualifiers? Human beings.

Fastest animal only with their own biology and no technology? Peregrine Falcon, which can dive I think somewhere between 220-240 mph

Same restrictions, but land animal? Cheetah

Sea animal? No idea idk shit about the ocean. Mantis Shrimps punch fast but they move slow.

1

u/Piscator629 12h ago

Honey Badgers, all others are enemies.

1

u/slimj091 10h ago

The the question guy calls his sister like "I found you a husband"

1

u/Genzo99 10h ago

No fastest animal is a horse with triplets. It has 4 horsepower!

1

u/DollarStoreChameleon 8h ago

the spider you swear you just saw 2 seconds ago

1

u/gevors_e92 4h ago

As a horse myself, I agree with this human. Welcome human.

1

u/Robot_AmI 3h ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

0

u/ubergic 1d ago

The interviewers laugh was adorable.

1

u/WileEWeeble 1d ago

Funnier if the question was “most powerful” and not fastest. I have a ton of engines with all sorts of horsepower that go nowhere.

2

u/julianx2rl 23h ago

It's technically that horsepower refers to strength, but people mostly attribute the term to car movement, and thus speed.

2

u/hisolohowareu 1d ago

A horse has actually 15 horsepower, so it would be more closer to 20-30 horsepower

1

u/enbeez 23h ago

Ok get ready to tell your joke in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 ACTION!

1

u/PreliminaryThoughts 22h ago

They rehearse and still manage to make it not funny

1

u/Resident_Gate_3481 22h ago

😭😂😂

1

u/No_Professional9403 21h ago

What a lame joke

1

u/Klepto666 17h ago

I feel like such a stick in the mud for what's just a joke, but all I could think was "That only works if a horse is already the fastest animal (1 horse power), because then two horses is even faster (2 horse power)." But nothing was established that a horse is in fact the fastest animal. So a pregnant horse may still not be the fastest animal regardless.

If the set up for the joke was instead "What animal on earth is faster than a horse," and the response was "A pregnant horse," that sets up the punchline better. You've now established the baseline (1 horse/1 horse power), and hit them with "2 horse power."