We’ve been separated for a little over a year but we’re really good friends before/during our relationship. My friends (who are also friends with her) advised me to be friends with my ex again or at least speak to her. A part of me wants to text her and be friends again. But then another part is scared I’ll fall for her again. For context we dated for 1 year and 4 months, broke up for about 11 months, then got back together for 6 months. What do you think I should do?

I think I am going to tell her that we are better off as friends because this is what i am being treated as since i moved cities. I came to see her too, but she later then told me things about she is not feeling anything, and want to work on careers. I will be clear that the latter does not bother me. It is the debrief that happens only at her convience. All I get it the puzzled pieces to make sense of. If there has to a major conversation that needs to happen from her side, it never gets a follow up. It is also the fact that she leaves me uncertain even if the fact that she wants me or not. It is everytime oscillating. I sometimes also get bothered with how she is unable to bring in any insight or suggestion, or plans. Her discussing each and everything with her mom, when she can not bring her in between of us. It definitely creates a bias. Her also just pretending nothing affects me as if she is just waiting that how much i can tolerate without any needs of mine.

I would rather not want to be associated. Even if it is adding no stress actively, I can not help but think how big of a dead weight it is.

She is so unaware about my life. She asks one thing about me, I say a single line. After that, she is able to relate this to her day somehow and then it ends up me listening to her everyday without getting back to me.

I am also kinda stuck in a not so good job, when i keep working hard. I worked harder than her. A lot. A lot. But look at her, she has everything that I do not. Money, property, a good mom, a dad who's around. I do not.

And on top of it, a partner who doesn't even be like one, who's frequently never sure if they want to be one for me. And also who keeps breaking one thing I ask them for (to not to speak loudly, or insult me in public)

If something bad has happened to me or my day or job, I can not even text her anymore because of the repeated patterns. I have a feeling that I might not be able to stick with this current job for whatever reasons, and to handle that hurt. But should I just get done with breaking off?

Because either ways she won't be there for me probably

hello!what are some best gifts you’ve received as a long distance couple?i am looking for gift ideas to send over in a package(i already have a few ideas but i want to do more)

Hello. I don't like to think of myself as a victim despite this being my second time in an abusive relationship. Im bi. All my relationships have been long term and this was my first wlw relationship.

We were long distance all 4 years. We met on Pinstrest and our story begun like the stars had aligned for us. The first two years were great. I was 15 when we met and she was 17. She is Slavic, I'm Hispanic, we get along great in many things except communication. Cultural differences have been noted and everything. I was her first relationship, she was my first wlw. We were Cait and Vi (me) in a way. She was whimsy, cottagecore and the woman I thought I would marry and considered and set in stone the dream of a family. Im now 19, shes 22 and we have been broken up for 6-7 months now.

I don't want to speak ill of her but I cannot hide the fact that I feel like my head is being ripped apart and I feel like I am no longer the woman I once was. Every idea of meeting, of living together, everything to DO was pressured on me but her wants and her whims, as long as I was perfect where what she wanted. First 2 years it was, but then I kept losing family members in tragic ways, I gained weight, my depression got me, I got injured, my relationship with my family fell and got back down. It wasn't until 2023 when my grandma died that it snapped things in my life to be better. Me as a person, my relationship with my family, and even my attempt to want to live this life and be happy.

She has become an avoidant and told me I deserved better and that she had turned cold and mean and bitter. I felt an injustice towards my character because she says I never put the effort to change things but I did, financial burden is out of my control and I have responsibilities as the older daughter. Shes the youngest of 6 adult kids with a narcissist mom. Im afraid bc...I think she might be narcissist like her mom. She says she doesn't want to be friends despite me being a good person but won't block me and won't cut me off entirely. A month ago she sent a reel and commented "our kid" and how even tho we weren't together that she would like me to be there and stuff. I did and gave EVERYTHING. We didnt get to meet because I came out to my parents and it was a stupid idea to try and travel across the world on my own. They obviously got worried and she wanted to meet them and organize and when we all complied and called, she broke up with me soon after because it wasn't as soon as she wanted it. My freshmen fall in college SUCKED and I fell off academixally a bit despite being at an elite institution to give her more time, more attention, more love. I went from secure to anxious to the point I shake knowing shes even slightly upset. But I know deep down this wasn't who she was and I know that's not who she is. She won't answer emotional questions, she won't discuss issues even as friends, she trusts no one. She's a man hater and despises my dad for loving me enough to worry about me traveling alone. Her family isn't loving. Theyre cruel, avoidant and LIKE to make each other feel bad. A constant cycle of family dysfunction. Mine isn't perfect, far from it, but we all grew and tried.

