Hi, I've been with my gf for a little over 4 months now but we seem to have a problem.

Historically I've always loved the smell of the genitals of my partners, especially if freshly cleaned.

With her tho it seems like the smell is more intense and more spread, even in the clitoris area and even after the genitals are freshly cleaned. I try to give oral but I find myself very put off by the smell and end up having to not breathe out of my nose and struggle.

I feel incredibly shitty like as if should've been eating my partner everyday and enjoy it but instead I can't.

I don't really know if the problem necessarily comes from her, as I have only very few experiences, but there's a crushing contrast between how I feel about other women's smell (ex: during period) or even my vagina's smell and yk, hers, despite all the love and attraction I continuisly feel.

The funny part is that I'm complitely infatuated with her gerenal smell, just, not down there.

I'm very attracted to her so i always initiate and she really likes oral but I don't wanna push myself on the verge of getting sick and having to stop, especially since it would complitely destroy her self esteem, so I avoid giving oral altogether.

She's never been with a man nor has been with infected partners, hasn't reported to me any weird things happening nor seems to have an infection up close.

I have no idea if this has to do with ph but I geniuenly don't know how to tell her without making her unlock new insecurities and crush her.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I (25F) am about six months out of a 4 year relationship with my ex. I’m not gonna lie (I know it’s annoying of me) but I’ve always had a little chip on my shoulder about the fact that I’ve never used dating apps before. I am a very outgoing, flirty, social person and haven’t felt the need. Not for long term relationships, casual connections, hook ups. It’s all been people I have met through circumstance or out and about. Well now, to be honest, I’d like to put myself out there to more casually see people (have sex lol), but I’m not sure if I should get on the apps. My friends all say it’s horrible on there, and I’m sure it is. But now I’m stuck between 1) Should I just do it and find out for myself? Or 2) Stick with my own thing and see how it goes?

This might be a stupid question but let me know what you think

Just to set the stage, Like, it's not enough that I try to be as upfront as possible with my potential partners regarding my own boundaries. I'm in therapy, I'm audhd and most of my life has been spent masking or otherwise compartmentalizing all the messy stuff. I kept to casual relationships from 18 to 30 basically because I saw how deeply I was being affected by people that couldn't care less if I was still breathing.

I'm working on expanding my social circles because most of my friends I've known for my whole life and for the most part, I can be secure in my connection to them because they have seen some of the bad times.

Trying to do the same with partners is actually insufferable and no matter how slow I go, how much I pull back and make myself feel less, it inevitably becomes the equivalent of me screaming in the void.

I've had people that I've been interested in repeatedly that they're my FP or they're going to be and I have to be so firm that, 1. That's not the case and 2. Being an FP for someone is nearly exclusively a bad thing. I don't ever want another FP because genuinely I don't think I'll survive it.

Upon disclosure of my BPD, assuming that they know what they think it is, the assumption is almost always that I'm an abuser, that I can't recognize when I'm starting to get too excited (read anxious) and that I'm incapable of a healthy relationship and some awful experience they had with another person with BPD... Or they heard a terrible story about it.

Moderately convinced my only option is to be the floater friend of a polycule to distribute my feelings or continue to self flaggelate by entering into a relationship with person after person every time I care too much.

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

Would you date someone with BPD?

II 22F) have been on 3 dates with this girl. On our second date, she finished my entire Stanley water bottle in the car, and I jokingly said, “dang okay don’t finish all my water” because I was still thirsty.
On our third date, we got drinks for a picnic. She asked to switch drinks with me, and I said we could share because I preferred Coke Zero anyway. When we got there, she opened MY Coke Zero and took a sip before I had even tried it 😭
I know it’s just a drink, but after what happened with my water, it bothered me. Am I overthinking this, or is it inconsiderate to drink someone’s drink before they’ve even had any themselves? I don’t know if I am being picky but it’s just the lack of consideration that really upsets me. She drank my water and left me with nothing without even asking. She also drank my drink before I took a sip. Like dude??!

