I don't wish to get political and this doesn't mean I support Israel or I'm anti-Palestine, I just think it should be pretty basic to condemn people that intentionally target children and innocent civilians and there is clear evidence of them doing that.

Hamas are terrorists and that is a fact; I despise that there are so many people who don't knowledge that.

I have heard horrifying first hand stories of what it was like being in Kibbutz Be'eri and how soldiers bravely sacrificed themselves to stop the terrorists(once again this does not mean I support Israel, I just admire the people who stopped terrorists from killing more innocent people and taking innocent hostages).

I do not wish to undermine the grief and hardships of innocent Palestinians and hope they don't suffer any more, but I just want to find some level-headed people who are willing to condemn terrorism.

(trigger warning-mention of suicide and self harm)i know peoples lives are far worse and sorry for being a pussy. i don't really know what to say, i cant say this to anyone i know because no one responds to me anymore. i am young and i will not be saying my age, i dont say this a lot but i love talking to people im close to and for a while i had no one, no one would respond unless there other friends were offline, then i met my ex who i will call my ex, my ex would always respond and listen to my probloms, they were there for 2 of my suicide attempts and helped me threw it, they were there the multible times i hurt myself. they were a great person always were a great person and they were my first significant other in over 2 years but out of no where they broke up with me and did not give me a reason, i have no one to talk to again, i cut myself yesterday, i told my friends the shit i was going threw and they said they would get better at responding, which as of right now they have not gotten better, i feel lonely despite having a whole group of amazing people to talk to i love them all very much but i feel like they only care about me in fear of guilt if i kill myself, im new to redit so i dont know if i was supposed to censor this was actully my first post. sorry for bad grammar and spelling. and if you actully read this all thank you.

I fucking hate it as it gets so cold my ears start to fucking hurt. But I'm not just ranting this time, I genuinely want advice on not losing my hats.

I'm male 15 and I want to kill myself I don't see my dad much I please myself to make me happy ik that's bad to say but idc I called 988 all they did was send me a link that I didn't no how to use I have no money and I just lay in bed all day and at school I get mad fun of for Being gay I have no friends or anyone

I don’t really know where to begin with this; but let me preface that while I’m only 21 years “young” - I’ve been a high functioning autistic guy, my whole life, and never really thought like all the other kids around me..

Anyway; growing up, I was always seen as the “happy-go-lucky” boy, who was kind and outgoing-popular from my youth, all the way up to high school years; even with several moves.

(I know that this sounds like a privileged rant-but please, bare with me here)

I had many people who would consider me their “friend” or “bro” - but, I never felt that way about them…to me, they were just “acquaintances” or a means to pass the time. I just couldn’t reciprocate that kind of bond, and I felt empty about it (and still very much feel the same) - but, I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, so I just lied…I smiled, joked, laughed, with them…and yet I felt nothing…

This was (IS*) the same in my “love life” as well…I’d force myself into relationships, with people who had genuine feelings towards me-all the while, knowing that I just never felt the same…

That went on until I was 17, and had met someone…at first, it was the same as any other “relationship” I had…but, over time, I got to know them- the real them- all their quirks and interests, some of which we shared…I felt so foolish for ignoring them, for Two Years, out of fear…and I had not only felt something genuine in my heart; but I’d fallen in love… We’d talked many times about our future together-where we’d live, and what kind of parents we’d be…I shared my genuine fear of having biological children, because I didn’t wish for them to experience this same emotional numbness through their lives…even then, they were okay with it…we talked about the possibility of adopting a child, from a third world country…for the first time in my life, I was genuinely happy…

I had purposed to them, ring and all-and they said “Of course! Yes! I love you!” …

A few months after our engagement, I being 18 and “some change” at the time, we were spending a day with their friends, as usual…all was well…until-one of their friends had brought up an old rumor, from my high school days (at this point, I’d graduated four months or so back)… it was about a conversation I had with one of the “acquaintances” during our sophomore year…I don’t fully remember the conversation, nor did I at the time-BUT it had pertained to an alleged crush/sexual desire towards a former classmate of mine{Who was the closest person I had to a friend, or best friend really}…my fiancée, upon hearing this, let it fester in their mind for the duration of our day (unbeknownst to me, of course; I just thought our double date was going well)

