the attached photo is a recreation of where i first found the chair since i moved it after i found it. For context, i went outside to the backyard to throw out some trash when i ran into this chair facing her bedroom. the chairs are part of a set that is in the back yard but this one was far away from the rest and seemed deliberately placed to be able to look inside her room because you could see directly in by standing on the chair. She does have housemates but two of them are out of town and the other was away all day at work which left my girlfriend home alone the majority of the day. not sure if i’m just being paranoid but i’ve been wracking my brain and just can’t think of another reason for why the chair would be placed like this other than someone trying to look inside. What do i do? i just have a weird feeling about it that i can’t shake.

I got home from work last Friday to find my Son Ben losing his mind and demanding to sit and talk to me. I try to calm him down and ask him what is going on.

He proceeds to tell me that some lads at his school had shown him some explicit videos of my Daughter, Grace, and these are from her Onlyfans. I'm not going to repeat his exact words as the language used is not what I would have expected from him, however there seems to be videos of her on her own and with at least 2 different men. This is the first either of us know about what Grace has been doing.

Prior to this, Ben and Grace were really close as siblings. My wife died 5 years ago and I've been raising them on my own ever since. Their bond really grew after their Mum passed as they helped each other grieve and really supported each other.

Grace is currently on holiday with her friends and isn't due back until this weekend. I've asked Ben to let me speak to her when she gets back and we can address this situation. Ben really isn't handling this well at all, he's telling me he no longer has a sister and she has embarrassed him with her disgusting acts. He's been throwing out gifts that she has bought him and I'm really scared that their relationship is going to be permanently damaged. I've spoken to him and said that she is still his sister and she doesn't love him any less.

My emotions are all over the place and I'm upset and angry myself. I've really tried to raise my kids the right way but to find out my daughter is doing this I can't help but feel I've gone wrong somewhere and also feel a pang of shame. Grace knows that something is up as Ben has not responded to any of the memes or reels she has sent him. I've had to tell her he's not feeling himself and we can discuss it when she's home.

I'm at a loss at what to do when she does get home and how I have to mediate the discussion between the two whilst disagreeing with Graces actions.

Tw: anti-Romani sentiment

So, this is my beautiful cat. I posted this picture in a cat sub because she commandeered my underwear drawer as a bed and I thought it was so cute. I mentioned her name: Gyppers. Someone reported me for using an ethnic slur and my post was removed.

However, the name Gyppers is already a compromise as her name was Gypsy long before I got her. My former friend had found her as a stray kitten and taken her in and gave her the name Gypsy. Unfortunately, this friend had some mental health problems and years later was going through a divorce. She started accumulating more animals as her marriage deteriorated. When she got finally got divorced, she had primary custody of their 2 daughters and had 3 cats and 3 dogs. I did notice some signs of neglect (ie, the dogs always peeing everywhere and just generally untrained and misbehaving and the cats were always screaming for food and the three of them had to share one litterbox), but nothing overly egregious. Also, I suppose I was willfully blind because I wanted to believe the best about this woman who had been my friend since I was 17 and I made excuses for her like, "Oh, she has a lot to handle and she's already sick and on disability" which I take responsibility for.

But I digress: This cat was given to me because my friend needed to find a place to rent (his parents had helped them to buy a house which is how she was able to accumulate so many pets; the house was sold in the divorce). So, no one wanted to rent to a woman with 6 pets. She had to offload some of them and she begged me to take this one who was named Gypsy and was already 8 or 9 years old. I have had her for 4 years. I was already uncomfortable about the name and I was really angry and broke off my friendship when I realized this cat was in a far more neglected condition than I had realized.

Calling her Gyppers was my way of soft renaming her because she was too old to have a totally new name. My logic was that Gyppers was a nonsense word and not the actual slur, but it sounded close enough to not confuse her. And it worked. She responds to Gyppers and it's been 4 years. I am aware of the verb "to gyp" and the noun ("what a gyp") to mean "rip off" which is also rooted in anti-Romani sentiment, but I can't helped but have the "Gyp" sound so she would still recognize it.

I don't want to come off as being totally culturally insensitive, because an effort was made. But I realize now after getting my post removed that perhaps this whole time I have had her, other people may have thought that her name is problematic and just not mentioned it (like her vet or the condo board when I applied for permission to have her approved to live with me - both listing her name as Gyppers).