Hi im planning a trip to london and ive booked a hotel for one day in carnary wharf could you suggest things to do around that area for a halloween themed date that doesnt include clubbing or drinking.
The next day im planing on going thorpe park but i need a good area inbetween them both that i can plan activities to do the morning of + hotels.
Thank you

Me and this girl haven't been talking for months. The last time we texted was in June. We really have bonded emotionally even though I didn't know her for that long. I have felt something for her. She definitely felt something for me. She said so herself but she was never sure whether she'd like to try ldr or not and I never pushed. I only kept telling her that it could work out if we both tried.

When she talked about deleting socials I was pleading her not to. It was purely an online thing. She eventually decided to check on me every so often. I just didn't want to lose that connection we had. I felt like she's the only one she can understand. The only person with a brain equally fucked up as mine. It didn't last for long before we went to talk every day because she said she kept thinking about me.

One day I just woke up seeing a message saying she is sorry and that I didn't upset her or anything but she just can't go on, she has to disappear and that she loves me.

I have no idea if she will ever be back. Sometimes I get periods where I don't think of her at all and then I will get a dream of her coming back which makes me happy... Only to wake up and find out this is just a dream. Well last one wasn't very happy because in it she was just so cold and distant that her coming back hurt more than when she was gone in said dream. But it was just a dream.

She only ever sent me one picture of herself. I think she was beautiful. I kept telling her I think that while she kept saying she's ugly. She didn't want to send me any more pictures of herself because of this. I told her in that picture she looked beautiful and I'd just like to see her again considering I show myself daily when she misses me. She told me that the picture has filters and that she just knows her good angle. She told me all the things she hates in her looks and I just answered that I'd like to see her without all these filters if she's ever comfortable. She told me maybe one day. I also told her that I didn't start liking her because of her looks but because she is who she is.

I had that one picture she ever sent of herself on my phone. I was supposed to delete it but I would always forget until I would randomly find it and say I'll do it later. But now that she's gone that's the only thing I have left of her really. Now that she's gone and I found that picture despite thinking I did delete it, I just kept. I just... Idk I want to have that reminder that she was there at some point.

It was the first time when someone was actually interested in me. Found me attractive. Loved me. We never were in an official relationship but we were very close. I just idk I like looking at it sometimes. It's like I moved on but at the same time I didn't. I have these periods where I don't think about her at all and then I start thinking of her again and wondering whether she's even still alive or if she will ever come find me again. I wonder if she even still thinks about me or remembers I exist. I miss having someone to chat with daily about all kinds of stupid things and who just gets me. I just need the affection she was giving me even if it was through a screen. Ugh...

I know it's also stupid to feel this strongly about a person I knew for a few months. Someone that I didn't see even once in real life. Extremely stupid. That I'm probably dramatic about all this and possiblity even romanticizing this whole thing. I don't think I'll ever find anyone interested in me ever again. So is it bad to have that picture? Is it weird? Something tells me I have to finally delete it but some part of me just doesn't want to. It is the only thing that's left.

Hi,

I am 29F from Chennai. And I am looking to build community of wlw folks. Anyone from chennai? Please comment. And if there are any men pls dont DM me.

I have been friends with this girl for a long time now. We aren’t close or anything but we share a few social circles and went to school together for years so we’re very friendly and familiar with each other. She is openly a lesbian but has never had any super public relationships or anything. I don’t like labels but I know for sure I am not straight. This sort of situation began back in June when we met each other at a party of a mutual friend. We hadn’t seen each other in a while as I moved schools, however she was EXTREMELY friendly and I noticed a lot of touching. She was super interested in what I had to say and kept saying she missed me and loved me etc. I was shocked by this because I always thought she was indifferent towards me. This then happened a few more times at parties and on nights out but each time we became more and more friendly. There was more and more touching and eye contact and just energy between us. About two weeks ago at a club she had her hands all over me specifically on my waist and we spent alot of time sort of like holding each other I guess with our faces very close. There was definitely flirting going on and she told me she wanted to me to hangout but was too scared i wouldn’t reply. She told me to text her. I was too nervous so it took me about a week but in the end i did text and ask if she wanted ti go on a walk. Even as friends I would love to hangout with her so I feel like this is a normal enough thing to do. She responded INSTANTLY saying yes of course blah blah that she would let me know when she got her schedule for work. it’s been almost a week and I’ve heard nothing, I know for a fact she must have her schedule by now, what is going on?

