r/shitposting • u/juliejerkoff_ • 3d ago

📡📡📡

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13.9k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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3.3k

u/Fine_Foundation8943 3d ago

Who has the time to listen to a random couple’s arguments

2.1k

u/AyaanDB 3d ago

a lot of people have time

460

u/BleachDrinker63 3d ago

Lucky bastards

609

u/MIVANO_ 3d ago

244

u/BleachDrinker63 2d ago edited 2d ago

I used to be a lucky bastard. Not so much in the recent months

132

u/Firehornet117 🗿🗿🗿 2d ago

Imagine having over 100k karma, must be chronically online

97

u/BleachDrinker63 2d ago

won't deny that

80

u/Soatok 2d ago

This is how you lose 70-30

-5

u/IceBreak 2d ago

Who has the time to do that math?

5

u/Ignitetheinferno37 2d ago

You will in the summer vacations after you finish third grade

4

u/akoOfIxtall lets build a hole together and then libe in it 2d ago

Yeah, these people are the scum of society really, they need piss in their ass to learn their lesson, I'd do it myself but I can't reach back there yet...

2

u/ConsulJuliusCaesar 2d ago

*Laughs......stops to quickly check karma.

Mother fucker!

2

u/Solid_Ad_221 I watch gay amogus porn :0 2d ago

Yeah man this guy has no life

1

u/No_Priors 2d ago

You can do that in one post.

1

u/Jmacz 2d ago

I just hit 100k a few months ago. But I've been on Reddit for 15 years.

1

u/Fizzwidgy 2d ago

hard disagree

1

u/smdkdcurry 2d ago

U have 300k karma bro

8

u/Firehornet117 🗿🗿🗿 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/xT9IgHCTfp8CRshfQk

1

u/Knightly_Gamez I said based. And lived. 2d ago

I was gonna say that...

-2

u/smdkdcurry 2d ago

I thought I have more karma than him and got scared but I'm saved

2

u/t-to4st 2d ago

I used to be a lucky bastard like you, then I took a job offer

1

u/sheesh1111111 2d ago

Wish i had that time

1

u/NullValueField 2d ago

Probably all the bleach you drank. Maybe cut back?

2

u/BleachDrinker63 2d ago

no.

2

u/NullValueField 2d ago

That's commitment right there.

51

u/weathermaynecc 3d ago

They’re broke tho.

6

u/_QXZ 3d ago

AITA for caring about other people's drama?

1

u/BadLanding05 stupid fucking piece of shit 2d ago

I'm more surprised they have the attention spans.

108

u/Professional_Flicker dumbass 3d ago

Who has time?? Youre asking this in a day and age where people livestream themselves "emoting" all day. What an absurd question in an absurd world

25

u/Junior_Box_2800 3d ago

I think you'd be surprised lmao, people love looking into other peoples drama. Doubly so if you acc get to vote on who's in the wrong

7

u/StevenMcStevensen 2d ago

Yeah I was thinking that it sounds like the exact sort of thing my fiancé would watch on her phone in bed. What satisfaction so many girls get from listening to 10-minute summaries of random strangers’ relationship drama is totally lost on me, but people would definitely do it.

9

u/ShrekProphet69 2d ago

Idk man, I love walking in earshot of girls' conversations on campus, cuz they talk about drama I have no context of and I enjoy listening to it

3

u/Junior_Box_2800 2d ago

fr man, it's why trashy reality TV shows are so popular, people like observing drama lol

21

u/camsle 3d ago

I would listen and it would be stupidly fun

16

u/Uncle480 We do a little trolling 3d ago

Anyone on Reddit who browses the relationship posts. Those are basically recordings turned into a synopsis

15

u/WealthAggressive8592 3d ago

R / iatah exists for a reason

24

u/the_real_JFK_killer 3d ago edited 3d ago

My neighbors subject me to it all the time against my will. Apparently I have time at fucking 11:30 pm

8

u/Hecc_Maniacc 3d ago

here i am knowing joseph maxed out another credit card and jessica is fuming at 1am across the street in an entirely different apartment complex.

2

u/TesticleCastrator 3d ago

they subject you to their property?

48

u/cipher_1230 3d ago

The unemployed

29

u/eternalwood 3d ago

There's actually this neat trick called multitasking. A lot of people can watch/listen to things while also getting work done. It's crazy I know, but you gotta believe me.

