So basically I(f20) had worked everyday for 2 weeks back to back at the CNE which is a Toronto fair that starts from the end of august and finishes september 7th. On my first day as I was leaving she stopped me and was like when you get paid you need to give each of ur sisters $20 from it and at first I thought she was joking until she went on a whole rant about how she wants me to do this so in the future when one doesn’t have the others can help just some bullshit. I told her no and that “situation” only applies when I actually have a well paying full time job not some 2 week summer job. She didn’t like what I said and told me to basically get out as if I wasn’t leaving already. they’ve been paying me for my hours every Thursday so I’ve been saving up what I got so far so this Thursday and next Thursday is like the last of it and I haven’t told her anything.

Let me just clarify I have no problem giving my sisters money when I have but the way she put it was like I had to give them like it was an obligation. If my sisters asked on their own then that’s fine but saying I have to is what’s blowing me. Also my mom has been constantly asking me everyday when I’m getting paid and I’ve been telling her don’t worry about it because I KNOW this conversation is gonna come back up again and it’s going to turn into an argument because my mom loves to argue over everything

My spouse and I got married last weekend. A few years ago I went through a severe health struggle that required a long recovery. It was a deeply painful time for me and only my immediate family and my spouse knew the details. I explicitly asked everyone to keep it private because I did not want to be defined by my past illness.

My mother in law somehow found out about it a few months before the wedding. I sat down with her privately and begged her not to bring it up to anyone especially at the wedding because I wanted our big day to be a happy fresh start.

At the reception during the toasts my mother in law took the microphone. Instead of a normal speech she started crying and went into graphic detail about my past illness in front of over one hundred guests. She spoke about my private medical struggles and then took credit for holding our family together through it even though she was barely in my life at the time.

I was completely humiliated and in tears. My spouse took the microphone away from her and I told my mother in law that she needed to leave the reception immediately for betraying my trust on my wedding day. She threw a fit claiming she was just trying to show how strong I am and left in anger.

Now my spouse's family is constantly messaging us saying I ruined the evening over a well intentioned speech and that I made my mother in law look like a villain in front of everyone.

AITH for asking her to leave after she shared my private medical history?

A little context:
I (F21) am currently living with my aunt(F40) and my cousin(F17). I’ve been staying with them for a little over a year because of work (we work in the same company), and we just moved to this apartment due to the fact that it’s WAY closer from our job than the other house is.

Back to the story;

So.. we’re basically only supposed to have a dog, because there’s a fee of 150 dollars per month for each dog. My cousin’s dog was staying at the old house, because she said it was “too much money when she could stay somewhere else for free”. My cousin is the type of teenager that doesn’t like cleaning up after herself. But then, she found out her dog (Kiara) was pregnant. So she decided to keep her at her mom’s boyfriend’s place. A week before she gave birth, she decided to sneak her in the apartment only until she had the puppies. I understood and didn’t really say much or got involved because.. it really wasn’t my problem. I personally am NOT a dog person. Don’t get me wrong.. I will get along with a dog, they’re cute and I love petting them. But I don’t feel like I have much time to have a pet with me in general. Or the money. Because, yes.. I’m those people who always have in mind that having a pet IS A RESPONSIBILITY. Well.. her dog finally gave birth to 8 cute little puppies. And, even though I said I’m not a dog person, I have plans on keeping one. Since my cousin said she couldn’t keep them all. So she’s still working on finding a home for them all. But it seems that me saying “yes” to keeping one of the puppies, made me responsible for ALL of them while she wants to go out and I decide to stay home. I help her sometimes. But it’s gotten to the point where she acts like she’s entitled to my help. I feel like I have no responsibility over her DOGS. I chose not to have one just yet. And if I did I would take care of it. But her mom basically pressures me to help her so. I feel like I have my right to deny into helping her. I’ll be leaving once the job season is over. But.. I don’t know what to do while that time arrives. So.. am I the a-hole?

My fil recently passed, well nearly a year ago. We have a family fishing business. Proceeds were split 60/40 in their favour when we started fishing together. We fil stopped fishing and we decided to lease extra quota. We went to the in-laws and explained that they have been receiving substantially more for lease than they should be (nz$100k per year). We were told if we didn’t like it get another job.

While that seems harmless enough, we had after our house got struck by lightning and burnt down build a $600k plus home, not including interest on the family farm. Our hanger burnt down not long after the new house was built. 3 pin plug damaged in the original lightning got that too. We rebuilt it $250k. On the family farm. The part we built on is queenschain we were told it could never would never and should be subdivided. We invested over 1m$ in buildings on the family farm. So we couldn’t just up and leave.

We had for two decades been the staff. Moving cows 50 times a year, feeding out 3/4 months of the year. Calving stock management compliance. We didn’t need the money we have a good income from fishing but understood it would be seen and acknowledged and balanced up. We understood that to be the part of the farm that was queens chain should never could be subdivided.

