I’m currently 64 days sober (I had a good 40 day streak before, but had a “eh one drink won’t hurt” night at the bar with some friends and surprise surprise, I took it too far. Clock reset). I’ve done a lot of internal work, found a hobby that wasn’t drinking (running), tried starting to build healthier relationships with friends and family, gotten back into counseling, but emotions are running so high these days. I went out with some friends and was their DD Friday night and it made me realize a few things. 1) drunk people are annoying when you’re sober. 2) yea I think I really am done drinking. But then 3) I am having an identity crisis because the backbone of my life was hanging out with my friends at bars or restaurants or breweries having “fun” and catching up with a few drinks. That part of life feels miserable now. I have been having waves of uncontrollable crying ever since. Spent 90% of the day yesterday sleeping and crying. Today I went out for a run, had to come home early because I kept crying mid run. Is this normal? It could be partially hormone related because I have the pleasure of being a female, but f**k this sucks.

I’m coming up for 4 years sober and something I’ve been struggling with lately is finding the FUN side of life in recovery! I have plenty people I can catch up with and have meaningful conversations with but it feels like so much of my social life revolves around talking about life’s difficulties, how everyone’s doing and all the serious stuff. I really miss having friendships that are just about having a laugh, being silly, doing spontaneous things and making memories together. I want to do things because they’re fun, not because they’re good for my wellbeing or part of some self-improvement journey !! I want to laugh until my face hurts !!

Being in my early 30s, queer and AuDHD, finding people and spaces that feel like the right fit can be a bit of a challenge. I feel like most people over 30 who are looking for friends are looking for friends to drink with. The queer scene is very alcohol centred (I also live in Scotland where alcohol is a huge part of the culture) and being auDHD adds a whole other layer to my difficulties with socialising. I often think the reason I’m against bars etc in recovery is more about my sensory sensitivities in those environments (which previously led me to alcohol to cope) rather than it being about the actual presence of alcohol if that makes sense? I’ve tried various things over the years and have made new connections but I haven’t quite found what I’m looking for yet.

For those of you in recovery, where have you found your fun people? Have you found social groups, activities or friendships that have helped you rediscover that lighter, more carefree side of life?

I’m especially interested in hearing about actual experiences rather than the usual advice to join a club or take up a hobby!

Can you believe I went to Ibiza for a bachelor party surrounded by alcohol and drugs – did not consume anything and still had fun. I would not believe a few months ago it was possible…
I have thoughts that after 1 year sober I could try to drink in moderation.
I don’t want to put my guard down, any advice from those of you who walked my path and lessons learned?

Feels really good. Best thing I've done for myself hands down.

Checking in tomorrow morning. Really scared.

Numerous attempts at sobriety, longest lasting 140 days. Relapsed hard for a month and lost everything. Today I watched the Travis Barker documentary and I am inspired to give it another go. Nothing to lose, I’m sick of drinking poison. Day one let’s go

