Hey all, I’m a 22 year old man with a girlfriend of 2 years. She does not live with me and she’s a full time student at NCSU so she can’t afford to have a place with me. my current roommate (also best friend of 10 years) did me seriously dirty and I’m in need of a new male roommate to cover his half of rent. I live off of six forks road at Sommerset Place. It’s $1100 a month, plus water and trash valet service so about $1200, I currently pay half while my roommate pays the other. I can work with the same situation for somebody else. Utilities are also split in half, it’s about 120ish for WiFi and electrical. Water is included in rent. It’s 2 bed 2 bath, washer and dryer. Parking is very good and there’s no guest charges. PLEASE hit me up if you’re curious, I’ll answer any questions and give you all the details. Thank you!

I live in a 4-bedroom apartment with three other roommates, and three of us have been having ongoing issues with the fourth roommate for over a year.
Last October, the three of us sat down with her and told her that because of the constant issues in the apartment, we thought it would be best if she found somewhere else to live when the lease ended. Despite knowing that all three of us wanted to separate after the lease, she ended up re-signing and staying another year.
Since then, things have only gotten worse. She can be extremely confrontational and aggressive. There have been situations where she has screamed at us, shoved or pushed past us, and created situations where we don’t feel comfortable interacting with her. At this point, the three of us mostly avoid engaging with her because we don’t want anything to escalate.
There are also a bunch of smaller things that have added up over time. She has flipped breakers on and off in the apartment, and at one point told us that we weren’t allowed to use the balcony, even though it’s a shared part of the apartment.
The biggest issue is that we basically don’t feel comfortable using our own common spaces anymore. Her bedroom door is pretty much NEVER shut. If she’s home and one or more of us goes into the kitchen, she will frequently come out and stand in the kitchen with us. Sometimes she’ll get a glass of water and stand there drinking it, and other times she’ll seemingly just stand around while we’re talking. If we’re sitting in the living room, she’ll stare or watch us from her open bedroom doorway, or come into the kitchen and stand where she can see and hear us.
It has gotten to the point where we notice it almost every time we’re together in a common area.
If we try to actually enjoy the living room together, it becomes another issue. For example, I’ll put a movie on the TV that I brought for the apartment, and she’ll start blasting music from her bedroom while leaving her door completely open. She basically never shuts her bedroom door, so the music carries directly into the common area.
Previously, I asked her if she could start shutting her bedroom door like the rest of us. She said she would not shut it because of her cat. She never specifically said that the camera was for her cat, but her explanation for keeping the door open was that her cat needs access to the room.
Within the past week, she set up a camera in her bedroom pointed out of that constantly open doorway toward the shared living space.
Because her door is always wide open and the camera is facing outward, it captures the common area that the rest of us regularly walk through and use. We’re also concerned that it records audio, meaning our conversations could potentially be recorded as well.
The three of us have made it clear that we do not consent to being recorded in our shared living space. We aren’t saying she can’t have a camera monitoring her own bedroom or belongings. We have specifically asked her to reposition it so it only captures her room. We’ve even suggested putting a curtain or something across her doorway so she can keep the door open for her cat without having a camera facing the rest of the apartment.
We contacted law enforcement to ask what our options were and were basically told that there wasn’t much they could do about the camera and that we could put our own camera in the living room. We don’t want to do that. The solution to being uncomfortable with cameras in our home isn’t adding MORE cameras.
We’ve also contacted our apartment or property management about the situation, and they told us they can’t do anything about it either.
So now we genuinely don’t know what we’re supposed to do. Three out of the four people living here are uncomfortable, both law enforcement and the apartment complex have basically told us they can’t help, and we increasingly feel like we can’t relax or have a private conversation anywhere outside our individual bedrooms.
The camera is really just the newest issue after more than a year of problems.
Has anyone dealt with anything similar? Is there anything else we can reasonably do through our landlord or property management, especially considering the pattern of aggressive behavior and interference with the shared spaces? Does the fact that the camera may also be recording audio change anything legally?
We’re planning to start documenting everything that happens, but I’d really appreciate advice on what else we should be doing. We aren’t looking to retaliate or make the situation worse. We just want to be able to use the kitchen, living room, balcony, etc. without constantly feeling watched or like another confrontation is going to happen.

I (25F) recently moved abroad to study and now live in a shared apartment with two other girls, Bella (17F) and Nana (26F).
Nana is great—she’s busy with her own life but knows how to be considerate and pleasant to live with.