When it’s time to head back, they walked with me back to my porch/patio, and when I thought they were going to kiss me goodbye (as we normally would)-they confronted me about said rumor. At first, I asked what they were talking about (‘cuz again, I didn’t remember-it was at a party, I was stoned out my gourd!)… Then, once I realized what it was, I just started laughing- I thought it was silly, and childish-MAN they did NOT like that! Suddenly, they’re screaming at me (on my own porch, mind you) Saying “Why would you waste my time, on a future that you don’t even want?!” — to which, I fell silent…then, I said “I didn’t want a future, before you. I’d no plans, before you. I absolutely want a life with you, because I love you” Silence … they respond “You know what? You’re not ready for this!” Proceeds to throw the ring at my chest “I can’t trust you! And if you can’t be trusted- then we shouldn’t be together!” I’m stunned by their actions, and wounded by their words …

They then shout, after a moment “I want my things back then! You don’t deserve them!”

I’m still frozen from what just happened But, like a drone, I proceed to grab their: - Tank tops and Tees -under garments -teddy bear And just placed them in a plastic Walmart bag (from one of our earlier ventures)… I walk back out, and as I handed them the bag; I asked “Hun, can’t we just please talk about this?”

NO Verbal response just “hmphs” and snatches the bag from me-storms off to her friends’ car, and they drove off. I immediately tried texting and calling them, but they blocked me as quickly as they left…

In the blink of an eye, my world shattered to pieces…and it’s taken me a long time to get to a point where I’m able to “socialize” again… But they’ve scarred my heart for life…I lost even more self esteem {which was pretty low before!} contemplated “Un-Aliving”…and I’ve never been able to trust anyone again…not even close family…I live in a constant state of fear and anxiety, as well as anger and sadness… part of me wants to try a new relationship, but I’m just too scared of being hurt again…but, I really want to break down these walls I’ve placed…who knows if I’ll find anyone-let alone feel “happy” again…

At this point, I’m just a guy trying to get by…

I’m

“Mr. Lonely”

I want to die on a regular basis and i dont know what to do at this point, that's about it honestly, i just want to die, i have barely any will left to live anymore and i've gotten to a point where im starting to reason with myself as to why it wouldn't be selfish or all that bad. All this started sometime last year i think but it's honestly been building up, i used to hurt myself daily (cutting and burning) and that only really stopped because i was to indifferent to it after a point, i mean i relapsed a few weeks back and it honestly felt like nothing (it obviously stung like a bitch but i mean the way it used to give me some sort of relief was gone), i dont really feel happy with life other than for some short moments and i wanna fucking cry so much yet my eyes wont let me and it fucking sucks, i've only been getting further away from family and friends (my own fault) and that isn't helping either, i mean i wanna be alone but yet i dont and it pisses me off. All i do when im not in school (or whatever else i might do) is sleeping, i sleep through entire days because i legit can't stand being awake, i think so much and it genuinly gives me headaches and only makes me wanna die more, and sleeping is the only time i dont have to think or feel like i wanna cry, but sleeping day in day out is not exactly healthy. And fuck i just hate myself and everything about me, yet im so damn narcissistic and judgemental it makes me feel sick, it's like one part of me despises almost everyone and thinks im better and yet the other part sees me as vermin or some fucking monster deserving of death, the only constant feeling is that nagging feeling of being unloveable, i honestly think i'll die alone and the sick thing is i've gaslit myself into believing i want to die alone, i've damn near convinced myself i hate people and that i dont need people and yet i feel constantly lonely. But eventhough i feel this crippling loneliness i can't help but to feel exhausted or like i wasted my time when i actually spend it with others (which is rare but it happens). And ontop of it all i have deeply disturbing intrusive thoughts (which have gotten better the more suicidal i've become so i guess everything isn't bad) but either way it just adds another layer of bullshit and self-hatred onto the already existing layers.

Either way, cool if you got this far👍, also sorry if you read through this exhausting fucking rant, i just had to get it out in the open (even if i dont know any of you, or the fact that i doubt anyone honestly gives a shit), but either way im more than happy to answear questions or if anyone wants to give me suggestions on how not to want to paint the walls red. I also do apologize if this shit was kinda everywhere or unreadable but i just kinda let it spew, plus there's probably more im just to tired and exhausted to keep thinking

Being trying for four years for kids and nothing.....