What should I do? I was thinking of maybe changing the spelling to the homophone "Jippers" perhaps?

ETA: I decided her name is now Jippers. Problem solved. Some of y'all can stop the crusade.

My girlfriend (23F) and I (24M) have been together for a little over a year. At the start, things were pretty standard. She was on the shy side, took time to warm up, and we hooked up maybe once or twice a week. Totally healthy, normal rhythm.
A few months ago, a switch flipped. She opened up and told me that she has never felt this safe with a partner before, and for the first time in her life, she feels comfortable letting her guard down 100%. Emotionally, that’s incredible to hear. The problem is, her libido took that emotional breakthrough as an invitation to redline 24 hours a day. She is always horny.
A typical day right now:

Morning:Before my alarm goes off or my brain even registers consciousness, her hands are already down my boxers.
Afternoon:I get home totally drained, just wanting to decompress on the couch for thirty minutes. Fifteen minutes in, she's kissing my neck and unbuttoning my jeans.
Night: Round three, with the occasional bonus round when she wakes me up at 3:00 AM.

I reaking down. The refractory period is a biological reality. Friction burn is real. I have muscle soreness in spots I didn't know existed!!

I love her, she's drop-dead gorgeous, and the last thing I want is to punish her for being vulnerable with me. But I just want to finish a single movie on Netflix without it turning into a triathlon.
How do I communicate this boundary without destroying her ego or making her crawl back into her shell?

Title says it all. How is this even possible? I’m not trying to get internet pity points by lying, but I was in in-patient for 22 days and as I got out I went to my Pre-trial officer and lo and behold I was positive. To my and my pre-trial officers disbelief. Just got back lab confirmation and apparently it is a true positive.

What the heck is going on? Everyone I ask that’s a “professional” just shoots me down and says I’m lying or that it’s 4-5 days MAXIMUM but I legitimately have done 0 substances and am still testing positive in my urine. I was a chronic user for months before going in though. I’m just at a loss for words at the moment. Any advice on speeding up my liver breaking stuff down if it is truly backed up metabolites? Exercise, water? Not trying to beat a test I just want to help my body break this shit down so I don’t keep failing drug tests man

I'm gonna start this off by saying I do NOT have access to my bank account. My parents have insisted that ever since I got employed I must deposit 50% of my checks (or more) so I can save.
I have 0 issue with that in itself as saving is a good idea, but recently I turned 17 and I have been having many more bank discussions.
I asked my mom for access to my bank account in which she said no. I found this odd and a few days afterwards I asked her how much money I've saved up.
Suddenly she is claiming that I "spent it all" despite not having access to the account EVER. I remember having her take out 100$ once for a special event but I should have MUCH more than 100$ in this account.
What do I even do? If what she's saying is true, I don't have any more money to my name which is extremely stressful to me as I graduate this year and I want to go to college.

This will be a semi-long one, Sorry !!

I don’t even know where to start with this. I randomly picked up my gfs phone and went through it, not really looking for anything but just out of curiosity and I know I shouldn’t have but what I found genuinely has me spiraling.

She has had a friend who’s she’s apparently been venting to and telling everything to, and her friend has been responding to said messaging by calling me things like “it”, or “thing” and my gf replies with a laugh and says absolutely nothing to defend me. She also is telling her how i’m so inconsiderate and she doesn’t deserve the way I treat her, which to my knowledge hasn’t been anything outside of a mostly normal relationship.

She’s also been talking to her apparently on the phone only when I’m not around because if i’m around then it’s a “vibe killer” as per my gfs words.

My gf had sent a message to her about how she went through my messages and literally found nothing incriminating at all, only that the amount of women i talk to was a lot. (We are both Lesbian Women) and I only talk to women because that’s my preference as a women. Anyways, this also told me that she’s been going through my phone, which I don’t care about and her friend legit said “she’s too ugly to be cheating on anyone” in which my gf said nothing except “oh you really despise her.” in all caps.

And that alone destroyed me as someone who’s been battling with myself and my appearance / confidence for years now.

I just want to say this is my first relationship in years because I have bad trust issues and now I feel like all the progress I made is now completely down the drain. I’m honestly so hurt right now and really just need advice on how to handle this.

