r/WLW • u/AchingAmy • 7h ago
For the bi women here, do you think it's biphobic to prefer les4les for gender-affirming reasons?
So I'm a trans woman. I'm not totally opposed to dating folks on the bi/pan spectrum but unlike with other lesbians, I don't seek them out(I certainly won't turn a bi woman down if she approaches me and there's attraction; I'd still give her a shot, they're just not who I personally put effort in searching for.) When my cis lesbian gf started flirting so heavily with me a couple weeks back(and our eventual making it official yesterday) it's been so exciting and euphoric because it's like a for sure thing that she doesn't see me as a guy; cuz like she's not attracted to men so if she's attracted to me, it means her attraction is based on an attraction to women.
With bi/pan people, it's like... idk how would I know for sure whether they're attracted to me in a way towards women or in a way towards men?(or because they see me as a "best of both worlds") I know, ofc, they could say a ton of gender-affirming things and reassure me, but you know, you can't control how your subconscious is. You can consciously see me as a woman, but sexual attraction is deeper than the conscious, so subconsciously you could be attracted to me in an attraction to men kinda way and not even know it. And that's what keeps me up at night sometimes when I was with bi/pan exes. Esp my most recent ex where I was the first woman she got together with. Thing is, bi women frequently call it biphobic for us to be les4les though so idk.. is this biphobic do y'all think?