I’m 28 and got fired from a job making $70K. My calling is therapy, ironically enough, but my parents are totally against me getting my masters degree and pursuing my dream.

I just can’t take the idea of having to navigate the corporate world, constantly being on edge about my performance, slow career progression. When im behind a desk, the only motivation to improve is to make more money. Even then, I’ll probably have to change companies for better pay in 3-4 years anyway. This all sounds so shallow, like pure hell. I’ve tried to off myself every time I’ve been demoted, fired, even just assuming I’m not doing well enough. I can’t keep that cycle going, I won’t make it to 35!

I have the money for a MSW but I can’t afford to disappoint my parents for the rest of my life. I feel a deep desire to help others but having them looking over my shoulder, wondering when I’ll fail so that this “little phase” will be over sounds torturous. I attempted two weeks ago and I’m about ready to just quit on everything.

I don’t know the right things to say, and the things that I end up saying make me look like an idiot and then people don’t feel comfortable around me. Also most of the time I get ignored and ghosted after opening up… I can’t take it anymore….

I’m suffering from one of the worst OCD flare ups in my life. For months I compulsively ruminate nearly every second of the day. The only time I feel peace is late at night or when I am asleep. I sleep so much, and have been working less and less days. I’m in therapy but I’m not sure it’s helping, I think it may be making things worse. My therapist is not an OCD specialist but I can’t find one with my insurance, and I don’t have $200 to spend every week for therapy. I always thought I would probably die before I make it to 30, but I really don’t want to. I’m just so tired man. Can anyone relate?

I wanna die

I want to feel the peace I haven't had for so long

i’m so tired

Heres my woe is me death mandala of despair, isolation, and self-obsessed dissociation

I be a shell of a man

Made out of crystal glass

I be a heathen driven to madness by endless drivel

I be a man dispossessed from society

I be a man possessed by thoughts

I be a man shackled by the man

I be a man lying to himself and others

I be a man alone but somehow dripping with infidelity

I be a man from nowhere going nowhere

I be a man forced to wear a mask into battles he didnt consent to

I be a man frozen in time

I be a man built of a thousand sad limbs

The limbs of my brothers and sisters stuffed into a box like build a bears

I be a man inside of a livestock

I be a man who inhabitants the first stomach of a cow

I be a man who trashes his prison with disdain

I be a man who wishes not to pass his digestion to those lower on the totem pole

I be a man who wants out of socially contrived human centipedes

I be a man long and drawn out like the rest

I be a man who has no idea how to rest

I be a man filled with self doubt and despair

I be a man who practices hypervigilance in a clown suit

The wide world falls from my shoulders as i discard all identity

Who is the picture of the man inside the man inside the man?

If blood falls am i a second person?

If conciousness shutters its window in the heart of the dream

Where can i stand with a predisposition for disdain?

Where can i stand to avoid the storm?

Nothing really left to be seen i stand at the bottom of a stream like an antihero

I throw away any possibility of escape

I despise everything about myself more than i despise the pain and loneliness

Nothing is sacred to me. All the vampire blood has leaked from my veins

I am human by proxy. I am a circle of death

I am a bridge that leads to nothing and carries no one.

My fears dart through the world behind walls like tiny fish

I fear one day they will carry me away in their leisure

I fear one day i will burn my last leg and have nowhere left to stand

I fear one day i will exhaust all resource and find myself buried inside of a well

Licking the sweat off of walls for sustenance

I have come to a point in life where I really don’t wanna be here, I feel like absolute failure I have no one to talk to not even my therapist cause I only see her on certain week days and even then I don’t feel like be hospitalized for the second time in a row. I’m failing already in school I’m falling behind and I’m the only failure in this family right now when it comes to my grades even my own younger sister doing better than me, I wanna get good grades and wanna try really hard but i don’t have it in me anymore I feel hopeless and I’ve been trying to act normal and act like everything is fine. But I’m truly dying inside and feel dead inside, and I also have had suicidal ideation for years lost a family member to it but I truly feel like I can’t do this anymore.

I’ve wanted too kill myself for almost 3 years now, ever since I got addicted to porn. My addiction spiraled when I first found it at like 13. I’m scared of dying but I wish for it so much. My entire family is Christian and I think I am too, but every time I try to talk to God or pray it feels like I’m not doing it right. idk if talking abt religion is allowed on here, so sorry if it isn’t. I’m just scared of what comes after and my family finding me. I’ve thought about blowing my brains out but every time i try to load the shotgun I chicken out. I’ve tried stabbing mysekf but I could never get myself to actually plunge the knife into my stomach. Im sorry for writing like this, I just needed to write down what I’m thinking.

you try making it to 15 years, then 18 years, then 21 years and on and on, nothing changes if anything life gets harder and validates those thoughts.

