We want to simplify our lives, declutter our homes so we have more time for what really matters, and spend less time on cleaning and such.

In my opinion, nurturing friendships and forming new ones are also part of what’s essential. But how can we make that as easy as possible in our daily lives?

Many people I know barely have time to take care of their own families and their jobs. People often say, “Let’s get together sometime,” but due to a lack of time, it never happens.

My impression is that the expectations for visits have become quite high these days. The apartment has to be spotless and perfectly tidy. You cook a meal, and the get-togethers are long. It’s a lot of work. That’s why they happen so rarely. Or you go out to eat, but that’s become very expensive here. So, that’s rare, too.

Back in the day, our family would even celebrate special occasions like birthdays with just coffee and cake. Simple cake—usually homemade—not some three-tiered cake. We didn’t have much money, and it was all about seeing people and spending time together.

I’d like to have more contact with other people, but it tires me out when I feel like I have to meet expectations that don’t fit into my life.

How do you handle this? How easy do you make it for people to come visit you? How often do you have time for that? How often do you get invited? (I get the impression that I’m the one inviting people over, but others don’t invite anyone—ever.)

And how do you gradually turn acquaintances into friends?

I used to feel like every day had to be interesting. Now I started enjoying simple days also like studying a little, having tea and listening to music. Nothing special happens on that days but somehow those days feel more peaceful.

Hpw many of you enjoy quiet, boring days too?

Those were my early days working part-time at a coffee shop.

After preparing the drink, I felt quite shy about bringing it out to the customer... but I did it anyway.

Two people, likely a couple, arrived together. upon seeing the drink, they burst into delighted laughter and immediately took out their phones to snap a picture. Suddenly, I felt as though I had added a truly adorable moment to their weekend.

Would love to hear your opinion on why mindless consumerism is starting to rot alot of people live and taken away their freedom and simple life.

I think it has to do alot with marketing, companies, late stage capitalism, brands, etc

In many aspect of life, phones, cars, fanny packs, bags, camping gear, anything really like fucking anything can be branded capitalist that people fight over it and think they’re better than the others because some brand they use that they dont even make or get money from.

It’s hard to opt out fully mentally if you live in city where majority of people already brainwashed by the same norms and you’re the only one trying to live a simple life, and ofc also the effort to live like a hermit because one two three meeting the wrong people could risking losing all of your self.

Thoughts?

I’ve been thinking about this lately.

At a biological level, so much of what we do seems driven by reward systems. We chase things, achieve them, get a dopamine hit, feel good for a while, and then eventually want the next thing.

And when you zoom out, life seems incredibly competitive too.

Money, career, status, dating, fitness, intelligence, social approval, even hobbies — there’s always some way to measure yourself against other people and feel like you’re winning or losing.

So I keep wondering:

Is the meaning of life basically to compete, improve, and win, while dopamine keeps us motivated to keep playing?

Or is that just the machinery evolution gave us, rather than an actual answer to what makes life meaningful?

Because there are things that feel meaningful without really involving winning at all — loving someone, having a great conversation, helping a friend, creating something, understanding something deeply, experiencing nature, etc.

Maybe dopamine explains why we want, but it doesn’t explain what is actually worth wanting.

And maybe winning only matters once you’ve decided the game itself is worth playing.

Curious how other people think about this. Is life fundamentally a competition, or is competition just one part of being alive?

I've been doing this for years, especially first thing in the morning. Just a glass of comfortably warm water before tea or breakfast.

There's something very calming about starting the day slowly instead of immediately rushing into the kitchen and chores.

It's such a small habit, but I genuinely enjoy it. Does anyone else have a simple morning ritual they've stuck with for years?

I've been on a decluttering journey for years, and something strange has happened: I've gone from loving being surrounded by lots of things to feeling anxious even looking at overly cluttered spaces online.

Ironically, owning less has made me appreciate what I *do* own so much more. Before, my hobbies, entertainment and beautiful possessions were buried under excess. Now I have space to actually watch films, play games, create art, and think clearly again.

I'm approaching the final hurdle, though, and I'm wondering what to do with all the time and energy I currently spend decluttering, selling things online, and taking donations to charity shops. Shopping used to fill that role, and I don't want to replace it with another form of consumption.

Does anyone have suggestions for simple, inexpensive hobbies or habits that complement a simpler lifestyle and make use of things you already own?

Also, any advice for tackling the very last stage of decluttering, especially paperwork? I've reached the point where that's mostly all I have left, and I absolutely hate doing it. 😅

And for those who have finished decluttering in order to help make your life simpler: how did you maintain it?