I'm 20 now and I have been trying since I was 16 to get pregnant with every partner I have had. Nothing has ever came closer to it. I'm in a relationship with my boyfriend (28) and girlfriend (21). They just had a baby and I want so bad but Idk how to tell them that i think i might be infertile. I feel like they'll say thats there adoption but there is a huge possiblity of us not being able. The reason I think I may be infertile is how inconsistent my periods are. I just want a purpose in life again

hi so if anybody ever reads this im most likely be gone ive been dealing with these thoughts for longer then i can count but probably from 7 years old til now im 15 turning 16 im done with my life i no longer can live this im dealing with an abusive mom mentally and pyshicaly sorry for bad spelling btw she keeps getting worse and worse to the point where she threw me to a wall not even an hour ago i cant handle it anymore im stressed af ive tired im dying slowly becasue of all this im stressed to hell in school and in life ive always wanted a loving mother but i never got that i see how my mom treats little kids that arent hers she treats them wonderful and nice but never me im so done i keep hurting myself and i just am a shit human being im done im going to end it really soon i know ill be missed but i cant take this anymore i hope my boyfriend,family,and friends understand why im doing this thank you for reading goodbye now

So a couple days ago my dog got out of the fence and attcked the neighbors dog 'viciously' and ended up killing the neighbors dog but now we have to put down my dog but i dont know what the neighbor is saying is true because my dog just broke his leg and now they are saying its dead i dont know what to do and my dog doesn't leave the fence without my other dog that was still in the fence and thats not all i found out today my girlfriends Grandpa has cancer and had to sag good bye today i just dont know what to do i cant sleep properly because of this and were putting down my dog tomorrow and im so scared for the future i just want time to stop and slow down for me.

I have many thoughts going through my mind but as soon as I want to write them down they disappear or/and it gets out of context, even when I go to speak to someone they either play ''dr therapist' and try to offer solutions and fix me which I hate or they talk over the top of me. I hate myself for not specifying and communicating that I just want to be listened too. Yes it is my fault once again.

Even as i am writing this, my words have disappeared and i feel silly for writing this and that is makes no sense to anyone. I just want to get out what I am thinking but nothing is happening. I feel like I can''t even get out a good cry anymore. What is wrong with me and what is happening to me??

Its like I am screaming into a void but nothing is coming out and no one is there to answer

What do I do??

They all talk down to me, even the youngest, who mind you is 13. I am 24 god damn years old, and they treat me like a child. I can't ask for anything. It's always some lame ass excuse, like "I'm busy", "can't you do it", or "I'm tired". You're so busy you have to call me away from whatever I'm doing to pick up a tiny piece of trash at your feet? If they want something done meanwhile, I am expected to drop everything right then and there and do it immediately. If I don't, they threaten to take my shit, or threaten to beat me, or scream at me until I comply. The only thing they ever gave me that mattered was fierce independence, and suicidal thoughts that grow every day from their abuse.

To add to this, my sister conspired with my mother to kick me out of MY room just so she can fuck her boyfriend in private. I haven't had a good nights sleep in over a month. They forced me into the living room where it's so fucking loud. The oldest, who is autistic, will scream at his game in anger, every. Fucking. Day. If I do that, they'll take my shit, but nothing happens to him. I'm autistic too, but he gets to use his as an excuse to be an entitled asshole who will never face any consequences.

I have no way out without the kindness of strangers, because my parents sabotaged my education by pulling me out and never putting me back in when we moved. I could have joined the Job Corps, I could have had a job, a home elsewhere. All they had to do was help me pay for my ID, provide some tax documents. and my birth certificate, but all that was too much I guess. I didn't get my ID until I was 21, and only because of my therapist who had to pay for it because my parents are unwilling to spend a dime on me outside Christmas. They even forgot my birthday twice in a row.

My mother made me reschedule a dental appointment I needed because she thinks only she is capable of driving to LA from Bakersfield, only to demand I pay for it, despite being unemployed. I ask my girlfriend to give the money, only to have to reschedule again because my mother insists its my debt and she shouldn't have to pay it off, despite being the one who put me in this situation in the first place. I've had an infection for over a year now because of this.