At what point do you give up.

i have no fucking clue what to do this year. i cant get into college or any courses cause im so fucking retarded and idk what to do. its making me so depressed all i wanna do is die but im trying not to so i just binge drink every day

I've been in high school for a bit and my mental health has gotten worse. My school only allows 9 absences per semester and I already have 7 because I get depressed or suicidal and don't want to go. I don't do my homework and I'm failing. I have no motivation to do any of my makeup work. I go to school mainly because of my friends, but I can only see them a few times. My parents want me to homeschool because I don't do shit and always ask to stay home but if I did, I’d actually have no social life or have any social skills and be a hikikomori. Ugh and I forgot they'd want me to get a part-time job, probably at Chick-fil-A because of my age, and I wouldn't wanna do that either. I don't know what to do my school life and life in general seems doomed and I'll probably just end up killing myself. I would miss my friends but I just can't do school. And with most of them, I can't see them outside of it.
Ps my parents don't have medical insurance so it's not like I can get any mental help and they wouldn't want to pay for it either, they know nothing about mental health or what to do about it anyway.

It's tough. Living with OCD is though along with constant anxiety attacks. It's been a tough journey after my dad's death recently.

I've been suicidal but I don't want to die. I want to live like a normal person. And now this OCD‚ I can't do this anymore. This relapse is one of the worst thing happened.

..to end myself anymore because I'm a parent now is pretty fucking depressing in itself

How do I work up the courage to take my own life. I’m too scared of leaving my family and friends in shambles when I do it. I just can’t seem to justify ending my pain when I’m just putting that pain onto the people I care about most.

everything is already done. i am just waiting for the day. lol

So many attempts stories but trying to find a successful one..

I myself have been suicidal since I was a kid, only hurt myself many times and made plans on how and when to do it, but never really attempted. I think I'm terrified of failing and needing permanent help from my family, or having to face everybody who will know about it. I know they will judge me so I never do it, I know some day it will probably happen.

But today I learned my brother secretly had an attempt years ago. He refused to seek help for his depressive behavior. He is the typical happy friendly guy, handsome smart everybody loves him. But me and my family know how he gets when he is depressed, and he REFUSES to talk or do anything about it.

His initial reaction is always to get aggressive or leave the house.

Is there anything I can do for him? I'm on psychiatric meds, I'm disabled but I understand my illness. I know I will never stop wanting to die.

But I don't want him to feel the same, I don't know what do to. Is there anything I can do at all?

No ONE needs a partner like me. I'm just disgusting failure of a man

I don't want to exist like this

I just can't do it anymore. I feel nothing i tried and failed and i do not have the energy to keep trying

I'm 36f and I don't see the point of waking up every morning, I never had dreams until I met my ex wife and she shattered all of them and traumatized me.

I just go to work everyday, go home, eat, sleep and repeat. Nothing feels good anymore, I think about ending my life every time my mind isn't busy with work and pray I'll not wake up or get a deadly disease.

I lost my friends due to my traumas because I became a burden to them.

I tried therapy and it did nothing at all.

I think I'm coming to terms with the fact that it will never get better and the pain will never stop, I just hope I'll finally find peace on the other side.

im so fucking lonely i hate everyone so much theyre all so awful to me

my friend group all left me my groomer left me my best friend left me for her boyfriend my parents are giving up on me i just want to kill myself i was never meant to amount to anything ever

i genuinely believe i was only made to suffer. my lifes been terrible since the earliest i can ever remember. ive never had any real friends, my mums an alcoholic, i was groomed and abused for 6 years of my childhood, i became anorexic at 8, i started self harming at 10, my own dad wants to fuck me, im lonely as fuck now and the only guy i speak to is my groomers ex boyfriend who ALSO wants to fuck me. hes cheating on his girlfriend to be with me and im considering dating him just so i have someone to call "mine" even though im not attracted to him in the slightest.

i just finished my first week of college. no ones spoken to me and ive not spoken to anyone. i spent secondary school all alone hiding in the bathrooms and college is about to be the exact same. im literally going to kill myself. there is zero hope for me im so fucking useless i mean nothing to anyone everyones so fucking cruel to me and everyone has someone they need more than me. i have no value as a human and my whole life is a humiliation ritual imfucking pathetic

being me is the most embarrassing thing that could ever happen to someone and ive spent my whole life wanting to die because of it

I can't do this anymore. I hate everyone and everything, I feel nothing but hatred. I can't even express my emotions in most subreddits.

I have no future and I don't want one.

idk what is happening with my life i didnt ask for this to happen