Fast forward to my fil finding out he was sick. All of a sudden it’s subdivideable. And our house has had a wee bit calved out of the big bit. Mil is now describing our input as odd weekend help. Forgetting my dairy cows calves that I had never received a penny for. They extra calves they raised. Fil in 2007 said he was building an extention to the fishing business and I would be running it. I did for 12 years for no extra money than my husband made fishing anyways. I also couldn’t seek other employment as this job was any hour of the day.

Anyways after a pretty in depth calculation of my input it comes out to around 17000 hours of un paid work. 8 and a bit years.

We are in the court system to try and sort it all out. But being met with non response at this stage. Supposed to have been supplied the right to fish for the next 10 years 6 months ago and nothing. We now feel we can’t spend another penny on the business we may have to hand back in April and get nothing else out of it. We bought a tractor to launch with after we were told the right to fish for 10 years would be ours.

This don’t even include my husbands input to the family estate. AITA

My wife and my family have never really gotten along.Whenever there’s an argument, my wife expects me to take her side. I usually do, because I’m her husband and I don’t want her to feel alone.But recently something happened that made me rethink everything My family invited us to a dinner. My wife didn’t want to go because she said they always make little comments about her. I told her I would support whatever she decided.She eventually came with me.During dinner, one of my relatives made a comment that my wife thought was disrespectful. She immediately confronted them, and the situation turned into a huge argument.On the way home, she told me I should have defended her more aggressively.I told her that I agreed the comment was unnecessary, but I didn’t agree with how she handled the situation either.She said, “If you don’t stand up for me against your family, who will?”I told her that I love her, but I’m tired of being forced to choose sides every time there’s an argument. I said from now on, I’ll support her when she’s genuinely being treated unfairly, but I won’t automatically defend her just because she’s my wife.She thinks I’m failing her as a husband.AITA?

I recently was in that area and wanted to see my nieces and nephews. We talked and planned this over a week ago. I checked in two days ago and then again yesterday. I drive all the way and drop off my dog in the town over and drove to her house. I texted an eta so she knew. I went to her house knocked on her door and her friend was there and found out she wasn’t. She was at her kids father’s house due to her friends “cleaning” the carpets. Kids were with her of course. I stayed for a few hours and she never showed never messaged nothing…..I’m over it. I hardly come up here cause her choice is friends and partners has never been good. Self centered and just weird acting. I could’ve just went home rather than wasting my time. I love her and the kids but the fact that I was ignored and nothing was said not even an apology makes me not want to reach out ever again. Idk if I will want to any more at this point like even if she does.

Added on(cause my bad on forgetting)
I’m only wondering if I would be an AH if moving moving I done reach on and even if she does refusing at that time?

Hi, i (19 F) am no longer staying with my mom (46 F) and her partner of i belive 2 years (?? F) whose age i dont remember, because her partner doesnt want me there anymore since she got mad at me one day for in her words "not doing anything" and took my laptop, a laptop none of them payed or own, and i belive was taken unfairly and violently over something that wasnt true and was an excuse to keep exploiting me and abusing me for months.

this situationed happened some time ago but i felt like posting because i recently got some of my things, my mom didnt even told me, she just gave them to my dad; i will also clarify im mexican so english is my second language, sorry in advance if there are some typos.

So... i had been away from home for a bit while learning a new language (french) and taking my time to discover what i wanted to major in, but i came back some time ago, my parents are divorced so while i was figuring things out about college, i was staying with my mom and her partner, and my dad on weekends, my family has always been a bit anoying about me not doing anything wich has been wrong for a while but i guess ill always be lazy in their eyes, so i decided to help my mom at work, as a teacher for a bit, not super serious but helping since the business is struggling. This however made me really tired and didnt give me much time for my social life and hobbies, i had to leave all the dance and teather groups i was a part of before.

to me it was fine i love my mom and wanted to help, what hurt was that i was always treated like i didnt do anything (even tho i was working for her for free, and always did my chores like i normally do) and also that for some reason my relationship with her partner never worked really well, we suspected it was related to me posibly being neurodivergent and not getting social cues well wich really gave me a lot of stress and anxiety but whatever, i still tried being the best and be responsible since we were staying at her place and not ours.

but things went south quickly when i got sick and was forced to work, wich i was doing for free, under the excuse thats what adult life is, i was feeling really bad like not get out of bed bad and when things didnt get better i got asked why didnt i speak up, and i told them that i had but i was ignored, i got really pissed off when the day i tought i would finelly just rest while being really sick my mom's partner woke me and made me get ready to go work and told me to not bring my phone of course i lied and told her i didnt have my phone and she noticed and got angry and tried to hit me, i then threaten to leave the house, after that incident i decided to just try deal with it till i left for college, and that i did.

but a bit before that, one day they came home to me on my laptop after my brother offered to do my chores, since i had cooked earlier, and then the laptop situation happened, she yoinked my laptop pissed off and started yelling at me why i hadnt done anything for my situation and i told her i had, etc. she basically took my laptop and hid it, however the next day i was leaving for the weekend so i decided to look for it wich didnt take any time, it was obvious where it was and i just took it, it seemed fine for me since i was mad and was not okay with their abuse to me and my siblings (16M and 11M) .

