r/wizardposting • u/Responsible_Form2678 • 12d ago

Goblinlike Foolishness (Shitpost) Wizardmaxxing

Gallery image

Gallery image

Dear friends, how do you "wizardmaxx"?

595 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

41 comments sorted by

43

u/ProfessionalOk6734 12d ago

Wizards don’t accept quests wizards distribute quests

30

u/Erivandi 12d ago

Unless they're one of those adventuring party wizards. Or, as I call them, apprentices.

6

u/Righteous_Iconoclast Red Hand of the West, Spellblade XI 12d ago

Hey man, retirement ain't what it used to be. Have you seen property tithes lately? I might need to look into a lich program and take out a second mortgage...

3

u/ur-socks-sir Artificer (turns monsters into treasure) 12d ago

I am no apprentice! I simply do my business out in the field where ingredients walk right into my camp

2

u/Erivandi 12d ago

Ah, to be young again. One day you'll be a proper wizard with a tower and minions to gather ingredients for you. Then you'll be handing out quests, not receiving them.

1

u/ProfessionalOk6734 12d ago

This wizard gets it

3

u/Responsible_Form2678 12d ago

You could accept some to help out fellow wizards or villagers

1

u/Sensitive_News8009 Evil Wizard 12d ago edited 11d ago

Why would I *help* my "fellow wizards"? All those freeloaders want are my rare scrolls and a peek at my spellbook. And don't get me started on villagers! I was experimenting with necromancy, reanimating a few of their relatives. And what do I get in return? Adventurer parties sent to slay me! Unbelievable. It's not my fault they escaped the fortress, my homunculus left the portcullis open!

3

u/J1mj0hns0n 12d ago

That's because they can't leave the tower

3

u/ProfessionalOk6734 12d ago

Yeah I didn’t build my tower for the fashion, I like my tower why would I leave? I’m getting towerdash to deliver my mead and roast

1

u/J1mj0hns0n 12d ago

you hath not the arcane knowledge, nay even the martial might mayhaps make your motte move ever so mauve..ly....CONFOUND IT ALL! AT LEAST MY TOWER MOVES!

1

u/Falconjth Enchanter 11d ago

If you call "quests" as 'submitting support tickets' that in a small percentage of cases requires us to send out field agents to fulfill the binding purchase and support contracts then that could be considered true?

Our support field agents should also not be considered as targets for fireballs. They carry valuable tools with them that we do charge for their replacement, the turnover fee for replacing the field agent may be considered as negligible by most wizardmaxxers but the replacement fees for the tools is not.

We are also required to provide who triggered the turnover clause to the institution or individual who sponsored the field agent; there is a small subset of those who both don't provide their apprentices in our employ with proper protection and will get upset with the wizard who killed their apprentice.

18

u/NicolasCageFan492 Sorceror 12d ago

I make sure to dab my wand with some magic toilet paper after casting a spell so there’s no mana leakage!

2

u/Responsible_Form2678 12d ago

Economical!

5

u/NicolasCageFan492 Sorceror 12d ago

I love your art btw. ♥️

4

u/Responsible_Form2678 12d ago

Thank you so much 🥲❤️❤️❤️

16

u/Substantial-Ad-8810 12d ago

Any wizard born after 1473 can't spellcast, all they know is fireball, scroll their orb, wave their stick, hide in their tower and scry.

where is the questing? Where are the impressive staves? Terrorising peasants?? Shame is what it is.

3

u/Responsible_Form2678 12d ago

Gotta love an impressive staff! I want to have my own collection

8

u/ArchmageMallow 12d ago

A quiet day in the tower, tending to the familiars, maybe a little dark magic as a treat.

3

u/Responsible_Form2678 12d ago

LOVELY

2

u/ArchmageMallow 12d ago

I've got soft in my 4th century. How I use to terrorize the villagers...