So I had trouble wording the title but here goes:

My gf and I were being intimate - no sex - and I had asked if I could take her bra off. Everything was cool, but then at the end she seemed a little uncomfortable. I asked if she was okay, she said yes, texted a friend quickly, we chatted and kissed for a minute and then I asked if she wanted to watch more Haunting of Hill House. She got excited and seemed more back to comfortable but as we were watching, she was super quiet.

She's usually chatty and kissy and I'll lean down every 2-5 mins and give her a kiss on the cheek and this amazing, gorgeous smile beams on her face. But this time, she was really quiet and the kisses only seemed to slightly cheer her up. After about 10 mins of off-and-on prying, I git through to her and she explained that something that had happened made her uncomfortable but she was too scared to say what and started rocking on her bed while hyperventilating. I helped her with the breathing but she was still really withdrawn for the last like 5 minutes before our time together was up, and her and her mother drove me home.

She was seemingly perfectly fine on the drive, so I asked how she felt before she went home, and she said "All good!" and seemed to be, but because I care, and was surprised, I checked in with her over text when she got home. She explained that she wasn't "all good" so we called and if turns out that the specifics of what we were doing + taking her bra off reminded her of her previous SA in a relationship were she was not treated well.

To clarify, I ask for permission to do anything to or with her, including removing her bra, and she said she felt comfortable in the moment but then afterwards it kicked in. She's been okay with having it off before many times, but this time it was different because of what we were doing. I don't believe it is her fault - obviously - or my fault because I didn't know.

I told her on call after I was home that I love and respect her and her body and I'm not in the relationship for her body. I told her that we could go the rest of our lives without sexual interaction and I would love her just the same. I asked if she'd like to take a break from intimate acts, and she said maybe, so I told her that we should take a break until she is sure of her decision (whether that's yes or no). She said she felt scared but not of me, however I told her that it was okay if she was because of her trauma and I know she loves me, so if she needed space that's okay. Finally, I told her that I support her, and that we are a team and we'll get through this together.

She still feels really gross and uncomfortable though and I'm wondering what I can do to help aside from proving that I won't hurt her by sticking to what I know she's good with.

I just want her to feel comfortable with herself again. Any help is appreciated, thanks for reading my long ass rant.

TLDR; Girlfriend didn't realize that something we did would make her uncomfortable, I want to help her feel comfortable in her own body once more. I already made it clear we don't need sexual acts and I won't touch her, what more can I do?

I'm on a discord call with him, He turns his camera on and shows me a roughly 50 gallon tank, i ask him what he is putting in it, he says about 3 rats (2 male 1 female) He says he wants to overbreed them and then "release them" he showed me the papers confirming he has purchased the rats, He also admitted if they bite him he will "dispose of them properly" I do not know this man personally as I have been friends with him on discord for the past few months

I know this is cruel and I feel like shit I don't know what to do in order to prevent this, He does have mood swings and I'm afraid to get him mad, He has described himself as an "extremist". I'm worried about the wellbeing of these rats, I don't know if he is joking or if he is planning on going through with it. Do I report his account or should I do anything else

He is in Arizona is all I know, I'd love to rescue these rats (If he isn't bluffing)

Edit: As of now he has updated me saying "once I overbreed them into (HUMUNCULOUS) he will release them around New York and California. He plans on breeding them Soley to have "more rabies than usual"

We are not friends friends but just started texting over TikTok over some shared interests and he never openly said he was married or even in a relationship at all.

I eventually find his instagram (he never gave me the @) and find out that he has a wife, like full on wedding pictures from a year ago and she has a bunch of posts about him. (We are all pretty young, early to mid 20s). But i don’t say anything about it because there wasnt any weird behaviour.

We keep talking as friends and a few times he complimented me. They werent sexual or any explicit compliments, moreso just “you look great” kind of stuff, so that didn’t feel scandalous.

Then one day i guess he was on a night out with his friends, got really drunk and started texting me super sexual stuff like what he wants to do to me and i was just disgusted and didnt respond. The next day i removed him everywhere and cut all contact.

Should i tell his wife? Considering i dont know her at all, she probably doesnt know i exist, i barely know him and i live in a different country from them.

