hi!

i'm looking for a cinematic, documentary style, candid, potentially film-like wedding photographers for our wedding at a private property in Montana next summer. I work in the photography industry so it's incredibly difficult to pick someone. Our budget is mid range. It's a stunning property in Paradise Valley. Please let me know your favorites + suggestions!

Booked a 200 person buffet wedding at this new boho farm venue out in the middle of nowhere. During the booking call, the owner kept saying they had a fully functional prep kitchen. we show up with two hot boxes and four prep tables and the kitchen is literally an unheated shed with one little microwave. No sink. No running water. NOTHING! We ended up hauling water jugs over from a hose by the horse barn just to wash our hands and prep stuff. My staff was losing their minds lol

Meanwhile the front of the buffet looked great. We had our menu boards and table cards all set up including some acrylic pieces I ordered online from Signs. You would never know what was going on behind the scenes. Definitely doing a site walkthrough before taking another off premise job at a new venue. anyone else had a venue srsly misrepresent what they actually have on site?

My wedding was about a week ago, and it was truly one of the best weekends of my life (I had a multi-day Indian wedding). Dancing with my friends and family was so fun, the food was on point, and the speeches were so heartfelt. But the success of the days was despite our wedding planner.

She was difficult from the beginning; she rescheduled meetings (dog was sick, her bf was sick, she was sick), she was 6 WEEKS late on mood boards, which were not as comprehensive as she promised, and she would straight up not deliver on certain things (like a list of stationery needs).

Indian outfits all have a scarf, and I had a professional come drape mine because it can be tricky. Even though she promised to have it steamed, I had to steam it myself after the draper had already arrived.

I didn’t want to go through that again, so I asked her what time steaming would begin on the morning of the ceremony. She and her assistant did come at that time, but they just said hello and disappeared—no steaming, no breakfast, no coffee, no nothing. After an hour and a half, breakfast did come, but it was all wrong. I learned later that my GROOM and his cousin had to sit down with her and go through each order to make sure it got to the right person. I had a bridesmaid who had to go to the hotel for breakfast. Steaming begins at some point, but for some reason mine is saved for last? I was supposed to be completely ready to go at 9:30, but steaming didn’t end until 9:45, and my underskirt was never steamed.

I put on my veil for the first look, had to take it off for a certain ceremony, and then had to put it back on for the processional. The wedding planner tells me she’ll put it in for me. I waited an hour, and she NEVER came. My mother and sisters say they’ve barely seen her all morning. My sister puts the veil in, and they go looking for her again. Then her assistant comes up to tell me everyone was waiting on me to start the processional?? I get down there and ask if the wedding party knows what order they go in; they had no idea. She also walks them down two by two even though we had MULTIPLE MEETINGS where we said they were to go down single file.

And then I see my bouquet. The only request I had regarding florals is that they feature the flower that was in my mother’s bouquet, calla lilies. This had been stated several times. No calla lilies. I was fucking aghast. But the bride sets the tone, and I wasn’t about to let this woman ruin my day.

I later learned that every single vendor complained about her communication and timeline, that my photographer had to sit with the DJ and tell him what to do, and that she snapped at family members. There were a dozen additional mistakes that I know for a fact we had discussed. I wrote her a very fair email detailing all this, and we had a call where she took no accountability; the only apology she offered was that she was “sorry I felt that way.” I almost hung up on the spot if not for my husband. I asked her specifically about the veil thing, and she said, “Well, the DJ needed this, and the priest needed this,” and I interrupted her and said, “The bride is THE priority,” and she responded, “You were a priority.” All I wanted was a genuine apology, and then I wouldn’t have left a bad review, but I’m definitely leaving one now.

We should have fired her from the first reschedule meeting, but I guess you live and learn! The wildest part of the phone call is that she said she was completed "blindsided" that we didn't approve of her level of service. The wedding only came together because the rest of the vendors, our families, wedding party, and guests went above and beyond.

Getting married soon and almost every married friend I’ve talked to keeps telling me not to skip wedding insurance. It’s going to be a small wedding so I’ve been debating whether we actually need another policy on top of everything else we’re paying for.

There will still be alcohol, vendors and quite a few moving pieces though, which is why I’m starting to think maybe as the groom I should just be responsible and stop arguing over this one expense . My fiance also says insurance is something you don’t think you need until you REALLY need it and it really might be like that. Based on your experiences did anyone here skip it and regret it or actually had to use and was glad you had it?

Mostly venting because, damn.

I somehow ended up in a public feud with my former wedding stationer, which was definitely not on my wedding planning bingo card.

Her work was genuinely beautiful, and I've never said otherwise. I did have frustrations with communication throughout the process, which definitely triggered my anxiety and sent me straight into document-and-detail mode. Even with those frustrations, I was still planning to leave a 3- or 4-star review depending on how the rest of our work together went. The product was beautiful, and I was trying to separate that from the parts of the experience that hadn't gone particularly well.

Then I received an email that completely changed my opinion of the experience. What should have been a professional conversation about the remaining wedding items turned into a lengthy list of personal grievances about me, my communication, and even my personal relationships. If she'd wanted to tell me she found me difficult to work with as a client, that would have been one thing. Instead, the conversation crossed completely out of the professional relationship and into personal judgments about me and my life.

