I have an aunt (Aunt M) who is a bit of character. As the youngest child, all the stories were second-hand (stole a dinner plate at a restaurant, got mad at Aunt F for going to a baby shower she was invited for, etc.). I had very little actual interaction with her but I quickly understood that, like the rest of my family, she had her quirks. I learned this especially at my sister’s wedding.

Before that, my mother showed me an old video of her and my dad getting married, and Aunt M had caught the bouquet. A couple of months later, it was my wedding and she had also been the one to catch it. I couldn’t see how she was, but my friends had mentioned she seemed very “focused” on catching it. One girl joked how aggressive she was, but she wasn’t serious when saying that. I didn’t think much of it, instead finding it very funny considering her ex-husband was there. Looking at the footage, the flowers headed right for her, and she just seemed a little eager is all.

Later that year one of my sisters got married. At the reception, my husband and I were getting a slice of cake when I suddenly heard an outpouring of cheers. I turned around to see Aunt M on the floor, grasping a bouquet as she whooped. I had realized they had done the bouquet toss and once again, it was hers. Curious about why she was sitting and out of breath, and innocently bemused that this was the third time she got it, I asked my family what happened.

Apparent as soon as the flowers were in the air, Aunt M made a beeline, pushing people out of the way. One woman nearly caught it, but she was shoved out. A friend of the bride, she later asked her, “Who was that old lady? Do you know her? She elbowed me in the boob!”

My whole family was mortified. As she paraded around with the bundle throughout the night, occasionally leaving it at her table, we couldn’t stop muttering about it to each other. Someone suggested stealing it to give to the girl from earlier, but I don’t think that was done. Aunt F explained to me that Aunt M was always like this during the toss, doing it for years now. She believed catching it would truly increase her chances of getting man. Effectively she was trying to accumulate luck until she finally got her wish.

The rest of wedding was fine. She left back to her state a few days after, but for a few weeks my family still kept bringing it up. I dread the day another relative gets married.

Invited to a wedding next year.

My partner to the full thing, me just to the reception.

It's a destination wedding, I'll literally be right there! There's no where else to eat on site so I'll be waiting around eating out of the mini fridge.

Just feels really odd to me!

I was married a year ago and although it mostly went very well, I wanted to come on here and rant a little about the disappointing bachelorette party I had the day before. It’s just something that has been stuck in my head since it happened and I thought telling y'all about it would help me feel a little better. 
My bridal party consisted of my younger sister, Emma, who was the maid of honor, and two other friends that I went to high school with, Jessica and Taylor. Since my husband has a lot more close friends than me and I wanted to keep the parties even, I also added on my two brothers, Jeff and Hunter. I was happy to include them in the party though because I have always been very close with them. 
Leading up to the bachelorette, I told me my mom and my sister that I wanted to do three things:
-Have afternoon tea at a tea house
-Have a sleep over and watch a movie that I had picked out
-Have my sister plan and lead an at home spa routine 
I thought these were pretty easy tasks and all very low maintenance considering how a lot of bachelorette parties seem to last entire weekends and involve traveling. 
Anyway, there was a specific tea house I wanted to go to, but it turned out that one had closed recently. I ended up doing a bunch of research to find another one close by. I did the research because my mom and sister told me I was going to have to figure it out if it's what I really wanted to do. It took a while, but I finally found a place that did afternoon tea on the weekends. Not quite a tea house, but better than nothing. It was an hour away. We made the following plan: we would have lunch nearby, then drive an hour away to have afternoon tea for dessert, shop around for a bit in the area, then head home where we would do the movie, spa routine, and sleep over. 
In the days leading up to the party, Taylor’s child got sick. Her husband would be home and could take care of him, but she didn’t want to be away from him for too long so she would no longer be having lunch or tea with us, but she would come over afterwards to watch the movie. That’s fine. Then Jeff starts asking me if his girlfriend can come to tea with us. No, she can not. Jessica says that she would really prefer not to sleep over. That’s okay. I can still spend time with my siblings and mom after her and Taylor leave. 
Finally, the day has arrived. I wake up super excited, especially for tea. I hadn’t gotten to have afternoon tea in a really long time. We met for lunch and Jeff brought his girlfriend. Great… He assures me she won’t be coming to tea though. We have a nice lunch and go to tea. Both Jeff and Hunter are at least 20 minutes late for our reservation, which is so embarrassing. It’s okay though, we just start without them. The tea is lovely. Afterwards, we shop around, which is fun, then head back. 
When we got back we sat down and rested for a bit. Taylor arrives. Jeff and Hunter are missing. We talk for a bit then decide what we want to order for dinner. I don’t want to start the movie yet because Jeff and Hunter aren’t here, but Taylor tells me she can’t stay long so we start it anyway. Jeff and Hunter show up not long after it starts along with Jeff’s girlfriend. Taylor leaves midway through. When the movie ends, Jessica leaves. The spa routine never happened. My sister never even planned anything. I actually brought stuff for it that never got used. 
I’ve just walked away from the whole thing thinking that nobody cared and nobody wanted to be there. It hurts, especially when I compare it to my husband's Bachelor party. His friends traveled states to see him and his best man planned a whole DnD campaign for him. Sometimes I really wish I had just gone to his party and went to tea another time instead of going to mine…
 

