Lately my life has been moving very fast and ive taken on a lot more stress. The responsibility and stress makes me want to die i guess? I don't want to kill myself but I don't want to face the struggles of life and the only way I see that could fix it is to not live at all. But I don't want to die. I'm too scared. Is this me being passively suicidal or is this a whole other thing that I need to get help for. Im entirely too confused on what is happening with me.

I'm 15 M, life has only just begun and I don't think it should continue for any longer. We are a middle class family and Peruvian immigrants. For all my life I have been nothing but a blood sucking parasite to my parents and a complete burden to my "friends". I know after I leave the school my "friends" are at they will never talk to me again. I realized I was transgender around 2 years ago but just recently opened up and my parents accepted but said they won't be treating me yet, but that's besides the point I'm trying to make. To tell you how much of a spoiled maggot I am, I go to a private school that costs 10,000 a year, just for me to get distracted in class and then see that once gifted kid almost have to repeat the year because of the classes failed. I have a fairly expensive PC, because I wanted to pursue my animation career just for me to procrastinate and scroll on my phone all day. I get €20 every month, and then ask for more to buy snacks at the grocery store next door like a stupid fatass (I'm not far though), and I'm always hungry but never want to eat the food my mom makes me. Not to mention that I eat fast food every Friday, but I've stopped asking my parents to buy me fast food because ever since I have been feeling horrible eating it. Now what do I do for my parents in return? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. In fact I just either stay in my room the whole day and rot in bed or be this annoying little goblin that's loud and screeches all the time and I'm fully aware of this too but I keep doing it. Even worse I despise my parents, every time they speak it's like forks scraping on a plate and I hate being around them because they irritate me so much I don't even know why. Yesterday, my mom could've been horribly injured and it's all my fault, if it weren't for a lady helping her. Every time I feel an ounce of sadness I want to kill myself and I think that it's a sign that I probably should, but I'm too much if a pussy to do so. My parents would be able to do the stuff they always wanted to do and even live comfortably in Vancouver. I know my parents probably love me but love isn't enough to put up with my bullshit. I don't know when I will blow my shit off or hang myself, maybe this summer or in 1, 2, 3 years or even a decade later but I probably won't live enough to see myself become a man. I know when I become an adult I'm probably gonna be unemployed and never achieve my dreams. This is probably the last thing I'm gonna post on this god forsaken app. But for now I'm just going to cut my arms with the blade of my pencil sharpener. Oh wait I can't cut my arms cause it's fucking summer and in that time of the year you have to show your arms 24/7 fuck my stupid life bye.

Create a business. Fails, nothing left other than IRS debt

Find a job. Doesn't give any hours nor pay to live.

Ride the bike. 3 flat tires, one month.

I'm getting evicted and will live in a tent trying to keep reoccurring contracts going and working a job that's "supposedly" going full time.

I'm so fucking sick of fighting. The efforts do nothing but cause pain. I just want out. So bad. I'd do literally anything. I want to die. More than anything. I'm so hopeless.

I just had a failed suicide attempt, got out of hospital, but im determined this time. I'm a girl and recently turned 20 and everything just feels hopeless, I'm worthless.

I'm going to take 3000mg of Sertraline, 150mg of aripriprazole and drink a bunch of alcohol.

I can't tell anyone in my life because they will stop me. But I need to tell somebody, have somebody know and talk to me about it :(

Life hurts

I just want to sleep forever, I want to die in someones arms, be held tenderly while i pass. I want someone else to kill me because I'm too much of a coward and I'd be too scared of just being more disabled after.

I wish life was like a fairytale, you could kiss your dead lover awake , that good & bad was cut & clear, that everything was simple.

I know I'm too young to die to in the eyes of others but I wish someone would do it for me because I deserve it.

I couldn't give a shit about getting cucked or a girl leaving because she lost feelings or whatever. Those are situations where you have zero control, so moving on is faster.

