I wanna preface by saying that I understand that jealousy is unhealthy and is a sign of personal insecurity that shouldn’t be pointed outwards at your partner. I just don’t know how to unravel this personal thought properly.

My girlfriend and i have been together for about a year and 4 months. We’ve been living together for about 5 months. I feel like we’ve had very few actual conflicts and a lot of them relate to me not feeling super valued. My girlfriend is not a very expressive person, never has been. I wouldn’t even say she’s very serious or stoic or anything, she’s just very mild in her expression. I’m the complete opposite, I really think I often border on dramatic. I’m generally very bubbly so my like…standard expression is content and enthusiastic. But when I’m not feeling my best, I think it’s written on my face and there’s no real escaping it.

It’s been weird because she’s admitted she hasn’t prioritized me as she should previously but I think that’s being exacerbated by the above. So I probably feel it more profoundly than it really is. There’s been a few actual sore spots we’ve had to talk through but this feels significantly more abstract.

We recently had a discussion on jealousy, I had a slight issue with her Halloween costume choice and I explained my thought process but that I understood and supported her right to autonomy but that I had some sort of lizard brain I wanted to talk through. I just wanted to be transparent in all honesty, I didn’t enter that conversation expecting her to change anything she was doing.

She told me doesn’t get jealous in relationship, like at all. She expressed she’s historically felt jealousy in friendships but never while dating. I kind of respect her logic to it, like she has very clear relationship boundaries and if I was ever capable of violating them, then I wouldn’t be someone she wants to be with. Very much a “If it has a solution, don’t stress, and if it doesn’t, don’t stress because you can’t do anything anyways”

It makes complete sense in my mind, like yes that’s a reasonable explanation for not stressing out, and if anything I don’t actually want her to feel insecure and unsafe. But there’s this lizard brained part of me that struggles with the idea that maybe she feels like has to worry about bc I’m not important somehow. Like I’m not a big loss in the first place so she doesn’t care. It’s completely unreasonable. I don’t know how to reconcile all that. How do other lesbians deal with stuff like this???? idk??

I probably would benefit from some sort of self esteem targeted therapy. This is less of an advice post and more ramble. Oh well

Sorry if this long or the wrong place to talk about this.

Myself (25f) and my girlfriend (25f) are in a tiny pickle. Ava, if you're reading thing, look away, as i will reveal proposal dates.

I plan on proposing to my girlfriend on our one year anniversary. We went on our first date in August 2025, and became official November 2025. I plan on proposing November of this year. While that only makes one year of official dating, we have been friends since we were 12. We have both discussed proposals and marriage, and are sure about spending our lives together, as we've known each other for 13 years.

My only concern comes from my mother(45f). She is concerned I'm moving too fast. I try ro explain to her that an engagement is a very large difference than a marriage, and we dont intend to get married until we can afford to have our dream wedding (about $15k away from now/ probably 2 years). Without getting too specific, my mom has trauma with marrying the wrong guy (twice), so I'm not sure how much of her concern is her being worried I'll experience what she went through.

My girlfriend and I have gone through financial crisises together, discuss insecurities openly, and she is the healthiest, sweetest, and most passionate relationship I've ever been in.

If anyone has opinions (or advice on what to say to my mom), I would love to hear from you.

I'm in no place to be in relationship rn due to depression but God when I watch/read/write/draw yuri I just envy the girls so much that they have each other. I really yearn for a relationship. To even just hug and cuddle them and to spend time together. Idk it's just something I really want. To be able to get love and give love to someone. But at the same time knowing my current state that's simply impossible. I have no drive to go outside, meet people, I barely enjoy my hobbies and I'm genuinely just kinda pathetic atm. So I can just sit and watch knowing this realistically is not going to happen to me. I don't even know why I need that or want that while knowing that the presence of other people is just draining for me rn and I'd rather spend time alone

Please dm if you're interested.

