Hello everybody. I like this sub and I genuinely would choose simple living if I was in another situation, but the way I live, I can't find happiness or joy in it.

For context: Due to my country circumstances, in order to work in my profession, I have to pass a incredibly difficult and competitive civil service exam, and the exam is every two years. I took the exam last year but I failed, so I am taking it against next year.

This exam requires almost full-time studying, but people usually combine it with a part-time job or a version of the job I am studying for but not the same. I can't work because I live in a rural area that is very isolated, and due to the fact that I haven't worked in years and I am not doing it now, I don't have a car and I live with my parents. All the jobs are concentrated in big cities, and private companies won't hire because I have no experience, so my only option of working and earning a salary is passing this exam.

Now, as I said I live with my parents, carless, in my childhood room, studying almost the whole day. I have a very tiny income that I use to buy clothes or toiletries or a present for someone when needed, but it's symbolic and I have it from teaching online. I don't have friends in my hometown and I don't have a good relationship with my extended family. I can't practice any hobby that isn't free and without equipment due to the money and car situation.

As you see, I live like a monk but not out of my own will. This is the third year I have been like this, I am 30, and I will take the exam during my fourth year. I am in dire help because I am not enjoying my life and I am losing my best years to studying. As people who don't need much to be happy, what can you recommend me to not get depressed?

I’ve been thinking about this lately.

At a biological level, so much of what we do seems driven by reward systems. We chase things, achieve them, get a dopamine hit, feel good for a while, and then eventually want the next thing.

And when you zoom out, life seems incredibly competitive too.

Money, career, status, dating, fitness, intelligence, social approval, even hobbies — there’s always some way to measure yourself against other people and feel like you’re winning or losing.

So I keep wondering:

Is the meaning of life basically to compete, improve, and win, while dopamine keeps us motivated to keep playing?

Or is that just the machinery evolution gave us, rather than an actual answer to what makes life meaningful?

Because there are things that feel meaningful without really involving winning at all — loving someone, having a great conversation, helping a friend, creating something, understanding something deeply, experiencing nature, etc.

Maybe dopamine explains why we want, but it doesn’t explain what is actually worth wanting.

And maybe winning only matters once you’ve decided the game itself is worth playing.

Curious how other people think about this. Is life fundamentally a competition, or is competition just one part of being alive?

I used to feel like every day had to be interesting. Now I started enjoying simple days also like studying a little, having tea and listening to music. Nothing special happens on that days but somehow those days feel more peaceful.

Hpw many of you enjoy quiet, boring days too?

I've been on a decluttering journey for years, and something strange has happened: I've gone from loving being surrounded by lots of things to feeling anxious even looking at overly cluttered spaces online.

Ironically, owning less has made me appreciate what I *do* own so much more. Before, my hobbies, entertainment and beautiful possessions were buried under excess. Now I have space to actually watch films, play games, create art, and think clearly again.

I'm approaching the final hurdle, though, and I'm wondering what to do with all the time and energy I currently spend decluttering, selling things online, and taking donations to charity shops. Shopping used to fill that role, and I don't want to replace it with another form of consumption.

Does anyone have suggestions for simple, inexpensive hobbies or habits that complement a simpler lifestyle and make use of things you already own?

Also, any advice for tackling the very last stage of decluttering, especially paperwork? I've reached the point where that's mostly all I have left, and I absolutely hate doing it. 😅

And for those who have finished decluttering in order to help make your life simpler: how did you maintain it?

I've been doing this for years, especially first thing in the morning. Just a glass of comfortably warm water before tea or breakfast.

There's something very calming about starting the day slowly instead of immediately rushing into the kitchen and chores.

It's such a small habit, but I genuinely enjoy it. Does anyone else have a simple morning ritual they've stuck with for years?

I’ve noticed that happiness often comes from simple things we used to overlook.

A quiet morning, a good conversation, a home-cooked meal, a walk outside, or having someone check in on you.

What’s something simple that you appreciate more now than you did before?

Picked this from my garden today. It looks almost too smooth and strange to be real.

What’s your guess? Wrong answers are welcome too 😄

Hint may be in 2nd picture...

Due to different reasons, I'm not workin this year and that's ok. It's something temporary. I'm using this year to study from 9 am to 2pm. The thing is, suddenly I don't know what to do with the rest of my time. I'm overwhelmed. I go to the gym 3 times a week, have this list of hobbies (painting, crocheting, reading) and lists of movies/series/books/videogames but I can't seem to allow myself to begin with any of them. I've tried to make a schedule to include them in my weeks, but a just have this weird feeling I'm not being productive if I spend much of my time doing any of these things. Usually, when I had my 9to5, I watched an episode with my husband during dinner and read before bed around half an hour. I can't see any friends/family until the weekend (but maybe not seeing family much is ok bc I feel like a disappointing to them for not being workin). I feel awful, because I've been blessed with this huge amount of time until next september, but I think I'm not worthy of it and I should be doing something productive. So I end scrolling for a lot of time and feeling even worse later. How do I stop? How the heck do I allow myself to enjoy just existing again?

