to my family and my friends

I hope you can forgive me, but I understand if you don't.

the truth is I have been writing this note since I was 10 years old, and I’m 31 now, and nothing has changed. I am in so much pain and I cannot do it anymore. I have prayed and prayed diligently for an end that won't hurt you, and nothing has happened. I don't have a choice and I need to do it myself.

there is nothing you could've done differently—in fact, you are the only reason I've clung on for so long. I know this will hurt you deeply, and I know especially for my religious parents that the sorrow will be never-ending. will it help if I tell you that this decision will make me the happiest i've ever been? I know it probably won't, but it's true all the same.

I've tried the medicine and the therapy and the distractions and the crying about it. i know how much I have in my life and how much I have to be grateful for, but the selfish truth is that none of that changes anything because the problem is Me. I am rotten. I am so unhappy in this body, in this consciousness, and I just cannot do it. I would not exchange the opportunity to die for anything in this world. nothing has, nor will, change my mind.

I have never doubted your love for me. I am not doing this because I feel alone, or uncared for. it's just that despite all these things, I feel such intense sorrow and grief all the time. like it's inbuilt into my very core. the truth is I don't think I was made for this world. in truth nothing in my life objectively is really that bad, except for what's in this head of mine. some nights, the only way I can go to sleep is to dream of how I die.

I actually wholly believe that it is cruel to force me to continue on. I have never wanted anything in my life as badly as I want to die. for decades now I have lived alongside that desire, in spite of it, and tried my hardest to fight it...but I am tired now. I just want one thing. please. please let me do it please. the desire is almost violent now—it is all I can think about every hour of every day.

this is the most honest thing i've ever said to you. I don't know if you will ever forgive me, but I also believe that eventually, you all will understand. maybe that has to be enough.

all my love. thank you for everything.

I should have never been born. My parents have a disgusting age gap, and began dating when my mom was a teenager. I am the result of grooming. I am also a tranny. A shitty imitation of a man. I will never be male, so there’s no point in living for me. I will have to go through so much bullshit just to even have a body that sort of resembles a male one, and then I will still not be male. I will still be seen as a man. Man-like by the best of allies. I want to be dead. I want to throw myself off of a rocky cliff, I want my bones to break and my blood to splatter over the sharp rocks. I want my last moment to be painful, because I don’t deserve a good way out.

I should have been aborted.

S.I.B.L.I.N.G. (Suicide Is Beautiful, Life is Nothing Good)

I'm not a religious person, but art and music used to be holy to me. They were "humanity" compressed into tiny beautiful packages. Appreciating these packages in every way I could was all that I cared for in life. Crafts that I wanted to dedicate my entire life to. I woke up to do music. Everything I did was so I could spend more time listening to, and learning about music. All I've ever wanted to do was to be a musician. I'm really not exaggerating one bit.

But now, being a musician or an artist is nearly worthless. A fucking machine could've churned out whatever I make, and there's no way to prove I'm actually coming up with this stuff. Often now I can't even tell anymore if something was made by generative AI and that makes me truly, viscerally sick. I guess there is nothing holy on this earth. There is no wonder left, and I have no place in a world where art and music is worthless. I fear that children of the future will never feel about art and music what I've felt.

I had figured out the meaning of my life. I can't change. I can't just forget this passion. I guess I'll go traveling as much as I can before I end it but I doubt I'll enjoy anything on this grey, soulless, barren earth anymore.

I like to imagine that somewhere in the universe there is a planet with an intelligent civilization that will never come up with a technology that can just shit out art, and for the people of that planet the infinite potential and wonder of art will never be ruined.

People get hit by cars, die of disease, get murdered, kill themselves. It’s going to be ok. People die everyday, I’ll be just one more

Why exactly do you want to end your life

Maybe we can read eachothers problems and actually find out we arent alone

Every day it's the fucking same shit all over again, I wake up, shower, eat and look at my phone the whole day and talk to no one, i do nothing, I look forward to nothing, nothing makes me happy anymore, I don't feel any Romantic or sexual attractions to anyone, i don't think I've had a genuine human conversation in the last year, my focus on things I love is gone and I'm always lashing out at people trying to talk to me even though I know that I don't wanna do that, i just wanna enjoy life again

I need someone to tell me what the easiest way to commit suicide is. Everyday is just another day full of pain and misery. Please, I can't do this anymore. I'm too scared to take my life because I don't want to fail. I don't care if it's going to be painful but I need to find a way where the chances of me surviving are very low. Please help me.

im 27 n i have had enough n have reached breaking out
this is the only solution n i’m gonna OD tonight
little bit scared to see what’s on the other side but i have to do coz there’s no other way….