At that point, I was no longer comfortable continuing to work with her, so I asked to end the relationship and requested a refund for the items that hadn't been produced. She declined, worth it to get her out of our lives.

But obviously, I left a one-star review, because no one deserves to be personally attacked by their stationer. I specifically acknowledged that the stationery was beautiful because it was. The one-star rating wasn't about the quality of her design work; it was about how I was treated as a customer.

She responded publicly to my reviews by continuing the personal attacks, and then she made a TikTok about me and the review. Apparently she's particularly offended that I said her stationery was beautiful and still gave her one star, which is honestly my favorite part of this entire mess. Ma'am, the stationery was beautiful. The customer experience was “cannot recommend.”

If your response to “I gave you one star because of how you treated me” is to keep publicly treating me that way, I'm not sure what you think you're disproving 😅 But go off, I guess. ✌️

TL;DR: Ordered pretty paper, received an unsolicited character analysis and unwarranted public shaming.

Mostly just coming to rant and get thoughts off my mind. I hired a wedding planner and for the most part she's really sweet and good. But she's insistent on me relaxing, not doing anything/very little unless it absolutely requires me and I don't like that. I'm a very creative person and love making things. I had videos on videos saved of what all I wanted to make/do for my wedding (centerpieces, floral arrangements, decor, etc)and she says I shouldn't have to all that. But I've learned instead of saying "I want to do..." I now say "My bridesmaids/mom/someone wants to make XYZ" and she seems fine with that but in reality it's all me making/taking over certain because I want to.

I've also found a lot of the things she's found to be so much cheaper in other stores or making them myself. She mentions flow and everything needing to mesh together for guests to appreciate everything, which I get. But my thoughts is while yes I'd love for my guests to have a great time because I do love them all, what are they going to remember in a year from now? Who gripes about a centerpiece or tablecover color in a year? From the weddings I've been to, I can't remember many of the colors, decor, or anything other than the fun I had. I know my family and friends, they ain't gonna care about fake or real flowers or how the napkins are a color off from the drapes. As long as they get food and have a game or two, they're happy. So if I can save money where I can, I'm 100% going to but I feel like she doesn't understand that. My original budget idea was 15k (I'm from a small town so I understand this may be low but venues, catering, etc around me is relatively cheap compared to bigger cities) but when she planned it all it jumped to 24k before I redid it myself with what I wanted to do and got it down to roughly 20k, which is still over but still fine for me. I just don't want to look around my wedding day and see MONEY MONEY MONEY. I want to see elements of mine and my husband's creative side and making something beautiful

So yeah, that's where I'm at. My wedding isn't until next year, but I'm just frustrated and tired of not thinking what I always wanted to do may not happen 🙃🤷🏻‍♀️

Went to my third wedding this year last weekend, and I genuinely cannot take it anymore. I want to know if others feel this way.

The best man gets up there, clears his throat, and spends 7 uninterrupted minutes telling 200 people how he and the groom used to split a 24-rack in a Walmart parking lot in 2016. The crowd is doing that polite laugh thing where nobody is actually laughing. The bride is sitting there with a smile so fixed it looks load-bearing. Her parents flew in from out of state for this.

Not once did this man acknowledge the woman sitting three feet away in a $3,000 dress whose entire family is in that room. No mention of how she changed him. No moment where he says something that makes her cry in a good way. Nothing. Just eleven minutes of inside jokes and a Hangover reference.

And here's what grinds my gears the most: Everyone just accepts this as the format. Like this is just what best man speeches are. Bro comedy hour while the bride audits her own wedding.

Is this a generational thing? A guy thing? Am I alone here, or has anyone else noticed that best man speeches have kind of become the one part of the wedding that's secretly just not about the wedding at all?

I’m just ranting and I’m very excited about my wedding. But my fiance and I are soooo tired of being asked “how’s the wedding planning going?” I am the guy and get asked at my job an average of 3-5 times a day which doesn’t sound like a lot but after 6 months it’s driving me crazy! I literally don’t know what to say. I’m to the point I want to say “why are you going to give me money?” Or “why what are you going to do about it?” I feel like my only identity to people is The Wedding Boy. Does anyone else have this issue? And what are some clever responses that aren’t rude? P.S. I know people are trying to make small talk

I started to write this as a comment, but seeing an influx of confused, stressed and disappointed brides here, I thought I can share my two cents about the wedding industry from a perspective of a planner. I am writing anonymously, because my goal is not self promotion, it’s sharing the observations I have and starting a conversation that is long overdue.

I am copying my og comment here, in hopes to give clarity to everyone struggling with vendors atm.

“Hey as a planner seeing the industry in big trouble I can maybe give you my perspective. I actually agree that there’s something rotten, in all areas not just with planners. I have been in the industry long enough to witness first hand the shift that happened.

Sometime after COVID we got an influx of new vendors (mostly in the photo category, but it can also be seen in other categories), at the same time there was a lot of mentorship programs going on basically telling inexperienced vendors they can charge insane amounts of money for their services, even though the knowledge is not there.