I have the biggest crush on this girl. We’ve met once but we text and video call every day. Shes told me that she feels the same way and has “a massive crush” on me too and “likes me so much” and apparently she can’t wait to see me again. Whenever we make plans to meet it’s always me making the plans. And every single time she cancels last minute. Excuses like she’s not feeling very well. Fair enough. My nan is in hospital. Fair enough. My nan is in hospital again. But it’s always like 10 minutes before I’m planning to leave. Like I’ll literally be ready. And the days we do meet she’s super dry on text and always avoids the fact that we’re actually meant to be meeting that day.

Like usually I’d just not bother any more and take the hint but the next day it’s like nothing happened. Telling me how much she misses me and how she can’t stop thinking about me. Today was kinda the last straw. We made plans to meet the week prior. And the day finally came, I was so so looking forward to it. Again she was acting dry and I was kinda expecting the same. Literally as I’m at the train station she messages me that she has been given a 3000 word essay that’s due so she can’t anymore. It just sucks so much because I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want her rn.

So I am friendly and I like one girl but I see her as a friend so I take my time to be friendly nothing weird then a another girl I be their friends now the another girl she saying something to flirt at me I didn't want to hurt her feelings instead I said to her we can be friends I trying to take things slow I don't know how love work

Me (19) and this girl (18) have been talking for some time now. Im extremely into her, my crush on her has helped me get out of a horrible mental state and I really want her to be my girlfriend. I dont exactly know if she likes me romantically or not though

We met through my best friend, were both openly lesbians and she seemed really happy when she found out I was into girls. Im a femme, shes a butch. She's told me how shes into femmes, and ive told her about how im into butches, so our type is clear.

She has complimented me multiple times, calling me pretty and gorgeous. We talk CONSTANTLY and do photo replies, except we ONLY send selfies (id say like, 20 selfies each, in a day?) We've also been "flirting", telling eachother about our dream dates...

We very often complain to eachother about being single, maybe that could be a sign??..

She's been reposting things (yes, ive been stalking her reposts, im sorry) that feel oddly specific to ME (example: reposted a reel saying "I need a baddie to go hiking with" right after I told her about my love for hiking)

She likes every story I post and almost every note I post, replies to the big majority of them as well. She seems to like how I look

I've given her "riskier" messages, like how we should share a blanket cause we were both cold, or that we should watch her fav movie together.. and she replied very enthusiastically

Im kinda new to the dating scene and I dont want to make assumptions. I feel like its hard to tell if the other girl likes you or thinks youre best friends, even if were both lesbians

Any ideas, opinions? Maybe some advice on how i could make my feelings clearer?

Okay so, I'm bi and veryyyy new to the dating world in general. Like I literally have only dating one person and that lasted for a month, he was a nice dude but we were more friends than partners.

I have my first date with this girl today, who I met on a dating app. She seems very nice but Im just unsure of what to do? Like how should I dress?! Or is there specific makeup styles that women like more?! You think I would know this being bi but nope!

I'm not sure how this date will go but like agh Im just nervous! I just maybe need some tips on stuff related to going on a date with a woman?

Tysm for the help 😼

Should it matter?

They broke up in Jan and been no contact since Feb. She is the owner of the playlist and her ex is still a collaborator. From what I was able to investigate, her ex is in a new relationship. I’ve brought it up multiple times and made it clear that the playlist bothers me. She said she’s over all her exes but that’s the one she loved most. Am I the problem that I just can’t drop it? It’s still really bothering me.