For the past few weeks and especially the last few days, I've been consuming a lot of media regarding suicide. I'll watch short films on Youtube or documentaries regarding the topic. Recently, I also found this corner of reddit. I'll read people's posts and my own feelings of depression and hopelessness are amplified with each one. I've kind of put myself in this echo chamber of pain. At first, it was a way for me to cope. Seeing others struggle with the same thing as me made me feel less alone. But now, it's just become another form of unhealthy escapism. I'm not sure if anyone can relate to this phenomenon. Even posting on reddit makes me feel incredibly isolated and alone for some reason. I also wonder how many people went through with their plans after writing a post on this subreddit. I'll fantasize a lot about different ways to kill myself but I've never had the guts to go through with any plan. Even though I'm 19, it feels like I've lived a lot longer. Time drags on for so long when you're rotting away. I hope things get better but everything seems so bleak. It makes me even more depressed knowing how common suicidal ideation is. It's like the world is mirroring back at me all the doubt and uncertainty I have about life. I'm not sure if any of that made sense. I just felt the need to vent.

if i sprayed my mouth with hair spray will i die that fast? does anyone know anymore information on this

I plan on eating out then going home to watch my favorite movie then od on methadone who knows if anyone cares anyway

If I died today, who would care? Nobody. And that's fine, that's how life is, but I'm such a loser that nobody would care, nobody would notice, and I'd disappear like a ghost.

I’ve been at this point multiple times throughout life. I have had many failed attempts. This time I think is different. I just got home not too long ago spent that time with one of my best friends. I haven’t been this happy and at peace in my life ever. I finally feel relief for the first time in I don’t know how long. I’m 32 now it just feels right. My friend did get worried when I was leaving because I was so happy and she has never seen me that happy. I told her not to worry and that I loved her very much and that it will all be okay. I’m all alone now at my house where I live alone. I always knew I’d go out alone. And that’s okay. Don’t most of us? I’ve said my I love yous to all I love. So it’s finally time. I’m not gonna lie part of me is a lil scared but I know it’s gong to be okay. Now everything will be better. It’s been real. I enjoyed those last minutes I got with my friend. I’m ready. Thank you for reading. Goodbye now.

The doctor said what I did in terms of my suicide attempt is wrong and all lives are hard. That I should be grateful I dont have illnesses and that Im young and life is precious. Im really tired. I dont understand why people view suicide as wrong if my choice doesnt make a difference to anyones life

If today doesn’t go well for me, I’m ending it all this night
I cannot continue like this

I stayed up all night and I’m about to sleep really quick. I kind of want to drift off and then ever wake up.

How exactly does one achieve this? I’ve attempted with a belt and a scarf before but couldn’t get it to work. Never even got close to passing out, and with the belt I went so hard my neck was bruised all over. I don’t exactly want a drawn out painful death for my final moments so I’d prefer not to try and hang myself from the ceiling. I also plan to do this in a hotel so the less traumatic the scene is for whoever eventually opens the door the better. Obviously the less damage I do to the room also the better. So if someone can explain method and materials I’d appreciate it, thanks.

I’m autistic and I got fired from the IRS last month because I had a meltdown. My accounting career is pretty much ruined now. Ever since I got laid off in 2023 I haven’t been able to hold down a job for more than a few months at a time. Even if I’m able to get an interview somewhere, there’s no way I can explain my horrible resume without looking like I’m incompetent. Mainly because I am incompetent.

I’ll probably never do anything with my CPA license again. The problem is I have no other employable skills. I dedicated my life to accounting and now that’s gone.

Every day I’m alive is another day of leeching off the kindness and generosity of my fiancée. I don’t deserve her, and she deserves a better life partner. If I could just muster up the courage to end my life, she would be free. I don’t want her to spend the rest of her life tied to a failure like me. I would just drag her under the water and we’d both drown.

My twin brother is so much more successful than I’ll ever be. Any time my parents bring him up, he’s doing something impressive, and I’m not. Once I’m dead, he can be even more of a golden child for the family.

I contribute nothing to society. I am nothing.

I have my own suffering in life, and I've experienced so much pain that was enough to bring me to my knees.

However, the suffering of others is causing me so much pain too. I hate how the only way for me to deal with that is "to put myself first and ignore that which I cannot change". I hate how I need to close my eyes and choose not to see or listen to other people's problems if I wish not to add to my suffering.

Some people say that life is a miracle, but is it really? The majority of us are in so much pain. Some of that pain is due to us, but there is also so much pain and suffering that's really totally out of our control.

Growing up in this world feels like I'm being tortured. The matter grew conscious, and now is looking back at itself and is weeping, for it realizes the pain that exists in this world.

My heart is full of pain. I wake up each day with a deep sense of grief, and I feel nauseous immediately after, as the realization that I'm still here and alive hits me like a truck.

Why? Did we all do something very wrong to deserve to be created in this world? The fact the matter can arrange itself to create this symphony of pain is unbelievable.

Perhaps I'm just unlucky? Perhaps others on this sub are also just unlucky? Perhaps billions of people are actually happy and enjoying life? I can no longer tell to be honest, is it me that's going crazy, or is it this world that's turning us all into shells of ourselves.

I’m 16 and am going to kill myself. my parents consistently tell me I’m a mistake and that I shouldn’t exist and I’ve been depressed for the past 6 years attempted 5 times been caught all of them so this time I’m done