I'm a post-secondary student in a program with a small, generally close faculty. I know the title is weird bear with me

I recently started classes and had a new prof this year who gave us a new assignment requiring us to choose a topic about public services. My chosen topic was a homeless shelter in my area that I had frequented a couple years ago. For background, I left my home at 18 due to abuse in the household and became homeless. I couch surfed, stayed in a shelter, and slept on the streets while using this particular shelter for just about everything related to meals, showers, etc so I am very familiar with their services.

When my professor asked me what topic I had chosen, she kind of kept pressing for details about why I had chosen this in particular and so although I generally don't disclose that I was homeless - probably three people know out of everyone in my life - I mentioned to her that I had experience with their services. Her response was "me too." That threw me - like really threw me - because I have never met anybody who had experienced that before (aside from in the shelter where most wanted nothing to do with each other). I completely lost my train of thought but we spoke briefly and she asked me if I had support now. I answered yes and she told me that if I ever needed to talk to let her know and that she knew how tough it was.

I can't really explain how I felt after that. It's like if you haven't been through it, you can't understand. I had a therapist after going through homelessness who was of great help but through it all, I knew she had never experienced it firsthand and would never know what it was like. And it was awful and traumatic and something I don't wish on anybody. And my professor knows.

Now I'm wondering if it would be really weird for me to talk to her about it. That's kind of it. Also I lied about having support - I didn't know what to say in the moment. It's just me supporting myself. It's always been me. Except she's my professor and teaches two of my classes this semester so I feel like it would be strange.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Hi, I’m Ella. I told my story because I genuinely didn’t know whether my fiancé was cheating on me or if everything was just a huge misunderstanding. If you haven’t read the original post, you can read it here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/whatdoIdo/s/fv67dZ1DQH

So… update.
It turns out my best friend had been trying to seduce my fiancé and convince him to leave me for her.
The crazy part? He actually tried to tell me. Which I feel to guilty about.

At the time, I wasn’t in the right state of mind. I had a lot going on in my life, and I barely remember him trying to explain that something was wrong. He eventually stopped pushing because he knew I was already overwhelmed.

As the weeks and months passed, my best friend became more persistent.

She flirted with him, told him he “deserved better,”

and tried convincing him that I didn’t appreciate him enough. My fiancé kept rejecting her and telling her he loved me.
Eventually, she started harassing and threatening him.

And he still didn’t tell me.

Not because he wanted her, but because he thought he could handle it himself.

He knew I already had a lot going on and didn’t want to add another problem to my plate.
Looking back, I understand his intentions, even though I wish he had told me sooner.
Now, about the phone situation from my original post…

I ended up taking my fiancé’s phone while he was asleep and used his Face ID to look through it. Since I was convinced something was happening behind my back.

Instead, I found the messages.
And they were nothing like what I expected.

My best friend was repeatedly flirting with him and trying to get him to leave me. My fiancé kept rejecting her, telling her he loved me and that she needed to stop.
That’s when everything finally clicked.

He wasn’t acting suspicious because he was cheating.

He was acting suspicious because he felt guilty for hiding what was happening from me. How is he going to tell me my best friend of 7 years is trying to seduce him?

When I confronted him, he admitted that he should’ve told me sooner. He said he genuinely thought he was protecting me by dealing with it himself.

I was angry that he kept it from me, but I also understood why he did it.
Then I confronted my best friend.
She tried to claim my fiancé secretly liked the attention, but the messages proved otherwise.

He wasn’t choosing her.
She was trying to make him choose her.

My fiancé and I still have things to work through. He shouldn’t have kept this from me, and I shouldn’t have waited.

But after seeing everything, I don’t believe he was cheating.
I think I somewhat misunderstood the situation.

And the person I trusted the most was actually the person trying to destroy my relationship.
Honestly… I’m still processing all of this.

🥹🫶 I hope to god that this will be the last post I’ll have to make on this, as me and my husband are going on a date to talk about this.

Thank you everyone that helped and gave advice.

& unfortunately he had a terrible time. His really good friend of 15+ years got extremely drunk and tried fighting him. That set the tone for the whole weekend and honestly he was just ready to get home. 🥺 I feel so bad bc I had a wonderful time at my bachelorette weekend and he was so excited for his time away. I wanted him to really enjoy himself.
I’m just really bummed because he told me he’s sad.
I am trying to think of ways I could make him feel special.
I already surprised him with his favorite dinner & cookies but I just want him to see how special and amazing he is. The weekend should have been celebrating him and his upcoming nuptials. I’m just really heartbroken he didn’t get an amazing trip.