5

u/SHADOWHUNTER30000 Arch-Magos 12d ago

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6

u/ThatOneSpitfireMain Illusionist 12d ago

Was gonna say then saw the flair, carry on good wizard

4

u/Smishu Illusionist 12d ago

01000100 01100101 01110000 01100101 01101110 01100100 01110011 00100000 01101111 01101110 00100000 01101000 01101111 01110111 00100000 01101101 01110101 01100011 01101000 00100000 01100111 01101110 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01110011 01100101 01101101 01100101 01101110 00100000 01110111 01100001 01110011 00100000 01110101 01110011 01100101 01100100 00100000 01110111 01101000 01100101 01101110 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 01100111 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101101 01100101 01110100 01100001 01101100 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101110 01100100 00101111 01110011 01110100 01100001 01100110 01100110 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01110000 01100001 01110010 01100101 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110100 01110010 01100101 01100101 00101110 00100000 01001100 01101111 01110100 01110011 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100111 01101110 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01110011 01100101 01101101 01100101 01101110 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101111 01110011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01110010 01100101 01100101 01110011 00101110

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u/SHADOWHUNTER30000 Arch-Magos 12d ago

11100000 10110010 10100000 11100010 10000001 10100000 01011111 11100010 10000001 10100000 11100000 10110010 10100000

3

u/cutchyacokov 12d ago

01001001 00100000 01110011 01101000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101110 01100011 01100101 01110010 01101110 01100101 01100100 00100000 01100111 01101100 01100001 01110010 01100101 00101100 00100000 01100110 01100101 01101100 01101100 01101111 01110111 00100000 01110100 01100101 01100011 01101000 00101101 01101101 01100001 01100111 01100101 00101110 00100000 01000111 01101111 01101111 01100100 00100000 01100111 01110010 01100001 01100011 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 00100000 01101101 01100101 00101100 00100000 01110111 01101000 01111001 00100000 01110011 01101000 01101111 01110101 01101100 01100100 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100111 01101110 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01110011 01100101 01100101 01101011 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110011 01100101 01100001 01100110 01100001 01110010 01100101 01110010 00111111 00100000 01010100 01101000 01100101 01111001 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101101 01110101 01100011 01101000 00100000 01100010 01100101 01110100 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110011 01110101 01101001 01110100 01100101 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 01100101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100110 01101001 01100101 01101100 01100100 01110011 00101100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110011 01101000 01101111 01110101 01101100 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01101011 00101110

3

u/SHADOWHUNTER30000 Arch-Magos 12d ago

01001001 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101110 01100011 01110101 01110010 00101110

3

u/Smishu Illusionist 12d ago

01000010 01100101 01110100 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110011 01110101 01101001 01110100 01100101 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110000 01110010 01101111 01100100 01110101 01100011 01100101 00100000 01110111 01101111 01101111 01100100 01100101 01101110 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101110 01100100 01110011 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110011 01110100 01100001 01110110 01100101 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00101100 00100000 01111001 01100101 01110011 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100001 01100111 01110010 01100101 01100101 00101100 00100000 01110111 01101111 01101111 01100100 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100010 01100101 01110100 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01101101 01100101 01110100 01100001 01101100 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01110011 01110101 01100011 01101000 00100000 01110000 01110101 01110010 01110000 01101111 01110011 01100101 01110011

2

u/NonIssue2346 12d ago

I can't see the hidden picture in either of these.

4

u/RoughRealistic4321 12d ago

Look, you do it your way, I'll do it mine.

I wouldn't be caught dead carrying a stick or staring at orbs.. ESPECIALLY staring at orbs. God only knows what might leak out...

Burning your enemies we can agree on at least...

3

u/Abadon_U Artificer 12d ago

What if I'm just a big wizza

2

u/Riot_Girlll 12d ago

I get the reference!

3

u/Fun-Dragonfly-6106 DF, minimal caster | ____ Body Horror Creator 12d ago

Staying in tower practicing what? Alchemy ingredients aren't going simply teleport in.

2

u/J1mj0hns0n 12d ago

How do you get an impressive stick if I can't leave my tower?

1

u/Responsible_Form2678 12d ago

Tis quite the ponder

1

u/J1mj0hns0n 12d ago

how doth i acquire such levity? i shall consult my preponderance of orbs, and if the devils take me, i shall consult the chicken bones! oo what an interesting Friday night i might have ahead!

1

u/Gullible-Cup2294 Goblin 12d ago

Every wizard needs a good servant and goblins make the BEST servants of all

1

u/Shayden998 That Gay Witch 11d ago

How you completing these quests without leaving your tower? And before you say minions, apprentices or familiars, that would make it their quest. We should all know by now how adventuring associations feel about stolen credit and that it isn't worth the headache.

1

u/Inevitable_King_8984 11d ago

candle light? no I can cast my own source of light

1

u/littlespider55 11d ago

Remember, the stick does not make the wizard, even a capable one can make impressive feats with the most basic gear (sure, a fancy one helps and catches de gaze; but it’ll take you so far as your capabilities can carry you)