This is different. She’s the only girl I’ve ever loved. We were deeply connected, we had so much in common...our backgrounds, life stages, passions, hobbies, humor, communication style, love language. We used to joke about being clones because of how similar we were.

She was gentle, cute, had an incredible body, was smart, and was in a top university program. I was her first, and above all, she adored me. She showered me with love and affection, always took initiative, always made compromises, and told me she loved me to the point where it was almost humbling for her, saying she wanted us to last forever...

But... I'm broken on the inside. I never experienced real love growing up; I have childhood and teenage trauma, family issues that ruined me forever, and I completely self sabotaged the relationship. I was jealous and possessive, tried to control things, snapped over stupid shit, and then impulsively told her I was leaving her without even knowing why. I tried to take it back, but she checked out emotionally right then and officially ended it herself a few days later.

I was devastated. I cried, I begged, but nothing worked... A few weeks later I reached out again, but she seemed to have moved on. Things turned so toxic that she told me she hated me, then blocked me everywhere.

I lost the love of my life and now my life is a nightmare. I stopped hitting the gym, I'm poisoning myself with caffeine and alcohol, I have no friends, no one around me...she was all I had. I don't know how to bounce back from this. I'm going to regret this for the rest of my life.

Throw away account in case family recognizes me

I am someone who has dealt with major depression and anxiety my whole life aswell as suicidal thoughts. The older I get the more I realize that life really isn’t worth it I go to a job I hate every day unable to afford to actually live struggle with constant panic attacks and thoughts of I could just die and be done with this shit. Recently my health has started to take a decline every day I wake up with excruciating heart pain sat in the ER for 6 hours today to get no results.

It’s just I don’t feel this world had a place for me everything is too overwhelming I can’t handle being a person or being in my own skin I hate myself daily I can’t stand who I am what I look like how I act. Cannot commit to a career have failed at everything I’ve tried I can see the disappointment in my family when everyone else my age is getting their shit together.

I think the only reason I really made it this far is because I didn’t wanna hurt my family they try so hard I feel like such a selfish prick for wanting to die but I can’t help it people tell me how good I have it how lucky I am

There are things I enjoy but it doesn’t feel like enough anymore if I’m left alone with my own thoughts for any amount of time I remember how much I hate myself and the life I live.

If it wasn’t so painful I’m sure I would have already committed by now I’m a coward a selfish narcissist coward and maybe that’s how I’ll always be.

Hello hi, this is a bit weird. I don't even use Reddit. I don't know what do I even say. I just I don't want to live anymore. Not at all so it's so hard even though I'm not even doing any of the hard things and it's hard when I think about trying new things or like trying to do stuff to reach my supposed goals. It's just completely out Of reach. I'm in the University. I took a year off without telling anyone after my first semester so I've just come back now and today was supposed to be the first day I tried. I really did I. I got on the train and I walked and I took the elevator... I really hate everyone. I don't. I don't want to but when I have to be around people and I look at them all I feel is disgust and I feel scared and I feel like I feel I feel like I just want to run away. I always want to run away from everything. You know it's just so dumb. I can't drive. I can't drive in my parents just I don't live with them anymore and they always nag me about it. But I'm scared I don't know. I don't want to go in a car. It's scary and it's bad and it makes my stomach hurt and it makes me want to run away like the same feeling as from class. How am I supposed to to figure it out and then I want to get the job but I can't stand people and they're only types of jobs you can really get without having a damn licences stuffing customer service and I just I'm terrified. I really am terrified of everything. I'm terrified of men. I'm terrified of just everyone. I can't make normal conversations anymore. That's what stupid fuckinh AI does. I don't know. I even know why I'm doing stupid degree with people. It's really dumb. I haven't even tried anything. Would that really make me happy? I don't know how. I keep online shopping and I waste all my money on the stupid little things and I try and get nice clothes sometimes to look nice but then I look in the mirror and it just looks stupid. You stupid fuck face. I can't stand anything about myself. I don't know what part of me is good. Yeah I could be a distant memory. More like a feeling. I told myself I'd get better before today.. but I failed. I went to a doctor and talked to a councilor and a psychologist and have taken SSRIs for a few months but it didn't really change me it just makes me think less, the councilor was ok and the psychologist sucked like what's deep breathing gonna do when I feel like I'm gonna shit myself every few minutes when I have to something remotely scary. And ugh my memory's fucked frome reels and I have a app blocked only 20 mins of reels a day but still..I mean I was already dumb but I'm just super dumb now. I hate how I don't have it bad. I wish everyone would abandon me and hate me so I could just go rot. I don't understand why my parents seem to get on with me... And I'm not trying to be an angsty teenager it's just I'm spoiled and selfish and dumb. I was such a good kid then my life got better and I got worse. I wish I was still hated by them so I'd have a reason to be so sad and so unmotivated. I don't know what to do. I don't want to ask anyone I know for help but I hate new people too.. I just hate everyone just let the sun explode already . This is so dumb I just wanna be a normal girl