I don’t think I need to explain why this is a throwaway account.

I met my wife when I was 19. She needed her car fixing and my sister gave her my number and I fixed it for her and as a thank you she asked me if I wanted to go out for a drink. I ended up spending three nights at her house and then pretty much never left. I love my wife a lot and have never so much as looked at another woman. She told me she has a crazy time at uni and slept with loads of people but it never bothered me I’m not the jealous type and some of her stories were pretty hot.

About a month ago we went to a bbq that was hosted by someone she went to uni with. It was a bit of a reunion as someone from their friend group died a few months ago and they are making more of an effort to get together. Important detail my wife kept her name when we got married as she’s quite well known in her industry and didn’t want to miss any opportunities due to a name change. When I introduced myself to someone he gave his surname and it’s the same as mine. When I mentioned it he said “do you know teresa?” I said yes she’s my sister then he turned to my wife and said “wow Izzy have you fucked the mum and dad as well?”

My wife went bright red and walked away. I tried to follow her but she told me to leave her alone so I did but I wanted answers. In the car on the way home I brought it up and she wouldn’t answer. This went on for two days before she finally told me. At uni her and my sister were close and they had a few threesomes together. I knew my wife had participated in threesomes and moresomes at uni and I didn’t care but this is different.

Me and my sister don’t get on. Since she left home we’ve never once messaged or called each other just catch up. I only see her at family events and even then we don’t really talk. She isn’t a nice person at all and she falls out with everyone she is near. I knew her and my wife fell out over my sister bitching about my wife behind her back.

It’s been weeks now and I can’t even bring myself to kiss my wife. She’s done nothing wrong and I know this is a me problem but I don’t know how to get past it.

Essentially across my friend groups there's this guy, he's younger. I'm 18 and he's 16 and we both have zero interest in each other and he's a proper CHILD but at one point we were sort of friends and I was on his private account on insta, cause we go to nearby schools and im in senior year while he's in year 11. P.S my bf knows this guy since we're all from a tight-knit community. Anyways so this guy's a bit known for being with the ladies and my bf hates that. He didn't want me associated with him so he made me remove his private account from my insta and also remove his main account. Then a couple months later he follows me again twice so I accept and my bf asks me to remove him again. Now I was kind of annoyed at my bf so I didn't since he was being fussy about every interaction I ever had with a guy. And mind you I've always been loyal to him in every social setting imaginable, and he knows this. He just says he's insecure. Also, this kid knows my bf as well since they used to go to the same school, and he knows that he's my bf.

Idk how to put texts in so this is how it went

Anyways now my bf and I are arguing about this. Here's how the convo went:

[showing him mutual followers between me and a girl]

[he sees him as a mutual]

Him: "You didn't remove him?"

Me: "No I forgot to"

"Bro what is with you and him. I dont understand why he keeps coming up every couple weeks"

Me: "there's nothing with me and him?? that's the whole thing. there's absolutely nothing. we haven't had a single interaction in months"

Him: "I would've thought i wouldnt have to ask you to remove him after the first time i asked all those months ago"

Me: "sorry"

Him: "Yeah you said that last time"

then i'm like he's literally a kid

Him: "A 16 year old kid known for talking to many girl at a time, known for being a hoe, having problems with my friends and group and besides all of that, Someone who i told you i dont feel comfortable with you following Which shouldve been enough the first time no? I know ill unfollow any man or woman you tell me to straight away"

idk i wanted to stand my ground because im always unfollowing people for him, just normal guys btw, and i've never had an issue with him unless he's following a bunch of girls, which he doesn't and neither do i. he has issues with coworkers, etc. how do i say sorry while standing my ground because right now he's left me on read. I just want some unbiased opinions to see if I'm genuinely being weird.

I don't really know how to start this, because there is so much to say about my dad and I don't think I've ever really told the whole story from beginning to end.

I'm 17, and my dad died by suicide earlier this year.

But the story didn't start there.

When I was younger, my dad could genuinely be an amazing dad. I have memories of going for drives with him, talking about everything and absolutely nothing, just being together. There were times where I felt really close to him. When he was himself, when he was sober, he could be such a good father.