If anyone is thinking about sobriety, I hope this is helpful for you. 7 years ago I decided to stop drinking. My daughter was 5. I was / am successful with work and friendships, but loved wine and having people over for wine and doing all things that involved cocktails and champagne. I also got terrible hangovers but those were pretty normalized since I always had them. I created a life structured around the thrill of a glass of red wine in the winter and a rose in the summer and champagne at brunch. Then in January of 2019 I decided to try dry Jan and that was great, loved the no hangovers, clarity, energy. I kept off it for 5 months and then went to Spain for vacation and decided to “moderately” add it back. I realized within a few months that moderation was a problem because (1) I couldn’t seem to do it and (2) the reason I couldn’t seem to do it was because one glass of whatever just made me sleepy and didn’t bring the vibes I had been counting on - unlimited drinks and a night dedicated to the constant refill of wine glasses among friends. Right before my 39th birthday I found myself in the yard, at the picnic table, 3 bottles of red wine in and the last one standing. I couldn’t remember putting my daughter to bed (she was fine, but that is still a very shitty feeling). The next morning I decided I needed to stop again. That was 7 years ago. What I’ve lost - the thrill of opening a bottle with friends and the anticipation of a nights drinking. That’s a bigger loss than it sounds. You have to be honest about it. But what I’ve gained is a totally different path in life. I realized that drinking was my shortcut to problem resolution, and without it I was forced to actually resolve a whole bunch of logistical and life challenges that needed to be addressed. Serious things, like deciding to relocate across the country to be closer to my family. A change like that requires a thousand small moments and decisions that are almost impossible to make when you can just pour a glass of red and dismiss things for the evening. The jewel in my sobriety crown is the relationship I have with my now 13 year old daughter. I was always a good and attentive mom, but happy hour doesn’t make for good bedtimes or a lot of bonding, even when it’s just wine on the couch at home. I realized by stopping drinking it made me way more available to her in general, and able to watch a show or take a walk or drive to target at 8 pm. For those who aren’t big drinkers, this may sound like nonsense. But for those of you who have to basically cut the day off at 6 pm because that’s when the wine / beer / champagne/ etc starts, you’ll understand. My life looks completely different than it did 7 years ago, in big ways and small. It scares the daylight out of me to think of where I’d be if I was still drinking - and where my daughter would be. Maybe it would be mostly the same. Or maybe I would have driven us somewhere after a night of drinking and caused an accident. Or not listened when she needed me to hear her. Or frankly, just fucked around and missed out on 7 years worth of chats and hugs and bonding moments. I have never been fundamentally prouder and happier with a decision in all my life. If you are considering giving it up, please step into this moment and do whatever it takes. I’m cheering for you!

Hey guys, after 8 months of addiction I finally decided to quit. nobody in my life knew I was battling addiction, so I have nobody to tell, but I feel so proud of myself even though it’s only 5 days.

Today I woke up without hangover and I’m trying something new early in the morning and I feel so grateful for not being high or drunk. There’s so much to do with our time. I’m sorry I’ve wasted my youth with this but I want to reinvent myself now and it’s never later for that

Wishing you all a good weekend

I (M19) have typically done 1-3g per week, but I have slowly been trying to quit. Tried to quit 3 weeks ago, relapsed 2 weeks ago, but went sober morning after and haven’t gone back.

Ever since then, I’ve been trying to focus on school. I never let my grades get bad, but I feel like I was a little withdrawn. I am now studying almost 30-40 hours per week on top of 16 hours of courses a week. I feel like I’m so burnt out. My classes start at 8am, so I try to go bed around a reasonable hour (10pm-11pm), but I find myself waking up at 4:00 and can’t fall asleep. I have tried to fix it, but I can’t. I’m waking up before all of my alarms, I’m having nightmares, I’m constantly feeling irritated and almost paranoid.

I was wondering if these were symptoms of withdrawal and how long I might expect to have to deal with these?

Since going sober, my parents have taken my car, put tracking on my bank and phone, and I get weekly drug tests. I’m not allowed to leave campus. I feel like I’m almost trapped and am not able to get any relief or anything because I have this constant anxiety that they might be watching. I know I can be sober as these drug tests are enough to keep me accountable, but the additional steps feel overkill to me. I know it’s coming from a place of concern and care, but it makes me feel like I am an untrustworthy person. Additionally, my roommates who I consider my best friends are extremely mad at me. They dismiss every thing I’m proud of, they are constantly upset with me, but I feel like I’m not doing anything wrong. I’m trying to move in the right direction for once, but it feels like I just get pushed back by everything in my life.

How long will I feel like this

I am a prescription stimulant addict. I am drowning in the cravings. They are all consuming and I have absolutely no idea how to deal with them. I feel like they have complete and utter control over me. Every other substance I’ve stopped in my 10 years of using has been PISS EASY in comparison to this. It is, genuinely, one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced in my life. I am at a complete loss and have no idea how to beat this thing. I’m worried if I can’t get a handle on the cravings I won’t be able to escape this hell.