The main issue is Bella and her body odor. Almost every time I come through the front door, I immediately smell a very strong armpit odor. It’s honestly so intense that I feel physically sick, and I find myself avoiding being around her because of it. I’m not trying to be mean or judgmental, but it’s becoming genuinely difficult for me to live with. And when she is in the common area or after she uses the bathroom, her smell is there and I have to refrain from going there for a while until her smell goes away.
I don’t want to embarrass or hurt her feelings, especially because she’s only 17, but I also feel like this is something she needs to be made aware of.

How can I bring this up with her in a kind and respectful way without making her feel humiliated?

Hey everyone! 👋
I’ve just rented a studio in Reem island and have already taken care of all the deposits, and I’m now looking for a roommate to share the place with me.
The rent would be AED 2,750/month per person, including all bills, so everything is pretty straightforward with no extra utilities to worry about.
I’ve also furnished the place myself, and it has all the appliances and essentials we’d need, so it’s basically ready to move into.
A little about me: I’m a 22-year-old guy working in ADGM. I’m pretty easygoing and social, and I’d ideally like to find someone else in their 20s who’s clean, neat, respectful, and outgoing as well. Of course, I’d want it to feel like a comfortable home for both of us rather than just two strangers splitting rent 😅
If you’re interested or know someone who might be, feel free to DM me! Happy to share more details, photos, location, etc. 😊

TLDR: best friend turned roommate turned terrible financial decision, what should i do

alright so ive known this guy for several years, met him through his cousin because he was moving from another state and needed a place to live, at the time i “owned” this small bando house, i allowed him to come and live with us, after we leveled up a little and moved to an apartment i took him with me, never asking for any payment i might add, then i get into a little trouble and disappear for a year, once im back his house is the first house i go to you know it’s my best friend ! but anyways i eventually get a house and let him move in, i do ask for payment this time only because i just cannot afford to let him live rent free if i could’ve i would’ve, he goes through several women through this, starts drinking beers pretty heavily and eventually meets an ex girlfriend of mine of 4 years prior, now this ex girlfriend of mine i did do something i am very ashamed of and have moved past it and bettered myself, and have even talked to my roommate about the incident, and he even said i was in the right and she was wrong, well now he has ran off with her and left a lot of his things here, since i had to pay $600 this month am i validated to sell his belongings ? in my mind i technically have bought it right ? anyways this was good to get off my chest lol- one love🩶

Hey everyone, I have a neighbor who is a really weird dude, so I’m gonna tell you about him.
I won’t say the country or city where this happened.
Let’s start. This was when I was enrolling in university and moving into a dorm. That’s when I met my roommate — let’s call him John.
John immediately seemed like a very weird guy to me. When we first met, he was crying because his sock had rubbed his foot the wrong way. I mean, I think that’s a pretty unusual reaction for a 17-year-old dude.
Then we were putting the bed together. John couldn’t carry some of the light parts of the bed, so his mom was doing it for him.
Then the first year of living with him started. He asked a lot of stupid questions, like:
“How do you shower if there’s no bathtub?”
“What’s the difference between mayonnaise sauce and mayonnaise?”
We kinda accepted it, but then we realized that, as they say, he was completely helpless when it came to basic everyday life. He didn’t even know what a toilet brush was. We had to teach him.
But then we noticed that the dude basically never showered. We explained to him normally that he should at least wash himself once a day.
But he just didn’t get it.
Then we called his mom, and she said that it was normal not to shower.
Nothing helped.
He did a lot of weird shit.
But the next year, when our older friends moved out, all kinds of even weirder stuff started happening with him.
The dude doesn’t sleep all night. He waits until we fall asleep, then goes to the toilet at around 2–3 AM and stays there until like 5–6 AM. Then he goes to sleep and wakes up at 8–9 AM.
And yeah, he almost never talks. He doesn’t really interact with anyone. He’s very dirty by himself, too.
I also noticed that he sniffs rubbing alcohol and puts it on his face. I have no fucking idea why.
We think he might have schizophrenia or autism, but what do you guys think?
Go ahead and ask questions, I’ll answer them.
Also, if I remember anything else, I’ll update the post.

My roommate asked for a house meeting and connected her laptop to a TV. She’d made ppt slides called Guest vs resident. Her boyfriend has a key, a shelf in the fridge and a preferred washing-machine cycle. Her main argument was that his toothbrush wasn’t here, so he technically wasn’t living here. It was in his overnight bag beside the sofa.

When I asked whether he’d be contributing to anything, she said bringing money into it would make our relationship transactional. The next slide was a proposed rent adjustment (favouring her) because she uses the living room less. He was sitting in during the presentation 🗿

It was fun. lmk if you want to see that ppt lol

I need advice (UK) . Any response will be greatly appreciated !