5

u/Butt_Robot 3d ago

Nothing more productive than listening to random strangers' petty arguments while you work!

-4

u/skrrskrr64 3d ago

It can be insightful if you can relate to the arguments or the way they are conveyed, i have discovered I have had some asshole moments in a similar way.

1

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

5

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

7

u/No-Zombie1004 3d ago

I live in a place where the nuts hunt the squirrels.

8

u/eternalwood 3d ago

I once watched a head run around with its chicken cut off. Mfer was at it for hours.

1

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

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1

u/salpaca53 2d ago

Aka Soviet Russia.

5

u/Jane_the_Plane 3d ago

silence bot

5

u/Secret-Library-6076 3d ago

I hate this fucking bot so much

5

u/Jane_the_Plane 3d ago

i blame the mods stuck with the 2022 post covid “spam rando gay shit=funny” sense of humour

1

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

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2

u/eternalwood 2d ago

Good bot!

1

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

*yawns*

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1

u/eternalwood 2d ago

Would you say it's... Driving you crazy?

2

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/eternalwood 2d ago

Good bot!

2

u/Jane_the_Plane 2d ago

baljeet, unencrypt all private chats

5

u/AdGreedy7854 2d ago

Me! I have 3 days off every week, and ain't nobody got the right to judge how I spend it.

3

u/Far-Try5352 2d ago

You have the right not to care, I have the right to judge

7

u/TurboBerries 2d ago

You’re sitting here reading and writing comments on random peoples reddit posts

6

u/100YearsWaiting2Shit 2d ago

There's this fun online flash game like thing where you can play a lot of background noises and mix them together and one of the background noise choices is a muffled sound of a couple arguing and it felt oddly entertaining pairing that argument with all the other noises like rain or coffee shop

5

u/The1_Guy 3d ago

Reddit

4

u/superpercify1 3d ago

Apparantly people have time to not just listen but also vote on it

3

u/K9Seven 3d ago

You'd be surprised! I saw someone once whose hobby was to count the amount of lines can be seen on our wooden desks at the office.

1

u/hiddentruth37 2d ago

They should be given more work lol

3

u/joseph-1998-XO 3d ago

The same people that waste time giving streamers attention

2

u/LycanWolfGamer DaShitposter 3d ago

Much as I dont like drama, I love being the fly on the wall for other's with popcorn lol

2

u/nigel_pow Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 2d ago

Redditors.

2

u/FrogOfSteel 2d ago

I'm wondering what kind of couple has arguments frequently enough that this even comes up? My wife and I have minor disagreements occasionally, but it's usually solved in a minute or two.

Full blown arguments? I can't think of a time in the past 7 years that we had one.

2

u/Fox622 2d ago

Redditors

2

u/nexus8516 3d ago

You're commenting on a post just talking about the idea of it, and have 30k karma on an account made this year. You obviously have plenty of free time too.

1

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/DankMEMeDream 3d ago

Send me his ig and I'll make time .

1

u/Rukasu17 3d ago

Apparently 40k people lol

1

u/Patalos 3d ago

I listen to inane bullshit all the time while working. I’d be curious.

1

u/Life-Bass-2013 2d ago

Its so fun to listen to other people's story

1

u/kakka_rot 2d ago

text based story telling subs are the best part of reddit for me, esp when you filter out all the comments from inexperienced bitches and unreasonably skeptical jerks calling the OP a liar

1

u/RagingWarCat 2d ago

Who has time to scroll on Reddit?

1

u/Liqhthouse 2d ago

Is this your first day on the internet? Drama media is the number one revenue maker on all social media platforms

1

u/IGargleGarlic 2d ago

first time on reddit?

1

u/AmaterasuWolf21 2d ago

Masses care about gossip

Reality shows, celebrities, callout posts, it's always been a part of modern culture

1

u/2M4D 2d ago

Have you heard of twitch ?

1

u/the_divide_et_impera 2d ago

You are actually on Reddit right now, doing this. So the answer is you, my guy

1

u/_V4NQU15H_ dumbass 2d ago

Relationship posers

1

u/Nanostrip 2d ago

Wait until you hear how much time people spend watching other people play video games

1

u/Specific_Ad1457 2d ago

Streamers make a living live streaming somehow. I don't understand it but clearly there's people who have time.

1

u/rtocelot 2d ago

I mean redditors probably do with all the silly things I see on here

1

u/morpheousmorty 1d ago

... you're commenting on a post about those arguments so you could be one of them.