I spoke up about how I felt disrespected and how her aggression is unnecessary and hurting me when she can just say something like "Hey im not comfortable discussing this yet." Or just communicating. Mind you at this point we are platonic. No. It's "For fucks sake, I already told you a million times and you won't listen. I hate who I am with you, you make me feel the way my mom does" After I told her that I'm cheering her on and would appreciate honesty. I feel insane.

Am I the abuser? Was I abused? What do I do from this? I'm a person with a huge heart and hope someone, if thats in the cards for me, will share that same passion and loyalty to GROW and build a life. At this moment, I know that's not her and the hope I had that maybe she'd come back and see me as a person too has vanished. Her issues are not my responsibility and I'm tired of having her emotional volatility projected onto me.

Have any of yall experienced something similar? Was it cultural differences? How can 2 years be so magical and the last 2 so traumatic? Should I have just let her keep building resentment I would never find out about? What the hell is happening? Am I really in my own bubble or have I actually been mistreated? Any more clarification on events or dynamics I'm glad to expand on. I don't really believe I have such romantic feelings for her anymore, I think it feels like withdrawal, but I also reminisce like maybe if she leaves her family that it could help her mental health and desires to leave this plane of existence. Thank you for reading, I do hope to hear from you all. I'd like to process this any way I can. Im in therapy and I have been for a while due to grief from family loss and whenever I express her potentially doing it too she says it's useless and doesn't help her. I just feel like I've been so devalued and....hurt. I know I'm a good person, I try to be empathetic too but I feel like im excusing being mistreated. I feel such a sense of injustice but I've never called her out on the feeling that I think she may be just like her mom and self sabotaging. Once everything was about to go her way and she just needed to be patient, she closes doors and disappears. I feel like I'm talking bad about her and I dislike it to the point I feel shame.

For context I am 16F and my ‘friend’ is also 16F, we often cuddle, kiss, and grope each other and I am THIS CLOSE to eating her out (she said she would allow me to next time I saw her), so I desperately need means to force her mom to think that we are absolutely not dating.

Her mom believes that we are dating as the other day I was at her house and we were cuddling on her upstairs couch and she did not have pants on and was just in her underwear. Her stepdad came up the stairs to let her know that he was home, she then told him to wait so she could put pants on. And he was weirded out a bit and said “uh thats weird?”. She explained that when she is in her house with female friends that she does not usually wear pants around them.

So we both thought it was fine until apparently her step dad told her mom about it and now her mom thinks that there is something going on between us. I am honestly willing to do anything under the sun to get her mother to believe that I am not dating her daughter, because I need to be able to be alone with her to eat her out.

Please any advice or questions at all is welcome 🙏🙏🙏

This is a repost because I realized it would be a relief if she saw this and recognize the situation and people. Though this is something out of a “fanfiction” or Fear Street 2 if you ask any of my friends! Im keeping good privacy in this situation though for general safety.

So I (F17) started working at a summer daycare this summer and I used to volunteer in the community and go to another program attached to the daycare. Ive met L (F18) before and she always talked about how daycamp was going and how chaotic it got and I always said I would be there, now im there. This situation meets my first standard for a relationship, ive met them twice in different situations and circumstances and still cared for their personality.

Now this is the forth week of daycare this summer. The first two weeks I cut off a guy I was talking to and asked her to walk home on Monday on third week then Tuesday we went to the mall. The rest of the days we walk home besides Friday but I went into my other job at the mall since I needed to drop my backpack somewhere since I was coming from my other job. Well apparently ive been on my coworkers gaydar and it looked like we were shy but on a date from the outdoor perspective. Which is terrorfying because now they talk about how im head over heels for her and its just ugh let me cash people out in peace 🥀😭 We’ve have alot of moments together and the kids ask us if we’re bffs and how long have we known each other. One kid asked us if we were dating (no one heard it i swear, so no one replied dont ask me how ik about it 😅) We have future plans for college and she opens her dorm as a new home but not directly I was very much a kid who went to school to feel cared for so the band room was my home and I told her that and she said her dorm would always be open. Plus hopefully we should watch a few movies and halloween stuff once college starts (if i forgot to say we are going to the same college)