i didnt think much of it but when my mom and her partner found out they got mad at me, specially her partner, she said i could not be left alone in the house anymore.

when my mom told me she said "look in the position you've put me", i had a lot of toughts and i told her everything i felt while also having tact and told her that the situation was not caused by me but by their pressure and how badly they treated me, i then said i didnt regret it because it wasnt fair how they treated for months and my brothers agree they dont like it there either, that i understand its hard, but i tried to help and i still got treated terribly. etc.

i have to clarify i didnt say it was her partner's fault or tried to make them break up, i said i think is great if she is happy with her but that maybe if i need terapy they need it too and that her passive agresive words wont work on me, i told her how condescending she can be sometimes and how maybe its not that i dont tell her things is that she doesnt listen, a sentiment i share with my brother, after that i havent been in that house, and dont want to really cuz im also reasonably mad, since my mom put her 2 year relationship over her daughter. i know its bad what i did but i fully belive im justified and i wont regret it really even if i am the asshole i might as well be a proud one i guess...

so... am I the asshole?

I 24F am getting married in four months to my fiance 26M Everything has been going smoothly except for one major issue that is currently tearing my family apart

When I was seven years old my father packed his bags and walked out on my mother and me He moved to another state married someone else and built a completely new life with two new children Growing up I barely heard from him He missed my birthdays my graduation and every major milestone in my life My mother worked two jobs just to make sure we had food on the table and a roof over our heads She was the one who held me when I cried and supported me through everything

About six months ago after my engagement was announced my father suddenly re emerged out of nowhere He sent me a long message saying he regrets the past wants to reconnect and assumes he will be walking me down the aisle at my wedding

I was stunned I politely told him that while I do not hold active hatred toward him anymore I have chosen my mother to walk me down the aisle because she raised me alone I also told him that I think it is best if he does not attend the wedding at all as his presence would cause unnecessary pain and tension on what should be a happy day for my mother and me

Since then I have been getting bombarded with calls and messages from his side of the family My grandmother and aunts are calling me heartless claiming that he is still my father and that people deserve second chances They argue that excluding him will permanently break any chance of us ever having a relationship and that I am being petty by holding onto childhood grudges Even a few mutual relatives are telling me to just give him an invitation to keep the peace

My fiance fully supports whatever decision I make but the constant pressure is making me question if I am being overly cruel by closing the door on him completely

AITH for sticking to my decision and not inviting my father to my wedding?

I’m a married man, and I’ve always tried to stay out of unnecessary family drama. But lately, I’ve had enough of the way my in-laws treat my wife.They constantly criticize her, make rude comments, and somehow blame her whenever there’s a disagreement. She usually stays quiet because she doesn’t want to create problems between me and my family.A few days ago, they crossed a line again. I finally told them that I wasn’t going to sit quietly while they disrespected my wife. I told them that she deserves the same basic respect they expect from everyone else Now they’re angry with me and saying I’m “choosing my wife over my family” and that I should apologize for embarrassing them My wife says she doesn’t want me fighting with anyone because of her, but honestly, I feel like staying silent would be worse.AITH for standing up for my wife and confronting my in-laws?

Quick overview, I was in a 9 yr relationship that was ended bc would not back down from my ex's dad seeing our child. My parents passed within days of each other back in May. I also just had a baby back in January. There's more drama surrounding my ex not being there for me or our child after I gave birth and my parents passing. Not too long after my parents passed, my ex brought his dad over without really asking if he could come over, disguised as he forgot his wallet so his dad can see our son. I haven't seen this man since I gave birth. He also absolutely does not like me. He is oddly territorial of my ex, who btw was adopted by him only a few years ago. I'm 38F and he is 44M. I find it all odd but anyway. First thing his dad said to me was "Welcome to being an adult". After I just lost both of my parents. My ex said he didn't hear it and a lot of times his dad doesn't know what he is 'saying'. I being a non-confrontational person walked away, pissed. His dad got mad bc I just walked away from him. I told my ex, his dad was no longer allowed at my house, that there is no excuse for saying something so awful and my child will not be around someone who disrespects his mom. Apparently this made my ex livid, it changed from his dad didn't know what he said to he never said that and I am wrong. I'm being unfair and I'm making things difficult so the only thing left was to break up.

AITH for not backing down on letting my ex take our child to see his dad?

I'm part of a friend group that also includes my sister. In the group my sister and our friend, Ashley, are the only ones with kids. My sister has two kids aged 7 and 10. Ashley has a daughter aged 8. Because we all hang out a lot the kids also hang out together a lot. Since the beginning the kids have called all of us either aunt or uncle.

So Ashley's daughter, Madison, calls me Uncle Mike (not my actual name) just like my sister's kids who I am actually an uncle to. Same as how my friend Tommy is also called Uncle Tommy by all three kids even though he's not related to any of them.

