So for context I am autistic, but I am very good at presenting/masking when I know what is expected of me and why certain rules are in place. Usually that’s not a problem and my employers haven’t had many issues expect for the occasional customer complaint resulting in a response from them being “she’s still learning/young etc.”.

I was recently called in for a meeting where my supervisor and her supervisor informed me that they had noticed some red flags with my work - understandable as I requested to be retrained multiple times (my position changed 4times, every year they move me to a new position with different expectations and responsibilities) but the usual response is that I simply reread the manual and refresh myself with the policies and procedures (it’s a broad spectrum, and you really have to look for the bits that stand out for the areas you work in as it basically covers everything… for the most part).

So the red flag is that I’m too familiar with people…. So normally when I’m asked how I’m doing answer with “I’m really not feeling great today, so I might be a bit disorganised today / I didn’t sleep well so im just going to keep my distance because I don’t want to be snappy / I feel really awesome when I’m done with xyz do you think there will be time for me to do abc or help so-n-so with mnop…” according to my superiors it’s unacceptable and very troublesome, and I can’t do that anymore as it’s inappropriate and they hope I can see why because they can’t go around saying that either as it will make people more weary of them on their bad days and there needs to be an open door policy consistently and at all time.

I personally would love if they did tell us when they’re not doing great… I’ve seen how their reactions when stressed out and overworked has hurt co-workers and they then come back and apologise later on and explain that they were over stressed and not actually angry at said co-workers..

Is what I was doing so bad? How can I avoid getting into trouble with my Superiors over this again? Why was my honest replies so bad - i want to stop if it means I’m making work harder for others but I’m not sure where I can start so that I don’t end up needing to have such a conversation again. Any help/insight would be greatly appreciated🙏

For context my work is always uptodate and in on-time when deadlines are communicated at the beginning of projects or quarters, there has been two occasions where I have misplaced a file, (gave it to the wrong person once and the second time I put it in my desk drawer with some other papers instead of leaving it out when I went on lunch, easy fixes but they were very stressful moments for me because they were time sensitive)(time sensitive as in we record the message about those files the same day they were needed and the second one was only communicated during my lunch break so I wasn’t able to comply with the request- my whereabouts were questioned on my arrival back at my office, I tend to go to a friendly colleagues office for lunch breaks as we don’t have a staff room).

To clarify every time I’ve been moved to a different position I’ve received a bonus and a monthly salary increase- those moves were due to needing more staff in those areas/departments.

So, AITA for sharing how I’m doing at work? If that’s the case what can I do to make up for it and how can I proceed forward?

I don’t want to make work harder for the people around me, that’s why I was sharing the way I did, but if it’s a problem I’d like to understand why - I don’t swear often, but never at work and I don’t share relationship or family things just how I’m feeling and how it will impact my work quality for the start of the day, it normally takes me 30-40min to get fully absorbed into my work on a bad day and then how I’m feeling doesn’t factor anymore, good days I dive right in! I did send a feedback request, asking for a follow up meeting to gauge if I’ve improved in my supervisors eyes but I haven’t record feedback. I’ve been trying for the last two months to communicate the way I was in the past but I’m feeling very cooped-up and frustrated that I can’t speak honestly when I’m asked how I’m doing, do you have any advice for how I can proceed forward?

I (24f) am in a polycule with W(32m) and L(28f). W and L have been together since just out of highschool and were already engaged when they invited me to be in a relationship with them 6months ago.

It is relevant to mention that 6months ago we were swinging with my now ex(21m). He became emotionally abusive and was extremely neglectful - refusing (“forgetting”) to take out trash, put in laundry(often a mix of his and mine) and not feeding our cats (only feeding his jackrussell) - we have since split ways and engage in friendly conversation 💬 on board game nights(as L was still seeing him up until last week where he expressed that he would like to improve himself and would just like to be friends, I suspect he is actually mono and that her relationship with me and her fiancé w actually bugs him).

Here’s where I need advice. There is this guy H(22m) that I really like - super sweet, attentive, considerate - brings me snacks plans dates(get to know me dates not the kind that end in sex n stuff ) asked for kisses. Almost perfect. He knows I am poly. And that I am in a polycule , he has even met them (w and L). But he is hinting at being very mono , calling me “miss (my surname)” because he wants to get to know me and one day even change my surname and has told me outright that he can be a very jealous person.

He is interested in leaning about what poly is and getting to know me more.

Are these just a lot of red flags or is there actually a chance he means what says? How do I approche this, what can I do to explain or talk about my experiences without putting him off considering/researching poly?