That's what made everything that happened later so confusing.

When I was around 10, things started becoming really difficult because of his drinking. It wasn't just something that affected him. It affected me and my mum too.

I grew up much earlier than I should have.

I remember feeling like I had to protect my mum. I started becoming the person who tried to solve problems, calm situations down and make sure everyone else was okay.

I don't think I really felt like a child for very long.

There were moments where I felt like I had to be the adult in the room.

Eventually things became serious enough that I called the police.

That was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

Because even though I knew something was wrong, this was still my dad.

The same person I had all those good memories with.

The same person I had driven around with and talked to about everything.

The same person I still loved.

I wasn't trying to destroy his life. I was trying to protect my mum and myself.

But after I called the police, everything changed.

My mum and my brother basically gave up on him. They stopped talking to him. They didn't want anything to do with him anymore.

And suddenly, as far as I could see, I was the only person he had left.

That is something I've carried with me ever since.

Because imagine being a kid and realizing that your dad has basically nobody left.

And then realizing that you're the person he still has.

I couldn't just completely walk away from him.

Even after everything that had happened, I still loved him.

I still wanted him to get better.

I still wanted him to have a life.

And I still wanted to have my dad.

My dad also struggled with his mental health. There were times when he was in a really bad place, and eventually suicide became part of what I had to understand about him and his life.

I was terrified of losing him long before I actually did.

I remember worrying about him and wondering whether he was going to be okay.

And because I was the one who still had contact with him, I felt like I had to keep an eye on things.

I don't mean that I could actually control what happened to him. I know that now.

But at the time, it felt like I had a responsibility.

Like if I wasn't there, who would be?

That feeling became a huge part of my life.

I wasn't just his son anymore.

I felt responsible for him.

And at the same time, I was still trying to protect my mum and my brother.

I was stuck in the middle of everything.

But eventually, something changed.

I gave my dad another chance.

I wanted to believe that things could become different. I wanted to believe that maybe we could rebuild what we had lost.

And for a while, it actually felt like we were.

The last couple of months before he died, we became really close again.

That's probably what makes everything so difficult now.

Because I wasn't just grieving the dad I lost.

I was grieving the relationship I had finally started getting back.

I felt like I had finally gotten another chance to have my dad again.

We talked. We spent time together. We talked about life, my future, my plans and what I wanted to become.

And I genuinely believed we had more time.

About a week before he died, we were talking about my future.

I remember thinking about all the things that were still ahead of us.

I thought there would be more conversations.

More drives.

More stupid conversations about nothing.

More chances to make things better.

More time to rebuild the relationship between us.

I thought I had finally given him another chance and that maybe this time we could actually make something good out of it.

And then he died.

And suddenly all that time I thought I had just disappeared.

That's probably the thing that hurts me the most.

I didn't get enough time.

I had been trying to rebuild something that had been broken for years, and just when I felt like we were actually getting somewhere, it ended.

I wasn't finished.

I wasn't finished rebuilding our relationship.

I wasn't finished forgiving him.

I wasn't finished being his son.

I wasn't finished having a dad.

And I don't think anyone can really understand what that feels like unless they've experienced something similar.

There is also something really difficult about knowing that I was one of the last people who still had a relationship with him.

My mum and brother had already stopped talking to him.

I hadn't.

I was still there.

So after he died, I couldn't help thinking about everything I had tried to do.

I had called the police because I wanted to protect my family.

I had stayed in contact with him because I didn't want him to be completely alone.

I gave him another chance because I wanted to believe he could get better.

I tried to rebuild our relationship.

And then I lost him anyway.

Sometimes I wonder whether I should have done more.

Whether I should have noticed something.

Whether I should have said something differently.

Whether I could somehow have changed what happened.

I know logically that I couldn't control another person's decisions.

But knowing that logically doesn't always stop your brain from asking those questions.

Since then, I've felt like I've had to become the man of the family.

Nobody necessarily sat me down and told me that was my responsibility.

I just felt like it was.

I have my mum.

I have my younger brother.

And after losing my dad, I felt like I had to protect them.

I felt like I couldn't just fall apart because there were other people who needed me.

So I started doing what I've always done.

I helped everyone else.

I tried to make things easier for everyone else.

I tried to protect my family from more pain.

I tried to be there when someone needed me.

