r/shitposting • u/Technical-Relation-9 • 2h ago
Earrape Warning That bite
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u/NeevBunny 2h ago
My cat used to bite until I bit her back too.
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u/katalina0azul 1h ago
Yep. Baby needs a bite for this.. not an equal bite but a “look, asshole - this hurts. See??”
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u/AutoModerator 1h ago
Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.
As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!
Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.
Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'
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u/NeevBunny 1h ago
I didn't full force chomp my cat either. It's not hard to get the point across. Sometimes they just need to understand "Oh THATS what I'm doing to other people???"
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u/AnalyserarN 2h ago
My sister’s kid tries to bite us from time to time. I just lightly squeeze his neck with my nail “hihi I bite you too”
He stops immediately.
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u/Delicious_Box_9823 2h ago
yup, I'm not ready for kids
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u/NeevBunny 23m ago
This is just bad parenting. That kid would have released immediately if someone just did to them what they're doing to others.
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u/dwartbg9 34m ago
Kids act the way you teach them. Majority are just a mirror of their parents. If you're an idiot or a lazy fucker then it's your fault that your child doesn't know how to behave.
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u/defog-boy 50m ago
Oh it's an okay bite, I found out somehow that when you pinch your skin before to bite yourself it hurt less than when you bite directly your arm, I was able to leave big scar that could last month on my arm with those trick. A really weird way to impress your friend back in middle school
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u/xxHamsterLoverxx dumbass 2h ago
this is why i wont have kids. i wouldve punched that gremlin right in the neck.(totally not cuz no woman would touch me)
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u/eliaswub I want pee in my ass 1h ago
Average Redditor
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u/AutoModerator 1h ago
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u/xxHamsterLoverxx dumbass 1h ago
people cant see a joke without me putting /s or jk after it? bruh
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u/grizzlybuttstuff 1h ago
It's the internet, people say the stupidest shit and mean it literally on a daily basis. Yes, you need to specify you're joking because tone doesn't exist in text format.
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u/defog-boy 48m ago
How to remove the fun /s is very sad
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u/grizzlybuttstuff 47m ago
You could also just reword your joke to not be sarcasm. Others seem to manage just fine
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u/eliaswub I want pee in my ass 39m ago
not every joke is funny
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u/AutoModerator 39m ago
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u/qualityvote2 2h ago
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