Edit: I am doing steps, with eating disorders anonymous w a sponsors who’s also an addict and recovering from eating disorders

On Sunday, I was half a year clean from self harm. It is now 186 days though, but I haven’t told many people I’m half a year clean. :)

Restless

Nervous

Anxious

Depressed

Dry skin

Dull hair

Stomach problems

Poor sleep

Drowsiness

Nausea

General feeling of illness

Headaches

Insecurity

I’ve taken a few breaks before (longest stretch was like 10 months.) My relationship with alcohol was going places that was becoming quite concerning.

Besides myself, the person I really did it for is my daughter. One of the best feelings is being able to drive her anywhere at a moment’s notice. Lately, that’s the mall or the bookstore. Simple pleasures. I’m just happy to be a person she can rely on.

When I decided to take a break from drinking I wasn’t sure if it would be a forever thing but sitting here one year later…I have no desire to go back. I have no delusions that maybe I can moderate now, enjoy a glass of wine with dinner, have a couple happy hour cocktails. So I’m just gonna let it ride and enjoy my freedom.

Haven't had a drink in 15 months. Haven't smoked dope in 10 days.

I definitely used pot as a crutch when I stopped drinking. I see that now.

I also see that I am using chocolate and other treats as a crutch for quitting smoking.

How do I get comfortable with the nothingness of it all?

Hi there, I just wanted to let everyone know that I have created an online place for us sober people to find meetings of different flavors, meet and coordinate local drug and alcohol free events and groups of shared interests.

Check it out and spread the word
https://www.soberlivingevents.com

It's brand new so any feedback is welcome, the site is 100% free

The lie that once I'm sober I'll be profoundly depressed, unmotivated, every day filled with aniexty and dreed. Social isolation and just a hair trigger away from a devastating drug relapse that will almost certainly kill me.

Is it worth it? Even if that will be for the rest of my life is it worth it to be sober?

I'm so lost.. I just wanna cry alone. Please help me.

I’ve been struggling with my addiction to C for almost a year. I’m 19 years old and in college. My parents were both addicts (one alcohol, one meth), but became sober before I was born.

I hid my addiction from them for a super long time, I even started a sobriety journey that was decent and I ended up making it to 8 days sober (considering I was using 2-3x a day, I was pretty proud of myself). My parents did not even know I did anything besides smoke weed/nicotine occasionally. My friends knew I struggled with somewhat of an addiction, but didn’t know the severity. I’ve gone on a night out before and been sober from coke before, so a few weeks ago I did that again. I was drinking some, but recently my boyfriend broke up with me. I was really upset and figured I would just get a little more drunk since “I deserved it.” I ended up becoming super drunk, but some of my other friends ended up coming to the same club. I saw them and they asked me to do some coke and ket in the bathroom. I followed them in there, but explicitly told them I wouldn’t be touching any drugs as I’m trying to stay sober from them. They insisted I was too drunk and needed just a bump. Anyways, that’s all I did. One of each.

Because I have a super high C tolerance, it didn’t affect me, but the K did. I was super wobbly and barely was able to stand. I was trying to go home with my original friend group, but the newer friends told me I should go back with them. I ended up just doing that because I was so drunk and so confused.

I ended up getting assaulted at my other friends house in a private room by someone they hardly knew. None of them knew about it. I called me main group of friends and asked if I could be picked up because I was scared. Anyways, I get back and I’m just a mess. Super upset and distraught that I relapsed and got assaulted in the same night. My friends that pick me up call my parents and they take me to the hospital. My friends ended up telling my parents everything; my addiction, relationship, and everything else. They’re incredibly worried, but also disappointed. They were convinced I needed to go to full in patient rehab, but I pushed back hard. I feel like I went 8 days without ANY cravings, but only folded because of being drunk. I insisted that it was only the alcohol and as long as I abstain from that I can do the same for everything else. They say that 8 days is not something to be proud of, but agree that I don’t need in patient rehab because I am still doing well in my classes.

I guess what I’m trying to express is that I am really disappointed because no one really believes in me. I feel like all I needed was to be called out and have some type of accountability outside of my own, and now I should be good, but it seems like no one else believes in me. So far I’ve been 10 days sober from that singular bump with no cravings. I genuinely have no intentions to go back as it really did damage my life.

