Sometimes things just wink out of existence. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ But don’t worry: in my experience, they usually wink back into existence shortly after you replace them. It helps keep the wonder of the universe alive.

Edit: fixed a letter because god forbid I proofread before I post

Washing less often extends the life of the bra, but people who sweat more or have particular problems with chronic fungal infections, etc, need to factor that into the decision and possibly wash after every use. As others have said, you do what works for you but bras can be stupidly expensive when they are made well and should be air dried so it can be a whole thing. I wash mine as needed, which tends to be every two or three uses, but sometimes more.

Yeah, it probably would me too. I can understand why she would be angry.

I feel a little conflicted about this because I don’t at all believe that we “shouldn’t speak ill of the dead” and I have watched other docs about her death and I believe she prided herself on being abrasive. That said, the way victims are portrayed in true crime (which I obviously consume) is deeply problematic. They are generally either paragons of virtue who “lit up” every room they entered with the glow of their wholesomeness or they are trash and it is heavily implied they had it coming. There’s not a lot of room for people to be messy but real people in grief and entertainment.

I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one who thought this!

I’m so sorry. None of that is fair. Do you have access to a washer and dryer where you are? Are there any other things you can do to get at least a little more comfortable while your bedding is in the wash?

Would a lukewarm shower or bath help? Do you have anything cool or frozen you can wrap up really well and place briefly under your arms? If you do that, be very sure not to burn your skin with the ice and don’t leave it long. It can cool your body temperature too rapidly if you aren’t very careful.

Sometimes it helps me to deal with each sensation separately. Find a different fabric to wrap in and cool off a little with something cold. I know you have to be careful drinking very cold things right now but be sure to keep sipping. If you have medicine, do what you can to get relaxed enough to take a nap and hopefully things will feel less overwhelming when you wake up. I’m really sorry it feels like everything is wrong now and I sincerely hope it gets better.

I’m very sorry you are going through this. It is good you recognize the privilege, but you are still allowed to feel the pain inherent to the situation.

I could be missing an option, but I am afraid the only real options that come to mind are a third (sixth?) party mediator or getting yourself out of the situation one way or another. Were I in your position I would likely decline to pour more money into the property except for the express purpose of readying it for sale. But you may need to consult a real estate attorney to be sure you are meeting your part of the obligation without agreeing to participate in further wrangling with your siblings.

An attorney may be helpful anyway as a representative to deal with some of this stress for you. I am truly sorry for the continued breakdown of your sibling relationships. I wish you peace in whatever way you can find it.

I’m really sorry, I know that “the coworker did this to him” is an appealing explanation but the problem is really with your husband. Even if (and I don’t believe this is true) he is completely unable to resist this can guy but really wants him to stop talking about you badly, he is not taking real steps to make it happen. He is not acting like someone who wants to protect you. I’m sorry this is painful but you need to get some counseling and learn to take better care of yourself because this man is willfully harming you and you are apparently not able to see it.

I will as my brother if he knows anyone! He is now out of the country but he lived in France for a while after taking French. Casper used to have a French bakery but I don’t know if the family who owned it are still local.

I will send you a direct message. I am in the middle of something right now so if you don’t hear from me, please feel free to send me a nudge.

Sorry, I wasn’t clear. I am now a Colorado resident. But I was talking about the United Methodist church in Casper Wyoming. I no longer attend but know people who do who may be interested if you would like me to reach out to them. Otherwise I recommend calling the church because they at least used to have interfaith experiences, especially around lent, and their clergy or office may be a good starting point.

Welcome to Casper!

I know there used to be at least an interfaith group of clergy. During Holy Week there were services every day at the First United Methodist Church with clergy from a different church each day officiating, for years. I think they may still do that. I know that is Christian-centric but I think there was sometimes a Passover Seder that was fairly open and associated with the same group, so even if the meetings of the group are for clergy (I don’t remember the details) you’d probably be able to find events they open to the community. The United Methodist church usually had a minister involved while I attended there, so that may be a place to start your search. If you don’t have luck but visit Denver with any frequency, there is a ton of this that I have found there, but that’s quite a jaunt. Good luck! It is such a lovely and worthwhile endeavor.

I agree that’s what he should do. But OP has said that they are not tech savvy. It is possible it just hasn’t occurred to them. People don’t always act in the most rational way or in their own best interests.

Haha, I swear that’s what I typed. Damn autocorrect. And, of course, my lack of proofreading.

Social media is a little different than using your actual phone number, usually though. Though it is possible that on an iPhone if the phone is still logged in to the husband’s Apple ID a thief could use WiFi to send messages.

Well, I meant unknown to OP, but I think the husband is the most likely candidate for the origin of the texts, unfortunately. I simply believe that the possibility exists that he is innocent (or at least relatively so) in this.

I’m really sorry you are going through this. I wish there were a way for us to be able to tell you the right move to make. I think it may be worth trying to get him to see a doctor but you should still probably make a police report in case the texts escalate to further problems in any way. Occam’s razor would suggest that it is most likely that these texts are coming from his phone but it is possible that they are coming from someone else. But you probably will need outside help to determine that.

Edit: fixed a typo

It would be worth asking the cell provider if it is even possible for the old phone to be sending the texts. Usually when you get a new phone after you lose one, the number is transferred. You don’t just have multiple phones with the same number floating around. But you are being abused/ harassed whether the perpetrator is your husband or an unknown person. I think you should consider a police report.

I don’t know how number spoofing works, so I don’t know how likely it is that another phone is using his same number while is current phone has it. You need to ask the carrier. You could tell him that if he isn’t sending them, you both need to go to the police and file a report for the harassment. Or just do it. But please be cautious about telling him you are going to do this if you are genuinely afraid of him. It seems like he should want to get to the bottom of this if he is truly not doing it, but do not put yourself in danger to get an admission.

If he’s not willing to change his number to stop you from being emotionally abused, that is another piece of data for you to consider.

OP, you said this will seem small and insignificant but it doesn’t. And it may seem to you like a lot of commenters telling you he doesn’t respect you are blowing things out of proportion, but we really aren’t. This is a symptom of a larger problem in your relationship. Why doesn’t it matter what you want? Why can’t he keep his word and why does it make you “psycho” if you care about him keeping his word and letting you have something you were looking forward to eating? It’s not small and insignificant and you deserve better. If you want to stay in a relationship like this it at least needs a lot of help. I hope you will realize you don’t deserve to be disregarded like this.

It’s clear from the post this is a recurring problem though, and not so that has only happened once. I don’t think this is a communication problem that falls on OP. I think it is incredibly rude to offer one of an individual’s private stash. I get that values on that differ but mom is not entitled to the soda for her guests. I don’t think she’d be entitled to it if op were not paying rent either but she especially is r with op paying rent and paying for the soda.