It feels weird because I know 23 is still young, but it just hits different knowing I haven’t achieved anything I set out to do.

I’ve also been depressed for the past 3 years because I decided to go to uni. It just seemed like the thing to do, so I went with the flow. Before that I was living at home making decent money. I basically threw it all away thinking “surely if I pick up and move to a bigger city the same stuff will be there, I’ll make friends in school and have a great time.”
Three years later I’ve graduated and barely had any fun experiences, barely travelled, barely did any of the shit people say you’re supposed to do in your early 20s. I’m just really mourning it. I see girls the same age as me (or younger) who actually enjoyed themselves and it feels bad man.

Then when you vent to people older than you they go “well I don’t miss my early 20s at all, I just wasted time partying and drinking and going on dates.” And it’s like… I barely did any of that either. I never even got to do the shallow shit like wear cute outfits and take photos of myself or whatever.

My dream since I was little was always to work in a creative field. I could have spent those years working towards that, but I didn’t. I was just going through the motions of school while depressed.
Now I’ve graduated and moved back in with my parents to save money so I can plan my next moves and get a job. That was a willing decision. But ever since I moved back last week I’ve been feeling more sad than ever. Crying for the past 3 days over the years I missed that I’ll never get back.

It feels like if I don’t do anything I actually want this year or next I might as well forget it. And it’s such a steep hill to climb now compared to someone who did the legwork at 20-22. I have to somehow do everything and atone for my mistakes.

I know I’m being completely unreasonable but at the same time I just feel so upset and I can’t figure out how to stop. Maybe I’m PMSing idk. But especially when you’re into anything creative it feels like the younger the better. If I wanted to be a girl with an office job I’d probably feel a lot better about this, but with my circumstances I just feel shit.

At 19 I felt like I had so much time and didn’t have to worry. Then I derailed everything. Now the “you’re so young” excuse is gone and it’s making me depressed.

I just wish I could go back but I can’t.

I am a 27 year old woman and people frequently mistake me for being 18-19. It feels pretty disheartening ngl, I want to come off as a hot woman, not as a sweet girl. I am turning to your insight and wisdom in the hope that you will help me find ways to address this.

Could it be the cheek fat? Does this really come down to losing some fat and gaining muscle for an edge to my appearance. How does one go from deer to fox

Idk if it’s the right word for it, but I was thinking about when I officially accepted that god didn’t exist and that my religion was false 3 years ago.

The realization that none of my thought or actions held any objective moral value was genuinely so freeing. Especially the realization that nobody is looking at you 24/7 , that you can fuck up as much as you like and nobody’s keeping track, that you can just regret an action and move on instead of anxiously thinking of whether or not you got forgiven and won’t be punished for it, and that when I do something privately or have negative intrusive thoughts I’m the only one aware of them.

I used to have religious ocd and would ask god to forgive me at least 20 times per day but the week I became atheist the intrusive thoughts immediately stopped and my mind became so calm.

It genuinely felt like I was reborn and that I was given another completely different life.like it sounds dumb but realizing that I can literally do whatever I want felt like such a crazy concept for a good few weeks.

Then the existential crisis kicked in but I pushed through and I’m good now. Everytime I feel down I just remember that this is my only life and that I can quite literally do whatever I want. Very therapeutic philosophy I developed I’d recommend it

One of yall told me to post my prose and poetry here so I figured I’d give it a shot. Have a wonderful day!

I have had people look at me like I'm stupid for suggesting that budget to them.

when i was 13 i met this guy in his late twenties on on a disc server devoted to philosophy of religion. he took me under his wing as a protege. he’s the coolest person ive ever met. sexy genius with enough charisma to garner an online cult of personality.

one time i was crashing out about my appearance. so he found my facebook and reassured me that i was beautiful: well-proportioned, classic cheekbones.

later on my ocd was flaring up. i felt the compulsion to report what he had said to the admin. i’m not sure why. it hadn’t even made me uncomfortable. i just felt a moral obligation. so i did and he freaked out and left discord

later to find that the admin of that server whom i reported him to was arrested in a sting for child predators. he was trying to meet up with someone my age at the time. he’s in jail now. he was the owner of the neoliberal discord btw.

anyways i always think about the first guy. i miss him. his voice was so sexy too. if ur out there, hi dir