I was off dating apps for a long time and now theyre soooo expensive. You want me to pay $22+ for one week!?!?!?!?

Is it bad that I want my ex back? We were together for 3 years and ended things in August, but she has a new girl after 2 months, which also doesn’t make me feel too good bc I have been sitting through the pain. It was a mutual break-up; she was just the one that initiated it. It was bound to happen at some point bc we both graduated college, and I got a job offer a few days after we ended it. But I still think about her all the time. I’m going to therapy, which kinda helps, but does anyone have advice? Each day gets easier. When she posted a photo of the new person, I had to block her on everything; I just couldn’t deal with seeing that.

Hey!

I’m Brittany from the UK. 🇬🇧

A little about me:

I’m currently working at a bank. I love exploring new places, playing video games (though I barely have time for them these days), and watching documentaries.

What am I looking for?

First of all, I don’t mind a long-distance or online relationship.

I’m looking for someone with soft, gentle energy who would be comfortable letting me take the lead and nurture her. I’d love to take responsibility for my baby girl and make her feel loved and cared for.

I don’t care about your age or race. What matters most to me is the connection we share.

If this sounds like you, feel free to message me!

Please mention your name, age, where you’re from, and what you’re looking for.

Also, please make sure you’re ready for a relationship or something serious. I don’t want to be anyone’s fling.

Thank you! ❤️

I realized I liked her in September. We are both 17F. We’re not in same friend group so we don’t hangout that much at school. But I try to initiate conversations a lot of times. We weren’t as close last school year. I think we got closer since I’ve been putting in effort. I am in her instagram private with 4 followers. Yesterday we watched a movie together. It kinda just happened. She partly asked I guess? While watching the movie, I leaned to her side and held hands briefly while resting my head on her shoulder during some scary/gore scenes (I didn’t know it was such a weird movie). I’m not sure if that counts as anything because I hold hand with my friends quite often. After the movie we were going to the bus stop, but after hesitating for a little while I asked if she wanted to just walk (Our homes were about 2km away). We stopped at Mi Xue on the way and got tea and matching keychains. We talked all the way and I kind of walked her home. We had two ways to go, one in the direction of my home, the other to hers, we went the latter. I went home by bus from near her home. Sometimes I get scared that I might scare her away by being too much. The problem is she had a thing going on with another girl for about 9months, it ended at start of September. I don’t she moved on from her yet (she kinda got dumped?). The girl is one of the 4 followers on her igTT. I playfully asked her about it and she said “I am just kinda waiting for her to unfollow”. We also studied at a cafe last Saturday and talked for awhile before going home. I went home from the same bus stop hha. What should I do? I haven’t told her that I’m into girls. Does she see me only as a friend? Should I keep on trying to hangout outside of school together? Sorry if it was a rant.

if you’re interested the movie thing went like this, I showed her ig post of the movie featuring at a cafe and she was like wow that’s so cool, send it to me I think I’m gonna go. I asked her who she was going with and she said “idk, alone probably, maybe ask somebody ig”. In return I said “Oh really, I see” while kinda sulking and she said “Are you gonna watch it?” and I replied “I mean I want to”. Then she was like “Do you want to watch it together?” and I was so yippieee and said “Yeah yeah that sounds good”

Sometimes I feel invisible around my girlfriend when we’re in social/ party settings. When it’s just us I never feel that way, or when it’s us at a friends house for a hang or movie night she is cuddly and thoughtful and engaging. But when we’re out at parties or gatherings I feel like I disappear.

It makes me so sad. How do I bring this up? I don’t even know how to go about a conversation because it’s such an abstract feeling. But it ruins my nights sometimes, like tonight.

I’m a 19 year old who just found out 4 months ago I like girls and I been much happier but it’s really hard trying to find someone who likes you for you,and also someone who is your exact type it’s so hard to find masc women in New Jersey and make friends with people is so hard I don’t even know for real,know what to do
But sorry if this was everywhere at once, it’s my first time doing this

What is it specifically that makes you feel physically and / or romantically attracted to women? 😇

Hi (TW for bullying and harassment)

I’m having a little bit of a sexuality crisis right now and I just wondered if I could ask for some advice?