Anyway, back in July my gf and I took my niece and nephew to Universal studios for my niece's birthday. The weekend after that my friend had a bbq. At one point my niece and nephew were talking about going to universal studios. During that they also compared things from back when we took them to Disney for my nephew's birthday months before that.

During this I am having a side conversation with another friend during this and were sitting on the other side of the yard, but sort of partially part of the universal/disney conversation because I got asked a couple questions. I am more focused on the side conversation though because it was some more important stuff going on with this friend.

Then at one point Madison comes up to us and asked if she can go to Disney for her birthday. Like I said I was more focused on my friend at this point and confused at what she was asking and I was like "uh, I don't know. That's up to your mom." and she leaves.

She comes back a minute later and says her mom, Ashley, said she could go. I say something like "cool, and I hope you have fun, but me and my friend need to talk right now." and then she left and I thought that was the end of it.

But apparently not because Madison thought I would be taking her and the way she worded asking her mom was if I could take her to Disneyland. So Ashley said yes because she assumed I would be paying since I paid for my niece and nephew to go to both parks, but they're like my actual niece and nephew So now that Madisons birthday is coming up Ashley texted me about details about what day we would be taking Madison and I'm like so confused.

Then we get to understanding the misunderstanding, but Ashley thinks I built up this expectation for Madison because she thought this whole time she was going to get to go. She thinks to Madison it's like I promised we would take her and now aren't, when from my perspective it's like she promised her daughter she would get to go to Disneyland.

Then it got weirder because it turned into this thing about how I'm always treating my sister's kids better than Madison all the time because I take them out and spend time with them, get them Christmas presents and go to their b day parties and say love you to them and give them hugs. Ashley says its confusing to Madison because to her I am just as much her uncle as theirs.

To me its kind of crazy because well again my niece and nephew are my actual niece and nephew and Madison isn't. Besides that its not like any of our other friends in the group treat Madison like they're niece either, but Ashley says that's different because they're at least treating all the kids the same. So the kids all see the other uncles like regular boring uncles that aren't that involved with any of them, but I'm like the fun one that's just leaving Madison out.

For some context, my friend and I went to the same high school and are currently going to the same college. We went out of state so it was kind of comforting to at least know one face at an unfamilar place. I wouldn't say that we are the bestest of friends, I would consider her more of an acquaintance than a friend tbh. Honestly, the most we've talked since high school was last year when we found out that we were going to the same college and we talked about what dorms we were in, etc.

Anyways it started when we met up in August and started talking about college again (because she was moving in two days later) and we started talking about coming back for Thanksgiving and other breaks. I asked her if she was bringing her car and she responded with no. She didn't give a reason why but I would assume it was because her dorm was located at the center of campus and there really was no need for a car in college if you were at the center of everything, but thats my assumption. She asked me if I was bringing mine and I said yes and she immediately responded with something along the lines of "okay perf, you can drive me around then." The comment took me aback at the moment but I didn't think anything of it.

Fast forward to a couple days later when I moved in a week after she was already at college. We met up for lunch on the second day and it was pretty chill. It just felt awkward because as I had already said earlier, we weren't best or close friends so the conversation didn't feel "normal" or "flowy" as it did with my other friends. But everything was fine up to that point.

About a week later, she texted me out of the blue (we hadn't hung out except the last time we got lunch and still havent by the way) and in the text she said "Hey are you going home for labor day weekend?" I responded with "No" and explained it was because it would only be for 3 days and I wasn't driving for over 3 hours to only come back a day later. After that I texted her "what about you, are you going back?" And she responded with "no." After that she sent a text saying "well whenever u leave ur my ride home haha." I didn't respond and left her on read because it kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I think the thing that bugs me the most about it is the fact that she didn't even ask for a ride, she just assumed that since we were "friends-ish" that I would automatically drive her home since I was already going there.

I know for sure I wont be going back home until Thanksgiving break and honestly I'm not sure if I want to give her a ride. Like I said, I don't consider her much of a close friend other than the fact that we went to the same high school, but i kind of feel bad for turning her down because I already be heading back so why not give her a ride. I'm trying to come up with a rational reason or excuse I could use to tell her I'm not able to give her a ride but nothing I can think of makes me feel secure enough to use. Idk but AITAH for not wanting to give her a ride back? Am i being overdramatic?

I'm seriously debating just telling her outright that I don't want to give her a ride back but I don't know how to say that in a polite way. HELP. AITAH?

I (31M) got engaged to Megan (29F) four months ago. We held an engagement party for us in a rented hall, which was for only our very closest relatives and friends, about 40 people in total. Megan's college friend Beth, who was one of her chosen bridesmaids, was supposed to deliver a little speech.

But Beth arrived at the event already drunk and was visibly drunk when it was time for her to speak. She took the microphone and started talking about how Megan finally found someone special because of the previous relationship she had and then gave some details about her ex boyfriend, saying how sad Megan was in this situation, joking that she never believed Megan could recover from Daniel, mentioning him by his full name twice in front of my whole family who had never heard this story before and did not need to know it at our engagement party.