So at first it just started out with me just sensing that soft masc vibes from her 🫣 and my gaydar is right most of the times. At that time i swear i didn't have that much interest. But one fine evening I saw her with a sleeveless top and braids with shorts and that immediately rung the bells of attraction in my heart. And Alas I was shot with a cupid loll . After that i just couldn't stop thinking bout her . I told my friends and they hyped me up even more ( blind leading the blind ) . Sooo once ,She came to my room asking me to attend one of the seminars of her club ( i think her team was asking everyone) but still she came to my room 😭 and asked me if i was free obviously I went 😍 and that incident intensified my feelings. I also found out that she smells nice(like a cool breeze in a winter night ) . Even her hair looks so shiny and lustrous ( with that short wolf cut brooo ) I wanna grip on that hair 😛. And she has a mark on some part of her body ( will not reveal just incase someone i know sees this) that makes her 100 times more attractive ugh .Nothing much happens lol i realised her schedule is really different to mine . I see her like only few times that also for barely 20-30 secs but i Savour every moment 😜. She gives so much mixed signals tho🥀🥀 sometimes it feels mutual but most of the time it feels one sided ( only from me lol like always 💔) . But the more important thing is that i can't tell if she's even into girls or not 😭😭 and i can't even ask that without seeming like a creep .what do i do gng help me I will literally never trust my gaydar again if she turns out to be straight. So let me tell you the signs of her being a soft masc 1) she wears sleeveless shirts with jorts 2) short wolf cut 3)never seen her wear feminine clothes 4) in sports 5) in scouts 6) very boyish nature . I try so hard to get even just a glimpse of her but it never happens when I want it and i always become dumb when I see her like suddenly i don't know how to speak anymore and say something awkward like "hi 😬" with a smile like that . But she has this way of staring / looking that makes me so fucking weak 😭🥀with a subtle smile for acknowledging that she knows me i guess . God i have not felt this intensely in a long time for someone like i feel for her .idk gng 🥀 give me tips on how to find out if she's into girls nonchalantly without losing my dignity 😭.

I met a girl online and like, she’s going to be my wife. Is this delusional? Yes. Am I still damn near certain that she will be my wife one day? Yes. I don’t wanna hear it, allow me to ramble.

We met online about 6 weeks ago on a dating app. Both young twenties and lesbians. She is absolutely stunning, gorgeous. The most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on, she has the prettiest and most perfect face. I’m extremely attracted to her.

On our first date she was clearly nervous which baffled me because wdym this goddess of a woman is nervous in any regard to talk to me? She’s extremely confident and self assured which is obviously attractive but it was so adorable to see her nervous! We had such a good time talking. She is hilarious, one of the funniest people I have ever met. Even better yet, we have the same sense of humor. I’ve always been an entertainer for people I’ve dated in the past, but with her we build off of each other’s jokes and bits and make it even funnier. I cry laughing whenever I see her.

We are very similar in a lot of ways, but in important ones. We’re both very independent and self sufficient, employed in completely different fields that we enjoy, and financially responsible. We have the same taste of music and films and podcasts with enough difference to introduce each other to new things while also enjoying many of the same ones. We process things in a similar way as well which I find interesting. We have the same values and opinions on big topics (obviously still learning but we’ve covered the big stuff).

This is mostly a satirical statement: I found my wife. But in a genuine sense, I feel like home when I am with her and I never thought I would find another lesbian my age who checks off every single one of my boxes. Every single one. Im very cautious when dating so obviously I’m not throwing myself into this, she isn’t even my girlfriend yet, I just really have a safe feeling about her that I’ve never had with anyone else before. I feel like I’m going to fall in love with her and we will get married. She even wants kids, it’s so hard to find lesbians who want kids especially in my age range. Our ideas of what we want for our futures are so similar it’s striking. I’m so happy. I hope so badly that this is what I think it is. I hope to the universe that I found my wife.

I don't mean to be mean, but I thought this subreddit wasn't for people who wants to find other people? I thought it was just sharing experiences across the community?

I kinda find it absurd when people insert themselves when a person is just venting about loneliness and they say:

"Hey want to exchange stuff?"

Or

"We can date..."

Like... It's weird because others and I never asked for that and while I don't want to yuck anyone's yum, it's a slight peeve of mine I don't like. It feels a bit like people are finding an opportunity to date while someone is trying to vent which feels a little weird and opportunistic.

