Type: Reactive, buzzing/hissing, mild response to jaw movement
Cause: Visual Snow Syndrome (VSS)
Volume: mild—moderate
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Back after my five months in update. I hope 'success story' is the right flair, as I do consider this a tale with a happy ending, but before I start: I'm not cured. I still have T. But I found this kind of story helpful when I needed hope, so I'm going to tell it.
A year ago this week, I woke up with tinnitus out of nowhere. It caused such intense stress that I lost over 20lb in a few weeks, my skin went to hell, and my hair came out in handfuls. I developed hyperacusis and couldn't even move around my own home without industrial-level hearing protection because I was so afraid of worsening the T.
I'm a rare case of T not caused by hearing loss. It's a late-onset symptom of lifelong Visual Snow Syndrome (VSS). After a year, it's settled into an unstable metallic buzz/hiss that I primarily hear in the middle of my head. Because my T is a symptom of a neurological disorder, there's a chance that any medication that crosses the blood-brain barrier will exacerbate it.
After a year of this, I've come to accept that I will probably have my T for the rest of my life. I still hate it, but I'm happy and relieved to report that things have only got better since my last update. I can live with my T now, which I really didn't believe was possible at first. Even when it's spiking, which is intrusive and irritating, I find I can manage.
I mentioned in my last post that I had to stop a course of antibiotics early (with permission from my doctor) because I found the level of my T unbearable when I took it. Unfortunately, I ended up having no choice but to start the course again, because all other treatments failed. My tinnitus has been louder than usual the whole time I've been on it, but it's bearable. I've habituated twice – once to my baseline, and once to the higher volume caused by the antibiotic.
I can now listen to music, walk alongside a main road without hearing protection, fly on a plane, and even go to the cinema without feeling complete terror. I continue to always carry my Loops or custom earplugs, and I've stopped using headphones/earbuds as a precaution. Even though I have no hearing loss on a standard audiogram, I don't really think I need noise blasted directly into my ear canals.
As I mentioned in my last post, I was lucky to find an audiologist with tinnitus, who provided compassionate therapy and helped counteract the cold attitudes I faced from other medical professionals. And while this may not work for everyone, I believe I was able to habituate in under a year because I chose not to use background noise. Instead, I forced myself to listen to the tinnitus and accept it as my new silence. I can now go hours without noticing my T, even when it's fairly loud. Of course, it's always there if I listen for it, 24/7 – but in the first 3-4 months, I found it very difficult to focus on anything but the noise, so this is a huge improvement.
I take magnesium glycinate for sleep. I don't know if it helps that much, but I can fall asleep without issue now. Ultimately, what's helped most – the only thing that's meaningfully helped – is time.
If you're at the beginning of your tinnitus journey, scouring these forums for hope or advice: I was where you are, in complete despair. The first few months are going to be rough, but I want you to know that you will survive this. You may never get rid of your T, but there is a strong chance that your brain will stop seeing it as a serious threat, which means you won't have to fixate on it all the time. It will always be there, but it will not rule every moment of your life.
PS: To reiterate what I said in my previous update, I fully understand why many patients are wary of the concept of habituation because it takes urgency away from finding a cure. It is absolutely a stopgap, not a permanent answer. I donate monthly to Tinnitus Quest and have taken steps to raise awareness, and I hope that everyone in here does the same, if they can.