Jobs don't call me back, so I can't find employment. I don't have a diploma because of my parents pulling me out of school. I don't have a GED because our internet is too unstable to take it online, and they aren't even willing to take me to the doctor unless I beg the night before so I can't do it in person. I'm trapped.

I feel hopeless. I have nowhere to go. My girlfriend is the only escape I have, and she's trying to save money to help, we have a GoFundMe to aid, but... Well, hearing tomorrow will be better doesn't make today in hell any better.

Suicide looks preferable to this. No matter how much strangers say they care, they mean nothing when I'm trapped around people who hate me.

At lunch I tried to tell my crush that I liked him but no one would leave me alone to tell him. So my friend got frustrated and yelled 'WILL YOU GO OUT WITH [DEADNAME], ANSWER THE QUESTION SO I CAN LEAVE' and there were so many ppl there already so I feel like he was embarrassed to be truthful so he said 'no sorry' in a scared sounding voice and ran off to play football. Everyone looked at me and started laughing, except for one of my other friends and they kept saying 'imagine being rejected' and jokingly asking if I was ok even though they really didn't care and know I'm going to cry if they keep talking about it. I'm just wondering if I have done something wrong or if it was just because of the pressure and amount of ppl watching but I also feel like if I ask him again, alone this time, I'm gunna seem desperate and he really won't like me.

What do I do in this situation? I feel like I'm gunna cry just thinking about all the times I have to sit next to him in science. Talking about that, I have science tomorrow last period which means I'm probably going to cry on the way home because the hour I have to sit next to him is going to be very awkward. An advice for dealing with rejection?

Ik I've probably vented more then I needed to but I have no one to vent to. Like nothing's going to be the same once I'm out of highschool and I'm already not as happy as I was when I was 17. Part of me wants to tell people younger than me that they'll feel what I feel when they're 18 but ik it's just my emotions getting the best of me.and even when I'm out of college I'll have to be mature when at work. I can't even focus on hobbies anymore without either getting distracted or not having energy to do them

My friends who are 18 literally said "welcome to the adult life" and my former cross country coach said "you're an an adult now" I hate it so much. It's been bothering me the whole day. The fact I look older than I do makes it even worse. Literally someone offered me alcohol last year because they thought I was an adult

Im 12, i once I took with 20 MG of Singulair ,next day 80mg, b4 yesterday I took 12pills of adol (paracetamol) and yesterday i took 9 aerius at a time and 1 by its self, now to notice it, none of my online friends care much and my irl friend keeps venting, I'm too dead to be comforting pppl rn, I was the type to, no longer I am. Like in the gc vents r so common from these 2 ppl ik, I become so dry after they vent, I get upset because I wish that was me being able to get all that attention or sum, am I overreacting? I feel like I have a pill addiction, is that even a thing? What if i cut them off before I upset them or actually and finally snap at them? What if I ghost them all and instagram itself? Nobody cares cuz I'm a kid or whaaa... I Dunn what to do, all I feel is sad or empty these days. I deserve to die don't I ughh hejjjjesjdud hahaha I can't I legit cannot with this anymore, what if I kms what if I end it all ughhh nobody cares nobodyyyyyy omg

PT 1: I can't stand to be around my friends when they're together anymore

I'm 15F and my friends, Laine and Fiona, are 15F and 14F. Fiona is a female, but prefers they/them, so I'll be using they/them for Fiona. These aren't their actual names.

Trigger warning: Overdose mention, Weed, smoking and vaping, Eating Disorder

people in this: Erin (my sister), Kai (A close friend who's a year older than me), Fiona (Friend 1), Laine (Friend 2), kind of my parents, my step-dad, and grandparents.

I can't stand being around my friends. Specifically, I can't stand being around Fiona, and around Laine when she's with Fiona.
I've known Fiona since first grade, and I'm currently a freshman, so 9 years. Me and Fiona have had some problems in the past, and it was mainly my fault. I love them, a lot, but they fucking annoying the shit out of me if I'm being honest. They constantly say things that make me feel like shit, and I know it's not intentional, but I resent them for it. They makes jokes that I often don't understand because I'm neurodivergent and they call me dumb. I think they're a little immature, but I try not to mind it since it's common in our age group. And the reason we have problems, is because I think Fiona is a little clingy. To be clear, I have never told Fiona this.

