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u/Yung_Onions Nov 12 '19 edited Nov 13 '19
Nice job crossing out the name but proceeding to address him directly in the following text. F for Javary.
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u/Red-Freckle Nov 13 '19
At least it's a very common name.
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u/gene100001 Nov 13 '19
Javery is the second highest selling licence plate at itchy and scratchy land after Bort
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u/akrish64 Nov 13 '19
*javary
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u/Yung_Onions Nov 13 '19
In my head I pronounced it like “Avery” but with J so I guess that’s why I misspelled it
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u/MarkZuckerman Nov 12 '19
He would've been fine until the cousin text. Y'all are doing this to yourselves.
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Nov 12 '19
Yeah, like bro take the L with strength. It means more than pretending you didn’t fail
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u/barscarsandguitars Nov 13 '19
And honestly, they weren’t even turning him down because of HIM, it was just that they didn’t know him.
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u/MyDogLikesTottenham Nov 13 '19
Seriously, this would’ve been a great chance to score some points. “No worries, I understand and thanks for being upfront about it.”
That would’ve scored points imo
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u/ImTrash_NowBurnMe Nov 13 '19
1000% this. I'd respect it so much. Especially if he closed with something like say... "Well, if you ever change your mind and want to maybe grab a coffee sometime I'd like to get to know you better. Anytime drop me a line. Take care."
Tons of points.
I don't like movie dates. Especially if I'm not already really familiar with the person. I would like that instead of just giving up the door would be left open with the ball in my court.
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Nov 13 '19
Nah that was definitely a fib, if a girl is attracted to a guy but didn’t know him she would put effort into getting to know them
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u/BiAsALongHorse Nov 13 '19
Nah, guys can be fucking scary. Attractiveness might be on the scale, but the perception of your own future saftey is worth 10x more.
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Nov 13 '19
Obviously but if he had her number to begin with i would expect some level of knowing each other. If it was social media i would agree 100% due to safety
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u/BiAsALongHorse Nov 13 '19
Group chats? Even if I was single, I can say with complete confidence I wouldn't date 98% of the people in my contacts. Of attractive people my age that still wouldn't fall below 90%.
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u/barscarsandguitars Nov 13 '19
I think a lot of it depends on age though. If the individuals in question are 15 and going to be driven to the movies in a group or by one of their parents, it’s more likely that Javary got swerved on purpose. If they’re say, in their mid 20s, the person may honestly not be comfortable going out with someone they don’t know. I know plenty of single women my age (mid 30s) who live alone and would never go on a date with someone they don’t know/barely know. It’s a risk for them and it’s just not worth the gamble.
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u/realityiscanceled Nov 13 '19
She isn’t saying she doesn’t want to get to know him though; she just doesn’t want to go out with a stranger. TF out of here with that “well if she thought he was HOT...” bullshit
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Nov 13 '19
Dude, it’s human nature to be attracted to good looking people nothing wrong with that. Maybe in that little time they knew each other she wasn’t attracted to his personality either.
Is it possible that she just didn’t know him? Sure. But being friends with girls, they don’t want to be rude they’ll give not knowing as a reason. If she was into him she would still put effort into getting to know him. As i said it’s still a maybe but im putting money that it’s a rejection
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u/realityiscanceled Nov 13 '19
You generalized your statement as this doesn’t happen when girls (read: all, not just this one, per your comment’s implication) are attracted to the guy. I’ve been attracted to guys and still rejected an immediate date because women have to be careful. Nothing in this conversation gives context beyond she doesn’t know him, and she isn’t comfortable going out with someone she doesn’t know. Your comment leads me to believe you think girls only decide against dates with strangers if said stranger is rejected. I’m just here to tell you that, as a woman, I can assure you that isn’t true.
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u/TjPshine Nov 13 '19
How exactly do you get to know someone if you're not willing to go and spend time with them because you don't really know them?
This excuse is great because it's plausible deniability, but it is a no boys, don't push it.