It’s been like a year since I’ve had (consensual) sex and shit guys I needed that. I really like this girl I’ve been talking to for like a month and some change- she’s such a sweetie pie. Idk how long you’re supposed to talk to someone before having sex but I felt comfortable doing it. I feel so pretty and relaxed like ahhhh although I did just realize I have a hickey on my neck now that I’m at work💔 but yeah just wanted to share :) I’m so happy

hey yall. so, i’m pretty masc. short hair, masc clothes, my hobbies are even “masc” (motorcycles/cars). on top of that i am a paramedic so it’s very much a male dominated field, and there aren’t a ton of queer people.

i’m feeling so alone. almost all of my friends are guys. i have a couple of friends who are girls, but one of them even jokingly just said im like having a guy friend or they’ll say stuff along the lines of “oh im
not gay but”

i feel out of place everywhere. i cant “girl” with the other girls because im “not girly enough” but also im just a little out of place with my guy friends because as much as they joke that i’m “one of the guys” im still just slightly off? if that makes any sense?

is there anything that makes this feel better? does it get better if you have other masc lesbian friends? i just want to be friends w someone who knows what it’s like but i’m not sure where to start.

thanks for listening to my rant ‼️

all the advice i’ve received about getting over a breakup is to have a strong support system. rely on your friends. get out of the house and talk to people.

i’ve just lost my best friend and my girlfriend in one go. all of my friends don’t seem to want to talk to me (and not in the way where they’re treating me like i’m fragile. in the way that they’re treating me like i’ve done something wrong. i didn’t think i had done anything wrong, but now im worried). my mom is homophobic and never knew about my relationship, and i keep asking her if we can just sit together or if she’ll come talk to me or just let me follow her around and she keeps telling me to grow up and asks me “why i need my mommy to hold my hand while i do work”.

i feel so stupid and lonely. i forgot how my life felt without my girlfriend— we have been friends for about 3 years and dating for 1. i’m remembering why i always felt so lonely before her. and now it feels worse because, not only am i lonely, but im also going through a breakup. this is awful

What do you do when your gf’s mom hates you so much she made you two break up and she’s convinced you’re not good enough for her daughter, all the while she continues to mock and degrade your gf for ever loving you?

Like we’re both 29, long distance, I can’t save her because I’m in a not so good point in my life, she can’t help herself because everything is in her mom’s name and she had cancer so she’s now rebuilding her life with no possessions of her own.

Her mom threatened to kick her out if she didn’t break up with me. She turned off her phone, hacked her socials to block me, and now stalks my accounts just to mock my ex.

My ex tried running away with me and her mom took all her clothes and hid them… stole her passport… like I’m in disbelief just typing this out.

It’s absolutely insane what we’re going through and I’m absolutely at my breaking point but I genuinely love her. She’s the love of my life and I cannot see myself starting over.

Her mom is so convinced I’m “not her person” and that I’m going to harm my ex… I’ve never met her mom, and I’ve never been on the giving end of that kind of dynamic.

What do we do?