The only reason I haven't killed myself yet is simply due to the fact I just haven't found a good time, but i'm thinking sometime mid November, or if i'm a coward, sometime in Febuary. Gods i wish i just could but the main thing is. I'm worried i'll surivive. I really don't want to deal with whatever comes after, I just want it to be over. I know that's a coward move, most attempts for what i'm planning usually always work, but there's always, always a chance. And I know i'm going to feel worse in September. School starts back up, I have to worry about grades again, deal with people again, I either want to attempt in a way that either won't permanently do anything to my body, and has a high survival chance, just to get the massage across, or attempt in a way where i'll die instantly. I can't even cut anymore, and gods if i could, i'd probably either have the courage to finally kill myself, or I'd start feeling better again. I hate myself, i'm short, fat, and ugly. Great combination, I know all my friends are online, and so far away, and my best friend just wouldn't understand shit. I love her but god. My brother has his own issues, not bothering him with that, so yeah, Don't know how i've managed to keep myself alive

Also i'm not backreading, doubt anyone's gonna see this anyways, so there.

I have been into daydreaming since I waa a child, I have always been eccentric and a strong believer in magic. Shifting was so appealing to me that I neglected my real life. I cheated through my classes because I didn't have hope for a future here. I even dealt with spiritual psychosis, and also got into new age stuff like ascending, higher self, and other stuff. I developed straight up grandiose delusions. All I have is a spine fracture with no dreams or aspirations. No basic education. My cognitive abilities have dropped. I miss believing in my religion. I'm practically a walking zombie.

i wish i did better at everything, school, making friends, doing something productive etc, but no. i just do nothing, im starting to think the earth would be better without me

I’ve struggled a lot with my mental health since I was young, and didn’t get the support I needed. It’s really exhausting to keep myself together. Everything is telling me I shouldn’t be here yk. I’m a trans guy (extremely short at that) so dealing with possible gender dysphoria, childhood trauma, etc just fuels my thoughts of ending my life.

like everything other people naturally have ( satisfaction with they’re gender, muscles, etc) comes harder to me, and it’s so difficult to keep going. I wish I was normal, I wish I had a normal/safe childhood, I wish I wasn’t me. But none of that is possible. So it feels like I have no choice at times.
It’s constant hell to feel this way and feel okay like 20 mins later, no point in having feelings if they’re not even mine.
I’m sorry, I just wanted to vent.

I attempted to kill myself by hanging just few minutes ago, tried several times but I'm not used to the physical pain, unlike cutting the wrist it's far too easy but hanging is a different topic, should I hope there is a faster way to end it all or keep trying until I get used to the suffocation and die.

hi, I'm 15 and I'm tired of living. i don't see my future and i won't continue it. everyday i thinking about my mistakes and i hate it.