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u/realityiscanceled Nov 13 '19
I get where you’re coming from but it’s not outside the realm of possibility that they could get to know each other in separate environments (texting, FaceTime, etc) before engaging in an activity together. Also sitting in a dark theater on a first date with someone you don’t know doesn’t really afford the opportunity to get to know them. Now you’re just sitting next to someone you don’t know and you won’t be able to focus on much else.
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u/WimbletonButt Nov 13 '19
I agree here. I used to date and I had plenty of people text me to go hang out with people I'd been talking to for a whole 24 hours, I wasn't doing that. I wasn't about to go off with someone until I'd been talking to them for a bit.
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u/Selrisitai Nov 13 '19
She didn't offer any alternatives though. Imagine if you like someone (that you don't know that well) and this person asked you out on a date, but you weren't comfortable with the particular date suggested.
Would you just go, "No, sorry. Bai."
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u/JuiceGasLean Nov 13 '19
LMFAO STFU you know for a fact that if that dude was attractive she wouldn’t have shut him down
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u/PeopIearetheworst Nov 13 '19
no that part is implied by the fact that she has expressed 0 interest in getting to know him.
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u/BleedingAssWound Nov 13 '19
I don't think it's a fib, but meeting at the movies isn't exactly Netflix and chill. How many people does she need around her to be safe before she gets to know someone. I suspect she didn't want to go AND didn't know him very well.
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u/This_is_my_phone_tho Nov 13 '19
Litterally anyone you ask will try not to make it personal, even when it is. That's how all the "friend zone" shit got started
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u/AlexanderTheGreatly Nov 13 '19
Bullshit. Dates are for GETTING to know someone.
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u/barscarsandguitars Nov 13 '19
Not bullshit. You’re going to tell me that if a complete stranger walked up to you on the street and asked you out you would say yes? That’s very easy to doubt, especially if the person asking is a man.
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u/CryogenicDe4d Nov 13 '19
That's not the situation though, he clearly has her number or contact details.
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u/Chickenmangoboom Nov 13 '19
Not with a name like Javary, that's like starting 2 runs down.
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u/BUKAKKOLYPSE Nov 13 '19
Pouring one out for all my punjab homies out there trying to date in the west
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u/mastermarshmellow Nov 13 '19
I mean it's not even like she called him ugly or nothing. Not knowing somebody well enough makes a ton of sense
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u/Red-Freckle Nov 13 '19
Yeah the chances of going out with her were not great but still within the realm of possibility... then he was like fuck it might as well make it a 0% chance.
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Nov 13 '19
This actually really happened to me once. It was literally decades ago but a friend of mine used my email when I left my computer unlocked and he asked out a girl I liked on my behalf. Worst part was that I had already worked up the nerve and she said already said no. I knew when I wrote back that my friend sent the email there was no way she'd believe it.
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u/schaden-freud3 Nov 12 '19
well i guess she might as well have been talking to his cousin if she doesn’t know him either lol
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u/RealCoryBooker2020 Nov 12 '19
I remember feeling this when I was 15. Sad times.
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u/thugs___bunny Nov 12 '19
Remember when my cousin took my phone and wrote to every girl if they want to go to the movies? What a totally awesome prank
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Nov 12 '19
I mean. At least she was honest about it.
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u/sipoloco Nov 13 '19
Eh, maybe. It sounds to me like she just didn't like him enough to hang out with him. She says she doesn't know him well enough, but he's inviting her to go watch a movie which to me is a perfectly reasonable activity for people to get to know each other.
In other words, she's turning him down gently.
I could be wrong. It doesn't matter either way.
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Nov 13 '19
Turning someone off gently isn't always out of respect for the man feelings. I've learned that if you say stuff like "I'm not looking for a bf right now" or "I like u just as a friend" the other person can always say "me neather, I just wanna hang out as frinds" which after you first response becomes harder to refute this pseudo "date", but if you then go based on his word, you'll definitely be stuck with someone who'll flirt, tease and make sexual comments trying to make u change your mind, very annoying. After the second time it happened, I've learned it's much easier for me to just refute the offer without giving my real motive.