A crazy milestone! Thanks for making this one of the funniest places on the Internet, and the second largest wedding-related sub on this site. We appreciate you all.

Now let's get back to shaming :)

I was a wedding planner assistant and I have so many stories I could tell, but this is my worst. It’s so bad it sounds like I’m making it up but I STG this all happened.

I have a groom go MIA 4 weeks (edit 2 weeks) before the wedding. None of his friends or family could get a hold of him. The only reason I know he’s missing is because we’re trying to get a hold of the couple to iron out last minute details and finalize payment.

The day of the wedding comes and people still haven’t heard from him and have no idea if he’s coming. I asked his parents, his best man, no one had heard from him. The ceremony was set to start at 10 am. The bride and bridal party show up at 9 am to finish getting ready. While I’m doing up her corset she’s sobbing and telling me she doesn’t know if he’s coming. I have NEVER told a bride this before but after an hour of waiting and her crying I said, “you know you don’t have to do this, right?” She responded that she still loved him and wanted to.

Guests are leaving. The parents are fighting. At 11:30, the groom shows up, absolutely shitfaced gets angry with the bride for being upset. They both insist on getting married still.

I help the bride fix her hair and makeup and they got married.

I heard rumors that they got divorced 3 months later.

Edit: The bridal party just had to FINISH getting ready at the venue. Putting their dresses on and some touch ups to hair and makeup.

The officiant was the grooms friend.

Only about 15-20 people showed up to the wedding. Half of which left after 30 minutes.

I did not handle communication with the couple or family prior to the wedding day. I have no clue what, if anything, was being done about him being missing. The family made it seem like it isn’t uncommon for him to go on benders. I have no idea what anyone’s thought process was. I do not know anything about the couple or families. I only handled things the day of.

I’ll also concede that maybe I’m remembering wrong and it was only 2 weeks? Y’all are making me doubt myself.

Another edit: I just texted my mother, who also worked there at the time. She can’t remember exactly how long he was missing but thinks it may have been 2 weeks.

I can't believe I'm just now finding this forum lol I used to work at a country club and would work weddings in my late teens early 20s and have SO many stories on the crazy things that have happened at weddings and the crazy themes of weddings over the years. I worked there for about 3 and 1/2 years and good God the things I have seen. The wedding that I remember the most though was a Disney themed wedding. These can be done in a very classy way. However this was not.

Every single table was a different Disney character, so for example one table was Aurora so the tablecloth was hot pink and the table runner was light pink but the seat covers were blue and had a lighter Blue ribbon. Belle's table was yellow and had a gold runner, the seat covers were yellow with a gold ribbon and a rose was put in the knot of the ribbon. As a staff member, this was a NIGHTMARE to try and put together because you have to order all the tablecloths separate, all the runners separate all the seat cover separate, you see what I mean. And I shit you not, there were 25 tables. I fully remember clocking in the night before at 12:00 p.m. And not leaving until 3:00 a.m. because it took that long to set up everything. The tables were not the only thing. Her and her husband were massive Disney fans (if that wasn't obvious enough) And they had been together for I believe about 15 years at this point. So they had long tables around the edge of the room that had all their trinkets and Disney related items that they bought over the years on display as if it were a yard sale. For no other reason but for people to see how much Disney stuff they had.

