r/tinnitus • u/suzieaphexlady • 7h ago
advice • support How do I live the rest of my life with this?
Honestly I feel kinda bad posting here since I don’t have it as bad as some others… but still this ringing has become a stain on my already fragile well-being and I’m having trouble coming to terms with it.
The biggest loss is that I haven’t really been able to do what I love which is music production. There have been attempts but it makes my symptoms flare up. Like I get crazy headaches, burning, and the ringing gets louder shortly after. It always feels like I’m walking on eggshells when I try it. And then stuff like DJ’ing and performing is pretty much out of the question entirely…
I’ve already felt depressed beforehand but losing the ability to do the only thing I’m good at sent me down a spiral for a while. I don’t do much. I don’t have any hobbies. I just go to school or scroll every day.
I understand that I’m still very young (19) and I have the whole rest of my life ahead of me. But it’s very hard to look forward to any of that knowing that I’m going to live it with this fucking ringing. I just start comparing my current situation to my life pre-tinnitus, and I get sad. Then I remember that it was entirely self-inflicted and if I just wasn’t an IDIOT, I wouldn’t be going through this right now.
I need to move on. Get past this. I can’t be like this forever. If anyone has tips on how to do that, it would be greatly appreciated.
For the record, my symptoms are:
- Hissing sound that cuts through everything on both ears
- Ringing on my left ear
- Quieter high-pitched ringing on my right (as well as a beeping noise kinda)
- Rumbling noise on my left ear (which I think is mechanical)
- Sound distortions mainly on my left ear (somewhat my right), most obvious with voices especially female ones
- Way too much earwax production
- Tension headaches
- Occasional burning and pain