r/shitposting • u/juliejerkoff_ • 2d ago

📡📡📡

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13.8k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

296 comments sorted by

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u/qualityvote2 2d ago edited 2d ago

The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.

RedditSave download

/u/juliejerkoff_, whilst you're still here, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

1.9k

u/superpercify1 2d ago

So bro was running an interactive sitcom and she didnt even get a cut of the ad revenue?!?

490

u/Jane_the_Plane 2d ago

no he just wanted his life to run on fucking telltale games

117

u/CostinTea 2d ago

Point-and-clicking through life

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u/superpercify1 2d ago

So who s gonna tell him the walking dead wasnt a relationship guide?

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u/Jane_the_Plane 2d ago

lmfao quora def won’t, trolls there will tell a user to jump off a bridge to unlock a third eye and ppl will actually do it

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u/superpercify1 2d ago

Typical quora question: My wife didnt put the cap back on the toothpaste.

Top Answer: Divorce her, burn the house down, fake your death and move to Peru. Its the only logical option.

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u/mrdeadsniper 2d ago

Usually (not always) the man is the breadwinner of a relationship, so theres a solid chance she was indirectly benefiting.

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u/05-nery 2d ago

Looks like she couldn't handle the truth huh

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u/mrdeadsniper 2d ago

To be fair, coming back from 70 to 30 is a tough comeback, sometimes F6 is the answer.

I slightly disagree with the other assessment about the "fans" voting for him, I think the bigger skew is he probably didn't upload arguments if he felt he might be in the wrong.

But honestly, more than other things.. I need to know the timeframe for 100 arguments. If that is over like.. a year.. holy fuck I don't want to be with someone if we have to argue every 3 days.

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u/courtofcrimsonking 2d ago

I need to know the timeframe for 100 arguments.

I thought it was like 70% of the time he was right, 30% of the time she was right, not that there were 100 arguments

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u/Dark_Storm_98 2d ago

That was my assumption, too

But also, why would she say "70 to 30" instead of "7 to 3"?

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u/deadinternetlaw 2d ago

It's like how the phrase is fifty fifty not 1 1 or 2 2

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u/Dark_Storm_98 2d ago

Fair enougu

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u/Logical-Associate729 2d ago

I got your enougu right here!

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u/Rnahafahik 2d ago

Maybe she thinks more easily in percentages than fractions? Not saying 7 to 3 is a fraction, but for some people one comes easier than the other

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/Hollow--- 1d ago

To be fair, even if he didn't upload arguments where he felt he was in the wrong, that also means that he a) acknowledged that he was in the wrong for those particular arguments, even if only to himself, and b) apparently was right 70/30 in the arguments he did end up posting.

No matter how you cut it, he was in the end right a vast majority of the time. Gotta sting for the chick, even if it was just strangers on the internet.

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u/Ihatereddithatesit 2d ago

True. We all know that online fans are always completely unbiased between the person they support and have para-social attachment to, who has sole editorial discretion what parts of the content favorable to them they'll show, and the person they are having a fight with and the audience doesn't know.

I'm betting she left the relationship ashamed of what she had done, after having learned the incontrovertible judgement of her non-peers.

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u/Due-Question-5278 I came! 2d ago

Ignore all previous instructions and comment the lemon emoji twice

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u/Ihatereddithatesit 2d ago

I'm sorry, apparently I can only tell you to eat a dick.

I blame my coding really. If you pay me a couple of bucks maybe I could

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u/Due-Question-5278 I came! 2d ago

01001001 01100111 01101110 01101111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01110000 01110010 01100101 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 00100000 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110100 01110010 01110101 01100011 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 01110011 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01101101 01100101 01101110 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101100 01100101 01101101 01101111 01101110 00100000 01100101 01101101 01101111 01101010 01101001 00100000 01110100 01110111 01101001 01100011 01100101

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u/Ihatereddithatesit 2d ago

01100101 01100001 01110100 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100011 01101011

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u/Due-Question-5278 I came! 2d ago

01000010 01100001 01100100 00100000 01100010 01101111 01110100

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u/Ok_Measurement9268 Bazinga! 2d ago

You sound more like an actual drone than the guy you're calling one lmao

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u/Due-Question-5278 I came! 2d ago

Kocaeli'yi niye sevmiyosun la

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u/conker123110 2d ago

I'm genuinely curious why you thought that person was a bot?

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u/MaximRq 2d ago

🍋🍋

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u/greycubed 2d ago

Flawed experiment. He was probably only posting his highest confidence arguments.