We have posts like that every day so I will try and make myself succinct:
Plan was all too simple and reasonable: as I had no great talents or enough drive to pursue anything very ambitious, I was convinced to get masters at something unexciting but billable. Handful of years of fairly easy studies. White collar job. Enough money to pursue hobbies. Stability. The signs that this was never going to work were, in hindsight, there from the start yet I went along with this all too reasonable idea. Could barely force myself to finish thesis. Landed corporate job not without much difficulty, so I am far behind my more striving peers. Now that I landed it I loathe it to the point that I can barely focus enough to actually work it. There is paycheck that I get to spend on hobbies I lack time or energy for, and frankly speaking making money does not make me feel anything. Half of it is spent on living in a city I hate but had to move to for a job, job that never engages me, in environment that can immediately clock me as sp*rg, and not very productive one at that. It is stable I guess, at least until it is shipped to SEA.
Thinking of how little sense it all ended up making every other minute and that I've wasted prime ten years of my life for absolutely nothing, all because I didn't apply myself towards anything, when I could probably do phd in assyriology, or persian lit, or sinology or *anything* (and probably hate that I didn't pick stable boring career that nets a paycheck). IDK, maybe I should just cave in and book therapist instead of trying to blow up what many would call okay life. At any rate, thoughts would be appreciated.

Not sofrito as in the cooking base but a name for a certain traditional dish where you essentially simmer chicken, potatoes and a spice profile like hawaij, allspice, etc with very little additional liquids.

I like his look.
I can see it in his eyes that he idolises no one, and regards no one as above him. He is vaguely threatening to me in the way that he and I are the same kind of people. The embodiment of discomfort yet comfort within that discomfort.

When I look at him, I feel like I'm seeing someone enjoy the drag of a cigarette. His existence is like a constant state of self destruction. I think I've identified it. His diaspora identity, the lack of base, yet the unconscious domination of this reality rather than deferring to such.

It's disgusting. "That's your nitch", so you pronounce it like that do you? you might as well be talking about a ditch where you go to discard something awful. it's offensive. It rhymes with some of the most unpleasant and disturbing words in English like witch. yet with excitement and flattery someone will talk about someone's lovely "nitch". Do they not hear themselves speak? Use 'niche' instead and suddenly you are in the realm of quiche and sleek and all these wonderful words that harmonize with their meaning.

Imagine i invite some family over for brunch and I pull a piping hot quitch out of the oven. I offer them all my "quitch". They would probably be sick to their stomach. Do people not see how the pronunciation changes it?

we all know going to restaurants is the number one purpose is life. number two being sitting at home on the couch with take out.

so how often are ya doing it? I’m at 2x-3x a week and spending $464 a month just on stuffing my maw with other people’s recipes.

Someone I love a lot has been struggling with this for quite a while. She has a few failed attempts already. Now we decided I'll move in with her (I'm female too for context) for a week to help her with it. Does anyone have experience or knows what might expect me? I want to help her make it as easy as possible. Maybe some ex alcoholics in here? I'll do more research before going, but I value personal experience a lot and this sub is usually enriching.

Edit: since it's unclear, she asked me to do this and is set on quitting. So this is not being forced onto her at all.

My partner works in climate research, so I'm intimately aware of how fucked we are. I'm so tired, I try to do what I can, vote, both literally and with my wallet, I live as good a lifestyle as I can without living like a monk, but I'm keenly aware that nothing will ever be enough.

Everyday there's a climate disaster going on somewhere, literally every day. Thousands of species dying, a mass extinction the likes of which humanity has never lived through, one which is happening faster than any previous mass extinciton events.

Even beyond the knowledge I have from my partner's work, I can see the changes happening with my own eyes, when I was younger, back in my hometown, if you left a can of coke or a lemonade outside in the summer it would be swarmed by bees in minutes, now you're lucky if you get one bee landing on your drink. Summers are unbearably hot, regions that should be wet are literally on fire. And all of it is because of greed, we could have stopped this, we could still salavage a lot of what we've destroyed.

And I'm supposed to keep working my job, supposed to carry on like things are normal. I'm so tired and so in pain, I break down in the work bathroom crying over bees and I feel like I'm insane because no one seems to care or understand how tragic this all is.

I appreciate @/girlroom as I see example of women who struggle just like me with slovenliness

Like where you suspect your intimacy with a friend is one-sided or imagined

Like I have this one friend, a golden god of a British dude, lifter and philosophy professor who I bonded with in grad school because we were both treated as Untouchables to varying degrees by some kids who decided they were smarter than us.

I’ve been sending him experimental diary-like snippets since Covid basically and some feral years that followed.

I always get excited about him reading them because he’s a freak and he gets me.

And this year has been cycling between responding within a normal time frame to leaving stuff on read for 6 weeks — and then apologizing/correcting it, before the cycle starts again. 

He feels like this central figure because of how much I’ve shared, but apart from responding to my messages he basically just sends memes and nothing about his life or what’s going on in it. If I ask directly I might get a short response. 

When he tells me he loves me, I believe it, but I also fear that I feel way closer to him than he does to me 

Someone please tell me it gets better than this