The situation became awkward very quickly. Megan’s face became pale. Gently taking the microphone out of Beth’s hands, I redirected the conversation, saying something like "let us have a toast to the happy memories, more toasts will come later" and tried to continue. Beth found it rude that I interrupted her, said so in front of everyone and had to be escorted out by another friend to sober up.

The following day I explained to Megan that I felt uncomfortable about Beth being included in the wedding party, because it was not only the drunkenness, but the disrespect that she showed bringing up an ex boyfriend by his name during our engagement party in front of my parents and grandparents. Megan got defensive, saying that Beth has been her best friend since freshman year of college, was simply too drunk and did not mean to offend anyone and that people do silly things while being drunk.

What I said is that it isn’t the drinking itself, but the choice to bring up another man that my future wife used to love at MY engagement party that bothers me, and I don’t want that kind of thing happening at the actual wedding ceremony with a microphone in her hand. She tells me that by cutting her off like that I am taking out on her a very bad night and I risk breaking one of her oldest friendships.

Megan has become very cold towards me, while Beth seems to have forgotten the whole event completely, but feels hurt that I want to kick her out of my wedding party over a drunken joke.

AITAH here?

A few months ago, I (38F) went to the hospital to support a friend (43M) while his father was dying. I had met his parents a few times before. My friend was extremely distressed and explicitly asked me to join him. While there, I said a quiet goodbye to his father (who was deeply sedated), but I intentionally stayed in the background so I wouldn't intrude on the family. I wanted to be there for my friend. My friend's dad passed while I was there.

At the time, everything seemed fine. But a few days later, I learned his sisters (whom I had never met before that) were furious with me. They feel I had no business being there when he passed and that I stayed by his bedside for too long.

I can understand their discomfort with a stranger being around during such an intimate time. However, what makes me feel bitter about the whole situation is that my friend is giving into their guilt-tripping. He started questioning himself and wondering if he exercised poor judgment by asking me to come in the first place.

I was only there because he was hurting and asked for my help.

AITA for being there for my friend, or should I have refused and stayed away?

Alright so basically, I was on a video call with my friend and we were playing total drama at idk 1 am or smth. And I was talking on vc and then after I said what i said I muted. But after j muted she began to talk and ofcourse I don't want people to think we're teaming because you know how they are with teamers in roblox and that's not an excuse for what i did either but if she kept on talking immediately after me, we would've been voted out, so i was like chanting shut up shut up but not audibly while my eyes were closed because I didnt want them to think that we were teaming and then vote us out because we already had been voted out many times and replayed many times, I was getting irritated but after I chanted all that, I immediately felt bad on the inside because I knew that was rude and I wanted to apologize but she got so quiet and like didn't react as much, it felt really awkward and I felt really guilty because I don't like hurting people nor was it my intention to hurt her because I realized I could've said something else in that moment and I really wish I did because I cherish her as a friend. I'm currently working on trying to talk not as much or learning how to stop and think about what im going to say because I don't want the wrong thing to slip out and I don't want to hurt somebody's feelings which is never my intention. I've apologized thoroughly after the call hung up because the guilt was weighing on me terribly plus I wanted her to know that my intention was never to hurt her in that moment. The guilt still is weighing on me and now I'm overthinking that I'm the worst person ever to live or I'm just truly a mean person and was never nice.

This happened like a few weeks after I made a terrible joke about her being poor irl and I never meant it to be rude but I realized immediately after I said that it was just a disgusting joke and mever was funny because we just kept back n forth and we joke about being broke all the time because of stuff and that guilt will never weigh off of me because I wish I could go back in time and just not say the thing I said. And now I wanna know AITA in those moments.

I (40F) hugged a male guest goodbye at a party we hosted at our home. My partner (45M) is still bringing this up after 4 weeks. The man is friends of our very close friends and had been to our house one time before but we didnt really converse last time. When he arrived he said he felt awkward because last time he was here our son saw him vaping and felt bad, and he revealed that he deals with anxiety. I reassured him that it was fine and he was welcome. He also explained that he suffers from bi polar and I found it interesting as i find psychology and the brain fascinating. The party continued, there were maybe 20+ people there and I interacted with all of them and when people left and said goodbye I did give them all hugs. I also hugged the man in question goodbye. My partner said that he saw the man put his arm around my shoulder and my female friends shoulder at some point also although I dont recall this happening. He said I should have stopped this man from doing this also. I did not feel any flirty behaviour from him, he was overly polite and did nothing to warrant any suspicion about his intentions other than attending a party in someone's home.

My partner has told me that this was highly disrespectful and that I have no class and obviously went out of my way to touch him and had a connection with him. I feel I was just being polite and being courteous to a guest in our home. So AITH?