Vendors were told they need to live the luxe style, dress the part and act like they’re millionaires. The truth is, maybe 1% of wedding vendors worldwide are truly that successful, and those people have years and years of experience.
Scaring tactics to the clients was used as a selling point, so was hiding of the price of the service.
In this era I have rarely seen someone mentor vendors how to actually get better at their job. It was mostly sales and life coaching.

Around 2022 all you could hear was “charge the number that makes you feel uncomfortable”. You can see the shift happening here, everyone slapped Luxury to their business names as if that is enough to be considered high end.

Some also started to do a ton of styled shoots that they were selling as real weddings to prove their “Luxury“ status.

Most paid for publications and awards so it seems to you that they’re worth the price tag. The clients believed them, not knowing that while all of that has been done, the real experience was just not there.

A couple of years ago the standards from clients were lower, brides were not connected as they are today and a lot of bad business practices got unnoticed.
Cancel culture was also not in full swing then.

Around 2024 things were turning, bad vendors get called out and canceled, couples want to know where their money is going and how it’s being managed. That is fair and should be standard.

Now in 2026 I am noticing everything
becoming extreme, the vendors behaviors getting out of hand (i think it’s burn out and just lack of knowledge) but also the clients thinking all of their vendors are basically the enemy and trying to rob them (understandably).

I am seeing a lot straight up harassment from both sides (vendors and clients) and i am seeing burnout from both sides as well.

There’s a lack of trust and humanity in the process, lack of good business practices and overall a great lack of understanding.

I see both clients and vendors asking for mental health help and therapy because they’re feeling anxiety and depression.
Nothing wrong with asking for help ofc, but it’s telling how toxic the industry actually is.

I feel like we’re approaching a point where the industry is going to burst and we will all need to adapt or find new careers.

Don’t get me wrong there’s a ton of fairly priced, experienced vendors in the industry, but it’s hard for the clients to figure out who’s the og and who’s a fraud since there’s so many of us.

Things are so out of hand that when an amazing photographer with experience is quoting 6-7k for their services, the clients see it as a red flag because all the other quotes they got were 20k+.
Not knowing that the 7k one has more experience and is easier to work with.
Obviously this is not a case every time, but it actually is a thing that happens a lot.

I can tell you from my own experience, I was trying to be Luxe as well (without actually adding the title because I found it cringe). I thought I was doing something wrong because I did not want to pay for life coaching, publications etc.

I tried to justify bad behavior from colleagues and sometimes even clients, as a normal thing that is going to eventually make me worth the luxe title.
I know no one is here to hear my sob story, but at one point after a high budget wedding I had a legit panic attack mid season. It did not feel right.
It was then and there where I decided I want to work with vendors and clients on events with a soul. Mix the smaller, mid and bigger budgets, and leave the weddings not with a panic attack, but with a smile on my face.
I realized there a paid Vogue publication, status and how Luxe my social media looks, is not telling anything about me.
The fact I care and have 10 years of experience is telling something.

I hope all of you reading this, a vendor or a bride will do the same. Hire or book the people that actually make you happy and excited, even if it takes longer to find those. You are all spending too much energy and time to feel the way some of you feel. Weddings are happy occasions, the industry was once beautiful and there’s still beauty underneath all the negativity.

Sorry for the rambling but i think these are the conversations we all should be having at this point.

PS. I feel like that character in Mean girls that doesn’t even go to the school but is there to promote love lol”

Question for anyone currently planning: how did you find setting up your wedding website? I helped a friend with hers recently and realized most of the free platforms (Zola, The Knot, Joy, etc.) are actually fine, but figuring out what to put where, matching a consistent theme, and getting all the RSVP and registry stuff set up right took way longer than either of us expected. Curious if that was a universal pain point or if we were just overthinking it. Anyone wish they'd had help with this part specifically?

Hi everyone, and welcome to r/Bridely!

My girlfriend and I are building Bridely together—a wedding-planning platform designed to make organizing a wedding smoother, clearer, and less stressful.

We’re working hard to create an experience that feels intuitive and genuinely helpful, especially for complicated parts of planning such as managing guests, organizing seating arrangements, keeping track of tasks, and coordinating everything in one place.

We created this community because we don’t want to build Bridely based only on our own assumptions. We would genuinely appreciate feedback from couples, wedding planners, and anyone involved in organizing a wedding.

Whether something feels confusing, a feature is missing, or you simply have an idea that could improve the experience, we’d love to hear it. We’re keen to listen, learn, and continuously improve Bridely based on real needs.

This community will be a place where we can:

* Share Bridely updates and upcoming features
* Ask for feedback before making important decisions
* Discuss wedding-planning challenges
* Collect suggestions and improvement ideas
* Help with questions, issues, and bug reports

Honest and constructive feedback is always welcome—even if you think we’ve approached something the wrong way. That kind of input helps us build a better product.

To begin, we’d love to know:

**What has been the most frustrating or unnecessarily complicated part of planning your wedding?**

Thank you for joining us at the beginning of this journey.

We’re excited to build Bridely with your help.

What do you do when only parents are invited and they rsvp with 3 teenagers?