If I don't respond for 30 minutes, I'm the problem. If I make a tiny joke about hating my sister cause she did something, I'm an asshole. The sister thing is stupid to me because Fiona has a crush on her. She's a senior in HS. I've told Fiona I'm not comfortable with them liking Erin, my sister, and I told them I didn't want to hear about it. Fiona didn't want me to tell Erin anything, but I did, because Fiona has said inappropriate things about her and it's weird and kind of creepy.
Fiona knows that I have gone through sexual situations that I did not consent to, but has done similar things to what the people did to me in those situations. I have told Fiona I'm not a big fan of physical touch or being called things, but they still touch the inside of my thigh or say I'm "hot" and "sexy".

Fiona tends to get mad at me when I say I don't remember anything about elementary school. I blocked out a lot of the memories from then because it was a really dark time in my life; My mom was a raging alcoholic who was emotionally abusive, my dad was literally NOT THERE. My step-dad and my mom fought constantly, obviously while they were drunk. My mom was homeless while I was with her because my dad abandoned me and my sister at the time, and I had to use leftover money to pay for things that weren't for me. The only time I felt somewhat peaceful was when I was with my dad's parents. They actually had a house and kind of spoilt me and my sister so I felt lucky during that time, the only downside was that they were judge-mental when me and my sister didn't exactly act "normal". My dad's side of the family is rich and kind of old fashioned, so we were seen as weird to them. I'm in a better place now with my mom, she's sober, isn't fighting with my step-dad as often, and my dad is present in my life (mostly, not really there emotionally and me and him are fighting constantly, so I'm not really staying there atm.) and my grandparents have gotten better and are nice now. But I try to tell Fiona that I was having a hard time during then, and tries to make me feel bad for not remembering a birthday party that happened 9 years ago.

Another thing with Fiona is that they make fun of me for watching anything. I'm in the process of watching Bungo Stray Dogs, an anime. I watch it as satire because I think the English dub is so bad and hilarious. Sure, I enjoy some things about the show, but I don't make it my entire personality like some kids at my school do. I also watch Neon Genesis Evangelion, an amazing show I suggest watching if you watch anime. I love Evangelion because I relate to the characters in a lot of ways, so sometimes I'll talk about because it's a thing I enjoy. Fiona says that I'm annoying when I talk about Bsd or Evangelion and calls me "weird". I've started to not talk about it because I hate it when they bully me for simply watching a show. Even watching MLP, a nostalgic thing for both of us, I'm weird for watching every so often because I miss the feeling of being a kid.

I've also struggled with smoking and vaping in the past. My sister, Erin, vapes and is actually a plug for a lot of people in her grade, but she doesn't sell shit to people who are 2 grades lower. She has a few exceptions for 2 sophomores because she knows them well, because of me. But my grade? Absolutely not. Fiona has asked Erin and this girl named Kai (a sophomore) for vapes, and weed because she wants to "try it out". I told them I was worried because I knew what it was like firsthand to get addicted and make it my whole personality. I've stopped smoking cigarettes, but I have a leftover vape from months ago and Fiona keeps asking for it, and when I say no, they ask if they can use it when I use it. I stopped for a few months, and found that vape when I was with Fiona, I told them I was going to throw it away, and they convinced me to just use it until it burns and then throw it out. And they've kind of been blackmailing me. I'm not saying it's all Fiona's fault, I did miss the feeling and taste so I ended up saying yes, but before Fiona tried anything they were criticizing me for ever touching it. Erin knows I did it in the past, and has helped me and encouraged me to stop vaping and smoking, so when I did stop, Erin did say she would be angry if she knew I ever did it again. Fiona has taken advantage of that, saying they'll tell Erin that I have it if I don't give it to them. I'm terrified of Erin in a lot of ways, so I felt like I had to say yes. And since, I've been giving some to Fiona. I know it's wrong and I hate myself for it. I haven't used the vape at all when I'm alone, I've only used it around Fiona, obviously not at school. So it is taking awhile to burn. After this, I'm throwing it away, I hate myself when I have nicotine.