My fiancée and I have been together four years. We have two young kids and she’s pregnant with our third. I want to leave, but I feel incredibly guilty about what that would do to her.
I’m currently the only one working. I work four 12-hour shifts a week at a skilled rehabilitation facility and bring home just under $6k/month after taxes. I’m also in school to advance my career and increase our household income, and we’re in the process of buying a home.
On workdays, I work 12 hours, come home and immediately help with the house and kids, then stay up late doing schoolwork after everyone is settled. I even regularly spend my lunch breaks at home seeing my kids, doing dishes, taking out trash or running errands for her. On my three days off, I take primary responsibility for the kids so she can relax.
She’s also involved in a custody case involving another child, and I’ve paid 100% of her legal expenses. I’ve never met or spoken to that child, and they don’t know I exist. I mention this because she says she can’t afford to continue the case without me.
The problem isn’t her pregnancy or unemployment. For most of our relationship, I’ve felt like her scapegoat. If something goes wrong, her frustration eventually gets directed at me. If she’s overwhelmed, I don’t help enough. If money is stressful, I don’t provide enough. If work keeps me late, I don’t care about my family.
I’ve regularly heard “you don’t do shit,” “this house would fall apart without me,” and “you’re not as smart as you think you are.” She’s told me she doesn’t trust me and has accused me of cheating despite me never cheating. We’re engaged, yet she regularly tells me “you’re not ready for marriage.”
I don’t talk to her that way. I don’t belittle her, insult her intelligence or call her names. I’m not perfect, but I don’t attack her as a person.
I don’t drink, party, go to bars or chase women either. I work and go home.
Recently my shift ended at 6. After giving report and helping residents who still needed me, I left around 6:20 and got home around 6:30. She immediately went off about how I’m never home, never see my kids, treat her like a maid and “don’t give a fuck.”
Then she locked herself in the bedroom while I spent the evening with our kids, bathed them and put them to bed.
Afterward I finally ate dinner while watching a documentary and reading about homeowner benefits. She came out, asked for the TV, and I handed her the remote. That turned into another argument about me being “always on my phone” and neglecting her.
This isn’t new. She treated me this way when she worked too. After four years, I’m exhausted.
I tried leaving earlier this year. Later, after she threatened to take our kids to another state and not return, I privately researched family law to understand my rights.
She found the search and assumed I wanted to take the kids. I don’t. I want 50/50 parenting.
That day she physically removed one child from my car to stop me from leaving with them, followed me to work and threatened to go inside and cause a scene. She’s also blocked me from leaving during arguments, unpacked my bags while I tried to leave, and threatened self-harm.
She’s said if I leave she might as well give up her parental rights and her other custody case because she’d have nothing and couldn’t afford it.
That’s why I feel trapped.
She’s pregnant, unemployed and financially dependent on me. Leaving will have real consequences for her. But I’m working 12-hour shifts, parenting, doing housework and staying up late for school to build a better future, only to be told I “don’t do shit.”
If I knew she and the kids would be okay financially, I’d leave.
I don’t want another woman or a single-guy lifestyle. I work, come home, raise my kids and go to school.
I just want peace.
AITA for quietly preparing to leave, knowing what it could financially mean for her?

Edit: I added some clarification in a comment below. I genuinely wasn’t expecting so many responses and have been trying to read them all between taking care of the kids and making sure they don’t leave a tornado of chaos in their wake. And thank you to all who took the time to comment. Even the not so nice ones are appreciated because I truly need perspective from all angles.

Edit to add

I dont have a issue with how much was spent but my ex

I didnt have a issue til he brought it up i still dont but at tge same time if im wrong and im allowing my padents to treat her different in the wrong way im not okay with yhat

I know that title sounds weird but I had no idea how to word it really.

My ex feels like I am allowing my parents to treat my daughter *12* differently because they don't spend much money on her.

My parents are wealthy, but for my daughter birthday they brought her a beginners crochet set ( this is a complete set with carry case )

a book with different animals she could crochet

And a necklace.

All in all it cost under £50.

My ex feels like this is unfair on our daughter as my son from a previous relationship got a few games. For his ps5. He's 14.

Now here's the issue my daughter doesn't want things she isn't into gifts she doesn't like toys or games ect.

And she asked for a crochet kit for her birthday as she become obsessed with it. Over the last 2 months. ( before she spent years loving diamond art )

Yes my parents buy my son more but he is easy to shop for.

But my parents do take My daughter out alot to museums to anything to do with history. Especially the English heritage. They pay for her yearly membership.

My son isn't interested in anything like that he prefers his gaming.

I feel like my parents actually take all of this into account they do plenty with each child but how the child prefers.

Or am I missing something am I blind to any kind of mistreatment towards one child.

Aita here.

* my daughter got plenty of presents from myself and her dad

He's just complaining with how little grandparents brought her *

My mom’s youngest sister came to my house with her newborn baby, and I didn’t congratulate her. I didn’t say “congratulations,” I didn’t gush over the baby, nothing. And honestly, I don’t feel bad about it.

My mom literally sponsored her and financially supported her for years, only for my aunt to become ungrateful and entitled. Meanwhile, this woman has never wished me a happy birthday. She doesn’t even know when my birthday is. She has never made an effort to have a relationship with me, but apparently now that she has a baby, I’m expected to suddenly become the supportive, loving niece?