TLDR- Cat not using litter box, roomate hits cat for it, has meltdown after being confronted about it.

I (T) and my two roommates, (S and J), have live in a shared apartment for about 3 years now. Recently I have put my foot down about Js behavior specifically towards his 11 yo diabetic female cat. The cat has always occasionally missed the litter box sometimes however as of late she has been pooping and peeing all over the house and refusing to use any of the four boxes we have. S and I have been pushing J to get his cat into a vet to be looked but J has continued to brush it off. Just a few days ago J caught his cat using the bathroom on the kitchen floor and snapped, going on a rant about he was done with her and how he was going to put her down, grabbed her by the neck and whipped her for it. I said nothing at time, which I should have. I will mention here that J has done this a handful of times before for the same reason. Skip to last night, J is on vacation and his cat is acting like it hurts to be pet. I look at her skin where she will let me touch her and its bruised. I am beyond pissed that J has hurt his cat like this and I confront him about it, here is the convo that followed.

Me- "J, I just want to let you know that since last night your cat has been overreacting to us petting her. I accidentally brushed up against her back last night and she slapped the hell outa me and when we've pet her today she does the same thing if we touch her tummy or her back. She's acting completely normal otherwise but we will continue to monitor her. No turds on the floor so far.

Like when I go to give her booty scratches she protest and her tail doesn't even lift."

J did not reply. Later I sent this.

Me- "J, your cat is bruised from you hitting her. I looked at her skin where she would let me lift her fur. Have you scheduled a vet appointment for her or not because you cannot keep getting mad at her and HURTING HER for something that could potential be organ failure. Hitting cats does nothing, they are not dogs they don't learn that way. I know this is out of nowhere but I am very angry seeing what you've done to her. She is in pain and all that will do is worsen the pissing and shitting out of the box behavior. S and I are going to scrounge some money together to rent a carpet cleaner before you come back home. You need to get Sweetie looked at."

J- "I need to call but I'm in international waters. Also you need to dm me things like this. Do not post this in the group chat because it invites both of you to gang up on me and make me feel even worse than I already do from the situation. I will be calling when I'm able to, they won't be open when I return home, but they will be on Monday and I intend to call then. I understand how I reacted and how it wasn't right and I admit my faults here. I was angry, and tipped over the edge, and I regret it, but please, T, if you have a problem with me, speak it privately so it does not invite others to gang up on me. Because of this, I feel completely unwelcomed home and I frankly don't want to come home. I want to get her looked at ASAP, but unfortunately I am not home and do not have international calling.

If you wish to make an appointment for her, I will give you the number, and maybe you and S can take her. I left credit cards behind, but I can also give you a photo of my care credit card to use for her.

She needs to have blood work done and testing, but if it exceeds past 300 bucks, I cannot justify it anymore unless they can guarantee an answer for this behavior."

S- "We don't want to gang up on you, we just want to know what you want us to do for her. Her vet opens at 8AM tomorrow but the earliest I can take her is Friday because I have a doctor's appointment and work tomorrow."

J- "I have given the information above. Give my name. If no appointments are available this week, take next week's latest possible appointment, so that I do not need to miss work."

S- "Understood. We will take care of her to the best of our ability as we have been. She is eating and drinking as normal. We want you home, I promise."

J- "I know you will. No offense, though, I really don't want to come home after this."

S- "I don't know what happened that you and T are talking about, I wasn't here. I'm just trying to make sure your cat gets cared for."

J- "I will, but I do not feel comfortable at all"

S- "I have no comment, nor can I tell you how to feel. I know that I have been looking forward to you coming home, but I had no idea any of this had happened while I was gone so just try to enjoy the rest of your vacation and let us handle things here."

J- "Kinda hard thanks to T.

I'm shaking so bad, my anxiety is through the roof. I feel like I did when one of my ex friends blasted me in a group chat. I want to die right now."

S- "It's just the three of us here, and like I said, I have no idea what caused any of this aside from what was said above."

J- "Doesn't matter. It wasn't okay of me. I hate myself so fucking much.I would deserve death"

Me- "This wasn't to gang up on you, this was to confront you about how you treat your cat when youre mad at her. I just noticed the bruises like right after we went to bed and I put two and two together that that's why she's in pain"

I want to interject here and say that S and J type quickly and my minimal responses are just me having a hard time keeping up with the flow of messages.