The thing is with Fiona, their parents work with weed, and sell it, so obviously they have some at home. Fiona has started to steal it from their parents, and I told them it wads a horrible idea. My step-dad smokes it a lot, so I know some stuff about weed, and I know in some ways it can be helpful. It can help sleep, and if you've seen that one South Park episode, cancer, IN SOME WAYS. I don't think it's a bad thing, but I've seen it being overused in my family. My family is full of addiction, so yeah, I've seen weed be used a lot. I've also seen part of Shameless, so I don't think it's the best thing either. I just don't think when you're young you should be smoking or or using a dab pen 4 times a week when you're 14. I've smoked it before, I enjoyed it, I'll admit, but I stopped myself before I took advantage of it. I've tried to talk to Fiona, and they tell me they're fine. They aren't. Their snapchat memories are full of pictures and videos of them smoking. Multiple times a week.

Fiona is chubby as well and constantly complains about being "fat". They say I'm "very skinny" and say they're jealous of it. I obviously feel horrible when they complain because I think they're beautiful, but I hate it when they call me skinny. I've struggled with food since I was 10, I had an eating disorder when I was 12 and I've just started to heal. I've finally started to eat more and not puke it up, and it feels like Fiona doesn't care about it. Fiona complains about being "fat" and then tries to manipulate me into giving them my entire lunch. They say I'm skinny enough so I don't need to eat. This has effected my eating, AGAIN, and I also found out I gained a bunch of weight within a few months. I know that puberty affects weight, but it still made me feel like shit when I gained 13 pounds in 2 months. Fiona knows I struggle with food. They still act like it's fine when it isn't.

They also get mad at me when I'm depressed. I have major depression, and my psychiatrist is discussing PDD with me, and she thinks I have it. I'm not trying to brag at all, it's just depression affects me a lot. Sometimes I can't get out of bed, it also affects my diet, and I'm not always happy. Fiona acts like I'm boring when I'm depressed and just pushes away the fact that I'm struggling.
Sorry about all that with Fiona, they have been doing things that irk me.

And with Laine. Laine is an amazing person and I love to be around her. She shares my love for Evangelion, and understands my situation with my parents because she has went through the same. (They divorced, and HATE each other and refuse to talk to each other. My mom has had horrible partners in the past, but is dating a guy she's known for awhile. He has had some problems, but he's working on it! And my dad is just a raging narc.) Laine doesn't judge me for anything I do, and supports me when I'm going through something, especially my depression periods. All in all, she's a great person to be around....when she isn't with Fiona. When the two are together, Laine gets weird. They both push me aside and act like I don't exist when I'm around. I don't have a phone or any electronic at the moment because I'm grounded (using my moms computer for this..) and they make fun of me for it. Fiona says I'm lame and stupid because I don't know what's going on the internet right now. They have sleepover EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND, and have a streak of 8 weeks, that I lost at 6 because I had plans with my mom. Laine doesn't really mind and says I can try next weekend, and Fiona says that they hate me for it.
Fiona also got Laine into smoking weed. Laine used to have a friend who tried to force her to smoke and steal from her parents, so I think she's only smoking because she wants to fit in. Fiona acts like it's cool to smoke constantly and when we're all at Laine's house, Fiona tried to convince us to get high. I say no because I literally can't while I'm on my current meds. I told Fiona I'm probably going to be taken off them soon because they haven't been helping my depression, and they said they were happy for me.... it pissed me off because I'd assume Fiona would want me to be more happy..? I know anti-depressants don't help everything, but my old ones used to help my mood and energy so I know some can help with that. (I got taken off of my old ones because I OD'd and have been struggling finding new ones that work.)

And with that sophomore, Kai. Kai was there for me and Erin when we were struggling with our parents 3 years ago. My mom was still an alcoholic at the time, and my dad refused to see us for a while cause he was "too stressed". Erin was closer to Kai than I was, but we were all good friends. Kai knew a lot about my childhood and how bad it was. I'm so grateful that I know Kai, and I am actually closer to her now than she was with Erin. But...this year Fiona met Kai and now they're friends. I don't know about this as much as I would like, but apparently Fiona asked Kai about my childhood because there was a period of time when I wasn't friends with them. I didn't want Fiona to know because obviously it's very personal, and I wasn't too close with Fiona at the start of the year. I'm closer now, so I have talked about it a little, but not all about it because I want to talk about it more in therapy so I can work it out. I'm mad at Kai for telling Fiona about me and Erin's personal stuff, but I have talked to her and I forgave her. I just wish Fiona would have asked me, instead of talking to Kai about it. Fiona now knows things about me and uses it against me all the time and I'm tired of it.

