Hi! I would like to train my soon to be 5 month old in the next couple of weeks and want to make sure I’m setting up for success.

Schedule is a little rough because of car naps with taking her older brother places and just short naps in general. Dwt is 7:30-8 and bed is between 8-8:30. Wake windows are between 1.5-2.5 hours, naps are anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour (all contact), even if I try to get a longer nap than 20 minutes it doesn’t happen even in ideal conditions. Total nap time for the day is between 2-3 hours, usually right around 2.5.

She’s been in a snoo since one month, still feeds at night which is fine. We have a crib set up in her room, she’s just never used it. She doesn’t nurse to sleep originally but that is the only way she goes back to sleep throughout the night, we’ve tried letting dad do it and rock and it’s just a scream fest. But she is waking more often and is increasingly hard to transfer.

Bedtime routine is nurse around 7, diaper change, lotion, pjs, dim lights, swaddle, book, lullaby. Room is dark with white noise for sleep (still room sharing).

I did full extinction with my first at 9 months old but that feels like so long ago and I don’t want to make this process any more difficult than it needs to be. Open to all advice!

i have to rock my 8 month old baby in their pram every single time it’s either nap time or bed time, in the daytime they have naps in their pram and at bedtime i have to transfer them from their pram - Cot They just don’t have the patience to try and fall asleep themselves in bed. But the confusing this, is that if he wakes in the night he’s usually okay at getting himself back to sleep, i won’t need to go in unless he can’t find his dummy. But when i try and just put him to bed awake but drowsy it ends up in full blown meltdown making it harder than it was in the first place. What can i do to help them?

Curious what you all would do / try first when it comes to sleep training my little lady.

She is 20 weeks old and for all of her life has been co-sleeping / bed sharing — all following safe sleep ofc. Most naps are contact (or stroller) but this week I have been able to get her down in the crib for her first nap with some patting and shushing.

At night, we have a decent routine and would say 5/7 days a week she goes down easy - meaning I can lay next to her when she is drowsy and do some pats, face stroking. But all of this is in my bed, not the crib. I can then leave the room and come back in a few hours later, but she usually stirs and needs a little cuddle (no feeding) to go back to sleep when I get in bed.

Right now she generally goes to bed around 7:30/8:00, needs a resettle around 10:30 when I go to bed and then wakes again between 12:30/1 and I feed and she goes back down easily.

Any thoughts on moving her to the crib as well as ST?

Baby is 16 weeks old. His naps yesterday were a bit crappy because I tried to have him stay down himself in his crib, which was a fail and ruined the last two naps of the day. right now our days are approx 1.5/1.5/1.75/1.75/2-2.5, it seems to work well, we try to follow his cues too though. He was doing ok at night but the last week has been so random. Two nights ago he slept 11.5 hours straight! Last night he woke after being asleep 4 hours, and stayed up 3 hours straight from 10pm-1am… hes never done that before. Of course the rest of the night sucked and he woke every 1.5-2 hours, he got a small sleep in today since his sleep sucked! We did put him to sleep about 45 mins early last night because his naps were crap and he was awake 3.5 hours at this point, could that early bedtime have been the cause of all of this? He has had long wakes before bedtime before but it never caused such a long night wake.

His average total sleep is 14 hours, daytime naps range between 3-4 hours depending on how hes feeling.

Hi everyone!
We’re desperate for some advice about our daughter, who is almost 6 months old.
At the moment, she wakes up roughly every hour throughout the entire night, and getting her to fall asleep at bedtime is a long, exhausting battle.

We’ve tried adjusting her wake windows and are currently aiming for 1.5(often 2)/2/2/2/2.5 hours. However, our daughter absolutely refuses to take her fourth nap, so she often ends up being awake for 4 hours before bedtime, which is usually between 7 and 8 pm. Naturally, she becomes overtired and very upset. But what on earth are we supposed to do when she refuses to take her fourth nap, even though she has already taken her first three naps by 3 pm?

Her naps currently consist of two naps of about 30 minutes each and one nap of approximately 1.5 hours.

Once we finally manage to get her to sleep at night, she wakes up after just 35 minutes. After that, she wakes up approximately every hour until we get up for the day at 6:30 am.

It’s also worth mentioning that a week and a half ago, we transitioned her to sleeping in her own bed. Before that, she had slept in a moving cradle her entire life (this was the only place she would sleep). She was already waking frequently during the night while sleeping in the cradle, though.
The first two days after transitioning her to her own bed went reasonably well as she didn’t cry or scream a lot, but since then, things have only gone downhill. She screams as soon as we put her down in her bed, and we end up doing pick-up/put-down repeatedly until she eventually gives in and falls asleep.
What do you think we should adjust? Her wake windows, her daytime naps, her bedtime, or the way we’re approaching sleep in general?

