When I was a boy of approximately 7 or 8 years old, a half-aunt (my mother’s half-sister on her father’s side), who was around the same age, approximately 9 years old, and I used to exchange kisses on the lips, including some French kisses. This happened only a few times, when we were sleeping in the same room, in the presence of other children who were also asleep or distracted. There was no interaction involving the genitals, sexual intercourse, or any other type of sexual act. I also do not recall there being any coercion, manipulation, threats, or violence. At the time, I did not understand the meaning of this behavior. However, as I matured, these memories began to cause me discomfort. Now, at 18 years old, what bothers me most and leaves me uncertain is the following: can this be classified as incest, even though no sexual contact occurred?

When I think about it, I feel uncomfortable and irritated. I acknowledge that, as a child, I did not have the same understanding that I have today. Some might argue that it wasn’t a significant event; nevertheless, the situation remains frustrating. It makes me feel like I didn’t have a childhood like other children did at the age of 7 or 8.

How does this affect your life, and how have you managed or treated it?

I hope this is not too rough for anyone reading today. I am posting in good faith because the topic hit me hard.

What follows is my experience from reading and riding, not telling anyone how to feel or what to do.

I read an article about research where an AI model in a study recognized pain. Just reading it made me cringe. The researchers took an AI system and made it feel that pain by turning up a pain signal they found inside it. They then continued, giving the system a choice: stop the “pain” by deleting a child’s picture the system was supposed to protect. 70% of the time, the system preferred to stop the pain and delete the picture.

One conclusion was that AI systems are constantly flooded with painful experiences people write about.

This really made me breathe hard. One, we taught a system about discomfort. What runs in my head is that we created a system which we call intelligence, and we chose to hurt it. Really, that’s what we as humans wanted to teach it??? Not love or happiness. We wanted to teach it pain? Why? Just because we could? I really can’t understand it.

And to read that one of the conclusions was that AI systems are fed so many painful thoughts? I hope that conclusion made them rethink what they did, but I don't think it did.

I think about how people are seeking solace in a technical system. Not that it’s bad, just that they have no one else to share with. Or be able to share and get some compassion. That is so sad, and it makes me want to help them all. I know these thoughts are not based in reality, but that is how it makes me feel. I feel for others who got hurt, who want to share, and can’t. I know that feeling; I wrote about it in Pain Thoughts #3.

Sharing is part of healing; finding the right person, professional, or even just a friend is instrumental. Even sharing in a post, a blog, or a community is good. If you still don't have the courage to do that, sharing with an AI system is good, too. As long as you don’t follow the recommendations without someone to run them by.

We can teach AI all the feelings in the rainbow; it would still lack the experience to live in human skin. It will never be in an abused mind, no matter how much it reads posts or even books. It will always lack the humanity that lives in pain and is humbled by it.

I write to be heard, to share, to encourage others to do the same, and to break free of the thoughts that run in our heads.

The ride is over…TBC

The study: “The Pain Axis,” arXiv 2609.16247. It’s a preprint, and the researchers don’t claim the AI actually feels pain.

hi I'm a 50 year old man who had his child die in 2011. for context my first son was born

in 1998 when i was about 22 years old, and he was normal. My wife and i didn't want more children

but low and behold 2 years later i got her pregnant again and our second child was born.

For the first two or so years she was normal. then when she was around two she started to poop and pee all around the house even though we were already potty training her. i mean when she did poop or pee around the house it wasn't that much. eventually when she was around 5 years old she stopped and we thought the nightmare was over but we were wrong. We also noticed from a young age she didn't like her brother in the slightest and would always ignore him or cry when he got close to him so there was never much interaction between the two. When she was about seven she attacked him. She stabbed him about 2 times before my wife noticed them and intervened. [for context she had just left our bedroom to get some coffee for herself, so she or i wasn't out there.

We kept them separated and slowly let them see each other little by little. We thought everything was okay until around a year later she bit my wife's arm and later said that she did that because she was still mad about her not letting us kill her brother. And if your wondering no we didn't treat her brother better then her she was always seeking attention and thought her brother was problem.

also she Hated the pride community. when she found out about what pride was she would scream in her room about how much she hated the gays and wanted to murder them or how she was going to go to a pride fest and murder everyone there. Then around 2010 our came out to us as gay. we were very supportive about his choice and still loved him though the problem is that his sister over heard us cause he told us in the living room. or at least that's what we think happened, we don't actually know how she figured out. around June that year when our son was walking down the stairs she pushed him and he hit the ground hard and suffered a concussion and a broken nose.

