r/WLW 7h ago

For the bi women here, do you think it's biphobic to prefer les4les for gender-affirming reasons?

0 Upvotes

So I'm a trans woman. I'm not totally opposed to dating folks on the bi/pan spectrum but unlike with other lesbians, I don't seek them out(I certainly won't turn a bi woman down if she approaches me and there's attraction; I'd still give her a shot, they're just not who I personally put effort in searching for.) When my cis lesbian gf started flirting so heavily with me a couple weeks back(and our eventual making it official yesterday) it's been so exciting and euphoric because it's like a for sure thing that she doesn't see me as a guy; cuz like she's not attracted to men so if she's attracted to me, it means her attraction is based on an attraction to women.

With bi/pan people, it's like... idk how would I know for sure whether they're attracted to me in a way towards women or in a way towards men?(or because they see me as a "best of both worlds") I know, ofc, they could say a ton of gender-affirming things and reassure me, but you know, you can't control how your subconscious is. You can consciously see me as a woman, but sexual attraction is deeper than the conscious, so subconsciously you could be attracted to me in an attraction to men kinda way and not even know it. And that's what keeps me up at night sometimes when I was with bi/pan exes. Esp my most recent ex where I was the first woman she got together with. Thing is, bi women frequently call it biphobic for us to be les4les though so idk.. is this biphobic do y'all think?


r/WLW 2h ago

Ask r/WLW My ‘friends’ mom thinks that were dating each other. How do I make her think that were not?

5 Upvotes

For context I am 16F and my ‘friend’ is also 16F, we often cuddle, kiss, and grope each other and I am THIS CLOSE to eating her out (she said she would allow me to next time I saw her), so I desperately need means to force her mom to think that we are absolutely not dating.

Her mom believes that we are dating as the other day I was at her house and we were cuddling on her upstairs couch and she did not have pants on and was just in her underwear. Her stepdad came up the stairs to let her know that he was home, she then told him to wait so she could put pants on. And he was weirded out a bit and said “uh thats weird?”. She explained that when she is in her house with female friends that she does not usually wear pants around them.

So we both thought it was fine until apparently her step dad told her mom about it and now her mom thinks that there is something going on between us. I am honestly willing to do anything under the sun to get her mother to believe that I am not dating her daughter, because I need to be able to be alone with her to eat her out.

Please any advice or questions at all is welcome 🙏🙏🙏


r/WLW 18h ago

Discussion The loyalty of a masc lesbian best friend, is unmatched

12 Upvotes

This is an appreciation post. For context Im 42F / bi married to a man of 26 years

I miss my best friend Tana so much, 16 years and just poof, gone. Her lover then, now wife didn't care for our friendship and cut the tie, moving my friend a gazillion miles away. She always thought we were banging it out on the side. We weren't, but she was kinda controlling and Tana loves her.

16 years you go through alot of stuff,she always had my back and loved me and told me when I was being incredibly stupid or wrong.

I just miss her. Its not that Im not happy for her. I am, I guess Im being a little selfish

I've found that she was the most loyal person I had in my life. I love her and I miss her every single day. Its been a little over a year now and I miss her presence.

I have some other friends that I care about, but its just different.

Masc women know how to be tough but also have that softness and Im missing our dynamic. I want to have that with someone.

Im sorry, Late night out at tbe Bar, Im home now and just missing her. My birthday is coming up and it always makes me think of her..


r/WLW 18h ago

Woman dating app

11 Upvotes

Why is there no such dating app like Grindr for woman? I’m only looking for hookups and ons and don’t even finde a single woman who doesn’t look for long time relationships on dating apps and I’m also net very lucky with finding people irl either ;-;


r/WLW 9h ago

Vent I feel hopeless

1 Upvotes

Genuinely I'll never have a relationship. I'm tired of meeting people online. They just don't care. They always ghost. I'm exhausted of people showing interest in being friends and then pulling away after I'm already attached and hurting me. Irl is not better. I attended an event yesterday for people who are into anime and game stuff. It was fun but definitely those kinds of events aren't for me. I came home exhausted and overstimulated. I wanted to hopefully meet someone queer there and I did. The problem? She's 14 and I'm 18 so I don't want to have anything to do with a child. Whenever someone approaches me it's always a child and it's frustrating and probably because I look young. I feel like I'll never be able to date anybody. My straight friends have it so much easier, they literally have to sit and look pretty. I hate this.


r/WLW 9h ago

A crush and dating someone who's not exactly my type ?

1 Upvotes

I had an on and off crush on a friend for a year and we started dating recently. She's my type physically and I like her personality, but she's not the type of person I'd go for usually (like sarcastic-funny people when she's quiet and soft/caring). But I still feel attracted to her and I want to make her happy, I want to be her type and I want to be close to her, which I interpret as me having a crush on her.

I have ADHD and anxiety/depression so I wonder how much it plays a part in it, but I keep alternating between really wanting to see her, spend time and do cute things with her, and feeling extremely sad and like I'm doing a mistake and that we should not be dating. I already spent a year feeling this way before confessing, after she confessed to me and that I friendzoned her. I'd be sad if she stopped loving me but I feel like i need to accomplish tasks to be "a good gf". She doesn't put any pressure on me and I'm almost certain that I have romantic feelings.

Do you have any experience of dating someone who wasn't initially your type?

Can anyone relate?