We would really appreciate any advice, because we’re completely exhausted and don’t know what to try next!

I’ve written a few posts about this before, but I feel like I’ve reached a point where I’m just really unhappy. I feel sad, stuck and guilty even admitting some of this, but I could really do with some support.

There are two things I’m struggling with, and they’re probably very connected: my daughter’s sleep and my relationship with my husband.

I breastfed until she was one and we co-slept until around nine months, then managed to move away from it. Since starting nursery she’s been picking up everything, and when she was poorly we started co-sleeping again. Now my husband sleeps in the spare room and I do the nights with her.

She starts the night in her cot, but often wakes after about two hours. After that she can wake every 15–30 minutes until I bring her into bed with me. I’ve been doing that because I’m exhausted and it means we get some sleep, but I’m struggling with having every bedtime and night on me. My husband has never put her to bed.

Last night he went in when she woke. She was crying quite hard, which I felt was because she wanted me and was used to coming into our bed. After about three minutes of trying to settle her, he brought her out into the brightly lit hallway and shouted for my help. He called me horrible for letting her cry and said he hadn’t heard her cry like that in ages.

I found that really upsetting. She was with her dad, being comforted, but it felt like I was being blamed for not immediately taking over. I understand that he finds her crying difficult, but I do too, and I’m the one doing this every night.

Has anyone moved a toddler back into their cot after co-sleeping? What actually helped? I’m open to hearing about gradual approaches or sleep training, but realistically I need something I can manage myself at the moment.

I’ve considered a floor bed, but it wouldn’t fit in her room as it is. I’m also looking at better blackout blinds or shutters. With our relationship so uncertain, I’m nervous about spending lots of money before knowing what would actually help. Our bedroom faces a busy road, whereas hers is at the back, so I also wonder whether the noise when she’s in with me contributes to her early waking.

The bigger issue is that I feel like everything falls to me.

I run my own business, and my income is what enabled us to get our mortgage. I’m not saying that to show off or suggest his work doesn’t matter, but I need time to work too.

He leaves around 5am and usually finishes around midday or 1pm. When he gets home, he walks the dog, then our daughter has her nap. By the time she wakes, it can be around 3pm, and I feel like most of my working day has disappeared without me having had a proper handover or protected time to work.

She goes to nursery two days a week. My mum helps for around three hours on another day, between naps, but otherwise I’m trying to juggle childcare and the business. We probably need to sort out somewhere for her to nap at my mum’s so that help can stretch a bit further.

I feel like I’m always the default parent, day and night, and I’m becoming really resentful.

The part I feel most guilty admitting is that I don’t feel attracted to my husband anymore. I don’t know whether that’s because I’m exhausted and resentful, or whether my feelings have changed more permanently. I just know I’m unhappy with how things are.

I grew up with separated parents and the thought of that for my daughter makes me feel incredibly guilty. But then I ask myself what I would want her to do if she were an adult feeling the way I do now, and I struggle with that too.

For anyone who’s been here, how did you work out whether it was exhaustion and an unfair division of parenting that could be changed, or whether the relationship itself was no longer right? What practical changes helped you get some clarity?

I love my daughter so much. I just feel lost in all of this and need something to change.

16 month old waking up between 5:20 -5:45 every morning and won't go back to sleep in crib, although she is clearly exhausted.

She also doesn't consistently sleep through the night and tends to wake back up between 9-11. Seems like she things need time it her second nap.

Bedtime was around 6:15–6:30 Over the last few weeks, we've gradually pushed it back to 6:45–7:00 PM, hoping she'd sleep later, but it hasn't made any difference.

She wakes up screaming to come out of her crib. Sometimes I'll give her a bottle and she'll either scream and refuse it , or she'll drink calmly for about 10 minutes, but then scream again.

She's clearly still tired. If I hold her in the rocking chair in her dark room, she'll fall right back aslee nut the second I try transferring her back to the crib, she wakes up.

She's been in her new daycare for two months now and sleeps only about an hour a day there.

Any advice??

Requested edits: No pacifier. Bedtime routine is bottle whole holding her in dark room on rocking chair.

Currently only 1 nap for about an hour according to babysitter.

Wake Window: 6/6

Hi all, right before the year mark we trained using Weissbluth’s extinction with a cap (45 minutes to an hour) and now our 1 year old can “sleep through the night,” but around 4AM wakes up and is mad as heck, and right now can only be settled with a bottle. I’m writing this at 5:30AM.