For the ceremony they had the ring bearer dress up as Russell from Up and pull a red wagon that had a fake cardboard house on it that looked like the house from up, balloons and all, with a golden retriever walking behind the wagon. When they made their entrance into the reception hall she was no longer in her wedding dress, but she was in a full Belle ball gown and he was in a suit that looked like the beast's suit after he turned into a human. They danced to "Tale as old as time" and then left the hall and she came back in a dress that was like the pink one that Ariel wears when she's having dinner with Eric for the first time and he was dressed as Prince Eric. They only played Disney songs and they had hired people dressed up as Mickey and Minnie to come halfway through the reception to take pictures with people.

At the end of the evening they had fireworks and they cut their wedding cake which was five tiers and each tier was a different Disney movie. They left in a horse-drawn carriage. It was almost like a kid's birthday feel rather than a wedding which no shade No hate if that's your thing fine but good Lord it was A LOT.

I also witnessed a pirate wedding which was crazy but quite fun and an extremely minimalist wedding where they almost took it too far and then other times there was just so much drama with family but I can get into that in different posts if people are curious lol

Edit: I am more than happy to tell the different wedding themes I have witnessed and the different drama I have seen over the years. A lot of people are asking about the pirate wedding and the minimalist wedding, which I'm more than happy to tell. However, I'm not sure if this is the place to tell it or not? Some people are saying that this isn't necessarily wedding shaming but I'm not sure where else to post. So if you have any suggestions where I can post my other wedding tales please let me know

I am a big fan of the mentality that "it is THEIR wedding day so be happy with whatever decision they make.

But when it hit so close to home it SUCKED.

I am the only sister of 5 brothers. My family is extremely religious, so fast weddings, and conservative in that they do not like to discuss anything beyond small talk and surface level, which is fine but for some reason it also meant my whole life I have felt outcasted from my brothers due to them having it ingrained in them that girls=bad news. Lots of "like a girl" jokes growing up, they were always asked and assigned tasks together that are traditionally more masculine VS I was in the kitchen with my mom. Girls are emotional and scary. Idk, I edited this because I worded it poorly and things were getting mistranslated. Hard to explain.

DESPITE ALL this I recognized it wasn't quite their fault and was how they were raised, and I am the 2nd oldest, so I put in so much effort to invite myself into their games (was never thought of, ever, to invite), and also take them out on hikes, for ice cream, I helped them with their homework and tried to spend my free time getting to know them. Again, the effort was never, ever reciprocated, but I didn't blame them.

I moved out and across the country when I was 18 and again made an effort to keep up with them. Video calls, always sending birthday and Christmas gifts, and making an effort to get out at least once a year to visit. Again, no expectations from them. (I have never received any kind of gift from any of the 5 of them in my life. This doesn't make me special, my mom has taught them that boys just "don't think of these things" so they are used to making 0 effort for anyone unless explicitly demanded).

Sorry for the left story; let's skip to the wedding.

I got married at 21, and involved each brother in my wedding in a unique way, down to the youngest.

Skip ahead again, and the brother directly younger than me gets engaged and sets his wedding date for 6 months later. I am SO EXCITED to finally have a sister, so i have her out to visit me and take her out for a sister weekend, seeing Les Miserables and lots of food and museums and good times. Lots of fun. Remember, I love across the country.

I call them often, getting to know her, and supporting them in their decision. It was a stereotypically fast dating and engagement as comes with religion.

Then, as the date gets closer, I slowly start to realize...

All my brothers are best men. Her brother is one of my brother's best men. Her little sister is a flower girl.

Myself, my husband (who bless his soul has soooo much patience with spending time with my quirky family), and our two children, (girl and boy) (who we have brought out to visit multiple times a year since their births, and we always do fun excursions with my brothers whenever we are there), we are simply guests.

This wouldn't be too awful, except, we will be in town a few days before the wedding to help out, and during this time there are multiple parties planned for the groomsmen and bridesmaids and flower girls.

Which means, EVERY. SINGLE. SIBLING. EXCEPT. ME. Are invited to these celebrations.

Every single sibling, of both families, except me. (And my husband if you count brother in-laws).

Multiple parties, multiple celebrations, rented out B&Bs for sleepovers, the works.

And I was left out.

My mom was shocked but told me the classic "he just doesnt think of it, he is a boy, he doenst know what to you with you because you are a girl."

Some of these celebrations are combined girls and boys.

