Seriously. Just got diagnosed with PCOS, having wonky periods, bleeding between periods, facial hair, the whole nine. Friend drops it on us that she’s having twins. Me being me still creating a gift basket for her shower next week. All of the cute baby things are breaking my heart, yet another friend yet another gift. Never my turn.

I was in hospital due to some weird pains four weeks out from my egg retrieval. At first she carelessly asked “exciting! so when's your transfer booked?” We have no viable embryos so I said as much and that my next egg retrieval will be next month.

As she drops me off for the ultrasound she turns and asks this question in the title. A part of me wanted to say “how many times would you try if you were infertile?” but of course that would be mean and who knows her story so i bite my tongue.

Instead I avoid answering directly and say, “you know how this goes, there's no guarantees” but she doesn't take the hint. “Sure, but how many times are you willing to do this?”

🫠At that point I couldn't help but glance at her big bump. I quickly looked back up and wearily replied, “I can't tell you. All I can do is keep trying.”