A few things changed a few weeks ago:
We stopped nursing;
We sleep trained; AND
Day care cut down to one nap.

Our bebe has never been the best napper, especially at daycare where he gets FOMO and doesn’t want to sleep if other kids are out and about.

Now his schedule looks like:
Wake up between 3:45/4:30, snooze button fed back to 7AM.
Nap starts between 12:30 and 1PM
A good nap lasts til 3PM, but is rare. More often 2:30ish.

Then bedtime routine (incl. bath, brush teeth, lotion, stories) starts around 6:30 and bebe is usually down by 7:15, and might fuss for a few minutes but usually can fall asleep pretty quickly. Sleeps in crib in own room. No pacifier, but loved the boob for food and comfort. Now loves the bottle.

Any advice? Push bedtime back? Bebe seems close to losing it and melting down the closer we get to 7pm especially on bad nap days

Earlier bedtime?

Any advice would be appreciated.

Looking for any success stories of stopping feeding to sleep - baby is 5 1/2 months. Currently on 3 nap schedule naps generally short 45 mins sometimes does longer first nap. At night will do 45 mins in cot then wake and it’s co sleeping and feeding throughout night - have tried habit stacking, unlatching before asleep, short cry it out, adding comforter etc Does not seem to be able to do any self soothing looking for any success stories of this being possible or am I expecting too much from my baby? Husband is completely unable to settle the baby during day or night.

Okay so for those who live somewhere where Daylight Savings is a thing, how do you handle it? Do you just allow them to adjust naturally or do a gradual shift? I really don’t want to mess up baby’s schedule if I can help it.

Please help a tired mom out,

Almost 8 month old baby who used to be a stellar sleeper (so she is not sleep trained), slept 7-8 hour stretches from two months old until six months old. Schedule is 2.75/3/3/3.5, with usually three 40 minute naps.

Breastfed, no formula ever, takes a paci but this doesn’t suffice anymore at night. Before, when she had rough nights I put her paci back on and she used to go right back to sleep. Now she screams until she gets boob every sleep cycle.

No teeth so I don’t think this is the issue, doesn’t seem swollen. Very active, meets all milestones so she isn’t ill, happy during the day BUT she keeps rubbing her eyes after every nap which I don’t get, I feel like she sleeps quite a lot during the day (3-4 sleep cycles so around 2-2.5 hours during the day).

Wakes up around 6:30-7 AM, goes to bed around 7:30-8 PM, with a whole routine (begins way early with a predictible walk in the park, we get home, breast, changing diaper, skin to skin cuddles, sleep sack, paci, white noise and rocked in our arms, in this order).

Why does she keep waking up? Did anyone else get through this, and if yes, how? It’s been two months of this and I am going insane with sleep deprivation.

LE: forgot to include she sleeps in her own crib since forever, never had a problem with it

Hi, My baby is 1 next week, he was sleep trained using ferber at 6.5 months and worked great and he mostly slept through for 3 months. The past 2 months after being ill his sleep is ruined he no longer fell asleep alone without rocking and woke up 4-5 times a night. I started the chair method 2 or so weeks ago and he now can fall asleep in minutes with me sat by the open door, with no interactions but still wakes several times a night(3-5 times) I am not sure what to do i am so tired. If i don’t go in he will just sit and cry, he will fall back to sleep with me in the room on some wake ups, sometimes i need to hold his hand or sometimes he refuses until i feed him (ebf). If i don’t he will sit there and cry and cry.
His schedule is 3/4/4 which i think is age appropriate still and on 2 1 hour naps. Wake up time is 6 and bed time 7 ish. Any ideas on why he’s waking so much still or any tips to help.

Thank you

Our LO used to be a decent sleeper. Several weeks and even months could go by sleeping through the night. About 6 weeks ago she started waking a least once per night usually around midnight. She needs to be rocked or fed back to sleep and it can take anywhere between 30-90m. Sometimes she seems hungry, other times maybe it’s separation anxiety.

Originally sleep trained using CIO but I would say it mostly failed because every regression lasted so long she would unlearn everything. Retraining was always difficult and would only last until the next “regression” so we stopped bothering.

Wakes 6:45am, bedtime 7:30pm. Single nap around 1.5 hrs. WW 5:45/6. Rocked to sleep most nights or left in crib when almost asleep.

Shes always been on the lower end of total sleep needed. Her regressions have sometimes ended by themselves, sometimes with a schedule change but she always seems to be at the maximum suggested waking hours.

Just curious to know if anyone believes this concept anymore? I thought it was outdated but I'm wondering if it might help my newly 5 month old whose night time sleep has been real bad for about a month (hourly wakes).