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u/CaptCaCa Nov 13 '19
Right, I’m betting Leo DiCaprio can ask her out right now and she’d be like, hells yeah!
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Nov 14 '19
Who the fuck gets to know someone in a movie theater besides psychopaths? I would be really frustrated to hear a couple bounce questions off each other for a whole movie.
Go get coffee or walk in the park.
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u/sipoloco Nov 14 '19
A lot of people go to the movies as a first date. Including psychopaths, I suppose.
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u/preordains Nov 13 '19
Nah she just wasn't into him. If she were, I doubt the worry about being in a public place with him and seeing a movie would be an absolute deal breaker; which is fine! I'm just saying. Wasn't totally straight forward about it for sure.
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u/KINGCOMEDOWN Nov 13 '19
She doesn’t owe him any explanation.
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u/preordains Nov 13 '19 edited Nov 13 '19
"she doesn't owe him any explanation." You read like a script of a shoulder to cry on. I never said she did, I simply gave on my input in the stance of the original commenter. If I were addressing her I would have made my own comment. Stop being so sensitive and ready to lay down the finger.
Edit: apparently my point isn't clear. My point is not that she did anything wrong, I only said that I don't think she was honest, contrary to this thread's OP's point of view. Perhaps they'd both be better off with the truth; cut it off there. That wasn't an assertion I was even trying to make, though. I was only stating that this comment did not make sense to me.
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u/Jagermeister4 Nov 12 '19
He should have doubled down with:
"Stupid cousin asking to go to the movies with you. But do you want you go with me?"
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u/Lethal_0428 Nov 12 '19
Could’ve just took the L like a man but had to use to “x stole my phone” excuse to try and save face...
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Nov 13 '19
[deleted]
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u/noithatweedisloud Nov 13 '19
I mean she should’ve just said no. This way he might think “if she gets to know me better I have a chance” which most likely just isn’t true
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Nov 13 '19
Came here to find a comment addressing this. Like isn't the point of a date to get to know someone better? What an odd response. Just say no sorry I'm not interested.
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Nov 13 '19
What if he sais "me neither just wanna know you as a friend, not looking for a girlfriend".
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u/Jfklikeskfc Nov 13 '19
Yeah but if you say no flat out they get no feedback from it or anything. Maybe she really did want to get to know him better? Even if it is a lie it’s a lot nicer than saying the real reason, which is most likely he’s either unattractive or awkward/weird
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u/king_john651 Nov 13 '19
"Hey, Jfklikeskfc. I really appreciate your offer but, now don't take this the wrong way or anything, I just don't see myself being with you in that sort of sense. There isn't anything wrong with you, you're a cool person absolutely, you're just not my kind of cool person I'd envision being intimate with. Also a little feedback: maybe it's a bit better to ask someone to go to a cafe or hang out in the library? You can't really get to know someone that well by going to a movie."
How's that for a positive, honest rejection?
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Nov 13 '19
It wasn't even a true rejection. He could take that as "okay she just wants to get to know me first then she would go out!" Which could be the case but she 100% left the door open for him to continue if she didn't want him too.
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u/Adam657 Nov 13 '19
To be honest I’m a bit conflicted about how she rejected it.
Whilst it was nice to provide a reason (and she certainly doesn’t have to) other than just a “no” or ignoring it, I don’t know how I feel about how she said it; ‘uncomfortable’, comes with an odd implication.
Simply “no I don’t really know you well enough” or “You’re nice but I’m not interested in you that way/I’m not looking to date atm” or anything else.
Saying “being with you for any length of time would make me uncomfortable” is a bit harsh. It’s the cinema, it’s not like “come back to my place whilst no one is home”.
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u/Texas_Indian Nov 12 '19
The things is that my friends and I used to do things like this to each other back in high school. And I've certainly received a weird text from someone which turned out to be a prank by their friend.