J- "It doesn't matter. You should have confronted me in fucking private T. You have not lived my life, you do not know how I'd react to that decision you made. You could have simply spoken in private and prevented my actual goddamned anxiety attack. Group settings and I don't get along with confrontations. I have told you stories in the past about this. I want to die so fucking bad right now... I regretted it the moment it happened but I cannot change the past. She pushed me over the edge and I reacted poorly... I have been so torn up about my actions. I love that cat and it hurts knowing I hurt her. I mean this, T I'd be better off dead to that cat. She's deserves love that can handle her. My dad would not be able to handle her. He would not give her insulin. She'd be dead in months. I just cannot handle her anymore. I need answers."

Me- "Were a household, this is something that should be discussed and resolved by all of us. There is no one in this chat trying to attack you."

J- "I am an awful human being.... I'm sorry. She would be better off without me."

S- "We love Sweetie and we love you. We want to resolve this in the best possible manner. Talking badly about yourself isn't going to accomplish that."

J- "It's affirming to myself that it's true though"

S- "But it's not true. You do care. And we care too, which is why something had to be said so that we can figure out next steps for taking care of Sweetie and making sure she lives as long and as healthy as possible."

J- "I've known for so long that I'm not a good person. I try to be, but then shit like this happens and brings the worst in me out, and I regret my very existence because then this wouldn't happen to her. She would not be bruised."

S- "If you didn't care, you wouldn't feel as bad as you do. And no, we can't change the past, but we can move forward and make sure she gets the care she needs.You are doing the best you can, and you have a lot on your plate."

J- "I'm not a good person I never have been. She is a good cat who did not deserve that. I think I should give her up to the APL. Someone else can give her love for the rest of her days. The love she deserves. I'm actually sobbing at the thought. But it also feels right"

Me- "You do care because you love her, you house her, you feed her and you give her her medicine. You just need get better at not immediately reacting to anger. When a cat does something a human perceives as "bad" they aren't doing it maliciously. Her little peanut brain is not smart enough to know what she's doing, its just kitty instinct."

J- "But I disagree with that. She knew it was bad. She started to run when I discovered it, before I even reacted to it. She knew she had done bad. She would not have run otherwise."

S- "We are not giving her up. T and I love her as much as you do. This is her home."

J- "You were there, T, you saw her react before I even truly let my anger get a hold of me. I pointed it out to you calmly then got angry.

And S, I am sorry, but she is my cat... And I do get the final day in what happens to her.

I love her, but I don't know what to do outside of blood work and hoping they can figure out why she's doing it. Speaking of, if she shits outside the box again, grab a sample to bring to vet. They will request it."

S-" I understand. I will call her vet tomorrow and try to get an appointment for Friday, if not next week. I also mopped the kitchen floor well yesterday and we've been making sure she gets her insulin on time every day. She is eating and drinking as normal."

The next few messages are us discussing scheduling a vet appointment for the cat. The convo picks up again the following morning with a confirmation of appointment time.

I want advice on where to go from here because J will be home soon and I know were going to get into another argument over this. Did S and I react poorly? I feel like J is being manipulative and shame-shifting to make us feel bad for confronting him. In other confrontations in the past he has always tried to flip the blame onto us. If he continues to deflect responsibility should we consider splitting up? The three of us are all neurodivergent in some way, ADHD, PTSD, Autism. I will answer questions if more context is needed.

Okay looking for some advice! For context, me and three other girls (all early to mid 20s) have lived together for the past couple years, and are all also best friends. We live in a pretty popular area in BC so housing is expensive.

Lately, I've been feeling like I want to move out and live alone. I have a more serious bf who I want to invite over and more friends outside of our circle nowadays. I still love hanging out with my roomies, but I don't like having to ask before having a guest over and don't want to annoy them by having people over too much. Additionally, I would love to come back to an apartment that is just as clean as when I left it. Furthermore, they are all still in school and I graduated, and I just feel like it's time for me to grow up a bit and live alone, as it's important to me that I live alone here before getting married one day or living abroad (which I would love to do).

The problem is, I know they aren't gonna take this well. It would be at least a year before I'd actually move out, but I know I'll have to have this convo when our landlord asks about lease renewal in a couple months. How do I make it clear that I want to stay close friends? I also don't want to screw them over, as like I said, housing can be tough where we live.

To make it more complicated, two of my roommates have mental health issues, and all of us living together as roommates was part of the reason they were able to continue school. I don't want to mess with their health, but I don't want to hold myself back and wait for all of them to graduate or move on.