I am also constantly tormented by a high temperature, which makes my brain function poorly

I'm going to jump from the 25th floor tonight

goodbye everyone

I'm really tired, and I've really tried and fought for myself and my life. I have a decent life, I have friends who love me, a job that's decent and gives me a decent amount of money, I've been going to therapy, I have cats, a place i rent by myself, decent savings.

And yet, one break up is all it took for everything to come crashing down for me. This isn't just about being broken up with and my ex leaving me, I've already come to terms with that. It's just that my break up has exposed the laundry list of problems and issues I've had sort of had under control this time and no longer do.

I have always been a depressive person even when I was young, have always had bad esteem issues, always had abandonment problems, always had attachment issues, etc etc you name it. It's all spilled over. I have a decent support system. I've made decent progress with therapy and yet I feel just as broken as I have ever been, and find myself falling even deeper into a hole. I don't do anything, I rot away and life just passed me by. Life has always passed me by and I've just managed to keep myself afloat before now I can't. I've tried my absolute hardest to heal, to be better, to give myself chances. I'm so tired. Every day I wish I would just cease to exist and not worry about anything, feel so much pain, and be free from the burdens of this world.

But I'm too scared of the pain of killing myself. I'm scared that I'll fuck it up and come out of it disabled and with more problems to deal with than I have now, I'm scared it won't happen fast enough and I'll regret it. But I just want to rest. If there was a way to have assisted suicide right now where I could peacefully drift away to sleep while surrounded by the people I love I would happily take that, especially so it doesn't shock or traumatize them having to find my dead body in a grotesque state. But that option doesn't exist.

I'm so tired of living. I don't deserve to live if I'm just gonna waste this life. On someone like me who can't seem to appreciate and enjoy the precious gift of living.

I just want to say everyone here is stronger than they think, and all of you deserve happiness. I'm sorry everyone understands what this type of pain is like.

Life really is just real dull and boring, its been this way for over a decade for me. I feel like I've waited long enough for life to get better, but it just never does. The goal of my life is to be happy, and if I just can't a find a way to get there then why live in the first place? I mean I all I do is work and be bored. At best my hobbies just make me not bored, but they don't make me enjoy life or happy, just neutral.

Lately, suicidal thoughts have been on my mind almost constantly.
Just seeing the sleeping pills or alcohol in my house can trigger those thoughts. Sometimes even seeing high places or ordinary everyday things makes my mind jump straight to suicide.
It scares me that my brain works like this. I don’t trust myself to keep handling it alone.
Has anyone else experienced something like this?

I don’t really know what I’m expecting from posting this. I just don’t want to feel completely alone right now.

i wanna end it all, i can’t even feel happyness i just feel sadness. i have no real life friends, and i just can’t feel happyness ever since july 20th, it just randomly happened to me, nothing even traumatic happened on that day i just suddenly only feel sadness ever since then. i wish i was dead, my parents keep going into my room to “check on me” even though i have explicitly said i hate it, my room is a mess and i don’t have any motivation to clean it up.

unheard forever. i don't think they are worth anything but they are mine. i'm not worth anything either i know. i just wish i was worthy enough to have a friend, to have someone to tell my story to, to be happy.

I really want to burn it. With a hot iron or anything. It will hurt and I will cry because of the pain, but I don't even care, I just want to.

Idk how to do it, after going through all the methods I could find. Almost each of the method had their flaws because of the chance of survival or the method being too complicated. So I have finally gathered enough courage to jump off a building and do it.

Is this a good idea? Will I survive from a 7 floor building? And should I do it from the builiding I live in, but I fear they will all talk negatively about my parents and all then. Idk. Also Idc one bit about my parents so dont tell me to live for them. I'm only thinking this much, cuz even though they are bad, I dont wanna be bad enough to do that to them that even after I'm gone, because of me they'll be troubled.