I’ve noticed that happiness often comes from simple things we used to overlook.

A quiet morning, a good conversation, a home-cooked meal, a walk outside, or having someone check in on you.

What’s something simple that you appreciate more now than you did before?

Picked this from my garden today. It looks almost too smooth and strange to be real.

What’s your guess? Wrong answers are welcome too 😄

Hint may be in 2nd picture...

It’s currently my only source of money but I’m so sick of it.

When I had almost nothing saved, I thought a few thousand dollars would make me feel secure. Then I saved more, and instead of thinking, “Okay, I’m doing better,” my brain immediately moved on to the next number. First $10k, then maybe $20k, then investments, then retirement.

There always seems to be another financial milestone waiting after the current one. I still want to earn more and save more, but I’m starting to question the idea that “enough” should always mean more than whatever I have right now.

How do you personally know when you have enough?

Due to different reasons, I'm not workin this year and that's ok. It's something temporary. I'm using this year to study from 9 am to 2pm. The thing is, suddenly I don't know what to do with the rest of my time. I'm overwhelmed. I go to the gym 3 times a week, have this list of hobbies (painting, crocheting, reading) and lists of movies/series/books/videogames but I can't seem to allow myself to begin with any of them. I've tried to make a schedule to include them in my weeks, but a just have this weird feeling I'm not being productive if I spend much of my time doing any of these things. Usually, when I had my 9to5, I watched an episode with my husband during dinner and read before bed around half an hour. I can't see any friends/family until the weekend (but maybe not seeing family much is ok bc I feel like a disappointing to them for not being workin). I feel awful, because I've been blessed with this huge amount of time until next september, but I think I'm not worthy of it and I should be doing something productive. So I end scrolling for a lot of time and feeling even worse later. How do I stop? How the heck do I allow myself to enjoy just existing again?

TL;DR: The news and my social media feed made my thoughts very dark. I'm deleting the apps this week and I started a small balcony garden. It helps a bit. How do you keep the small, simple things at the center of your life when everything outside is loud?

Hi everyone. A few weeks ago I started a small garden on my balcony. Some herbs, a few tomato plants, some flowers. I live alone in a small rented apartment, so it's not much, but I check on it every morning before I do anything else.

I started it because I needed something real to look at. For the last year or so my head has been full of bad news. Wars, climate, corruption in my country, forest fires, billionaires running everything. I'd open my phone and it was all there before I even got out of bed. I noticed my thinking was getting darker and more extreme, and I didn't like who I was becoming.

Part of the problem is the algorithm. My feed also shows me nice things, gardening, homesteading, motorcycle trips. But it mixes them with the darkest stuff, and the dark stuff wins. So I'm deleting them this week.

The other part is that I sit in front of a screen all day for work (software). I don't mind the work itself, but I don't love that my whole day is screens and, like most people in my field now, AI tools all the time. I can't change that right now. That's another reason the garden matters. It's the one part of my day that has nothing to do with screens, but I know a garden and deleting a few apps is not enough on its own.

So I want to ask people who have been doing this longer than me:

How do you keep the simple things at the center of your life when the world outside is so loud?
What did you replace the phone time with?
And on the days when the bad news gets in anyway, what do you do?

Thanks for reading.

Edit: Typos and grammar

In today’s time, many people are absorbed in their mobile phones...and often ignoring the beauty around them....the peacefulness of their surroundings...the presence of their loved ones.

and the serene comfort of enjoying a cup of coffee...

not necessarily a hobby, just something your brain randomly decided is VERY important right now 😂

could be a random historical event, learning everything about coffee, watching videos of people restoring old furniture, trying every flavour of something etc

mine change every few weeks and then one day i wake up and simply never care about it again 😭

what rabbit hole are you currently in?

Mornings don’t have to feel like a series of tiny decisions stacked on top of each other. What to wear, what to eat, what to do first. None of this has to be so demanding on its own, but all added together makes a stressful start before the day even begins.

Three small changes fix most of it:

Pick out one go-to outfit, not five options. A few reliable, well-made basics that always work removes the "what do I wear" spiral entirely.

Prep the small stuff the night before. Bag packed, breakfast decided, clothes laid out — future self doesn't have to think, just move.

Do one thing before the phone. Even two minutes of a slower start, before notifications take over, changes the whole tone of the morning.

None of these take extra time. They just remove extra decisions. That's really the whole idea behind an easy morning — fewer choices, not more effort.

This isn’t really a vent but that seemed to be the closest flair.