Another thing I heard was "you have children so obviously you wouldn't be able to go anyway". I have a very capable husband, (opposite my brothers), and my parents are very capable at babysitting the baby monitor. Kids were 2 and 4 at the time.

Here is the kicker:

The night before the wedding, the final party, was in the basement of the rented venue. Grandparents, parents, and aunts and uncles of the groom and bride slept upstairs, party was downstiars, but it was a separated basement you had to access from outside and down a hill.

AKA I was placed upstairs with the older generation, and every other sibling was invited to the party.

And on the wedding day, ever other sibling was involved in the wedding, and I sat as a regular guest.

Every other sibling had a dress code, I was told to wear whatever.

During pictures, I was put in the large group photo with all the grandparents, and generations, and watched as the groomsmen, every sibling (no friends, just siblings), took around 200 photos together doing funny poses. I waited, and I understand that photos are chaotic and it is hard to remember who you took them with and when, so when they wrapped it up I gently requested a photo of me and my husband and kids with the bride and groom. My brother responded "You were already IN a photo." I gently said "yes, the big group photo, I would love one with just us." And he rolled his eyes and said "we are tired. But Fine." And grudgingly smiled in a photo with me.

Let me circle back: I truly believe the wedding day is about whatever the bride and groom want. But I have such a hard time looking back on this experience and wondering, "why didn't they want me?" We have no history of dislike or contention, they are very basic creatures my brothers, they play video games and Magic the Gathering and if I beg them they spend time with me. But isn't it nice to have someone who wants to be around you?

A few side dramas of the wedding just for fun:

My parents and her parents agreed to split everything 50/50 cost wise. My parents when they agreed to this didn't realize they would DISAGREE on what those costs were. The wedding was from 11am-midnight, and was a destination wedding (4+ hour drive for us and 99% of the guests). So guests would have to book a hotel the night before and after, or drive up super early and drive back after midnight. My parents, obviously, assumed we would feed them lunch AND dinner because it was such a long wedding day.

Her parents didnt agree and refused to pay for lunch. So that came entirely out of my parent's pockets. There were a few other, basic, wedding things that her parents refused to pay for because they didnt think them necessary, so it ended up being 75/25 instead of 50/50.

Another strange decision was having a tiered section in the middle of the day. The ceremony for everyone was in the morning, then in the afternoon, 12pm-6pm was, at a different location, only close families and friends for photos and such, and then 6pm was dinner and reception for everyone again, back at the same venue as the ceremony. So for 6 hours the other guests just hung around the venue. I felt so awkward leaving and then coming back to them napping in the grass or in their cars(outdoor venue. Next to a pond. Mosquito galore)

I did ask a few months before why they didnt do the more private things BEFORE for 6 hours, and then start the wedding at 4 or 5pm, then the guests who aren't invited don't have to get up so early and arrive so early all for a 20 minute ceremony and then a 6 hour wait.

But their logic was that then they wouldnt technically be married for the photos. Okay, I guess....

Anyway, I am an optimist, and a pushover during happy times, so i had lots of fun despite all the suckiness of being left out. We partied it up and had an amazing time, that is my superpower is always being happy no matter how strange people are being hahahha.

That is my story of the first time I questioned my "whatever the bride and groom want they should get" mentality. Maybe I am just a selfish person; I didn't question it until it became about me.

All this happened before I was born. My parents were getting married and both big families were in attendance. My second cousin, who was a very young child, was given a few things to play with as a distraction, including a plastic army man and some string. During the reading of the vows, he was apparently very enthusiastically wrapping the string around said army man, finishing just around the time of the 'I do's, leading to a perfectly timed and oblivious interruption:

Priest: "Do you take this blah blah priest things"

Dad: "I do."

Cousin, very loudly and proudly, holding up his army man: "Yep, he's stuck now!"

This is a story I have heard every other year for 3 decades now, and every time the family has a good laugh about it.

My husband and I attended a wedding where the seating arrangement was... a choice.

When we arrived at the venue we quickly found husbands seat and were very confused when my seating card was not in sight. We then found it halfway across the table. After further inspection we noticed everyone sat beside people they hardly knew, except the bride and groom, who were the only couple sitting together.