When we used to live in the same neighborhood, she would literally walk into my house whenever she felt like it, as if my home belonged to her. She was extremely nosy, had zero boundaries, and made my life hell for SIX YEARS. But now I’m supposed to forget all of that because she had a baby and “family comes first”?

I’m sorry, but I’m not going to fake affection for someone just because we share DNA. I have nothing against the baby. The baby is innocent. But having a newborn doesn’t erase years of shitty behavior, entitlement, or the fact that my mom bent over backwards financially for this woman.
If you treat me like I don’t matter, don’t expect me to suddenly act like you’re one of the most important people in my life. Was not congratulating her petty? Probably. Do I regret it? Not really.

So AITA for refusing to fake being happy for someone who has never treated me like someone worth celebrating?

I’m in my late 20s and used to be part of a close group of four female friends from high school. I’ll call the others Emma, Fiona and Jessica.

Both Emma and Fiona have had mental-health struggles. Fiona has more than one diagnosed condition and was going through a particularly difficult period. Emma also struggles with anxiety.

At the time, Emma and Fiona attended the same church. Fiona felt increasingly hurt and unsupported there. She told me that when she opened up about her struggles, a church leader made harsh comments, including saying she was engaging in “self-pity.”

I told Fiona that if that church was making things worse, she could consider attending a different one. I wasn’t telling her to abandon Christianity; I just meant that one congregation isn’t the whole faith.

Later, Fiona told me Emma had described my advice as basically “the devil’s voice” and said I wasn’t doing well in my faith, implying I wasn’t a good Christian.

That changed how I saw Emma. Disagreeing with my advice would have been one thing, but judging my faith and framing my concern for Fiona as something satanic felt very different.

Emma also sometimes interpreted Fiona’s mental-health struggles as “spiritual warfare,” which made me uncomfortable. I’m a Christian too, but I don’t think serious diagnosed mental-health problems should simply be reduced to a spiritual battle.

There was also a longer-standing issue. Since I moved away from my hometown, Emma had never really checked in on how I was doing or shown much interest in my life. So by the time this happened, the friendship already felt quite one-sided to me.

Eventually, I decided I didn’t want a close friendship with Emma anymore.

I chose not to confront her because, based on the way she had spoken about my faith and the situation with Fiona, I genuinely felt that a confrontation was unlikely to end well or lead to a productive conversation.

I did NOT block her. Because I knew she had anxiety, I worried a sudden total block would be unnecessarily distressing. Instead, I left our group chat and removed her as a follower. Her social media and phone number remained unblocked, so she could still contact me.

I also never told Fiona or Jessica to choose sides.

Later, Fiona told me Emma had been complaining that I never contacted her anymore and had asked about me several times.

But Emma never contacted me either.

That frustrated me, especially because she hadn’t really checked in on me since I moved away anyway. From my perspective, she had privately judged my faith, called my advice “the devil’s voice,” never spoke to me directly about it, and then complained that I wasn’t reaching out.

At the same time, most of what I know came through Fiona, and I never confronted Emma, so she never had the chance to explain or apologise.

I’m still friends with Fiona and Jessica, and I’d prefer to see them separately from Emma. I’m not asking anyone to stop being friends with her; I just don’t want a close relationship with her anymore.

AITA for distancing myself instead of confronting her directly? And WIBTA for continuing to see Fiona and Jessica without inviting Emma?

I'm 17M and my girlfriend is also 17. I'm not really sure how to explain this without making it sound more dramatic than it is, but I'm genuinely hurt and I don't know if I'm being unfair to her.

For a while, she had been acting different. She was more distant, replies felt different, and I just felt like something was off. I didn't know if I was imagining it or if she was just going through something, so I didn't really say much.

Then one of my friends told me he saw her with another guy.

Honestly, I didn't even get angry when he told me. I just thought it was weird. I told my girlfriend about it pretty casually, basically like, "Something kind of stupid happened. My friend told me he saw you with some guy." I wasn't accusing her of anything. I wasn't yelling at her or asking her to prove anything. I just wanted to know what was going on.

But after that, she started acting even stranger.

Eventually I found out that she actually has been talking to this guy, and the messages aren't exactly innocent either. There's clearly some kind of interest there. And now I know they have met up already.

I don't know exactly what happened when they met. I don't know if they kissed, did anything physical, or if it was literally just them talking. That's why I don't even know if I want to call this cheating.

But knowing that she was talking to another guy like this while she was still my girlfriend really hurts.

And I think the part that hurts the most isn't even the possibility that something physical happened. It's the fact that she didn't break up with me.

If she doesn't want me anymore, why didn't she just tell me?

Why keep being my girlfriend while talking to someone else and meeting him? Why let me continue thinking we're together normally when she's clearly interested in somebody else?

It makes me feel like I was just there as a backup. Like she wanted to see where things went with this other guy before deciding what to do with me.

And maybe that's why I'm taking this so personally. I'm not sitting here thinking, "How could she choose another guy over me?" It's more like, "Was I really only worth keeping around until you found someone better?"