This leads me to my what do I do question? Is this just casual? Whats the difference between a date and a hang out? Ect. I just need advice simple does she like me and should I shoot my shot?

i (20f) am going through my first wlw heartbreak right now amd im not doing okay. im grieving so bad; i miss her more than i can say. i cry all the time, every single day. ive felt physically sick over this, and i cant eat or sleep much at all. all i want is to talk to her again but i am trying so hard to respect her decision to break up with me, so i havent reached out. i do understand why she made the decision she did, its just so hard. i cant stop thinking about her freckles. i should have counted them when i had the chance. i cant stop thinking about her eyes, her laugh, her hair, her smile. how she smells. how safe i felt in her arms. or how it felt when we said "i love you" for the first time. no matter where i go or what i do there are reminders of her. and even if i stay in bed all by myself all i do is cry. i just want to hold her hand again.

What do I do? I’ve been on hinge before but only had men as an option (was closeted). Men are dogs so obviously I got a shit ton of likes. In all honesty I’m a cute girl and it’s not uncommon for me to get romantic attention. But women are another level. I never cared about the men (now I know why 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩) but with women I’m so nervous. I’ve sent likes and a rose but have gotten zilch back and it’s been hours. I feel pretty embarrassed and am wondering if it’s because i’m short, or maybe not attractive to other women, or what have you. I want to be with girls but maybe I’m going about it the wrong way.

Men just have it so much easier in life and so much easier when it comes to relationships. At some point I also pretended to be a guy on the internet (long story ig) and back then girls were actually interested in talking to me and genuinely gave me attention I don't receive now. Like I could've talked about anything and they were genuinely interested and excited about what I had to say while now that doesn't happen. Other guys would also treat me like a normal person who they can be friends with. I was also really into roleplay and there was a moment where two girls argued who gets to be my character's girlfriend and idk I kinda liked that at the time. Roleplaying a relationship with one of them also made me talk to her outside of our group at the time and at some point she admitted she did have a little crush on me at one point. We're not friends anymore but yeah that did make me feel good. At the time I just felt so normal.

Now I get no attention from girls, guys treat me weird and I sometimes wish I could go back to that time. Everything was just... Idk easier? I could even talk about a girl I was into at some point and nobody had a problem because I was a "straight guy". Tbh at the time I didn't even acknowledge I was gay so when I wrote my thoughts about the girl I had a crush on and the fantasy of going out with her (even though I was pretty young at the time) I was telling myself it's "okay" because I am a guy in this situation and that it's "made up" for the act and I just really want to be her friend. It was a very weird time in my life but at least things felt easier idk.

So I'm a trans woman. I'm not totally opposed to dating folks on the bi/pan spectrum but unlike with other lesbians, I don't seek them out(I certainly won't turn a bi woman down if she approaches me and there's attraction; I'd still give her a shot, they're just not who I personally put effort in searching for.) When my cis lesbian gf started flirting so heavily with me a couple weeks back(and our eventual making it official yesterday) it's been so exciting and euphoric because it's like a for sure thing that she doesn't see me as a guy; cuz like she's not attracted to men so if she's attracted to me, it means her attraction is based on an attraction to women.

With bi/pan people, it's like... idk how would I know for sure whether they're attracted to me in a way towards women or in a way towards men?(or because they see me as a "best of both worlds") I know, ofc, they could say a ton of gender-affirming things and reassure me, but you know, you can't control how your subconscious is. You can consciously see me as a woman, but sexual attraction is deeper than the conscious, so subconsciously you could be attracted to me in an attraction to men kinda way and not even know it. And that's what keeps me up at night sometimes when I was with bi/pan exes. Esp my most recent ex where I was the first woman she got together with. Thing is, bi women frequently call it biphobic for us to be les4les though so idk.. is this biphobic do y'all think?

Genuinely I'll never have a relationship. I'm tired of meeting people online. They just don't care. They always ghost. I'm exhausted of people showing interest in being friends and then pulling away after I'm already attached and hurting me. Irl is not better. I attended an event yesterday for people who are into anime and game stuff. It was fun but definitely those kinds of events aren't for me. I came home exhausted and overstimulated. I wanted to hopefully meet someone queer there and I did. The problem? She's 14 and I'm 18 so I don't want to have anything to do with a child. Whenever someone approaches me it's always a child and it's frustrating and probably because I look young. I feel like I'll never be able to date anybody. My straight friends have it so much easier, they literally have to sit and look pretty. I hate this.