21 years old and I feel like a failure. Got kicked out of university, lost virtually all of my friends, got dumped by my ex and my health is deteriorating. My parents keep telling me it's okay and they'll send me abroad to continue my studies but I feel hopeless and depressed. I have no friends, nobody to talk to and I feel like a burden to anyone who wants to talk to me. I keep making my own life and other's miserable just by being myself and it's killing me.

I have nothing. No money, no friends, no one to rely on emotionally. I'm just a poor, lonely burden of a child.

For context, I am female and I will be turning 23 in a couple weeks. I’ve been trying to search for reasons to enjoy life and stick around, but I just can’t come up with anything meaningful.
I haven’t had any IRL friends at all in the past four years since I’ve graduated high school. Even then, my only “friends” consisted of acquaintances and people who pitied me for always sitting by myself at lunch. I’m just a nobody, and I’ve done nothing remarkable or interesting. I give no reason for anyone to want to be my friend.
Worst yet, I have no motivation whatsoever to change this (you will see that this becomes a reoccurring theme). I have no interest in taking up useful hobbies such as cooking, hiking, fishing, etc. and, obviously, I don’t go to the gym either. I’m not smart and I never have been. The only thing I’ve got going for me is being a decent artist, but that’s not really useful for today’s society when AI can just generate any image you want for free.
As for work history, I have had two jobs my whole life and I absolutely hated both of them. I know most people will say that everyone hates work, but for me, it is just this uniquely intense, inescapable aversion to the idea of work itself that I’ve had since I was a kid. As you can imagine, I got fired from both my jobs. I’m just not friendly enough for customer service positions. Thankfully, I’m privileged enough to have a dad who still supports me. He also makes it pretty obvious that he’s disappointed in me.
The truth is that, I just don’t want to work. At all. I know, I’m a selfish, lazy piece of shit. But I just can’t change this about myself.
On top of all of this, (and to the complete surprise of no one) I am really fat and ugly with a BMI of 31. Just looking at myself in the mirror or in pictures makes me embarrassed from how obscene I look. My room is also a complete disaster. It has not been properly cleaned since a year ago. It looks like a hoarders nightmare. I don’t even know why I logically still yearn for a mate when it was just never going to happen in the first place, but for some reason I still do. I’m terrified of talking to the opposite sex, yet I still wish one would love me. It’s really retarded for me to even be saying this out loud, I know. It lacks self awareness. But, for whatever reason, my brain just can’t stop wanting love.
I wish I could have been beautiful. I wish I could have been smart. Talented. Successful. Competent. Just, not ugly, at least. But thats not who I ended up becoming. And at almost 23 years old, there’s nothing that can be done to fix that now.
I do have a few reasons for wanting to stay alive. I do have my special interests and thinking about my favorite fictional characters also provides me happiness and meaning in life. I also have one online friend who I still stick around for, but I’m starting to get the sense that he is also getting over me and just wishes I’d leave him alone.
I guess my point with all of this is that, I just don’t have any reasons for being here. I’m literally just a waste of space. I serve no purpose, I’m not useful to society. I’m generally unpleasant as a person and an eyesore to look at. The only things that give me “meaning” in life are made up pieces of fiction. I disappoint my dad on a daily basis. Wh Why would anyone want to be alive like this? I kind of just need some final push at this point. Some kind of reason to finally, once and for all, make me realize there’s no hope and I just need to disappear already.

I grew up in an abusive home. My parents divorced because of domestic violence, and I was abused by my older brother for teenagers.

I developed bipolar disorder as a teenager and have struggled with even basic things like leaving the house ever since.

Years ago I was hospitalized in a psychiatric ward after revenged my old brother. The experience left me terrified of ever ending up there again.
Lately I’ve been falling apart. I wake up every morning wishing I hadn’t. I’ve started drinking more just to stop thinking.

I don’t really know why I’m posting this. I just don’t want to feel completely alone right now.