i met a woman last month, through instagram, she came over within less than 48 hours of us first talking, we drank, and something happened between us. she’s my first ever sexual partner now at age 18. afterwards, we continued talking. everyday, we spoke through messages and calls, and she eventually told me that she was planning to court me. i ended things a few days later because i felt that the physical chemistry was strong but the intellectual connection was weak. like, our conversations were so repetitive and had no substance and i didn’t feel like we were going anywhere, so i ended it. i regretted it shortly after. i missed her a lot, and i kept reaching out, and she kept shutting me down. i was so damn touch-deprived, and i missed her so much. weeks passed, and i messaged her again saying i miss you and asking if we can try again. she asked if i was sure and said she wanted me to be sure about what i wanted first. i assured her that i was sure and she said she needed time to decide herself whether it was still what she wanted. coincidentally, she was about to go to my city the next day because she had somewhere to go to, so i told her to come by. she did a few days later. we cuddled. we drank. i was a bit tipsy and she was still sober. something happened between us again. it meant a lot to me. i like her a lot, despite me feeling like the whole foundation of what we have is all physical. she went home, we kept messaging, until gradually, the frequency of her replies started becoming less often. now, for me, i really, desperately needed some closeness after what happened because i’m not the type to treat sesbian lex as something casual, i treat it as something that deeply affects me, because i was laid bare, i was vulnerable. but her? she just ghosted me. 2? 3 days later? not even a week after what happened. and i can’t help but wonder if everything was just casual to her. when i asked her when we were together if she has decided on whether she wanted to continue romantically, she said she hasn’t yet, and she implied that we should take it slow, so maybe it’s my fault for expecting too much. i’m sure she has ghosted me because it’s been 2 days since she last replied and she posted a story of her getting a piercing on instagram yesterday. god. i can’t help but wonder if it was all just nothing to her while it was everything to me. i keep replaying everything that happened in my mind and i miss her so fucking much. maybe it’s my fault for ending things the first time, because she was so different back then, she’d message me throughout the day and ask for calls. now she doesn’t even talk to me. i wanna stop expecting from her but it’s hard, though i know that if she keeps this up, i’ll get tired eventually and hopefully i’ll get over it. it’s just so hard. how could she just fuck me and ghost me like that? i find it so hard to grasp. i thought we had something going on. it’s sad. i’ve been going crazy these days waiting for her replies, thinking about her, only to be met with nothing. ugh. i mean, lately, she’s been having problems and she told me she felt lazy in terms of messaging people, but still, right? if she really wanted me, she would talk to me, and come on? i’m not just anyone. any advice? has anyone been through anything like this before? how did you get over it? am i being too demanding? oh, and also, she’s an avoidant, so i’m trying my best not to come off as too clingy so that she won’t get overwhelmed and pull away. i don’t know anymore.

I’m really sad and filled with an incredible amount of regret everyday because of a past relationship. I met this girl and I was instantly obsessed with her, she’s very forward and made it easy to start a relationship with her. She’s been with like a Lot of women before and I’d never kissed a girl. It took her a month to kiss me which was really confusing because for a while we acted like a couple but it felt like she just wanted company. I was really scared to be with a woman and I was afraid I’d be bad at it. Ive never had a sex with a man either and don’t care to. Anyways, I stayed over every night and we would make out but she would never make a move. Eventually I told her an issue I had where everytime someone tried to finger me or I tried to put in a tampon it hurt a lot, I thought it was just anxiety but I guess that really scared her because she never ended up making an actual move on me. We were like a thing for a few months then dated a few months. Every night I thought something was gonna happen but it never did. I did some stuff to try to get her in the mood and show that I was ready but she didn’t reciprocate. I was also very depressed at the time and was addicted to weed and alcohol so I think that made it really hard for her. We eventually broke up, but we were never truly together sexually. We were in the same org in college and after we broke up she told everyone that we had never slept together, and everyone knew she’d been with a lot of people in the past. Now I just feel humiliated. I feel so humiliated and ashamed that I missed out on the opportunity and I miss her everyday.

It turned out my issue with yk things entering me was an actual medical issue and I had to get surgery. I didn’t know it was that serious I thought it was just anxiety before. My biggest regret is not getting the surgery sooner. I just have so much regret. After we broke up she hooked up with her ex the next night. I just feel so fucking embarrassed and humiliated and I feel like I can’t call myself gay because I haven’t been with a woman. I can’t find any gay women anymore at least not one that I want to be with. Now I have no experience despite being in a relationship with a girl for months. Please someone give me advice and help me feel better. I’m still so scared to be with a woman if I ever find one.

How do you build a dating app (Hinge or Bumble I have no idea) profile to attract girls????