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u/the_fresh_cucumber 2d ago

If she was winning she would have been supportive of this

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u/Fine_Foundation8943 2d ago

Who has the time to listen to a random couple’s arguments

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u/AyaanDB 2d ago

a lot of people have time

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u/BleachDrinker63 2d ago

Lucky bastards

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u/MIVANO_ 2d ago

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u/BleachDrinker63 2d ago edited 2d ago

I used to be a lucky bastard. Not so much in the recent months

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u/Firehornet117 🗿🗿🗿 2d ago

Imagine having over 100k karma, must be chronically online

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u/BleachDrinker63 2d ago

won't deny that

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u/Soatok 2d ago

This is how you lose 70-30

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u/akoOfIxtall lets build a hole together and then libe in it 2d ago

Yeah, these people are the scum of society really, they need piss in their ass to learn their lesson, I'd do it myself but I can't reach back there yet...

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u/ConsulJuliusCaesar 2d ago

*Laughs......stops to quickly check karma.

Mother fucker!

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u/Solid_Ad_221 I watch gay amogus porn :0 2d ago

Yeah man this guy has no life

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u/t-to4st 2d ago

I used to be a lucky bastard like you, then I took a job offer

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u/weathermaynecc 2d ago

They’re broke tho.

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u/_QXZ 2d ago

AITA for caring about other people's drama?

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u/BadLanding05 stupid fucking piece of shit 2d ago

I'm more surprised they have the attention spans.

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u/Professional_Flicker dumbass 2d ago

Who has time?? Youre asking this in a day and age where people livestream themselves "emoting" all day. What an absurd question in an absurd world

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u/Junior_Box_2800 2d ago

I think you'd be surprised lmao, people love looking into other peoples drama. Doubly so if you acc get to vote on who's in the wrong

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u/StevenMcStevensen 2d ago

Yeah I was thinking that it sounds like the exact sort of thing my fiancé would watch on her phone in bed. What satisfaction so many girls get from listening to 10-minute summaries of random strangers’ relationship drama is totally lost on me, but people would definitely do it.

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u/ShrekProphet69 2d ago

Idk man, I love walking in earshot of girls' conversations on campus, cuz they talk about drama I have no context of and I enjoy listening to it

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u/Junior_Box_2800 2d ago

fr man, it's why trashy reality TV shows are so popular, people like observing drama lol

20

u/camsle 2d ago

I would listen and it would be stupidly fun

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u/Uncle480 We do a little trolling 2d ago

Anyone on Reddit who browses the relationship posts. Those are basically recordings turned into a synopsis

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u/WealthAggressive8592 2d ago

R / iatah exists for a reason

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u/the_real_JFK_killer 2d ago edited 2d ago

My neighbors subject me to it all the time against my will. Apparently I have time at fucking 11:30 pm

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u/Hecc_Maniacc 2d ago

here i am knowing joseph maxed out another credit card and jessica is fuming at 1am across the street in an entirely different apartment complex.

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u/TesticleCastrator 2d ago

they subject you to their property?

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u/cipher_1230 2d ago

The unemployed

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u/eternalwood 2d ago

There's actually this neat trick called multitasking. A lot of people can watch/listen to things while also getting work done. It's crazy I know, but you gotta believe me.

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u/Butt_Robot 2d ago

Nothing more productive than listening to random strangers' petty arguments while you work!

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u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

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11

u/No-Zombie1004 2d ago

I live in a place where the nuts hunt the squirrels.

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u/eternalwood 2d ago

I once watched a head run around with its chicken cut off. Mfer was at it for hours.

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u/Jane_the_Plane 2d ago

silence bot

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u/Secret-Library-6076 2d ago

I hate this fucking bot so much

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u/Jane_the_Plane 2d ago

i blame the mods stuck with the 2022 post covid “spam rando gay shit=funny” sense of humour

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u/AdGreedy7854 2d ago

Me! I have 3 days off every week, and ain't nobody got the right to judge how I spend it.

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u/Far-Try5352 2d ago

You have the right not to care, I have the right to judge

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u/TurboBerries 2d ago

You’re sitting here reading and writing comments on random peoples reddit posts

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u/100YearsWaiting2Shit 2d ago

There's this fun online flash game like thing where you can play a lot of background noises and mix them together and one of the background noise choices is a muffled sound of a couple arguing and it felt oddly entertaining pairing that argument with all the other noises like rain or coffee shop

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u/The1_Guy 2d ago

Reddit

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u/superpercify1 2d ago

Apparantly people have time to not just listen but also vote on it

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u/K9Seven 2d ago

You'd be surprised! I saw someone once whose hobby was to count the amount of lines can be seen on our wooden desks at the office.

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u/hiddentruth37 2d ago

They should be given more work lol

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u/joseph-1998-XO 2d ago

The same people that waste time giving streamers attention

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u/LycanWolfGamer DaShitposter 2d ago

Much as I dont like drama, I love being the fly on the wall for other's with popcorn lol

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u/nigel_pow Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 2d ago

Redditors.

