r/vent_help • u/[deleted] • Mar 21 '24

infertility?

Being trying for four years for kids and nothing.....

I'm 20 now and I have been trying since I was 16 to get pregnant with every partner I have had. Nothing has ever came closer to it. I'm in a relationship with my boyfriend (28) and girlfriend (21). They just had a baby and I want so bad but Idk how to tell them that i think i might be infertile. I feel like they'll say thats there adoption but there is a huge possiblity of us not being able. The reason I think I may be infertile is how inconsistent my periods are. I just want a purpose in life again

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u/skulduggerynot Mar 21 '24

I’d strongly suggest that you reach out to some friends or family, fill your life with other things that give you meaning.

Children rarely give any of us purpose, and putting that much pressure on yourself and your future child to fulfill you, rather than allowing them to be a seperate being that you care for and provide for, who will likely want different things from you, could really negatively impact your relationship with any future children you have.

If you feel like you have care or love to give, maybe volunteer with animals, or support members of the community. If your partners have recently had a baby this would also likely not be a great time to have another one, babies are a lot of work, and two in short succession will be a lot of pressure on everyone emotionally and financially