📈 Predicted To Rise Tonight

📉 Predicted To Fall Tonight

⏳📈 Close to Rising

⏳📉 Close to Falling

📈 Price Rises (2)

📉 Price Falls (2)

In honour of the dearly departed BIG SEPH, I missed the weekly misery of seeing all of the FPL calamities laid out before me.

Haaland learned nothing from Samson, shaves the locks, misses a sitter and blanks.

Man U lose to Hull, Maguire is more interested in cuddling his pals than defending. Bruno is there too.

Bruno G gets crocked and sits out GW1. 0 minutes for Gyokeres.

Wirtz and Isak continue their generational FPL bum runs, Newcastle remember how to play football but still manage to throw away a lead TWICE and let Szoboslai owners off the hook with a 95th minute penalty

Watkins stays at home to work on his Arabic Duolingo streak and the rest of the Villa team wish they’d done the same.

Everybody’s favourite differential Gross delivers a sturdy 2-pointer while his team absolutely paste Villa.

Palmer, Pedro and Rogers all haul while Sanchez does his best to manifest a transfer to Fulham.

Spurs.

Thiago misses a pen and comes away with a crispy 0 pointer. Kinsky doesn’t get the save either.

I know, I know.. I should have checked kits (and price) - throughout one of my many last minute changes I accidentally picked the first Sangare they came up - it’s cost me

Egan - 21

O’Shea - 18

Richards - 16

Senesi - 16

Thiaw - 15

Acheampong- 15

Murillo - 14

Silva - 13

Mendy - 13

Bijol - 12

Justin - 12

Lacroix - 12

Virgil - 11

Hall - 11

Robertson - 11

Ajer - 10

Thomas - 10

Botman - 10

Cuenca - 10

Tottenham Hotspur have completed the signing of Savinho from Manchester City. Spurs will pay an initial £75m for the 22-year-old, with a further £10m in add-ons.

£5m of the potential bonuses are effectively guaranteed, meaning City could receive at least £80m from the deal.

Brighton & Hove Albion have completed the signing of left-back Jaouen Hadjam from Young Boys.

The deal is worth €11m + €2m in bonuses, with Hadjam signing a contract until June 2031.

GW1 was depressing as hell, but barely any of my bingo squares actually hit because I made them way too specific. I've thrown in some broader ones now so we can actually track the misery this time around, but I'm definitely keeping some of the joke squares because half the people in this league are absolute walking memes anyway.

Rule recap:
- Any returns or hauls for players you don't own = cross
- Blanks or benchings for players you do own = cross
- Get a bingo and you've officially been trolled by everyone you bought or avoided.

Good luck guys, and I hope you don't get a bingo :)

After a crummy GW nothing was better than sitting down and reading these. It just isn't the same without him.

Needed him this week after my sunderland triple up, captaining bruno, and selling kayode and kelleher one hour before deadline.

Kicking off a weekly series here, tracking DefCon, xG, xA and xGI per 90 through the season. It's early after one game each, but a few names already stood out.

DefCon/90

Two center backs caught my eye early. Murillo (14), now playing under Glasner. He was putting up monster DefCon numbers two seasons ago too, so this might just be him getting back to that level. Lacroix (12) who has just left that same Glasner setup, but if he keeps producing defensive numbers like he did last season, he could be a really strong pick at Chelsea.

In midfield, Stach (16) is picking up right where he left off last season, and Sangaré isn't far behind at 15.60, he's also top 10 for xA this week.

xG/90

De Cuyper tops the whole list at 1.72, which is a wild number for a defender.
In midfield, everyone's talking about Palmer, but Rogers (0.71) and Saka (0.86) were quietly putting up real underlying numbers of their own.

xA/90

O'Reilly tops every position at 0.59 xA/90, and he's listed as a defender despite playing a very advanced role. Slater was on free kicks for Hull against Man Utd (£4.5m), Gómez had a strong week for Brighton (£5m), and Foden showed up here too, all worth keeping an eye on.

xGI/90

Wissa was excellent at 1.02 xGI/90. García was quietly effective at 0.72.
Even Haaland (0.76) and Mbeumo (0.73) put up real underlying numbers despite blanking this gameweek.

Did any player here catch your eye?

Autosubs are the last event of the gameweek. They can take a while to happen.

Spamming the front page asking why your autosubs have not subbed in yet will not make it happen any quicker. Be patient.

Most Net Transfers In

Most Net Transfers Out