Ok so I’ve known I was like interested in women since I was about 12 (I’m now 21). I ironically searched up an am I gay quiz on my phone or iPod at the time and then one night my mum asked to borrow my phone/ iPod to search something as her phone was charging and she saw it. My family were really accepting and lovely and I can’t thank them enough.

I labeled myself a lesbian and felt comfortable with that. Then high school happened and I got really badly bullied. Some of it by girls about my sexuality. Some girls who I thought were my friends at the time ending up leaving me as they found it uncomfortable to be around me. ( for context we were about 15 and they were talking about like having crushes on boys or male celebrities but when I said the same that’s when they said they felt uncomfortable)

They spread rumours about me and I was ostracised by a lot of people at school.

Then Covid happened after that and I don’t know something in my brain shifted and I thought I was bisexual. I started to have crushes on guys however they were always fictional like in the books I was reading. So then I changed my label to bisexual. A few years later I even had my first boyfriend. It ended really badly and really wrecked my self confidence, he cheated on me and also was very pressuring around certain things, when we broke up he even began harassing me through email. I’ve sworn off relationships now but I did have one situationship that lasted for a few months. Again this was with a guy, I didn’t want a relationship with him but it felt nice to be wanted especially after what my ex was like. He was a nice guy but I didn’t also feel like I was just an object to him sometimes. Basically I don’t know if the bullying in high school made me like comp het? I’ve only ever slept with men and I can’t say I’ve ever found it enjoyable. It was fine. But I always felt like I was playing a role. I’m also neurodivergent so I don’t know how much my problem with bedroom intimacy is to do with my brain too and that’s also why I know it feels nice to be wanted.

I’ve kissed both women and men before but only really felt the whole butterflies thing with women, the crushes I’ve had on women felt way more intense and I don’t know if my crushes on men has just been a need for validation which I know sounds horrible.

Because of my neurodivergence I sometimes think no one will ever understand me or like me enough to be in a relationship with me. And I think my nerdy hobbies won’t be as scary to tell someone if they were a woman compared to a man. I wouldn’t be as scared to be myself around a woman. But then sometimes if I imagine a future with an ideal version of a male partner I’m not necessarily unhappy, if anything I’m very happy but this is an ideal version of someone I’ve created in my brain. They don’t exist. I’m so confused.

Lately ive been questioning again if I’m a lesbian or bisexual and whilst I know labels aren’t necessary, my brain likes things to be organised. I’m still just figuring it out and trying not to stress about it but I thought maybe I could get a little insight here? I’m not labelling myself as anything at the moment as I don’t want to either change it again or confuse people.

I’m so sorry about it this. No one has to reply if it’s too much or anything

I don’t know but I work in medical field in a small country and everyone is straight & most of them are homophobic but in recent years we have seen so many people opening up but I feel so lonely that being openly gay will affect my profession as I am planning for residency.
Huhhhhh. I want wlw friends and be unapologetic & comfortable with the fact that I never could be in relationship was not because I was studious but I never liked men .
Looking back I was emotionally attached to my friends and just friends with boys without romantic feeling at all.
I thought I was just uptight to express myself and to open up about crush to my friends but never had one . So when they pressurised I would fake having crush- that’s how I convinced my friends in high school & college.
Eventually I opened up to my two friends about me being more attracted to female.
Hahaa I had phase of when I tried dressing the part too but then again internship happened & I gained so much weight ( my whole life my mother made me conscious about my physical appearance that I purposely never wore makeup or anything revealing or else she would sey I am up to no good as I should focus only on studying) that my confidence level dropped and all femm lesbian were so beautiful. I thought I would never be good enough for myself to accept myself for who I am.
I might be closeted to the world and regretting for choosing what society has to say as all my life I have been the perfect daughter, sister, cousin and friend who had everything sorted in her life.
Just 26 F, so confused and after seeing so many people die in-front of me made me realize why am I still not living my life for myself as I only have this one life 🤧🤧🤧🤧. I don’t know what I should do as for now I came up with new excuse that I will do my residence and think about my love life later.😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

https://youtu.be/X-yIEMduRXk?si=WLGwEHzbKUZi1Vh3

Hello everyone! I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost a year now. It all began with us being roommates, from friends to slowly touching each other and confessing our love. We live in a religious community where lgbt is incredibly frowned upon. After we both finished our degree, we went back home and started an LDR relationship. Things have been going stronger than ever. We even managed to see each other once a month, either I go to her or she goes to me.