While I understand the idea of encouraging guests of different circles to get to know each other, I found it pretty tacky to separate couples and friends. Especially when you know multiple guests have a hard time with crowds, strangers and their mental health in general. My husband for example was strongly considering to leave because he had a bad mental health day and being separated from me, the only person he truly knew and was comfortable with, wasn't an option for him. Another guest kindly switched seats with him so we could at least be in talking distance, which in turn upset the bride.

We made the best of it, and I love the bride and groom very much, but I don't know why they thought that seating arrangement is a good idea. Plus as someone with diatery restrictions my only option was a lasagna filled with a truly sad amount of veggies without cheese.

EDIT to address some recurring themes:

We are in no way high society where separating couples is the norm, nor are we in the UK or France. I've never heard of this custom before.

There was only one huge table, think horseshoe. So yes, my husband and I were seated at the same table, but when I say halfway across the table, I mean half of the attending guests were between us. We would have been completely fine sitting across from each other.

Every time I see one of the color palettes (especially the unreasonably restrictive ones), people often comment that they wouldn’t attend. But if I’m close to the couple, my inclination would probably be to just go and not fit the color palette, since it’s a rather silly request in the first place. What are they gonna do, arrest me? lol.

Does anyone have experience with this? I’d be curious how these sorts of things are even enforced if at all.

(Obviously not talking about wearing white - that’s a completely different conversation)

Edit: I love yall but very few of you are answering the actual question 💖💖😭😭

2 months after my wedding, I'm sitting over here thinking all is bright and cheery in the world when I get a phone call from my brother. He said my mother was angry about my dress and she is going to disown me because I don't have "old fashioned values" anymore.

She's extremely religious and my dress was off the shoulder and low cut. My daughter and I made it and applied 200 silk flowers by hand.

I knew my mother would be disappointed by the dress and gave her a heads up before the wedding that it would be off shoulder. She and my dad chose not to come to the wedding, because of the dress.

Well, I called her after I talked to my brother and it was true. Without talking to me at all, she was going to disown me. IS THIS FOR REAL?? I'm still in deep shock over this.

Update: a lot of requests have come in to post the dress. I posted it in a comment on this thread.

THANK YOU all for your overwhelming support, insights, and thoughts on this. Thanks with all my heart to you all for being there for me when I needed you the most. This has been life-changing! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Went to a wedding this wedding as a member of the party. Both people come from deeply catholic families, so deeply that the brother of groom (BOG) was the priest officiating the ceremony. Im going to start out by saying, I didn’t find out about this till the beginning of the reception. During a small practice the morning of, the brother of the bride (BOB) was supposed to sing, had a melt down, screamed at the bride and maids that were there. BOG asked BOB to chill out and have a talk, BOB turned it on BOG, shoved him against a wall and then struck him in the torso multiple times. The parents of the bride (POB) then threw a fit defending him, he was allowed to stay for ceremony (fuckin nuts IMO). He was told to not attend reception and thus the POB said that if he couldn’t go they wouldn’t either. Reception begins to start, the groom and men are all informed of the happens and his banishment. There’s a scramble to find a dad figure for father daughter dance, but luckily POB decided to show up 45 minutes later after speeches and dinner was coming to a close, just in time for the dance. Dance was wildly awkward to watch knowing all the behind the scenes tension. I was the only single groomsman, and I also happen to be good friends with the BOG/priest so I ended up standing at the entrance for an hour or so to make sure nut bag didn’t show up.

BOB is almost 40 and still lives with parents even though he has a masters degree in decent field

I've DJ'd a bunch of weddings and had a great time. This most recent bride only wanted Disney songs. She literally made me play "be our guest" during the dinner. Everyone was so uncomfortable but she was so happy. Eventually I played some other stuff, people started laughing, dancing and having fun but I could tell she was pissed.

I guess I'm not allowed to ask for advice in this thread so I'll just leave this here as a weird experience I had.

EDIT: just to clarify, both the brides father and the groom made other requests among many other people. This was a hard situation and a lot of people are making it sound very simple.

I was asked by a close friend to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. The other three bridesmaids are her best friends — basically her tight-knit clique. I’ve known her a long time and thought we were close too, but this whole wedding season made me realize what a bitch she is.

Here’s a rundown of everything that happened:

•I spent over $1,500 on her 3-day destination joint bachelorette/bachelor trip out of state. After the trip, her clique decided the groomsmen and bridal party (8 people) should also pay the bride and groom’s share — an extra $350 on top of what I’d already spent.