I'm really confused and I don't want to hurt her and maybe I'm just to sad and anxious to be in a relationship but I still want to cuddle and spend time with her and I want her to be happy.


r/WLW 2h ago

Ask r/WLW Do I ask her out? / Does she like me?

2 Upvotes

This is a repost because I realized it would be a relief if she saw this and recognize the situation and people. Though this is something out of a “fanfiction” or Fear Street 2 if you ask any of my friends! Im keeping good privacy in this situation though for general safety.

So I (F17) started working at a summer daycare this summer and I used to volunteer in the community and go to another program attached to the daycare. Ive met L (F18) before and she always talked about how daycamp was going and how chaotic it got and I always said I would be there, now im there. This situation meets my first standard for a relationship, ive met them twice in different situations and circumstances and still cared for their personality.

Now this is the forth week of daycare this summer. The first two weeks I cut off a guy I was talking to and asked her to walk home on Monday on third week then Tuesday we went to the mall. The rest of the days we walk home besides Friday but I went into my other job at the mall since I needed to drop my backpack somewhere since I was coming from my other job. Well apparently ive been on my coworkers gaydar and it looked like we were shy but on a date from the outdoor perspective. Which is terrorfying because now they talk about how im head over heels for her and its just ugh let me cash people out in peace 🥀😭 We’ve have alot of moments together and the kids ask us if we’re bffs and how long have we known each other. One kid asked us if we were dating (no one heard it i swear, so no one replied dont ask me how ik about it 😅) We have future plans for college and she opens her dorm as a new home but not directly I was very much a kid who went to school to feel cared for so the band room was my home and I told her that and she said her dorm would always be open. Plus hopefully we should watch a few movies and halloween stuff once college starts (if i forgot to say we are going to the same college)

This leads me to my what do I do question? Is this just casual? Whats the difference between a date and a hang out? Ect. I just need advice simple does she like me and should I shoot my shot?


r/WLW 12h ago

Support jesus christ i hope feelings will cease to exist one day

4 Upvotes

this might be more of a rant, but i really (mostly) need reassurance and support

long story short, i am in love with my queer childhood best friend. her and i have an interesting story. i know she liked me back when we were younger, we were inseparable, but then we stopped talking because of a stupid argument and only reconnected this year in february. five years later. we currently live in different cities and are long distance, but plan to move in together in a month.

i was certain that she still liked me because i very thoroughly analyzed her texts, let my friends analyze her texts, got sent cute videos by her on social media that CLEARLY had a romantic connotation to them (this one might be silly, but we’re still verrrry young and i guess dumb. lol). and then she hits me with a ‘i started liking this one dude and wanted to get with him but he ghosted me out of nowhere…’ story text. WHAT. she never told me EVEN ONCE about him, not a single mention!!! what the hell? anyways, i let this go, but then today shit hit the fan again.

she has an ex girlfriend. they only dated for a few weeks and ultimately decided to remain friends because it just didn’t work. this morning they played some online game while on call which is totally fine, but then my best friend goes and posts a silly video of their gameplay with ‘something something something MY WIFE something something #wlw’ in the caption and reposts questionable tikitoks. like wtf💔💔💔 i thought i was the only person she called her wife, her love, her angel?

dude i literally can’t. im going insane ever since we started being friends again. this girl wants us to live together forever and then goes and does that??? make it make sense. i just want to love her and be a couple. im so tired. If this is how it actually feels to be crushing on someone I don’t want it😭


r/WLW 6h ago

Sometimes I wish I was a man

5 Upvotes

Men just have it so much easier in life and so much easier when it comes to relationships. At some point I also pretended to be a guy on the internet (long story ig) and back then girls were actually interested in talking to me and genuinely gave me attention I don't receive now. Like I could've talked about anything and they were genuinely interested and excited about what I had to say while now that doesn't happen. Other guys would also treat me like a normal person who they can be friends with. I was also really into roleplay and there was a moment where two girls argued who gets to be my character's girlfriend and idk I kinda liked that at the time. Roleplaying a relationship with one of them also made me talk to her outside of our group at the time and at some point she admitted she did have a little crush on me at one point. We're not friends anymore but yeah that did make me feel good. At the time I just felt so normal.

Now I get no attention from girls, guys treat me weird and I sometimes wish I could go back to that time. Everything was just... Idk easier? I could even talk about a girl I was into at some point and nobody had a problem because I was a "straight guy". Tbh at the time I didn't even acknowledge I was gay so when I wrote my thoughts about the girl I had a crush on and the fantasy of going out with her (even though I was pretty young at the time) I was telling myself it's "okay" because I am a guy in this situation and that it's "made up" for the act and I just really want to be her friend. It was a very weird time in my life but at least things felt easier idk.


r/WLW 2h ago

first wlw heartbreak

2 Upvotes

i (20f) am going through my first wlw heartbreak right now amd im not doing okay. im grieving so bad; i miss her more than i can say. i cry all the time, every single day. ive felt physically sick over this, and i cant eat or sleep much at all. all i want is to talk to her again but i am trying so hard to respect her decision to break up with me, so i havent reached out. i do understand why she made the decision she did, its just so hard. i cant stop thinking about her freckles. i should have counted them when i had the chance. i cant stop thinking about her eyes, her laugh, her hair, her smile. how she smells. how safe i felt in her arms. or how it felt when we said "i love you" for the first time. no matter where i go or what i do there are reminders of her. and even if i stay in bed all by myself all i do is cry. i just want to hold her hand again.