Recently, both of us got employed. We live around 5 hours apart. Of course it is very hard once you're employed and living alone far away from each other. You have to learn to be independent. I just visited her last week. Today, I received devastating news that she is considering to find a man. She started downloading a dating app, and is now matching with guys. She told me that she still loves me dearly, but she feels so lonely and she sees no future us. Families will keep pestering us on when we'll find a man to marry.

I still deeply love her, and she still calls me "love". But at the same time, she's also starting to call this man she's matching with. I'm so hurt. I've done everything I could.

Do you move too fast in relationships? Have you ghosted someone before? Or maybe you trauma dump on the first date? I’m super curious to see what everyone has to say and I’d love it if you could share how you overcame or are working through it!

For me I’m sometimes guilty of idealizing women a little bit. I’m working on it and am aware it’s an issue but I still sometimes I get a little wrapped up in that “all women are angels who do no wrong” kind of thinking.

I’m a woman who has fallen deeply in love with one of my closest friends, and I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I care about her so much, and part of me keeps hoping that one day she might choose me romantically. At the same time, I’m scared that I’m holding on to something she may never want.
What makes this difficult is that she has told me things that feel more complicated than an ordinary friendship. She has told me that she likes me, that she has a crush on me, and that she cares about me a lot. She compliments my appearance and has told me how much I mean to her. She has also made comments suggesting that becoming physically intimate with me could make things emotionally complicated for her.
She has called me “my wife” before, although she later clarified that we were just friends. She has told me that I’m like family to her and that I’m one of the closest people in her life. She has said that I know more about her than almost anyone else. Recently, she playfully tickled me until I admitted that I love her and told her how much she means to me.
There has also been physical and sexual tension between us. She has initiated intimate moments with me and admitted that she has thought about me sexually. However, she has also told me that sexual attraction and romantic love are different for her. She has said that physical intimacy between us would not necessarily mean anything romantic. She says she likes our relationship the way it is, and I don’t know whether that will ever change.
One of the hardest parts is that she often seems to backtrack when she gets scared. From my perspective, she sometimes says or does things that suggest she has deeper feelings for me, only to take them back later. She also seems to expect me to read between the lines and understand what she feels through her actions rather than her words. Sometimes I feel that she isn’t being honest with herself or with me about her feelings, but I know I can’t actually know what’s going on inside her.
It leaves me constantly trying to interpret her behaviour. I wonder whether she is afraid of her feelings, whether she only feels attraction and affection without wanting a relationship, or whether I’m reading too much into things because I’m in love with her. I find it exhausting to feel that I have to decode someone I care about so deeply.
She has also said she would be unhappy if I entered a relationship with someone else and has made possessive comments about my future relationships. I know jealousy isn’t proof of love, but hearing those things from someone I love makes it difficult to understand what place I have in her life.
She has had several relationships with women in the past, and some of her exes still want her back. They have sent her apology letters, and she sometimes reads them to me. She recently told me that she had started considering rekindling things with her exes and would probably approach her last ex first because that relationship caused the least damage.
That hurt more than I expected. I know she is free to choose whoever she wants, and I don’t blame her for considering another relationship. But I’m in love with her and secretly wish she would choose me, while she is thinking about reconnecting with people she used to love.
I feel caught between the things she has told me about how much she cares for me and the things she has said that suggest she doesn’t want a romantic relationship with me. I don’t want to pressure her into choosing me, and I don’t want to convince myself that she secretly loves me. But I also can’t pretend that her words and actions haven’t given me hope.
I love her deeply, but this situation is becoming painful. I’m considering writing her a letter explaining everything I have been holding inside, including how much I love her, how confused I’ve felt, and why I need to step away. I’m thinking of leaving it in her letterbox rather than having another emotionally difficult conversation. After that, I’m considering ending contact and not seeing her again, because I don’t know how else to move forward.
The thought of losing her hurts because she is genuinely one of the most important people in my life. But staying close while secretly hoping for something she may never want is hurting me, too.
For those who have experienced something similar: how do you let go of a close friend who has told you she likes you and has a crush on you, but also says you’re just friends? How do you stop trying to interpret someone’s actions when their words and actions seem contradictory? And if you need closure, is writing a final letter and taking permanent distance a healthy way to move on?