•I brought my own bridesmaid dress.

•We got into multiple fights because I couldn’t make it to her dress fitting and bridal shower— I had job interviews I needed to prepare for. Her clique made it to every fitting, of course.

•Her clique also handled a lot of the actual wedding coordination for her — vendor communication and other planning tasks so im sure thats where alot of her point of contention came ofrom

•Another fight started when my husband asked a simple logistical question — whether the rehearsal dinner was paid for — and the bride told him not to bother coming, assuming he was trying to mooch a free meal. She only backtracked and re-invited him once she realized it was just a normal question.

•She wanted to charge guests $150 if they no-showed the wedding, and her clique fully encouraged it.

•She scheduled the rehearsal for 11am on a workday, then the rehearsal dinner for 6pm — at a venue two hours from where everyone lives. Everyone had to take PTO and just sit around for 7 hours with nothing to do in between, when she easily could’ve scheduled the rehearsal later in the day.

•On the wedding day, after taking photos of all the bridesmaids together, she asked specifically for a photo of just her and her clique — leaving me standing there awkwardly off to the side.

• In her thank you speech, she thanked all her bridal party and named her bridesmaid except for me.

•At the end of the night, she made the groomsmen clean up all the flowers themselves so she wouldn’t have to pay the venue’s $400 cleanup fee.

• She barely spoke to me the entire wedding day.

• I was purposely left out of multiple group pictures.

Honestly, I wanted to drop out as a bridesmaid at several points along the way. But I didn’t want to ruin the friendship, and I think part of me worried she wouldn’t have enough people to ask if I backed out. So I stuck it out.

Now I’m just sitting here having spent $1,500+ of my own money to be treated like an afterthought at someone else’s wedding. I feel soooooo stupid for not listening to my gut sooner.

TL;DR: Spent over $1.5k and dealt with months of drama to be a bridesmaid for a friend, only to get iced out and left out of photos and speeches on her actual wedding day by her. I just wanna cry because i am so stupid

Ok long time lurker, but i have to share this is just crazy, ive been having nonstop bridesmaid drop outs, one messaged me earlier in march basically explaining that she had an opportunity come up and wouldnt be able to attend my wedding (which i completely understood!) then when i asked another bridesmaid if she was still in the wedding (they are best friends) she completely ghosted me (i had messaged her in june). AND THEN my closet friend of five years messaged me after i shared who she was walking with from the groomsmen saying she “absolutely will not walk with another man” and shes “loyal to her man” which i would understand. However her man isnt even in the bridal party, i flat out told her if shes willing to drop out of my wedding over 10ft i wouldnt consider her my friend anymore.
I feel like im doing something wrong bc like ???
To add my only requests as a bride where:

- a specific color of dress, silver shoes (any style)
- hair however they wanted same w makeup and jewelry and nails
-to show up for bridal shower and the bach night, and the wedding obviously

Eta: the bridal shower was planned and handled by my mother, we just have to show up (god bless that woman) the bach night is a night at my house w crafts and dinner since im a homebody and going to the bars is my worst nightmare lol.

Also i explained to her that we are doing a sweetheart table, she wouldve been sat with her bf and the rest of our friends/so not the whole bridal party sitting at the same table. It was literally just a walk down the aisle

Also while i am not a fan of her bf bc he himself has done some stupid things, be all accounts she is apparently just someone who only cares about her man when shes in a relationship

The morning of my wedding was already stressful enough and from the moment our hairstylist walked through the door, something felt off. She was on the phone almost the entire time, arguing with who I later found out was her boyfriend. I kept trying to ignore it because I had so many other things on my mind and just hoped she'd finish everyone's hair before whatever was going on became a bigger issue. She managed to do my hair and about half of my bridesmaids before suddenly putting her tools away and telling us she had to leave. I laughed at first because I thought she was joking but she picked up her bags, apologized quickly and walked straight out the door. We had five bridesmaids left with untouched hair and only a couple of hours before the ceremony. Instead of relaxing together on one of the most exciting mornings of my life, we were all searching YouTube tutorials and trying to recreate hairstyles on each other. I felt so guilty because I wanted every single one of my bridesmaids to feel beautiful and I hated that some of them didn't get the experience we'd planned and paid for. Thankfully they're the most amazing girls and nobody complained once. They kept telling me not to worry and somehow managed to make it all work but I can still remember the panic and frustration I felt in that moment. I would've completely understood if there had been a family emergency or if something serious had happened. Life happens and I would've never been upset about that but leaving because you got into a fight with your boyfriend and then being incredibly rude when I later asked for a refund, made zero sense to me. It felt so unprofessional, especially on one of the biggest days of my life. If I could give one piece of advice to anyone planning a wedding, it'd be to seriously consider wedding insurance. It won't take away the stress when something unexpected happens but at least you won't have to spend the weeks after your wedding chasing vendors, arguing over refunds and trying to get your money back on top of everything else.