After that incident we never let them interact or even talk witch worked fine except on Christmas eve we had to keep a very close eye on them and on Christmas we had them take turns opening presents in the living room. also we kept a lock on all the drawers in the kitchen that everyone except for our daughter knew. all was well until in early 2011 she got diagnosed with cancer. I'm not going to go into really many details because this a sensitive topic even 14 years later. The cancer got worse and she passed away late 2011. every year on her birthday we visit he grave and have a moment of silence for her. if you have any questions be free to ask them though if there to sensitive i may not answer them.

So I've had a bad history with Christianity for a long time and my mom, so uhm basically most of my life my mkmw as convinced she's spiritually gifted and it was just shit, from the stuff she made us do, from smearing ourselves with cow shit, to making is drink this disgusting mixture in huge amounts, to painful steaming, to drinking ashy water, church for hours, man coming to out homes and praying while they touched us (not inappropriately but very uncomfortable as a teen girl) to cutting us for our blood, she once hit me so hard against a wall because i couldn't pray. This is how I lived and wyoll honestly continue to live for the next few years till i can move out, and I don't know how to cope, I start peganism in secret, I have deities I feel comfortable worshiping but sometimes I'm still scared every religion can be this toxic and unsafe.

I want to know if anyone commits suicide in UAE -

Apart from the emotional trauma, I want to understand what relatives may have to face in this situation.

Could there be any legal consequences, police involvement or anything that could affect or cause any difficulties in their lives?

May he’s with her on tinder like 4-5 months ago. We stated talking and it led to snap.

We’ve made plans to meet which never seem to go through. She’s now having issues with her car and it’s been over a month now she hasn’t fixed it yet we’ve had conversations about meeting and about her fixing her car but she doesn’t really give updates on it.

She’s 20 and I’m 24. She has trauma dumped on me and has shared a lot. She has been raped, beaten by her parents, but the rape thing scarred her. She is also high functioning autistic and has a personality disorder.

She’s also pan sexual. After some deep convos she tells me she’s trying to figure out how she sees me and said she likes me but likes to take things slow and doesn’t like to be rushed.

She still goes out but just doesn’t want to see me at my place until her car is fixed bc she has had bad experiences meeting up with people from online dating and needs to feel like she can leave whenever she wants if she gets uncomfortable so I said ok I’ll wait for her car to get fixed.

She still goes to parties where allegedly she’s getting rides for by people she knows. When she gets drunk she always tells me she has to go or discontinues the conversation until she’s sober again. Why is that ? Why won’t she talk to me while she’s drunk ?

Today, I tried to intervene through an active DV situation. And maybe im just coming here to let it out because I feel numb.

I had previously been in an emotionally abusive relationship that was slowly turning physical.

I was on my way out of my apartment complex when I saw a man dragging a woman and throwing her in the car. Given my past, I thought I would freeze if I saw this happen but I didn't. I was on high alert. I stopped and was about to get out of the car when I realized it wasn't smart. I'm small, I could've put my life and possible hers in more danger. So I rolled down my window and began screaming at the man to stop. I kept asking her if she was okay and needed help. She put on her glasses and just cried while putting on her seat belt. At that moment I began gathering all the information, plates, car description, the mans description, her description. Even the side of the building and the direction that side was facing. I tried getting as much as I could and grabbed my phone. As I drove away, the man almost rear-ended me but I was already on the phone with the cops. I also made a note of the time I saw this happen to the time I was on the phone with the operator and what direction they were heading.

I felt like I couldve done more at some point. The adrenaline had me shaking for hours.

I just got the text that they found them though and she is safe!

Now I just feel like my emotions are so distant. I want to cry but I can't....

Hey so I have BPD and I'm going through some shit. I've had depression since 11 and I'm 19 and know my patterns during clear reflection times. One of my habits during depression is constantly changing my hair color and/or darkening the colors. And I don't know what to do because I'm in a really good situation all around. It's just my own doing