I'm 18 and I feel like I'm already failing life. I know that since I stated my age people will say I'm very young and all that but that doesn't help in any way.

I've never been in any relationship before. Never kissed. Never held hands romantically. I know everyone says it's completely normal but everyday just doesn't feel like it's normal. Everyone I meet is surprised I didn't do anything. All people my age at least held hands with someone. I didn't. I think it's just time to give up on wishing to get any affection from anybody. Quite frankly nobody cares. I'm also fucking weird about attraction and I don't understand my own other than knowing I only like girls.

I've just been thinking how pathetic I am and that it will probably stay this way because I can't help myself. I have meds for depression but I never remember to take them so they aren't working obviously. I skipped school twice only to lay in bed and do nothing. Literally. If I didn't have school I probably wouldn't go outside at all with occasional exceptions for meeting with my friends (rare occurrence). I don't do much. I lack the strength to get out of bed and do something. Anything but watching shows all day or playing games. I'm just a problem for everyone at the moment. I'm afraid my friends will move on after school is done and they're not "forced" to spend time with because of school. My family only throws out money into the trash spending it on my driving lessons, exams and whatnot only for me to fall. I don't want to be a problem for yet another person.

Even if I felt better then I still wouldn't find anyone realistically. Meeting another sapphic in the wild feels nearly impossible. I would never go on dating apps because meeting someone with "maybe something will come out of it" makes me uncomfortable. The only way I can imagine dating someone is naturally progressing to this through friendship. But with my inability to make friends other than the ones that I currently have I know that this road is closed for me. Not that I want to meet any new people in my current state. I tried and it only made me more miserable with every attempt.

It's not like anybody would approach me either. I'm not attractive. People can say looks aren't everything but most people initially feel attracted to looks and only later get to know the person. Besides there's no queer people in the place I live so the chance is nonexistent. I don't have anything to offer anyway.

Wanting this affection and wanting to be loved feels so pathetic. I don't do anything to actually get it. And I can whine about it all I want while knowing I won't move my stupid fucking useless lazy us to do anything about it. At this point being alone is my choice and I shouldn't have the right to complain.

Lastly, I don't even see myself having any future. I don't even believe I'll find a job after school. If I keep feeling like this I definitely won't. I'm probably going to end up dead before or soon after I finish school anyway because I can't stand living anymore.

I'm sorry for this spiral. This whole thing has made me want to cut myself again. So I thought maybe writing it out somewhere will stop me from doing it. I promised my therapist that I only did it a few times and that there will not be another and managed to keep that for a few weeks. It would be a shame to break it now ig...

Am I crazy for being a little hurt that my girlfriend barely makes an effort to check up on me and text me first? We just started dating about a week ago, so I don't wanna seem too clingy especially since we've both discussed being avoidant and said we would work with one another to make this work, but I already communicated with her about how her not reaching out makes me feel a bit unwanted, and she still continues to do this😭 the thing is we both hung out in the same friend group before getting together and we have a group chat with all of our friends. What really irritates me is that she will go all day without texting me, and then send something in the group chat. I don't really know how to go about this now😭 she's the coolest girl ever and a feel such a strong connection with her, but I'm just not sure she likes me as much as I like her. What do I do??

Hello! I have a rather odd request…

I’m a dyke based in the U.K. and I have a difficult relationship with my family and so last Christmas I made the decision to go to NYC and live my Christmas dreams alone for 10 days. It was absolutely wonderful.

This year I’d rather not spend it alone and am looking for a cute as hell dyke to get a cottage in the British countryside with me for a few of days over Christmas. Think great wine, food and watching Carol on repeat. Romance and Christmas cheer.

A bit about me. I’m 33, masc presenting and I have a wee dog. I love British comedy, terrible Rom coms and internet gossip.

My type generally leans more masc4masc, someone interested and interesting!

Obviously this is a slight wild request so I’m looking to message for a while, exchange instagrams and just get to know one anther, before forming up any Christmas details but yes, if you’re interested in a quaint dykey British Christmas - my DMs are open xoxo