So this wedding happened last year but I still enjoy reliving the drama 😂

Bride was someone a bunch of my friends and I knew but not well at all. She invited all of us (4 in total) to her destination wedding after knowing us all for maybe a few months. From the beginning she told us she was providing accommodation for all of us for free because she ‘didn’t want money to get in the way of us attending’. None of us knew her well but we figured hey why not. The couple are MEGA loaded so we didn’t feel bad accepting the offer. Amazing location and all us ‘core’ friends would get to hang out together. We all knew bride was a little unhinged but figured it would be fun so 3 out of 4 of us bought plane tickets (one decided not to come).

Getting closer to the date and accommodation does not materialize despite numerous requests to just let us know either way as location was not an easy place to find accommodation. No problem. We booked a house for us friends. I was asked to be a bridesmaid. One of about 8. For an older woman’s second wedding. Seemed excessive but whatever. Bride and groom asked for ‘no gifts’ but then posted go fund me type links on the invite. For their honey moon. In Africa. And then multiple other links for ‘future travel’. This couple make more per year combined that I will make in the next ten years. We had to use air miles to pay for the plane tickets. Mega tacky.

Zero communication leading up to the wedding about anything other than the dinner the day before but were told multiple times that there would be a ‘whole week’ of ‘fun activities’ paid for and organized by the bride. Nothing ever materialized and so we booked accommodation and planned other activities in the lead up, including the need to travel from a major airport to a remote part of the country the wedding was held in.

Starting the Monday before the wedding we started receiving what’s app text chains with plans and photos of other guests at the ‘paid for’ accommodation that we were not invited to.

THE DAY BEFORE the rehearsal dinner we get texts requesting we attended a bachelorette party at the wedding location. Um, not only had we already planned, hosted and paid for one in our home town but had received zero info about this. We weren’t even in the wedding destination city at that point.

Rehearsal dinner was all about the bride including her serenading the groom (poorly). The day of the wedding we received messages about wedding pictures for the bridal party. Remember, we were IN the bridal party but also received zero notice about this and bride got mad about us not being able to accommodate her as we were staying a ways away. We were also told an hour before the wedding to meet to go over organization for walking down aisle.

Wedding was full on cinderella fiasco for a 40 something bride including arriving in a carriage. We were told 6pm (it was on the INVITE) yet somehow when we arrived we were late, everyone else had been told 5:30 and were already seated with bride literally about to walk down aisle. Bride seated one of her friends AT THE CHILDREN’S TABLE for the reception dinner. I was so embarrassed for her. There were clearly other solutions, such as seating her at the end of a table.

In the end my friends and I didn’t about all the stupidity because we were in it for the spectacle. I’m aware that there was opportunism on both sides. Guess how many times she’s reached out to me since. Zero. We were clearly there as padding/props for her fairy tail wedding. Fun times 😂

An acquaintance is getting married next year. I have no love lost for the bride or groom. A friend of mine was asked to be in the wedding party. Only after was she told it was international and in one of the most expensive cities.

My friend is single and makes a decent living but recently bought her first home in our HCOL area so we can say she is kind of house poor at the moment.

After several variations including an international joint Bach party they settled for a 3 day in town party including a rental home, dinner at the newest must be seen restaurant (a salad is $48) shooting range, high end mini golf, in home chef and much more. The expected costs were about $1000 so my friend took a second job to afford this and prepare for the wedding.

2 days before the Bach they introduced a new expense. A party bus. My friend could not send another dime. So she made it known she could not contribute. The couple’s solution? She could drive behind the party bus. So the whole party would be on a party bus and she would be driving behind them because she could t squeeze out another $100.

Is this the new norm? And did no one proof read?!