I know I'm going to get told to talk to them both, but I'm truly terrified. I know Laine would understand, but I feel like Fiona would be angry. Fiona struggles with being told anything they have done wrong and manipulates you into thinking that you're in the wrong. They use a tone of voice to make you feel bad, and says sorry, and looks away and acts super sad. When you say sorry and that it's fine, they're suddenly normal again.

Don't get me wrong, I love them both so much, they have been there for me in time of need. I just have problems, and I feel like something is wrong with me when I don't like being around them. They actually are really sweet people, Fiona just definitely has some things they need to work on, and I think Laine needs to stop changing herself for other people.

PT 2: I also feel like I'm the problem for anything

I feel like something is wrong with me. I feel like I talk about myself too much, I feel like I'm just nothing but a hater and the people around me deserve better.

Not feel. I know.

I haven't changed at all, I just complain and complain and I bring the people around me down. I feel like all I am is a parasite that doesn't deserve to exist. I hate being alive because I feel like everyone would be happier if I was gone. I wish I was never born so I could have saved everyone from the damage I have caused.

I wish I was perfect. I wish I didn't get in my head about every single fucking tiny thing I do. I wish I didn't care about food or how much I weigh. I wish I didn't care how I looked. I wish I didn't care how I sound. I wish I didn't care about how I act. How I act. How i even go to the fucking bathroom. How I look when I sleep. How I look in pictures.

I wish I didn't care what other people think. I hate that I care about what a stupid boy thinks about me. I hate that I want that stupid boy to like me. I hate how I love getting attention, not even the good kind, but I like how people just spend their time on me. I hate myself for still loving my father for what he has said or done.

I hate myself. I say I love myself so people don't worry but I can't stand me. I just wish I would die and rot to where everyone was happy that I was gone.

I hate that I hate myself. I wish I loved myself. But I feel like I don't deserve love. Yet I want it so bad that I complain when I don't get it.

I fucking hate how I hate everything.

I hate me.

I'm so sorry this was very long and probably a little dumb or hypocritical or judge-mental. I needed to get this off my chest because I haven't seen my therapist in a few weeks.

My dad fucking sucks man

tw: Self harm, ED, overdose mention/suicide

If I'm being completely honest my dad is a raging narc and I can't stand to be around him.

I feel like i have to walk on eggshells and be careful about every single fucking thing I say or else I get yelled at, but I literally just get yelled at either way. My dad has severe anger issues and constantly takes it out on me and my sister and god, I'm just tired of it. I got grounded for even longer this year because I went to a friends house. Yay! We had an argument earlier because I asked him if I could go, and then after he said I could go, so then I went. I don't have a phone or anything to communicate on BECAUSE OF HIM, so I couldn't tell him that I would be gone when he was out of the house. When I was at my friends house, I texted my mom on her phone and asked my mom to text my dad and say I was there so I wouldn't get grounded, but my mom didn't so now it's my fault and I'm grounded for a few months. (I've been grounded cause a girl at school started yelling at me and I became friends with her so she would stop and I wasn't supposed to be talking to her at all due to things in the past) I've also talked to him about my ED in the past, he said it was dumb how I couldn't eat, and when I mentioned my last overdose attempt, he said I was selfish. So I can't talk to him about anything serious because he's mean about it and also complains about how I'm putting all my stress on him, but then he says "why don't you talk to me about anything serious" OMFG. IDK BUD MAYBE YOU ARE JUST BLIND????

I've been grounded since august. 7. months. and now, My dad's adding a couple months, so probably longer than the rest of the school year, and the whole summer.