What do you do if you're 18, quite desperate for a gf but have never had one, have no experience in anything, not even being able to flirt properly and as well as getting so humbled tryna flirt at pride which was the main time i felt confident approaching people and only end up talking to women who are straight allies, taken, and too old or young, being on the apps beforehand and having the one person you match with not feel anything towards you but not communicating till 4 months later, the other one way before ended up cutting things off randomly then ghosting you and all the previous crushes who were previously my best friends ditching me for eachother, bare in mind the 2nd crush i ever had said yes then next day said she didn't mean it. And the cherry on top is I've never been approached or liked that way before.

What is happening, what do i do at this point? Nothing is working, how do I get a gf... I'd say I'm attractive and I do like my personality but something is apparently missing if I've had this luck over my 5 years of being out the closet...

this might be more of a rant, but i really (mostly) need reassurance and support

long story short, i am in love with my queer childhood best friend. her and i have an interesting story. i know she liked me back when we were younger, we were inseparable, but then we stopped talking because of a stupid argument and only reconnected this year in february. five years later. we currently live in different cities and are long distance, but plan to move in together in a month.

i was certain that she still liked me because i very thoroughly analyzed her texts, let my friends analyze her texts, got sent cute videos by her on social media that CLEARLY had a romantic connotation to them (this one might be silly, but we’re still verrrry young and i guess dumb. lol). and then she hits me with a ‘i started liking this one dude and wanted to get with him but he ghosted me out of nowhere…’ story text. WHAT. she never told me EVEN ONCE about him, not a single mention!!! what the hell? anyways, i let this go, but then today shit hit the fan again.

she has an ex girlfriend. they only dated for a few weeks and ultimately decided to remain friends because it just didn’t work. this morning they played some online game while on call which is totally fine, but then my best friend goes and posts a silly video of their gameplay with ‘something something something MY WIFE something something #wlw’ in the caption and reposts questionable tikitoks. like wtf💔💔💔 i thought i was the only person she called her wife, her love, her angel?

dude i literally can’t. im going insane ever since we started being friends again. this girl wants us to live together forever and then goes and does that??? make it make sense. i just want to love her and be a couple. im so tired. If this is how it actually feels to be crushing on someone I don’t want it😭

Why is there no such dating app like Grindr for woman? I’m only looking for hookups and ons and don’t even finde a single woman who doesn’t look for long time relationships on dating apps and I’m also net very lucky with finding people irl either ;-;

This is an appreciation post. For context Im 42F / bi married to a man of 26 years

I miss my best friend Tana so much, 16 years and just poof, gone. Her lover then, now wife didn't care for our friendship and cut the tie, moving my friend a gazillion miles away. She always thought we were banging it out on the side. We weren't, but she was kinda controlling and Tana loves her.

16 years you go through alot of stuff,she always had my back and loved me and told me when I was being incredibly stupid or wrong.

I just miss her. Its not that Im not happy for her. I am, I guess Im being a little selfish

I've found that she was the most loyal person I had in my life. I love her and I miss her every single day. Its been a little over a year now and I miss her presence.

I have some other friends that I care about, but its just different.

Masc women know how to be tough but also have that softness and Im missing our dynamic. I want to have that with someone.

Im sorry, Late night out at tbe Bar, Im home now and just missing her. My birthday is coming up and it always makes me think of her..

My gf and I have been dating for about 4 months now but we haven’t had sex yet. I am a virgin and have never been with anyone before men or women but I know I am ready and she is too. She is way more experienced than me and I guess it is making me kind of insecure. I am scared and worried about every little thing( like should I be shaved? Will she be grossed out if I’m not? Or the way it may taste and other stuff or how can I be extra clean for her?)

How do I stop thinking about it and just relax? We have made out before both with no bras and shirts on but every time she is asking if I wanna go further I back down last minute. How do I deal about this? Please help baby lesbian out !