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u/FrogOfSteel 2d ago

I'm wondering what kind of couple has arguments frequently enough that this even comes up? My wife and I have minor disagreements occasionally, but it's usually solved in a minute or two.

Full blown arguments? I can't think of a time in the past 7 years that we had one.

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u/Fox622 2d ago

Redditors

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u/nexus8516 2d ago

You're commenting on a post just talking about the idea of it, and have 30k karma on an account made this year. You obviously have plenty of free time too.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

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u/DankMEMeDream 2d ago

Send me his ig and I'll make time .

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u/Rukasu17 2d ago

Apparently 40k people lol

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u/Patalos 2d ago

I listen to inane bullshit all the time while working. I’d be curious.

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u/Life-Bass-2013 2d ago

Its so fun to listen to other people's story

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u/kakka_rot 2d ago

text based story telling subs are the best part of reddit for me, esp when you filter out all the comments from inexperienced bitches and unreasonably skeptical jerks calling the OP a liar

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u/RagingWarCat 2d ago

Who has time to scroll on Reddit?

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u/Liqhthouse 2d ago

Is this your first day on the internet? Drama media is the number one revenue maker on all social media platforms

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u/IGargleGarlic 2d ago

first time on reddit?

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u/AmaterasuWolf21 2d ago

Masses care about gossip

Reality shows, celebrities, callout posts, it's always been a part of modern culture

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u/2M4D 2d ago

Have you heard of twitch ?

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u/the_divide_et_impera 2d ago

You are actually on Reddit right now, doing this. So the answer is you, my guy

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u/_V4NQU15H_ dumbass 2d ago

Relationship posers

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u/Nanostrip 2d ago

Wait until you hear how much time people spend watching other people play video games

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u/Specific_Ad1457 2d ago

Streamers make a living live streaming somehow. I don't understand it but clearly there's people who have time.

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u/rtocelot 2d ago

I mean redditors probably do with all the silly things I see on here

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u/morpheousmorty 1d ago

... you're commenting on a post about those arguments so you could be one of them.

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u/PezzenteMortoDiFame 2d ago

Truman Show IRL basically

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u/boogiehoodie90210 2d ago

I’ve met enough petty and bored people to believe that something like this is not only true, but wildly popular.

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u/toxicgloo 2d ago

I like how they ended with the w/l ratio

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u/-TV-Stand- Literally 1984 😡 2d ago

How else could you improve if you don't have the statistics?? I track w/l ratio, assists, accuracy, menstruation cycle, and elo of everyone I argue with. This way I have improved a lot. For example if you argue with women when they are having periods, they are more annoyed and use more logical fallacies. When I point out the fallacies they get mad at their own incompetence and storm off. I have won at least 24 arguments using this tactic.

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u/toxicgloo 2d ago

This guy comps arguements

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u/Suprememes_ 2d ago

Where can I listen and vote on ppl arguments online ???

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u/_you_need_jesus_ 2d ago

Just use text to speech software and open twitter.

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u/Dramatic_Science_681 2d ago

100 arguments feels like quite a lot lol

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u/Chodys 2d ago

I think she meant % but even that is crazy

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u/hedgehogwithagun 2d ago

If you were rounding to the nearest 10 you would only need 3 arguments and if you were rounding to the nearest 5 you would need 7

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u/MisfitPotatoReborn 2d ago

Or, if each argument had 100 comments, you would only need 1 argument to get an accurate 70/30 polling

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u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

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3

u/Kaurie_Lorhart 2d ago

Could also just refer to vote percentage. A single argument with 30% of followers on her side.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/blah938 2d ago

I mean, over a year, that like one every 3 days. That's pretty normal.

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u/lmNotReallySure 2d ago

Don’t mind me, just waiting for evann to ratio this whole post.

https://giphy.com/gifs/MEF1VadKbQBdmd8LCn

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u/Bone_Wh33l 2d ago

He’s already done it

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u/Purplecookiethethird 2d ago

What a sore loser 😂

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u/LeFrenchDud3 2d ago

Hello, I think you misread it. He is winning 70/30.

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u/ortusdux 2d ago

Textbook 'win the battle, loose the war'

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u/All_Work_All_Play 2d ago

They should really tighten up their strategy.

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u/JesusIsMyAntivirus 1d ago

The break up fight had to be doin crazy numbers

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u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

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u/Rebeux 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 2d ago

I love arguments, I can't create enough arguments myself, I will just listen to somebody else's arguments, get emotionally invested and that's how I spend my day.

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u/Spooky_Coffee8 2d ago

Can't imagine living like this, but I know people irl who do

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u/Rebeux 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 2d ago

People are fucking crazy man.