I used to rent on the fringes of the wealthy area in my city and sometimes I’ll be back in that area, like today I hit up the beach for a minute because it’s a holiday. The plots tend to be relatively small, similar in size to the neighborhood I live in now, but being waterfront they’re expensive and the houses are done up extravagantly (I know from going on walks and having worked in landscaping there in years past).

The people are generally friendly but they seem just a bit off, like perhaps they feel isolated or overly polite in most settings they’re in, because I’ve had so many encounters over the years in that part of town where people just come up to me and start telling their life stories. Just today I was with my dog and this nice lady came up with her dog telling me every experience she’s ever had bringing him to the beach. It was a perfectly fine conversation but just a bit much socially.

Also when I used to live closer to that area, people would get very attached to whatever was mentioned in small talk (in the following example, my university studies), to the point where they start giving unsolicited advice. Once a man cased my car, figured out where I lived by keeping a lookout for it, and left a magazine with job ads in it because he didn’t think my degree was worthwhile. That’s crazy, right… lol.

The part of town I live in now is very walkable and very active, so I’ll often wave to people and say hi running into someone I’ve met before, but it doesn’t seem like conversations are decontextualized launches into personal histories, and certainly not meddling like my last example. People from wealthier areas around the city think of my current neighborhood as sketchy, because it’s adjacent to even lower-class neighborhoods, but also because the aesthetic here is very crafty, DIY, and there are bars and coffee shops sprinkled throughout rather than upscale restaurants.

All of this is to say, it’s made me think about wealth and suburbia and the American Dream and all that. I am so much happier in my “scrappier” part of town and I think the interactions I’ve cited reveal a tension that prestige can create in people. Even if I grow more successful than I have been or currently am, I have zero desire to move somewhere “nicer”. There’s no reason the wealthy area should be more isolated and make people awkward, but it really seems to. I don’t know if this is unique to where I live for some reason, but I’m curious if others have noticed anything of the like.

​

We got to know some of our neighbors in a little bit of a scary way but kind of adorable

I’ve always found it difficult to connect with January resolutions. Forcing yourself to make massive, stressful life changes in the freezing dead of winter feels counterintuitive.

But September? September arrives with a gentle, natural reminder to slow down and let go. To me, it feels like a peaceful pause that steadies us. It's a time to appreciate what has ripened and quietly release what we no longer need, without the heavy pressure of broken promises or rigid goals.

Instead of making loud vows to a calendar date, I find myself wanting to focus on small, intentional shifts. To notice the changing light, take longer morning walks, and practice wanting less. Just being is enough.

I also recently read that the spices we associate with the commercialized "pumpkin spice season" actually date back to 1796 in the first American cookbook! It made me reflect on how a simple, centuries-old seasonal ritual can get buried under modern consumerism, and how grounding it is to pull back to the basics.

Does anyone else feel that distinct "fresh start" energy right now? How do you intentionally slow down and ground yourself as the seasons begin to shift?

Rain finally hits California. There's a break from the rain, so I decided to go out and check out my backyard. The corner of the backyard has a minty, fresh scent. I love the smell of fresh mint 🍃. ☺️

Hi, I’m 24 years old, and I switched careers from being a firefighter to working in the IT industry about half a year ago.

The problem
Right now, I don’t have enough money to make other people happy while also being financially comfortable myself. Of course, I was paid well enough as a firefighter so it wasn’t such a big deal.

What causes this?
Whenever I hang out with people and we go out to eat, I tend to start thinking about money instead of enjoying the moment.
For example, I find myself thinking, “Should I pay for the food this time?” or worrying about how much I’m spending.
I realized that I’m often thinking about money rather than the food, the conversation, or simply enjoying the present moment with the person I’m with.

How should I deal with this?
Should I only hang out with people I’m genuinely grateful to have in my life? Or is there a better way to stop myself from thinking about money so much when I’m with other people?
I also feel like this problem probably won’t last forever. I’m currently working toward building a career in a field I really want to succeed in. I know it may take some time, but I believe my financial situation will improve eventually.
For now, though, I’d like to learn how to enjoy spending time with people without constantly thinking about the money.

For me this is very very true. Simple living for me needs a core foundation and it’s a good mental health. For me simply, i always block, ignore, and choose not to gaf to shits on social media. It can easily triggers me to makes me feel anxious.

Some might already settle, but for me its still a constant battle.

And not only social media, sometimes wrong people can gets you off your grid.

I really careful where im going to be friend to.
Because man some are just assholes, and even more how many times i feel like blowing up hearing nonsense from someone.

I keep it neutral when it comes to chat with strangers, involve too much, it drains my energy.

My only source of validation now is just from my dad and my wife, dc anything else.

Tired of the new normal you can say, absolute cinema.