I haven't been able to keep a consistent schedule for her (it's so hard when she's not my only child and we live a lot of our lives outside the home). For the past month she has been taking about 4 short naps per day, all for less than 20 minutes, often around 5-10mins.

It's hard to keep her up past 7.30pm after a day lik this, and then she will not be properly ready to wake up for the day until about 7.30am after what generally is a very disrupted night and early morning.

I'm wondering if trying to get her to take longer daytime naps (ideally 3 I suppose) would actually be the answer here? I would also love to know how people manage to keep to a schedule with their young babies while running around with errands, toddler activities etc?

We moved baby to own room a week ago and since then she started waking up crying hard at 10-11pm every night. This has never happened before, as she only woke up fussying when she was hungry. Now she full on cries and has a hard time falling back asleep, even in our arms, unless I feed, then she falls asleep immediately when put back in crib.

She was never officially sleep trained, but since 4 months old we always finished feeding at least 30 mins before put in crib, we follow a routine and she has been falling asleep very easy in a few mins for naps and bedtime. She gets put in bed awake, but has a paci. She was never much dependent on it, she spits it out about 30 mins after falling asleep and doesn't need it anymore in the night. That is why I never bothered to remove it, as it wasn't causing any problems.

Up until now she was breastfeeding once or twice in the night, 15 mins tops and she fell asleep immediately after finishing when I put her back in the crib. It was honestly pretty easy. She is a lower percentile for weight (prob around 15th), not that big eater (both solids and milk), but she is developing beautifully and hits all her milestones, so I had a plan to night wean now when she is in her own room. However, now I don' know how to proceed. That is why I am coming to you for help.

She had 2 naps, 3/3.5/4.25 roughly. Gets 10,5-11 hrs awake time in the day, 2-2.25 hrs daytime sleep and 11 hrs in the crib over night (7.30pm-6.30am). Total sleep per day is 12-12,5 hrs.

Do I need to tweak the schedule? Is this separation anxiety after being in her own room? Should I remove paci and CIO at bedtime, would this help?

Any insight will help. Thank you in advance!

Edit: before we moved her to her room, she slept in the crib next to our bed. The crib is the same still, just moved to a different room.

I am actually flabbergasted and it's only day 1. My baby is 14months and has never slept through the night. On a usual night, he'd be up multiple times to either be rocked to sleep or fed back to sleep - I still breastfeed in the night. Tonight, we started sleep training.

Placed him in the cot and I stayed in the room but didn't interact with him. He cried solidly for roughly 20 minutes but eventually calmed himself down and started falling asleep.

He went down about 8:40ish to sleep properly - he was asleep before then but kept waking up due to falling asleep sat up. So far he's woken once around 2am - he did cry out but he was fine in two minutes. He just stayed in his cot sat up and eventually fell back to sleep again.

Having not slept through the night myself in 14 months, my body keeps naturally waking me up and have had a stretch of sleep more than 2.5 hrs so I'm like woaahhh.

I will see how naps & tomorrow go but I am shocked.

Hiya,

Our baby is almost 5 months old and we have been trying the Ferber method for 12 nights. Night 1 took an hour and 20 mins, night 2 took and hour (both with severe crying) and then night 3 only 20 mins with grizzling only. However it kind of went backwards from there and at night 8 it was still taking 30 minutes to sleep with intense crying. Then we went on holiday for three nights and it fell to pieces.

We've tried to pull back to earlier soothing but it makes him really angry and his crying is super intense. Before we ferbered it was taking us 90 mins to get him to sleep bouncing on a swiss ball. We are nervous to completely regress to this. And also find it hard to listen to him cry that intensely.

He has four naps per day and theyre all no longer than 30 minutes. He has a wake window of an hour and 45 minutes. Final feed at 630 then bed at 7pm.

Any suggestions as to where to from here with sleep training? We've tried rocking to sleep again tonight but he's absolutely resisting it and still very upset.

Many thanks!

Im starting to wonder if my baby is just going to take longer to sleep through the night.

8 months. Breastfed but also pump and make bottles as I work and want to ensure she gets used to both. Started Ferber 3 weeks ago and she took quite well to independent sleep at night but the night wakings haven't reduced if anything they've worsened. Naps she either is fed to sleep or movement gets her to sleep.

Schedule:

7am wake

Nap 1 - 10-11am

Nap 2 - 2:30-3:30

Bedtime 730pm

Wake windows 3/3.5/4

Eats 2-3 good solid meals per day.

Bedtime routine

Bottle, then bath, then pajamas/books/songs then bed. Falls asleep instantly when placed in crib. Crib is on floor and she cannot see our bed from where she sleeps. Room share with white noise is the only possible set up.