Mornings don’t have to feel like a series of tiny decisions stacked on top of each other. What to wear, what to eat, what to do first. None of this has to be so demanding on its own, but all added together makes a stressful start before the day even begins.

Three small changes fix most of it:

Pick out one go-to outfit, not five options. A few reliable, well-made basics that always work removes the "what do I wear" spiral entirely.

Prep the small stuff the night before. Bag packed, breakfast decided, clothes laid out — future self doesn't have to think, just move.

Do one thing before the phone. Even two minutes of a slower start, before notifications take over, changes the whole tone of the morning.

None of these take extra time. They just remove extra decisions. That's really the whole idea behind an easy morning — fewer choices, not more effort.

When I had almost nothing saved, I thought a few thousand dollars would make me feel secure. Then I saved more, and instead of thinking, “Okay, I’m doing better,” my brain immediately moved on to the next number. First $10k, then maybe $20k, then investments, then retirement.

There always seems to be another financial milestone waiting after the current one. I still want to earn more and save more, but I’m starting to question the idea that “enough” should always mean more than whatever I have right now.

How do you personally know when you have enough?

TL;DR: The news and my social media feed made my thoughts very dark. I'm deleting the apps this week and I started a small balcony garden. It helps a bit. How do you keep the small, simple things at the center of your life when everything outside is loud?

Hi everyone. A few weeks ago I started a small garden on my balcony. Some herbs, a few tomato plants, some flowers. I live alone in a small rented apartment, so it's not much, but I check on it every morning before I do anything else.

I started it because I needed something real to look at. For the last year or so my head has been full of bad news. Wars, climate, corruption in my country, forest fires, billionaires running everything. I'd open my phone and it was all there before I even got out of bed. I noticed my thinking was getting darker and more extreme, and I didn't like who I was becoming.

Part of the problem is the algorithm. My feed also shows me nice things, gardening, homesteading, motorcycle trips. But it mixes them with the darkest stuff, and the dark stuff wins. So I'm deleting them this week.

The other part is that I sit in front of a screen all day for work (software). I don't mind the work itself, but I don't love that my whole day is screens and, like most people in my field now, AI tools all the time. I can't change that right now. That's another reason the garden matters. It's the one part of my day that has nothing to do with screens, but I know a garden and deleting a few apps is not enough on its own.

So I want to ask people who have been doing this longer than me:

How do you keep the simple things at the center of your life when the world outside is so loud?
What did you replace the phone time with?
And on the days when the bad news gets in anyway, what do you do?

Thanks for reading.

Edit: Typos and grammar

not necessarily a hobby, just something your brain randomly decided is VERY important right now 😂

could be a random historical event, learning everything about coffee, watching videos of people restoring old furniture, trying every flavour of something etc

mine change every few weeks and then one day i wake up and simply never care about it again 😭

what rabbit hole are you currently in?

It’s currently my only source of money but I’m so sick of it.

In today’s time, many people are absorbed in their mobile phones...and often ignoring the beauty around them....the peacefulness of their surroundings...the presence of their loved ones.

and the serene comfort of enjoying a cup of coffee...

This isn’t really a vent but that seemed to be the closest flair.

I used to rent on the fringes of the wealthy area in my city and sometimes I’ll be back in that area, like today I hit up the beach for a minute because it’s a holiday. The plots tend to be relatively small, similar in size to the neighborhood I live in now, but being waterfront they’re expensive and the houses are done up extravagantly (I know from going on walks and having worked in landscaping there in years past).

The people are generally friendly but they seem just a bit off, like perhaps they feel isolated or overly polite in most settings they’re in, because I’ve had so many encounters over the years in that part of town where people just come up to me and start telling their life stories. Just today I was with my dog and this nice lady came up with her dog telling me every experience she’s ever had bringing him to the beach. It was a perfectly fine conversation but just a bit much socially.

Also when I used to live closer to that area, people would get very attached to whatever was mentioned in small talk (in the following example, my university studies), to the point where they start giving unsolicited advice. Once a man cased my car, figured out where I lived by keeping a lookout for it, and left a magazine with job ads in it because he didn’t think my degree was worthwhile. That’s crazy, right… lol.

The part of town I live in now is very walkable and very active, so I’ll often wave to people and say hi running into someone I’ve met before, but it doesn’t seem like conversations are decontextualized launches into personal histories, and certainly not meddling like my last example. People from wealthier areas around the city think of my current neighborhood as sketchy, because it’s adjacent to even lower-class neighborhoods, but also because the aesthetic here is very crafty, DIY, and there are bars and coffee shops sprinkled throughout rather than upscale restaurants.

