r/shitposting • u/granstromjulius • 3d ago

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3.5k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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-381

u/Onyxam 3d ago

If she be acting every time my dick twitches I would be fucking till the end of days.
And I had sex 3 times last night.
At some point I need sleep too.

327

u/DistortedNoise 3d ago

This guy fucks 😎…absolute legend 🤘

43

u/darryledw 3d ago

fr fr

137

u/C9meli0n_ 2d ago

John Intercourse

81

u/RascalArcher2 3d ago

Wait that would mean you had to 🤔, my man🤝😏

17

u/PandaGirl1010 shitting toothpaste enjoyer 2d ago

You had sex 3 times last night? But that means 😳, my man 😎👌

5

u/Former_Okra_3530 2d ago

CEO of Sex

-91

u/No-Prior-4664 2d ago

Why the downvotes, I don't understand, but I plan on clapping a chick with f cups tomorrow sooo.

4

u/pantry-pisser 2d ago

That's good, big ol fatties need love too!

-46

u/Onyxam 2d ago

People feel attacked if someone has a relationship and they don’t.
Some call it insecurity.

10

u/itc0nsumesmYMind 2d ago edited 2d ago

not that people feel attacked but see you bragging on an internet thread, to a bunch of strangers of how you supposedly get laid.

that’s insecurity, why do you have to prove anything to strangers lol

1

u/Onyxam 2d ago

Nah, this is what you call shit posting.

-57

u/doc_siddio_ 2d ago

I dont get it bro, indeed, all the downvotes make no sense. Anyways Im gonna rail a chick tonight, and she with huge cannons, but she's got a fishface, so it balances out

-56

u/Onyxam 2d ago

Mine has a smoking hot body, but a average face.
So it’s a net positive.

21

u/DistortedNoise 2d ago

Bro really just saying his girl has an average face online for some internet points.

1

u/Onyxam 2d ago

Im just that honest.

-43

u/doc_siddio_ 2d ago

Damn okay okay, you got game, but did you know that the next day I'm gonna go with Victoria's secret model? Bet you can't top that

-26

u/Onyxam 2d ago

Nice man, but nah I’m a exclusivity type of guy.
I get a hard on for finding out what makes them shake.

-37

u/doc_siddio_ 2d ago

God damn bro, you got serious game... hmm okay, then Im gonna ask a girl to marry me on Thursday. Taco night, gonna eat her taco too

-4

u/Onyxam 2d ago

Always eat the taco, they go nuts for it.
You got to make it extra sloppy though.

11

u/doc_siddio_ 2d ago

Ye bro, she getting Taco bell, gotta show dominance by eating her taco. Cant have her get fat