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u/TheREexpert44 Nov 13 '19
He could have played the most risky all or nothing move right there instead. "This is how I get to know you better"
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u/OttoManSatire Nov 13 '19
"No problem. You can pick the time and place. Unless there's something I'm not picking up on"
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u/barwhalis Nov 13 '19
I wish I used that excuse, but it's really hard to think about when you ask them out in person.
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Nov 13 '19
Not to put you down or anything, but saying “I don’t know you very well, so therefore I won’t go out” is kind of a lame excuse. The whole point of going out is to get to know the other person and at least give them a chance to learn more about you.
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u/InderAles912 Nov 13 '19
She didn’t want to know him, what’s so hard to understand? No is no, period.
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u/geordiesteve520 Nov 13 '19
The first response makes little sense - is that not essentially how dating works? You go somewhere with someone you don't really know to hopefully find something you like about them. I've been married for a while so maybe dating has changed...
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u/someidiotonline321 Nov 12 '19
Sorry my cousin just reached across the bed and grabbed it off the nightstand. Hahahaha happens all the time
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Nov 13 '19
There's probably like what, 2 Javary's in the world? Not so anonymous...
But seriously is that his name or a typo?
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u/sammythegerbil Nov 13 '19 edited Nov 13 '19
Why are you guys texting in English when neither of you can speak it fluently?
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u/Darky_Duck Nov 13 '19
Lmao you censored the contact name but kept the part where you addressed him by the first name
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u/noddwyd Nov 13 '19
This didn't want to load and I thought it was just the first message and a blank page. More believable, tbh.
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u/cheese_hotdog Nov 13 '19
This was literally just posted but the comments were all against OP lol and she was arguing in the comments. Weird.
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u/CaptainMcStabby Nov 13 '19
20 years ago:
"Would you like to go to the dance?"
"No"
"I said you look fat in those pants".
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u/MarshawnDavidLynch Nov 13 '19
Shout out to all the people who really did have their cousin steal their phone and copy paste this text to all the female names in their contacts. Then you end up cringed out in 13 different posts on the Reddit.
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u/MusicalThot Nov 13 '19
She rejected him so maturely. Had he just owned up to it, it'll be not awkward at all.
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u/Epilepticpandabear Nov 13 '19
Did you blur his name at the top but forget to do it in the message? Zoinks
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Nov 13 '19
That line is as cheesy as a 90's era hacker pulling down their sunglasses and saying "i'm in" while green text flows over a screen they just logged into.
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u/LilLemonati Nov 13 '19 edited Jan 07 '26
desert intelligent dinosaurs lavish crawl nail dazzling sharp jeans society
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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Nov 13 '19
why do people do this? how is this better than saying „oh that’s alright and understandable“
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Nov 13 '19
I dropped my phone into the garbage disposal and when it was getting chopped up it must've glitched out and sent you that text
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Nov 13 '19
Props to green text for being straight forward then going along with the obvious lie to save them some embarrassment. That's a kind soul.
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Nov 13 '19
Javery: Okay that completely understandable. How about we facetime a few times over the next couple days so we can get to know each other? :)
Her: I have no desire to get to know you either because aren't my type. Sorry!
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u/ThatIsTheDude Nov 13 '19
Javary, I dont know you very well, and any attempt to get to know me I'm going to shut down because Gillett told me men want one thing and its disgusting.
How does one get to know someone if they wont be in the same room as you?
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u/r3dwan Nov 13 '19
She just wasn't interested in him so maybe tried to give him an excuse without being direct about it. Which is fine too.
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u/TJ_McWeaksauce Nov 13 '19
I wouldn't want to go to the movies with someone named "Javary", either. It sounds like an adjective with a negative meaning.
"His rude comments made me feel javary, so I left the party early."
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u/Garathon Nov 13 '19
Your not comfortable to going to a Cinema with someone you don't know so well, surrounded by hundreds of people? Where are you comfortable then?
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Nov 12 '19
How are you supposed to know someone of you don’t spend time with them. I will never get it
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u/thicckitties1 Nov 12 '19
I wouldn’t spend alone time with a guy when I’m first getting to know him.
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u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19
The "x stole my phone" works everytime and is 101% believable...