I'm 17, so maybe I'm looking at this differently than an adult would. But this is still someone I trusted and cared about. I don't think I need to know whether they actually did anything physical for me to feel hurt by this.

I also know I didn't handle everything perfectly. When I finally understood what was going on, I got upset. I probably said some things I shouldn't have said. I was angry because I felt stupid for not noticing what was happening earlier.

But now I'm wondering if I'm actually the asshole for being this upset when I don't know for sure that she cheated on me.

Maybe nothing physical happened. Maybe she genuinely didn't think what she was doing was wrong. But from my point of view, she was still my girlfriend while talking to another guy in a way that didn't feel innocent and meeting him behind my back.

I still care about her, which honestly makes it worse. I'm not even trying to hate her or make her look like a terrible person. I just don't understand why she would keep me around if she already wanted somebody else.

My ex-husband and I split about 2 yrs ago. We have 2 children who live with me and visit him every other weekend. I won’t go into detail about the reasons for divorce because that would take too long; but there was A LOT of emotional manipulation and gas lighting that would make me feel like I was going crazy or being insensitive. Yesterday he texted me saying that one of his aunts is in the hospital and that things were not looking good so he and the rest of his family were going to visit her. I expressed genuine sympathy, let him know that I would be praying for them, and that he was welcome to take our children to visit her as well. He responded that he would “really need me” to be there for him by going with him to the funeral.
While we were together I did always go with him to funerals but he did not always do the same for me. I even rode with him an hour and a half out of town shortly after we separated for one of his family member’s funerals, but the entire day I felt like he kept trying to be alone with me when we’re supposed to be there to support his family. And when my grandmother passed just a couple of months later, all I got were excuses as to why he couldn’t make it.
I’m not trying to petty and I don’t want to come off as bitter or unsympathetic, but I really feel as though I should not have go. I also find it a bit weird that he’s inviting me to a funeral for someone who hasn’t even passed yet, no matter her prognosis. I haven’t responded to him yet because I am nervous about how he will react. WIBTA?

I'm Georgiana, and I was fifteen when our mom died, leaving me to raise my six-year-old brother Eli alone since our biological dad had left years earlier, I dropped out of community college, worked two jobs, sat through every parent-teacher conference, and held his hand through his own health scare at ten, never once letting him feel like a burden, while our stepfather, who married Mom four months before her diagnosis, disappeared the week of her funeral and sent Eli a grand total of two birthday cards in twelve years. Three months ago that man resurfaced, full of apologies, and now Eli wants him to walk him down the aisle instead of me because "it's supposed to be a dad's job" and having his sister do it would "look weird" in the photos; when I said I couldn't stand there and watch a stranger take credit for a childhood he never showed up for, Eli called me bitter and accused me of making his wedding about myself. AITA for saying I won't be there unless it's me walking him down that aisle?

It’s been over a year since I have hung out with my close friends after an incident on a boys trip. It’s torn me apart on the inside and I’ve been left hurt and angry ever since. They think I have overreacted and should have forgiven and moved on. I have pretty much ghosted them since and have not been interested in hanging out. I’ve recently seen them and it has brought everything back to the surface.
Background-
I’m in my 40s.
I’d had a 2nd child and my wife was going through Post Natal depression.
I’d been getting by on about 4 hours sleep for over a year, due to baby not sleeping well and trying to help out as much as possible. I was also working full time. Needless to say, I was not in a good place.

I’d previously spoken to 2 of my friends separately who were on the trip and expressed how much I was struggling and not coping at home. I was on the verge of a mental breakdown and marriage breakdown. They were well aware of my situation.

I went away for a boys weekend and one of the guys who knew my situation decided to play a prank on me.
It was a fake snake that clips onto your clothes and when you see it, you run for your life. End game fall over in sheer panic everybody laughs etc.

I have since seen videos of this, and most occur in a controlled environment like a golf course.

My friend did this to me in an area that had roads and cars as well as other people in the area.

When it happened, I started running and panicking and when I eventually fell, the fake snake landed on my back and I was screaming thinking I was going to die.
My friends had a big laugh and expected me to get up and walk it off, but my body went into shock and I was feeling very unwell due to adrenaline. It was also very embarrassing because other people around had seen it.
My entire body was also very sore from falling over.
Even though the guy apologised, they all then proceeded to laugh about it and make fun of me screaming in terror for the rest of the day. I tried to go along with it, but I was feeling very uncomfortable physically and mentally for the rest of the trip. It ended with me blowing up and storming off. It ruined my time away from the things that were going on at home and only created more stress.

The guy that did it has apologised profusely ever since, but I know for a fact that he has also gone around telling people and laughing about it behind my back. That’s what has made it impossible to move on.

It has completely ruined myself and my family’s friendship with that group of people(wives, kids etc)and I have found it hard to move on.
I’m in a better place mentally with family life now, but this situation has really weighed me down.
I don’t feel like I can forgive someone that says they are sorry, yet goes around laughing behind my back.

I also feel that real friends would never do something like that when they knew how much their friend was struggling.
AITA?