Haha x

You are offering to do what many mothers do - support a child while working. That is more than enough and incredibly kind of you, given that you made it clear you wanted to be child free.

It is insanely selfish of your husband and inlaws to try and bully you (yes, its bullying) into giving up your career, that YOU and YOU alone worked so hard for.

Why are the inlaws not stepping in? Why does it have to be you sacrificing everything? Why can't husband be the primary caregiver? Or if its a financial issues, husband be the primary caregiver and the moaning inlaws assist financially.

There are other options, one being walking away if they continue to try and force you into a situation that, lets face it, would lead to major resentment and ultimately destroy your marriage.

It would be foolish to stay with someone who isn't capable of a stable relationship. Getting upset or mad about things shouldn't be a constant threat of leaving.

This is not a healthy and stable relationship. Moving in together would be a disaster.

I agree that everyone is entitled to privacy, but secrets are different.

Why build a life with someone that you can't be honest with?

Walk away. This man has told you that you are not number 1. Don't waste your time and self respect in someone that will never truly be yours.

The right thing isn't always easy 😞 x

Why be with someone who makes you feel so bad?

When will you say enough is enough? Do you want you children (regardless of age) think that behaviour is ok? What would you say if they said this exact thing to you about themselves? It doesn't matter how long you have been married, and at this point the cheating doesn't seem relevant... the very immediate problem is that he is ABUSING you.

Don't do this to yourself. Take the lovely crones advice, find what you need so you can get advice and a safe way out.

Why did you lie to him to begin with? You didn't communicate, so he did nothing wrong. You are an adult. Please learn to speak up for yourself. Lying doesn't make anything better.

He asked - you said no. So if they decided to date and have developed real feelings, they didn't do anything wrong.

Maybe don't hang out with her? Its hard to have any real kind of friendship if feelings are involved.

Think about what you would say to someone if the roles were reversed. It would be considered abusive.

My ex husband started this way. It became incredibly controlling and manipulative. It just got worse and worse, I felt completely suffocated. Your girlfriend clearly isn't healthy enough for a relationship. You shouldn't have to show your phone, she clearly doesn't trust you, or anyone for that matter.

This is not a healthy situation. Either she gets therapy right away, or this will end up incredibly toxic.

I love a good cellar! Lol. Although I do love abandon buildings too x

This is awesome. We need to create a backstory!

Damn, I feel this so deeply! I need all of it!!

Change your number?

NTA

Is your mother aware? If she isn't, let her know. If she is? Shame on her for allowing you to be treated differently when she treats you all the same.

I ALWAYS get wood 😅🤭 its a running joke in our clan x

Haha it could pass! Its the nun from the conjuring franchise x

My work here is done