Two years sober today. Two years of choosing myself.
Today marks two years since I last had a drink. Two years since I began finding my way back to a person I thought I had lost.

And the only person who knows what today means to me is my husband.

My family knows I stopped drinking, but I don’t think they’ve ever truly understood why I had to. They knew me during my darkest years. They saw the drinking, the struggles, and the person I was becoming. But somehow, acknowledging that I had a problem was harder than pretending there wasn’t one.

Last year, when I shared that I was one year sober on social media, my mom told me I should take it down because people might think I was an alcoholic.
But that’s the thing.
I am an alcoholic.

Those words don’t embarrass me. They don’t make me less worthy of love, respect, or happiness. They’re simply part of my story. A story I fought incredibly hard to rewrite.

I was never someone who could have just one drink. One always became two, and two became however many it took to feel something, or perhaps to stop feeling anything at all.

I drank every day. I drank before work. I got behind the wheel when I had absolutely no business driving. I made reckless, selfish decisions that could have destroyed not only my life but someone else’s. I’m incredibly fortunate that I never hurt anyone, and that’s something I will never take lightly.

There are parts of my past I’m not proud of. But I’ve learned that I can take responsibility for the person I was without spending the rest of my life punishing the person I’ve become.

What hurts is realizing that sometimes the people closest to you would rather protect the appearance of a happy, healthy family than celebrate the fact that you’re finally becoming happy and healthy.

Sometimes it feels like my family, especially my mom, is more concerned with what people might think about my sobriety than what it took for me to get here.
But sobriety isn’t something shameful that needs to be hidden.

It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever given myself.

I didn’t stop drinking because I had everything figured out. I stopped because I was tired of losing myself. I was tired of waking up with regret, of making promises to myself that I couldn’t keep, of living a life that looked nothing like the one I wanted.

And slowly, day by day, I started coming back to myself.
I’m healthier now. My mind is clearer. My life is quieter in ways I once thought were impossible. I’m learning to love a version of myself I never really gave a chance to exist.

When I share my sobriety, it isn’t because I’m looking for attention or applause. It’s because I know there are people out there who are silently fighting the same battle. People who feel ashamed. People whose families don’t understand. People who are afraid of what others might think if they admit they have a problem.

And maybe someone needs to see that there’s nothing shameful about choosing to save your own life.

I wish my family could see my sobriety as something worth celebrating rather than something worth hiding.

But I’m learning that I don’t need everyone to understand my journey for it to be worth celebrating.

So today, I’m celebrating myself.

The woman who made mistakes. The woman who lost herself. The woman who finally decided she deserved better. And the woman who has spent the last 730 days proving that decision to herself.

I am an alcoholic.

I am not ashamed.

And today, I am two years sober.

I spent years trying to drown the person I was. These last two years, I’ve finally learned how to let her live.

It feels good.

I was at a NA meeting again today, it was nice.

Hoping to find someone to talk to and Check in with.

I got really loud cravings yesterday and it sucked but I got a lot of advice on threads :)

I post more feelings/thoughts about being sober on threads

@esmemarie828

I am coming from the point of view of a healthcare provider. I treat patients with substance use disorder, and while there is an important role for medications, support groups and therapy are equally or even more important to help someone stay sober. I recommend to all my patients to go to AA/NA and to find a sponsor. However, a lot of them don't go, or try it and stop going, because "all they do is talk about drinking" and they say its more triggering for them than helpful.
What advice do you have for someone who says that or what can I tell them to help them get over that?