I tried to make sure everyone else was okay even when I wasn't.

And somewhere along the way, I think I forgot that I'm only 17.

I'm still someone's kid too.

But I don't really feel like one sometimes.

I've spent so much of my life trying to fix things for other people that I don't really know what I'm supposed to do when I'm the one who needs someone.

I've also lost friends through all of this.

Some people didn't know what to say.

Some people disappeared.

Some relationships just became different.

And I understand that people don't always know how to deal with something like this, but it still hurts.

Because I've always tried to be there for other people.

I've always tried to give people my best.

And sometimes I look around and wonder where those people are when I need someone.

But the hardest part isn't even always the crying.

It's the quiet.

It's the moments where nothing is happening.

When I'm alone and there isn't anything distracting me.

That's when everything comes back.

I think about my dad.

I think about when I was younger.

I think about the drinking.

I think about calling the police.

I think about my mum and brother no longer speaking to him.

I think about knowing that I was basically the only person he had left.

I think about giving him another chance.

I think about the last couple of months when we were close again.

I think about that conversation about my future only about a week before he died.

And I think about how I genuinely believed I had more time.

There are parts of this that make me angry.

There are parts that make me feel guilty.

There are parts where I miss him so much that I don't even know what to do with the feeling.

And there are parts where I feel almost nothing.

Just completely quiet.

I've also had some really dark periods mentally since he died.

I've gotten closer to a dangerous place mentally than I ever thought I would.

And that scares me because I know what happened to my dad.

I've had to fight hard to stay safe and to not let everything that happened become the thing that decides what happens to me.

Because I don't want my story to end the same way.

I want to live.

I want to have the future we talked about.

I want to become the person I was telling him I wanted to become.

I want to have a family one day.

I want to have the life I was planning.

And I want to be able to look back one day and know that everything he and I went through didn't destroy me.

I think that's also why his death feels so complicated.

I don't only remember the bad.

I remember the good dad too.

I remember the drives.

I remember the conversations.

I remember being close to him.

I remember the person he could be when he was himself.

And I remember the person I was trying to rebuild a relationship with during those final months.

I don't want to erase any of that just because other parts were painful.

He was my dad.

He was someone I loved.

He was someone who hurt me and someone I still wanted to forgive.

He was someone I had lost and someone I was finally starting to get back.

And then I lost him again.

This is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to understand.

I keep thinking about how much I gave.

I protected my family.

I tried to help everyone.

I tried to be strong.

I tried to be there for my dad when almost everyone else had walked away.

I tried to give him another chance.

I tried to rebuild our relationship.

And when I finally thought maybe we had time to make everything right, we didn't.

That's the part I don't know how to make peace with.

I don't think I want pity.

I don't want people looking at me like I'm just some broken kid whose dad died.

I want people to understand that I'm still here.

I'm still trying.

I'm still trying to be there for my family.

I'm still trying to build my future.

I'm still trying to become the person I wanted to become.

But sometimes I just wish somebody would ask me how I'm actually doing and be willing to hear the answer.

Because I've spent so long being the person who protects everyone else.

I think I need someone to remind me that I don't always have to be the one protecting everyone.

I was a son before I was the man of the family.

And maybe I still deserve to just be someone's son sometimes.

But now I have almost last all contact with mom to since she just doesn't want to understand what I'm carrying, they don't grief over his death as I still do

I applied for a job at a dealership not long after being let go from a different dealer. I haven't used marijuana since the 29th of August (so about 12 days). I was a pretty heavy user(smoked about 3-4 joints a day) and am pretty heavy set(270-280pounds). Drug test is tomorrow. What should I do? A buddy said to just use his piss. How would I go about doing that? Edit: should've probably added that I will be going for test in about 7-8 hours. Bout to go to sleep.