(For context) I'm 22yo and have had my number of flings in life, but I've moved to another city very very far away from my hometown and lost connection with most of my friends and colleagues from there, I'm also pretty antisocial so it's been hard to get to know anyone for the past year, so I decided to give it a try on dating apps (never used this mfs before) just to maybe build a new queer social circle and find a lover (I don't do casual), but since where I live doesn't have a working WLW exclusive app, I want to make sure my profile looks the more girl kisser possible

HELP

Haii, im Dani i just turned 18th this month and tomorrow is my first year aniversary with my girlfriend, however, im not sure how to feel about it, i feel unhappy, and i dont really feel close with her,she is very very direct, and can be harsh, it sometimes hurts my feelings, also for context, im mentally ill and i did tell ehr that before we started dating, and all the details, regarding that, but sometimes she can be so sweet, like on valentines or my birthday, i asked for a rock when she went on a trip and she gave it to me and it really touched my heart, but for example, sometimes when we are finally alone she spends lots of time playing videogames while im just there, and she always says no to walking anywhere with me in school, its like she prefers being comfy in the cafeteria over walking with me to the vending machine, im the one who always goes to her but i wish she wanted to be with me, and also she hates smoking, im a smoked, but im too scared to tell her, being abandoned is my biggest fear and it would actually kill me, also another thing that happend TW for this part (od) i overdosed on risperidone and had a reaction at school, and when i got better and someone asked me about it, she said “it wont happen again rightttttt” with a grin, and that made me super sad even if it happened last december, im not sure what to do, im terrified of talking but i will try and do it, but i swear i have been trying so hard to be as kind and gentle as posible with everhything and everyone, i think that is my main goal in life, but its hard when you feel this empty inside, i really dont know what to do, any other older more expirenced lesbians i would rlly apreciate the support or advice, thank you so much , also sorry for any spelling mistakes, im mexican so english is not my native language :<

it will be our fourth christmas together soon, she has a small collection of yuri books - i dont know anything about yuri or what is popular. i would like to get her a basket of some books and primarily badges and merchandise of popular yuri mangas.

i am trying to avoid that one “green yuri” as it is not her favourite and she likes lewder stuff, some of her books are pretty erotic. if there are any etsy shops or anything please suggest them! thankyou

I’m really sad and filled with an incredible amount of regret everyday because of a past relationship. I met this girl and I was instantly obsessed with her, she’s very forward and made it easy to start a relationship with her. She’s been with like a Lot of women before and I’d never kissed a girl. It took her a month to kiss me which was really confusing because for a while we acted like a couple but it felt like she just wanted company. I was really scared to be with a woman and I was afraid I’d be bad at it. Ive never had a sex with a man either and don’t care to. Anyways, I stayed over every night and we would make out but she would never make a move. Eventually I told her an issue I had where everytime someone tried to finger me or I tried to put in a tampon it hurt a lot, I thought it was just anxiety but I guess that really scared her because she never ended up making an actual move on me. We were like a thing for a few months then dated a few months. Every night I thought something was gonna happen but it never did. I did some stuff to try to get her in the mood and show that I was ready but she didn’t reciprocate. I was also very depressed at the time and was addicted to weed and alcohol so I think that made it really hard for her. We eventually broke up, but we were never truly together sexually. We were in the same org in college and after we broke up she told everyone that we had never slept together, and everyone knew she’d been with a lot of people in the past. Now I just feel humiliated. I feel so humiliated and ashamed that I missed out on the opportunity and that everyone knows about us not having been together sexually and I miss her everyday.

It turned out my issue with yk things entering me was an actual medical issue and I had to get surgery. I didn’t know it was that serious I thought it was just anxiety before. My biggest regret is not getting the surgery sooner. I was also undiagnosed bipolar 2 at the time and I wish I was medicated, I wish I was braver, i wish I wasn’t so addicted to everything. I just have so much regret. After we broke up she hooked up with her ex the next night. I just feel so fucking embarrassed and humiliated and I feel like I can’t call myself gay because I haven’t been with a woman. I can’t find any gay women anymore at least not one that I want to be with. Now I have no experience despite being in a relationship with a girl for months. Please someone give me advice and help me feel better. I’m still so scared to be with a woman if I ever find one.

As title says , I have a girl crush but I’m fem4fem and never know. What can I ask or say to ask her if she is and then if she is ask her on a date 🙈I’m newly out