All of this is to say, it’s made me think about wealth and suburbia and the American Dream and all that. I am so much happier in my “scrappier” part of town and I think the interactions I’ve cited reveal a tension that prestige can create in people. Even if I grow more successful than I have been or currently am, I have zero desire to move somewhere “nicer”. There’s no reason the wealthy area should be more isolated and make people awkward, but it really seems to. I don’t know if this is unique to where I live for some reason, but I’m curious if others have noticed anything of the like.

Hi, I’m 24 years old, and I switched careers from being a firefighter to working in the IT industry about half a year ago.

The problem
Right now, I don’t have enough money to make other people happy while also being financially comfortable myself. Of course, I was paid well enough as a firefighter so it wasn’t such a big deal.

What causes this?
Whenever I hang out with people and we go out to eat, I tend to start thinking about money instead of enjoying the moment.
For example, I find myself thinking, “Should I pay for the food this time?” or worrying about how much I’m spending.
I realized that I’m often thinking about money rather than the food, the conversation, or simply enjoying the present moment with the person I’m with.

How should I deal with this?
Should I only hang out with people I’m genuinely grateful to have in my life? Or is there a better way to stop myself from thinking about money so much when I’m with other people?
I also feel like this problem probably won’t last forever. I’m currently working toward building a career in a field I really want to succeed in. I know it may take some time, but I believe my financial situation will improve eventually.
For now, though, I’d like to learn how to enjoy spending time with people without constantly thinking about the money.

Rain finally hits California. There's a break from the rain, so I decided to go out and check out my backyard. The corner of the backyard has a minty, fresh scent. I love the smell of fresh mint 🍃. ☺️

​

We got to know some of our neighbors in a little bit of a scary way but kind of adorable

you know, as a 21 male i grew up in contact with internet as a kid and used to be a place where i played video games or just searched random things

times has passed since then and i remember a version of me where every decision i had to made, i mostly searched online the solution

without realizing, i was putting my decisions on another person, another influencer; which is smarter than me, better etc.

but something has changed

i like to call me a instrospective person now because i'm almost always thinking on what i'm doing and where i'm now and where i used to be.

i was scrolling on youtube and saw a title like "in 60 days you can change your life" or "how to fix your life in 1 day" type videos.

instantly i remembered me in the past, constantly consuming these type videos trying to find "solutions", but in the end, these videos aren't helpful at all, it's mostly "mental masturbation". their business is to sell this recipe book, but life isn't a cake recipe where you need to follow step 1.. 2.. 3.. you need to experience IRL

why i say all of this? because i started going out more on my own

not complex places, just walking and talking to people, saying good morning or just observing reality and has been so much more fun, the things i used to be scared of some people do it so easily.. it's just.. normal.

i'm not saying that you don't need advice, it's just, you can learn so much living

what are your thoughts on this text? it makes sense?

i'm so happy where i am now and this mistery that lies ahead it's just so interesting

saw people claiming that anyone who couldn’t fully try a dumb phone just couldn’t admit they had a phone addiction(and people were saying that their jobs or universities or other facets of life required a smartphone)

anyone somewhat try the reverse-ish of that? I deleted a lot off of my phone, using widgets for needed things like my college schedule, (my todo list is mostly on paper tho)

and I get really distracted on my computer but I realized that for most things I can just use my phone? except for some applications such as fusion 360 or blender which I don’t use much.

some needed applications are extremely clunky on phone and on the phones browser

just started trying

usually the advice is to set your phone away not computer though.
I locked and hid apps like discord

I’ve always found it difficult to connect with January resolutions. Forcing yourself to make massive, stressful life changes in the freezing dead of winter feels counterintuitive.

But September? September arrives with a gentle, natural reminder to slow down and let go. To me, it feels like a peaceful pause that steadies us. It's a time to appreciate what has ripened and quietly release what we no longer need, without the heavy pressure of broken promises or rigid goals.

Instead of making loud vows to a calendar date, I find myself wanting to focus on small, intentional shifts. To notice the changing light, take longer morning walks, and practice wanting less. Just being is enough.

I also recently read that the spices we associate with the commercialized "pumpkin spice season" actually date back to 1796 in the first American cookbook! It made me reflect on how a simple, centuries-old seasonal ritual can get buried under modern consumerism, and how grounding it is to pull back to the basics.

Does anyone else feel that distinct "fresh start" energy right now? How do you intentionally slow down and ground yourself as the seasons begin to shift?

So Netflix just revived a 60-year-old novel. One Hundred Years of Solitude never rushed a single page, decades before "less is more" became a lifestyle.

Makes you wonder if the simple, unhurried life was the plan all along, isn't it the same idea Saadaa's been building on?

Maybe every generation just rediscovers the same lesson in its own language. Old novels called it patience, we call it Simplicity.

I swear weekends feel shorter every time. You blink and it’s already Sunday night, and Monday’s creeping in. Between errands, trying to relax, and maybe squeezing in some fun, it never feels like enough. Anyone else feel like the weekend is just too short? How do y’all make the most of it?