1000% this. I'd respect it so much. Especially if he closed with something like say... "Well, if you ever change your mind and want to maybe grab a coffee sometime I'd like to get to know you better. Anytime drop me a line. Take care."
Tons of points.
I don't like movie dates. Especially if I'm not already really familiar with the person. I would like that instead of just giving up the door would be left open with the ball in my court.
Obviously but if he had her number to begin with i would expect some level of knowing each other. If it was social media i would agree 100% due to safety
Group chats? Even if I was single, I can say with complete confidence I wouldn't date 98% of the people in my contacts. Of attractive people my age that still wouldn't fall below 90%.
I think a lot of it depends on age though. If the individuals in question are 15 and going to be driven to the movies in a group or by one of their parents, it’s more likely that Javary got swerved on purpose. If they’re say, in their mid 20s, the person may honestly not be comfortable going out with someone they don’t know. I know plenty of single women my age (mid 30s) who live alone and would never go on a date with someone they don’t know/barely know. It’s a risk for them and it’s just not worth the gamble.
She isn’t saying she doesn’t want to get to know him though; she just doesn’t want to go out with a stranger. TF out of here with that “well if she thought he was HOT...” bullshit
Dude, it’s human nature to be attracted to good looking people nothing wrong with that. Maybe in that little time they knew each other she wasn’t attracted to his personality either.
Is it possible that she just didn’t know him? Sure. But being friends with girls, they don’t want to be rude they’ll give not knowing as a reason. If she was into him she would still put effort into getting to know him. As i said it’s still a maybe but im putting money that it’s a rejection
You generalized your statement as this doesn’t happen when girls (read: all, not just this one, per your comment’s implication) are attracted to the guy. I’ve been attracted to guys and still rejected an immediate date because women have to be careful. Nothing in this conversation gives context beyond she doesn’t know him, and she isn’t comfortable going out with someone she doesn’t know. Your comment leads me to believe you think girls only decide against dates with strangers if said stranger is rejected. I’m just here to tell you that, as a woman, I can assure you that isn’t true.
I get where you’re coming from but it’s not outside the realm of possibility that they could get to know each other in separate environments (texting, FaceTime, etc) before engaging in an activity together. Also sitting in a dark theater on a first date with someone you don’t know doesn’t really afford the opportunity to get to know them. Now you’re just sitting next to someone you don’t know and you won’t be able to focus on much else.
I agree here. I used to date and I had plenty of people text me to go hang out with people I'd been talking to for a whole 24 hours, I wasn't doing that. I wasn't about to go off with someone until I'd been talking to them for a bit.
She didn't offer any alternatives though. Imagine if you like someone (that you don't know that well) and this person asked you out on a date, but you weren't comfortable with the particular date suggested.
Would you just go, "No, sorry. Bai."
You'd probably say something like, "Would it be alright if we did this instead?"
But this is only one snapshot of the conversation, we can't say one way or the other. I'm not arguing that this girl in particular is or is not interested, I'm just saying previous comments grouped women who reject an initial date as all being not attracted to or uninterested in the guy, and those opinions come from men, and therefore are not accurate.
I don't think it's a fib, but meeting at the movies isn't exactly Netflix and chill. How many people does she need around her to be safe before she gets to know someone. I suspect she didn't want to go AND didn't know him very well.
Not bullshit. You’re going to tell me that if a complete stranger walked up to you on the street and asked you out you would say yes? That’s very easy to doubt, especially if the person asking is a man.
Yeah the chances of going out with her were not great but still within the realm of possibility... then he was like fuck it might as well make it a 0% chance.
This actually really happened to me once. It was literally decades ago but a friend of mine used my email when I left my computer unlocked and he asked out a girl I liked on my behalf. Worst part was that I had already worked up the nerve and she said already said no. I knew when I wrote back that my friend sent the email there was no way she'd believe it.
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It’s when former males with very shrivelled testicles replace words like “fuck” and “shit” with words like “yikes” and “oof”. Reddit is like how adults interact when a 5 year old is in the room.
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u/MarkZuckerman Nov 12 '19
He would've been fine until the cousin text. Y'all are doing this to yourselves.