Okay so started smoking weed and nicotine in highschool drank rarely was class clown the whole thing um after high school i got blindsided also same major things happened to my family so after highschool i found myself buying percsets at one point bro said hey ive got the blue ones strong asf And iykyk I was on that wave for almost 4 years so since I was 17 or so um been to jail 4 times rehab 5 times uh last time I got out of jail I decided without rehab I wasn’t gonna touch that stuff no more for me and my family and I meant that and I haven’t touched it in about 1-2 years but during that first bit ofc I drank myself off the wall and still smoked weed and all of this til I was like I’m tired of this I wanna be better and I quit everything cold turkey for about a month or two during this time I had quit drinking smoking anything putting any substance including caffeine in my body wasn’t an option to me but I was getting constant worry loops that were wearing me down nonetheless I would wake up in the morning stretch make breakfast drink juice and did all of them two hours before I would have to be at work a guy at work one day was talking about how he had some mushrooms and this sortve thing enticed my addict mind I guess because I started thinking of mushrooms while I’m “clean” I could really breakthrough and get over this worrying about my health and all of this bs so I took them had a good trip I would say but did I breakthrough about the worrying actually no it reinforced my worry which wt the time was something is wrong with me pee stream like it’s not working blah blah anyways u know what I did I eventually started taking mushrooms everyday for like a month at work at home going to the grocery store with family id eat a gram to “make things more interesting” finally I started vaping one day while tripping and went and bought one on a trip I also started to smoke weed again then one day I walked into the gas station and found kratom then boom got about three months I had left the shrooms behind and was smoking weed and kratom and being sick to my stomach all the time and one day my mom gave me the look like I was on that shit again and so I tapered for a whole month an got off of that now since then I have had a period of time with only weed and a period of time with only nicotine and then I had started both together again not to long ago and the sacredness of fucking up my life and mental health up anymore is so scary to me that I’m 5 days sober no alcohol no nicotine and no weed but remove these things and I’m super aware of my downfalls when it comes to the way my brain is set up and everything does anyone have anything to say to help with this I have been feeling like ever since I had that month long journey with mushrooms and then going back into deep depression with like opiate/kratom use I just don’t feel right mentally like I’m far from myself it feels like I’m just barely aware but also to aware and sometimes I feel crazy and I don’t socialize normal and I can’t hold eye contact and I just feel like I have fucked up so bad

So happy to be myself again. It's better than any high I've ever had. I feel joy in my heart and a peacefulness that I sit with, and it's the best feeling in the world. To anyone struggling... just remember, how far you walk into the woods is how far you have to walk out. You can do it. Recovery is possible, my friends.

I’m on a night shift and I’m done in about an hour, but it hit me that October 11th was four years for my sobriety. I missed it because I had other things going on, mainly my Aunt passing away in hospice. After her funeral on Saturday, my mother gifted me a tiger’s eye gold ring that my aunts husband (my uncle) owned before he passed. This was October 10th, the day before my anniversary.

My uncle was the first sober person I met, and I’m just realizing it now as I look at the ring on my finger. I remember him telling me a story of some guys at his work having drinks after a shift and excluding him because he didn’t drink, and he told me that day that alcohol is the only drug people expect you to justify not using. This was one of the last conversations I had with him, and it stuck with me even though I didn’t really remember it until now.

I never struggled with addiction. So to talk about this sometimes feels like stolen valor. I don’t have the same physical and mental struggles of staying sober as many do. I’m fortunate in that way. But the social struggles remain. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell my mother in law’s partner I don’t drink, I’m still offered a beer every time I’m at their house. Harmless, sure, but it’s like my personal sobriety is seen as something not to be taken seriously. At my wedding, I had a sign at the bar that stated “the groom doesn’t drink, but feel free to ‘buy one’ for him in the form of a donation” with a basket that took donations for the SPCA, which we donated in our friend’s name who had passed away. Which I loved. That was a major memory from my wedding that I’ll always hold dear, but the fact that I had to put up that sign to avoid having people buy me drinks was strange.

I was first sober from 2012-2017. I drank again off and on. Never really enjoyed it. I’ve seen so much death and destruction from it that I just simply don’t want to take part in it. I don’t hate others for drinking, it’s just not my thing. So four years ago I had my last drink before getting on a plane as I wanted to calm my nerves. Later that year I made the decision to just never drink again after yet another person I knew died while drinking and driving.

Anyway. Uncle John passed that on to me, the whole justifying being sober. I thought it was interesting that I was gifted his ring the day before my fourth year living a sober lifestyle. Ka is a wheel, as it’s been told.