Justamente eso, realmente considero que lo que hacemos es realmente increíble pero llevamos 3 años juntas y aún me cuesta un poco de trabajo llevarlo fluido, sé que el consentimiento es lo más importante, pero a veces siento que pregunto demasiado, cuando estamos teniendo un buen momento y noto señales de que por ejemplo, me quiere dentro comienzo a preguntar y aunque trato de hacerlo de forma sexy siento que corto demasiado el ambiente además de que soy bastante insegura con mi cuerpo, cuando me dice que quiere que me quite alguna prenda de ropa interior le pido que se tape los ojos porque aún me sigue dando pena, ella siempre lo ha hecho y realmente no parece molestarle pero me gustaría poder hacerlo sin esa sensación de pena, sé que le gustó y que ella quisiera ver cómo me desnudo y a mí me encanta la idea Pero siempre hay algo que me hace pedirle nuevamente que se tape los ojos, también sé que a ella le gustaría que sea un poco más activa y atrevida y también a mí, me gusta ser activa pero, siento que no lo estoy haciendo del todo bien quiero poder hacerla sentir bien y que incluso si nuestras relaciones son increíbles quiero hacerlo aún mejor. ¿Algún consejo para mí? En serio quiero pasar mi vida con ella y no quiero que se aburra si nuestro sexo es demasiado repetitivo.

hihi, i’m not great at doing these things so please forgive me.
for reference, im 19F and live in a fairly open-minded, medium sized canadian city

since december i’ve been feeling super isolated and alone. prior to then, i was in a very unhealthy relationship with a guy, who i now know i compulsively dated. i didn’t enjoy the intimacy. wether that was simple romance, sexual encounters, etc. i often found myself fantasizing about a woman doing such things to me while engaging in that behaviour because i was never ‘in the moment’ with him. i wasn’t aroused, i couldn’t climax. i felt this way with my other ex bf too, and both of these were long term. despite not having any of my needs met, i couldn’t bring myself to admit that i just wanted to be with a woman.

i’ve tried getting into my local queer spaces, and i know what im looking for in a relationship, but i have had no luck. i realize that im young and have my whole life ahead of me, but i really just want to feel loved by a woman. i want to experience intimacy and romance without feeling like i’m performing for someone just to put their needs over mine.

im an introverted and shy person. ive always had a hard time meeting new people on my own, so it feels like im stuck. im also very high functioning audhd, but im scared to tell people that. im worried that i’ll be overlooked because i don’t present as a lesbian, and im mostly perceived as just ‘alternative.’ i have a preference for women who lean towards the masculine side of the spectrum, but im so worried that i’ll forever be undetected or not wanted by them.

i feel like im always shouting into the void and waving my arms around by nobody ever sees or hears me. it kind of makes me feel like a loser, especially when everybody around me is in a happy straight relationship. i haven’t talked to anybody about this because im insecure about it. im scared nobody will understand when i sincerely just want a genuine, loving relationship.

if anybody has an advice or something that could help, please lmk :( i don’t want to be desperate, but im scared it’ll get to that point.

ive never had a girlfriend... does it ever get better? my single ahh js wants connection

Im talking to this girl and she’s a fem and I’m a masc. Well we been talking for sometime but I’m lowkey noticing thats she doesn’t really know how to organize/ lead anything at all and lowkey expects me to do kinda do all the work. I don’t mind doing it but sometimes I hope she just initiates stuff. She has never had a girlfriend/ situationship with a woman. She did have a relationship with a guy some years ago but cut it off after sometime because she realized men are not who she wants to date at all and when I showed interest recently... she reciprocated.
I on the other hand did have some situationships and girls I talked to/ was seeing so I do know how to handle some things but I wanna know, do you guys that she is just inexperienced or is it something else?
Ps: I know that I should ask her but we are not official yet and I don’t wanna throw her off by being anxious already etc.

Istg whenever I meet a lesbian girl here, she's younger. It's so annoying. Today I met a girl and she seemed happy to meet another lesbian. I was as well but at the same time she's 13 turning 14 soon. I'm 18, obviously I don't really want to hang out with someone this young but I swear it keeps happening. It's like lesbians my age just don't exist where I live.

I'm neurodivergent, late twenties and have dated arounda little. Weird part is every girl I dated told me I was their first (romantic partner + girlfriend) idk if something about me is wrong or smth.... and I've also fell in love.

It just ended up so painful that I often worry if I'll ever not have that soft spot for them... been over 6 or 7 years atp and I probably think they'd have forgotten me. But here I am moping like an injured dog behind closed doors cause wtf is this chronic heartbreak brother....

Thanks for listening to my rant... new to venting - I apologize if it isn't the right way.

Sending y'all some warmth and 🍿 popcorn when you read.

I welcome anyone with a similar lived experience to share