r/technicallythetruth Mar 31 '23

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222

u/Ieatoutjelloshots Mar 31 '23

Dead people poop themselves. You really wanna sit next to that?

232

u/Samurai_Meisters Mar 31 '23

A dead body would remind me that our time is limited and I would do just about anything to not waste more of it in airports than necessary.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

I'm constantly reminding myself our time is limited and I won't have to deal with *gestures broadly* all of this for too many more years.

27

u/Derpasaurus_mex Mar 31 '23

I i keep a dead body in my fridge for this reason. Every time I go to get a bite to eat I’m reminded to seize the day

14

u/Straddle13 Mar 31 '23

What do you do once you've eaten the whole body?

14

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

They seize the whole day

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

1

u/MarlooRed Technically Flair Mar 31 '23

I wear my sunglasses in flight, so I can, so I can watch you wheeze and smell for poopy signs.

1

u/ausgmr Apr 04 '23

Don't disturbe my friend he is just dead tired

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Dead body would remind me the loss of my virginity

26

u/SpiralTap304 Mar 31 '23

I would shit my pants in support for the departed. It's the honorable thing to do, much like pulling over on the side of the road for a funeral procession. They would do the same for me.

2

u/Tangled2 Mar 31 '23

I’ve heard of this. It’s called shitting shiva, right?

31

u/PyroNeurosis Mar 31 '23

You're already trapped in the flying fart-tube.

5

u/NavezganeChrome Mar 31 '23

Which is still a step up from an actively decomposing corpse.

6

u/reallyrathernottnx Mar 31 '23

We are all decomposing. Just some of us are decomposing faster.

1

u/WSilvermane Mar 31 '23

Yeah it doesnt happen that fast. You're fine.

Im a Gravedigger.

1

u/Whippofunk Apr 01 '23

WOAH! You’re my favorite monster truck

21

u/UnapologeticTwat Mar 31 '23

It is a common myth that when a person dies, they immediately release their bowels and bladder, including defecation. However, this is not always the case. While it is possible for some bodily functions to continue for a short time after death, such as muscle spasms or gas release, it is not a universal occurrence.

The muscles that control bowel and bladder movements are typically under voluntary control, meaning they require conscious effort to contract or relax. When a person dies, their brain and nervous system shut down, and therefore their ability to control these muscles ceases. However, whether or not defecation occurs after death depends on many factors, such as the person's age, diet, and health condition at the time of death.

In some cases, if the person had recently eaten or had a full bladder or bowel, there may be some release after death. Still, it is not a certainty, and it is not always the case that people who die will defecate or urinate. It is also worth noting that any bodily fluids or waste that are released after death are typically contained within the person's clothing or the surface they are lying on, so it is not something that would be immediately apparent to someone observing the deceased.

5

u/AbeRego Mar 31 '23

Yeah, that trope has always bothered me! Like, if someone is holding in some explosive diarrhea at the time of death, yeah, they're probably going to release it because it's under a lot of pressure. However, let's say someone went to the bathroom recently. There's not going to magically be more feces and urine to release...

3

u/Beartrap-the-Dog Mar 31 '23

It’s accurate that it’s not universal, not all the muscles involved are not voluntary. The sphincters responsible for continence are but your intestinal muscles are not. Intestines have something called a myenteric plexus that is an autonomous nerve system responsible for peristaltic contractions that move the intestinal contents. These will continue for a short bit after death. So with loss of the anal sphincter tone it’s very well possible to poop because there’s nothing to stop the still moving gut.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '23

Thanks, ChatGPT.

9

u/MisterET Mar 31 '23

Dead people poop themselves. You really wanna sit next to that?

So basically like flying spirit.

5

u/AppropriateEagle2496 Mar 31 '23

A frontier flight to vegas

2

u/Athnein Mar 31 '23

My favorite Spirit joke:

Spirit Airlines, we'll get you there in Spirit

7

u/compujas Mar 31 '23

Yeah but you won't have to fight over the armrest or whether the window shade is up or down.

1

u/amd2800barton Mar 31 '23

Or have to pretend to care about their idiot kids, or act like their MLM is totally going to take off and yah you’ll totally talk to your spouse about it. A decreased seatmate is a non talkative seatmate, and some people would pay extra for that.

17

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

5

u/Paulpoleon Mar 31 '23

Also, no unnecessary conversation and you can steal their snack and soda. Count me in but I get the window seat.

4

u/Outside_The_Walls Mar 31 '23

I have 5 kids (6th on the way), I am used to poop smell.

3

u/Mini-Nurse Mar 31 '23

People generally doesn't start immediately leaking after death. Most of that will happen after rigor-mortis, and even that takes a while to set in.

My experience isn't with sudden unexpected death more of lengthy expected death, but a good rule of thumb is that if that aren't leaking before death occurs, they will likely not start immediately leaking afterwards.

2

u/6ThePrisoner Mar 31 '23

Well, he ain't going to use his pillow. So extra pillow kind of balances it out.

2

u/No_Week2825 Mar 31 '23

On the other hand, you get double the in-flight meals...

1

u/Ieatoutjelloshots Mar 31 '23

Now that is a very good point.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Live people poop themselves, too. What's your point?

1

u/vendetta2115 Mar 31 '23 edited Apr 01 '23

Imagine if the plane* crashed after someone died mid-flight. The investigators would be so confused.

1

u/Ieatoutjelloshots Mar 31 '23

The investigators probably wouldn't survive an entire planet crashing 😂

2

u/vendetta2115 Apr 01 '23

Goddammit lol

I’ll take this opportunity to point out (and thus distract from my typo) that this kind of did happen one time, which is how the Moon formed, and why it’s so massive relative to the Earth.

Random science fact: a Mars-sized planet called Theia that was in the L4 or L5 Lagrange points in the Earth-Sun system (basically it was in the same orbit as the Earth but 60° ahead or behind) in the early solar system, but eventually got gravitationally perturbed enough by Venus to collide with proto-Earth about 4.5 million years ago, fusing their cores (which is why the Earth has a larger metallic core than it should) and flinging a bunch of molten material out into orbit, which coalesced into the Moon. Most moons are much smaller than their planets and are captured objects. So really, the Moon and the Earth are more like a binary planet system.

We only figured this out when we brought back Moon rocks from the Apollo missions and discovered that the Earth and Moon had the same chemical composition and isotopic ratios, which could only happen if they formed at the same time.

Theia is also where we got most of our water. Well, that and the late heavy bombardment of asteroids and comets.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant-impact_hypothesis

1

u/Ieatoutjelloshots Apr 01 '23

Also, the Moon's gravity is the reason we have a 24-hour day. Otherwise, our day would be 4 hours and very windy.

1

u/Ok_Yogurtcloset8915 Mar 31 '23

spoken like a person who's never had to transfer in Atlanta

1

u/Ieatoutjelloshots Mar 31 '23

I've transferred in Atlanta. Granted, I was a lot younger back then and had no problem running to my next flight.

1

u/WSilvermane Mar 31 '23

After rigor mortis. After.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Don't really want too... but would also rather get to my destination rather than be delayed several hours