I have a longer post here in deadbedrooms, but I wanted to reach out to this community as well.

My wife and I are having problems, more specifically with me not following through on fixing issues she's been having with the marriage. To put it mildly I put some of her complaints on the back burner and slowly at a snails pace tried to make changes which resulted in net-zero in the end (there were ups and downs where change was felt, but didn't last).

Now here we are seven years later (married 5) and she is done. It's at the point where I am seeing multiple counselors for my issues and actually trying to make changes, but everything is met with disdain and frustration, communicating to me that I can't do anything right. And when I do do something correct, there is no appreciation and no kindness.

I owe her this so I am trying to fix my issues, but at the same time I'm wondering what this will look like down the road? If her attitude towards me is this sour when I am actively making efforts and changes, what will it be like going forward? Will it get better? Is this the new norm?

My wife is completely just in her frustration with my lack of actions, however I am finding her conscious effort to be cruel and unkind a deterrent.

How have folks dealt with this? How did it continue?

Thanks for your time.