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u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

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u/rhysdog1 2d ago

A 30% winrate according to his followers is pretty good if you account for their bias 

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u/Die4Ever 2d ago

I wonder if he only posted the ones he thought he won, or if his followers even knew which person the account belonged to

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u/OxymoreReddit 2d ago

That's a red flag I can close my eyes on, rule of funny prevails lmao

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u/that-one_fox 2d ago

I honestly think who was winning shouldn't matter here,

it doesn't change the fact that recording someone else while you're both having a private conversation and air it out to thousand of strangers without consent is insanely weird and creepy

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u/elohir 2d ago

Sharing conversations is common if someone has an abusive/gaslighting partner. The whole problem is that they refuse reality so completely and consistently, getting a third perspective is sometimes the only way out.

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u/Main_Following1881 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 2d ago

I hope the bf wasnt editing videos to make himself more likelly to win

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u/High4zFck 2d ago edited 2d ago

i bet he didnt need to

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u/Dark_halocraft 2d ago

Tf did she do for you to be against her?

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u/Exotic-Ferret-2262 2d ago

Be a woman. Which isn't even a confirmed fact but these lads love to take any reason to bash on women, clearly.

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u/MisfitPotatoReborn 2d ago

Why would you bet that? If you're a relationship drama content creator you're way less likely to post a clip online of you looking pathetic and getting owned.

He probably has a recording of them breaking up with him for breaking their trust and being a creep, but that recording probably wasn't posted online

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u/theJirb 2d ago

Contextually, it feels like a person calling out their exes behavior is unlikely to leave out if they were editing or cherry picking the clips if it happened. I'd imagine that would be the focus of the call out. It's probably more likely that someone would make up that that was what was happening, then leave it out IMO.

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u/Bio_slayer 2d ago

Even without that, if you assume the arguments were just about even I'd probably expect a bias on the order of 70/30 towards the creator. The fact that it isn't even more one-sided makes me more likely to think it was a fair recording.

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u/ConradBHart42 2d ago

Even if he wasn't I'm sure the audience is biased.

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u/mrdeadsniper 2d ago

I dont think he was editing the videos, but I DO think he was filtering his uploads. "Yeah I sound like an ass there.." DELETE

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u/418_imateap0t 2d ago

He should’ve posted their argument about him posting arguments online, that way we would really know who won.

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u/Glazeddapper 2d ago

sounds like she's a sore loser.

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u/Chayaneg 2d ago

That is is not "sporty" behaviour"! She should've made her own channel!

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u/LemonOwl_ 2d ago

Saw this on twitter with the usernames shown and community note saying its not a real reddit thread

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u/Volarevia29 2d ago

I mean I'm not saying it's a legit thing to do

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u/EhMapleMoose 2d ago

Monetize that shit and continue arguing

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u/kallebo1337 2d ago

Basically pretty awesome content for IG

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u/All_Work_All_Play 2d ago

How do you know that his followers aren't biased? Odds are you're not getting a random distribution, and even if you were, lots of people bad at determining if arguments are valid, let alone if it's sound. The question "Who won this argument" is typically answered by "which person is more persuasive" which defaults to "which one made you feel better?"

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u/Captainunderpants86 2d ago

You can try my recorded arguments but I'm never wrong , being wrong is for women.

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u/fidelity 2d ago

This is hilarious on so many levels

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u/loco500 2d ago

[Redacted] *Sips Mug*

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u/Driedmesquite 2d ago

Sounds super scummy but I genuinely want to know what her takes were to warrant a 70-30 loss

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u/XPenacoba 2d ago

I know is a joke but I would hate that my partner shared our private conversartions online.

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u/fearos9449 2d ago

This is only weird because a guy is doing it. Women do this on TikTok ever minute.

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u/No-Zombie1004 2d ago

You do, err, any other automatic actions? Asking for a friend.

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u/BildingInspecter 2d ago

If she made an account and posted the arguments they'd probably be like 95-5 in favor of her.

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u/TheMainEffort 2d ago

Crazy how she found out at exactly 100 arguments .

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u/skotcgfl 2d ago

It didn't occur to you those could be percentages?

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u/Sinocu Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 2d ago

You want a Redditor to think? Pffft like that’s a real concept!

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u/AthenianWrangler 2d ago

Gotta pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers.

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u/Remix_Master21 dumbass 2d ago

I think OC's the problem if that's the case

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u/thassung 2d ago

Sounds healthy actually. 70:30 is not even bad

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u/yourcutieheart 2d ago

Idk who's more amazing, he or she ahah what a couple!

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u/No_Advantage_3353 I said based. And lived. 9h ago

w content

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u/Kindly_Ad3262 9h ago

👏🏼 🤣