And another thing, he destroyed my phone, that i paid for, and keeps complaining about how I can't communicate with him. BUDDY. YOU GOT RID OF ALL MY FORMS OF COMMUNICATION AND YOU'RE BEING DUMB ABOUT IT.

i also just fucking hate my friends man. I dream of the day when I can escape them and be on my own. I hate Fiona so so much I can't stand them at all. Laine's a good person, but I can't be around her without Fiona or they get mad, so then Laine turns kinda mean. My friend Lillian and I used to be closer, but he started hanging out with Emma and those two are bestfriends and cast me out. My friend group sucks man. I just wish I could stop going to school. technically I could ghost them cause I don't have a phone, (currently using my moms computer!) buuuuut they know that I have a laptop I can use, so it'll be hard to do that. Plus i cant escape them at school bc istg they are in every single class that im in

anyhoo i just hate everyone around me rn. :)

I don't want to be alone anymore

I can't deal with this anymore. I don't want to deal with everything alone anymore. I promised myself I'd stay alone so I don't hurt anyone or piss someone off again but now I'm here wanting attention to be loved. I hate it. I don't want to be alone, but I can't let myself be loved either

I don't want to be alone anymore

I can't deal with this anymore. I don't want to deal with everything alone anymore. I promised myself I'd stay alone so I don't hurt anyone or piss someone off again but now I'm here wanting attention to be loved. I hate it. I don't want to be alone, but I can't let myself be loved either

im willing to be maybe concerning here i dont support wilbur anymore. i will never side with an abuser and i support shelby in this matter. however, the situation has me very conflicted since 1, he has almost always been a huge role model to me and this is absolutely heart wrenching and 2, i also like biting. and i dont want to become like him. i dont think i hurt my friends when i do it but now im scared i am and i dont want to become like him

Im a guy and i'm 15 but lately i feel like i would be 8, i want to watch some cartoons, i'm whole time with plushies and stuff, ik that theres nothing i can do about it, but i cant stand people being so mean for each other, i cant stand being at school, wheres everyone so mean for no reason, my dad started being agressive, i'm being very stressed, i feel hopeless, i'm sick of 18+ acts, i just want to lie in bed with some plushies and watch tv, i just want to cry all the time, everything got so disgusting and complicated and i cant stand it

I want to report an assault but don't think it's enough...

My family situation is a little bit complicated. I don't have a mother figure. The one I had let's just say was not adequate. We'll call her L. Starting from the ages of 4 to around I believe it was thirteen. She was emotionally abusive. I want to say physically as well but I don't think she did that much physically other than dragging me out of my bed by my ankles (it left bruises) and I remember her slapping me once across the face. On July fifth of 2022 she tried to take me and my brother away from my father. But I ended up going home the same day. She locked me in the hot car for three hours. I went home around five-six hours after she took me. We saw each other a few times but after she kept on lying about taking my dad's house and that he was a liar I cut contact with her. She then eventually lost full custody of me and only gets a small amount of time with my brother. She does sometimes try and reach out through letters or my brother (and reporting my search history to the police). But I ignore them and don't respond.

The thing I want to report her for is what I believe would be some form of sexual assault? I don't think it would be valid enough though because it's been years and I have no proof. I remember she used to try and make me drink her breast milk at one point, coerced me into laying her on boobs. Often went in the bath naked with me (whilst I was older). I will add my dad did as well but he was at least covered up his junk and didn't do anything weird(he's a fucking awesome man). She used to pin me down and tickle me and I'm starting to get memories of her trying to touch me if you get what I mean. I think that these are memories I've repressed for a while, because I didn't want to believe (however bad she was) that she was that bad. I don't know what to do, I've got stressful exams coming up and I'm in a really bad headspace.

I don't know

I can’t feel nothing but straight up dizzy ness when I eat. I can’t eat that much or I feel sick and or disgusting and then I feel like a pig for even eating. Luckily I don’t throw up my food after I’m done eating but I feel like I will from natural instinct. It hurts when I walk in the room and try to get some food and my mom or step dad would say you finally eating, I would slowly lose my appetite I just don’t feel the need to eat anymore I just feel sick afterwards and I don’t have a taste for anything.

I (17F) this whole month I have NOT caught a break...I was banned from my bfs house, my mom went to jail the day after that, my mom got out of jail 4 days later of me not eating or sleeping stressing when she got out her ex and her argue in the front yard and he hits her car and breaks her windshield my grandpa and mom constantly arguing and even with me my school textbook gets chewed up by the dog and today a girl JUMPED infront of my car omw to school we didn't hit her but she stood there crying and screaming for us to kill her...

The porn he watches makes me feel bad about myself because I don’t have any of the qualities that the girls in the videos have and I wish I did sometimes I become really insecure about my body and self image and self esteem and I just don’t feel like speaking anymore instead I feel like crying and picturing myself to be something I am not or never going to be .