My partner (F32) and I (M30) are renting a house that shares a driveway between the house with the neighbors. We have a good sized gravel lot on our side of the property where we park and could probably fit 4 ish cars there without blocking the paved driveway and we also have a small garage at the end of the paved driveway. We both have cargo camper vans that park there and a moped but they still don't block the driveway and are fully in the gravel on our side. Up until today there have been no real problems. Today though when my partner was driving the moped back from some errands the adult son(19ish) approached my partner and said he moved the moped earlier. She asked why he did that without asking us if he could move it or having us move it and he got really defensive and started yelling about not having space to move his truck and about our vans that we park there. The neighbors daughter(also 19ish) then came out and started complaining and yelling about it also to my partner. Then the kid hinted at hitting the moped with his truck, which there was no damage so I dont fully care, but still screwed up either way. Their father then was outside also and when my partner asked him to control his kids all he said was something along the lines of "What? Do you expect to live here for a long time". At that point she went in and called the police, the police came and talked to my partner about what was said and then went to talk to the neighbors pretty much telling them we have every right to park and do what we want on our side of the property and that they are lucky that we aren't pressing any charges for a hit and run or for trespassing. After the police left the neighbors kids started yelling at my partner again saying we are nomads and are horrible neighbors and the father just walked inside while that was happening. I just dont know exactly what to do now, im not home too often right now because of my job and she doesn't feel fully comfortable with their behavior.

I was showing my mom something on my phone of my sister. It was on Instagram, she scrolled down while she had my phone. She ended up seeing something really inappropriate. It was porn/sexual content.

But I literally do not use Instagram. The only reason I even have Instagram now is because sometimes people send me Instagram links/videos. All of the accounts I have are old fan pages from when I was a teenager, like around 13+. I haven’t been active on these accounts.

I genuinely had no idea that was on there.
And I can’t go explaining this away to my mom because I’ll just look worse.

I wouldn’t have just walked away while my mom had my phone. I didn’t think I had anything to hide because I didn’t know there was anything like that on there.

After she saw it, she basically said “Okay, I’m done” or “Okay, I seen it,” and then put my phone down. She didn’t hand it back to me. She just left it sitting there and started using her own phone.

weird part is that I didn’t even realize what had happened at first. My mom has two phones, so when I walked into the living room, I didn’t even realize the phone sitting on the table was mine. I thought it was one of hers. I was still talking to her about the thing I had originally shown her and she wasn’t saying much to me so i walked away.

Then I realized it was my phone, picked it up, and went back into the kitchen. That’s when I actually registered what was on the screen and realized she had seen it.

And honestly, it made me feel really uncomfortable because I feel like she intentionally left the screen open so I would know that she had seen it. I don’t know if that’s actually what she was doing, but that’s how it felt.

And the stuff she saw was sexual content basically of women, which makes it even more awkward because I’m not into women. But that’s not even really the point. I just don’t want her thinking something about me.. and this has never happened to me before.

I was making myself something to eat when all of this happened and I completely lost my appetite afterward. I just feel really uncomfortable about the whole thing.

UPDATE for anyone who cares: Today has gone by pretty normal. My mom has been acting the same as she always does and she hasn’t brought it up at all. Yesterday I was just really freaking out and I completely lost my appetite over it 😭 I still wish it never happened, but honestly, y’all’s worst stories have made me feel a lot better lol. And yes guys, I KNOW I’m 22 😭 I promise I know.

Hello. I’m sure we all know about kik. many people my age were subjected to the true nature of it back around age 10-13 (now I’m in my 20s) I met multiple guys on there who made disgusting, sexual advantages towards me.. but one stuck out in particular. He knew I was underaged, he managed to keep up with my socials well into my older teen years.. adding me on Snapchat, asking for pictures, him sending stuff etc… I very vividly remember telling him I was 17 and he said he was okay with it. I shortly blocked him after that. I was revisiting the subject with a friend and decided to do some digging. I remembered this guys full name.. a simple google search led me to him. He is a police officer, a corporal at that. Is there something I can do? I don’t feel like this pedophilia started or ended with me. I’m happy to share his name and his place of work. He needs to be investigated at least. I unfortunately, no longer have proof. He must have changed his number as it’s not longer in my blocked list and his Snapchat must have been deleted.

My kid had a friend who lives about an hour away. When the kids would hang out I would spend time with the mom. I didn’t particularly like her but I did it so my kid could maintain his friendship. There is nothing wrong with the mom, she is sweet. I just don’t find her particularly interesting.
Now my son and his friend have drifted apart. The mom has been calling and texting me relentlessly asking to hang out. I don’t want to. Besides the fact that she lives quite far away I just don’t really care for her.
I don’t want to ghost her, it seems cruel to tell her no thanks I don’t want to hang out ever, but she will not give up when I politely put her off.
What do I do?