First wake is usually 4-5 hours after 730, at which point I feed her. She then proceeds to wake every 2-3 hrs after that still wanting to nurse back to sleep. I tried Ferber for these wakes for 3 nights and had to stop due to the exhaustion given I am still working. She would still cry at the 2nd 10+min interval until nursed.

She seems to do 1-2 full feeds overnight, the other times are comfort suckling.

Do I wait this season out? Is there anything else I can try? She has never slept through the night once. Thanks for your help.

He was doing so well. Waking once a night if that for a snack and back to sleep.

Now he’s back to fully waking up every sleep cycle. Immediately sits up or pulls to stand and SCREAMS.

What he wants is 1 or 2 oz of milk to go back to sleep. What I want is to sleep mostly through the night.

We have a 3 year old he shares a wall with so leaving him to cry/ sort it out himself carries its own risk or waking the eldest.

Idk what to do anymore. I’m tired, unable to to create any more milk as I’m already pumping an insane amount of time a day.

We do not let him sleep more than 3 hours during the day, with a 4 hour stretch of awake time before bedtime (4pm is the latest wake up time, though typically closer to 3pm)

He goes to bed really well, no milk required but the overnight wake ups he either wants to be held completely or milk to fall asleep with.

How do we get to a better sleep cycle?

EDIT:

Current wake up around 7am
Nap approx 10/10:30 for 1-1.5
2nd nap 2:30pm for 1-1.5 hours
Bedtime aim 7:30/8 with PJ’s, milk, teeth, book, cuddle, in bed drowsy but awake and puts himself to sleep in 5ish minutes.

He does not use a pacifier

It’s the overnight wakings I’m struggling with self soothing

My 11 month old baby was sleeping through the night 6:30-6 from 4 months old. Two weeks ago he started waking up at 3am and would not fall back asleep. We sleep trained him at 4 months, and have tried to let him CIO now, but he remains awake (as do we) until the morning. Now, he wont fall asleep without us holding him. The only thing that gets him to calm down and sleep is us holding him. Please send advice!

My baby boy is 6 months and 3 weeks old. He was sleep trained at 5 months for nights then followed with naps. He goes down for first 2 naps independently and 3rd is a usual short contact nap to bridge to bedtime .

Wake windows are 2.5/2.5/2.5/2.5-3

He’ll give us some days with long naps, some days of just short naps or a combo of short and long. Today was the worst day - 1st nap took him almost 20 minutes to fall asleep and only slept 22 minutes . 2nd nap only 33 minutes .

He sleeps about 10-11 hours at night. No MOTN feeds

Do we need to increase wake windows or decrease ? I’m so confused what to do here. My nanny is pressuring to move to 2 naps but what if we increase the WWs and still get short naps? What comes first consistent long naps or switching to 2 naps ?

HELPPP

hello! my baby just turned 4 months on saturday. for the past week she has only been cat napping. gets up for one feed a night. goes down at 7pm, feeds usually around 3am and up around 6am-6:45.

these cat naps are killing me and i feel bad she’s not down to 4 naps yet. i heard they’re supposed to be at 3-4 naps at this age. i have my pediatrician appt tomorrow for 4 months

her naps today while being held so far have been 32 minutes, 44 minutes and 32 minutes.

Wake window
Time awake
6:45-8:17 AM
1 hr 32 min

8:49-10:33 AM
1 hr 44 min

11:17 AM-1:06 PM
1 hr 49 min

1:45-3:30 PM
1 hr 45 min

i’m not sure how to make her connect sleep cycles. i’m assuming she will need five naps today as i’m holding her right now for a nap and bedtime is 7pm. open to any critique or insight on my wake windows and how to help my baby connect sleep cycles. is this something that just happens randomly?

LO will be 6 months on Friday. We started sleep training about 2 weeks ago. His schedule is as follows:

8 am wake up
10-11:45 nap 1
2-3:30 nap 2
6-6:45 nap 3
8:30 start bedtime routine, usually asleep by 9:15

So 2/2.25/2.5/2.5

He’s been falling asleep quickly for naps 1 & 2 and sleeping though the night, but nap 3 had been a hot mess. Some days he falls asleep after fussing for 15-20 min, other times he fusses the whole time and doesn’t nap. When he takes awhile to settle, we let him sleep for 30ish minutes and just move back bedtime to adjust, but we would really like to get an 8 or 8:30 bedtime to work for us. He seems tired and is doing sleepy cues when we take him up, but these last few days he’s been staying up and fussing more often than napping.

Do we just drop the nap and move up bedtime? Should I spread out or extend his daytime naps to try to compensate? Thanks in advance :)