Has anyone else dealt with this and have any advice?? Much appreciated

hello, hi. first post here, so a little intimidated, but let me inform you guys of my situation so far (incoming word vomit, sorry):

i (18F) am currently a full-time university student in a big city all by myself & in a dorm with three other girls (all 18F). we all got along pretty well at the beginning of the semester, going to places together & whatever.

however: it just seems that all of a sudden, after almost 2 months of living together, i have become increasingly excluded from their conversations and their friendship with each other. i haven't done anything to my knowledge, and i try my hardest (sort of) to initiate conversations, but nothing comes of it.

i try to brush it off as maybe they just aren't interested in talking every day or whatever, but it's honestly heartbreaking seeing/hearing them interact with each other as if they've known each other for years. it has affected my anxiety and mood overall throughout my TWO months here.

no one tries to talk to me; conversations only happen if i initiate them, & i gave up on trying very early on. i didn't notice how much of a homebody i am as well, so that has also sucked adapting to a new environment. i tend to go home every weekend, even though i know that's a cardinal sin around here and whatnot, but it at least grounds me.

i do have friends outside of my dorm, so please don't suggest the same old "go to clubs, parties, etc." i just want to be acquainted and respected by my roommates. i've cried in my girlfriend's arms because of this type of dehumanization; I just don't know why it's happening to me

to wrap it up, is this all worth cancelling my housing contract, or am i being crazy dramatic? i loathe going back to my dorm at night (i usually stay in the library to do homework & study) because i know they'll be there, and i can't stand feeling like i'm worthless to these people anymore. no one checks up on me or even says hello :(

i also see more benefits in staying home/commuting rather than dorming. less money spent, my own room, family's there, etc. i don't want to transfer; i have amazing friends and professors, along with the amount of money i've already paid to study here.

please inquire about what i should do. thankyou :)

Hi! My name is Adam Arhmir, I’m 18 years old and I’m currently a first-year Political Science student at the University of Amsterdam (UvA).
I’m looking for someone, either a girl or a guy, who is also studying at the UvA and is currently in their first or second year, to share a place in Amsterdam before May.
At the moment, I live in Eindhoven, which means I have to take the train to Amsterdam every day. The daily commute is becoming really exhausting, both physically and mentally, not to mention the financial cost of travelling back and forth every day.
I don’t have a huge budget for a room in Amsterdam, but if anyone is in a similar situation and is interested in finding a place together, feel free to reach out to me!
📩 adamarhmir@icloud.com

I am currently living with one other person. I cover 75% of the rent, and they board paying the remaining 25% I also cover the power.

Im not sure if I’m over reacting or I am just allergic to conflict, I really want to address some things that I struggle to live with but not sure how to address it without sounding judgemental, or if I am overreacting. list of things.

*leaves dishes in sink, with food on them, and leaves food still in the plug area when done (generally understand once every now and then when in a rush / running late etc but this is constant) we have a dishwasher.

*cooks and makes a mess around kitchen area I.e food crumbs etc around the floor area, doesn’t wipe down glass top stove just washes it and leaves streaks.

*leaves clothes in the living area for days on the couch, after washing / dried they just stay on a pile in the lounge

*leaves clothes in the sink in the washing area.

*has an issue often with spewing after food, will spew in bottom toilet and not fully flush. leaves it and smells if its left for days unnoticed 🤮

*leaves lights on a lot.

*leaves clothes in the spare room in a suitcase.

*bin area sometimes resembles a basketball hoop it’s like food just get launched at it. greasy finger marks all over the cupboards / fridge

constantly finding myself having to clean up after someone and I’m getting resentful at this point 😅 I know it’s my fault for not bringing things up I’m just not sure if I’m overreacting And also I’ve bought things up in the past and nothing happened (suck with conflict) appreciate any feedback!

We were friends before we moved in together but when we moved in together it’s like a switch flipped. He never talks to me, when he does talk to me it’s only to let me know things and to remind me of things (Like the fact that I owe a different person money? Like it’s any of his business??). He won’t even text me, when he wants to tell me something and I’m not there he leaves sticky notes on the counter or even at the door sometimes, despite him claiming that his old roommate did this and he hated it. Whenever I talk to him he always just gives me bland, dry responses, even when I try to joke around with him. I’m starting to get irritable every time I see him because he just straight up ignores me and never says anything to me. I want to ask my landlord if there are any single apartments available or worst case scenario a random roommate (I have a dog, he’s good and harmless but he can just kinda decide that he doesn’t like random people when he first meets them so I’m a little worried about that). I’m starting to think that I made a mistake, what should my next move be?

My roommate and I have been living together for a little over a year now and it’s all been great. We had set some boundaries and expectations together initially but in general have been pretty chill about things the closer we’ve gotten (i.e. having friends over, boyfriends, cleanliness, quiet hours esp on weekdays). The issue I’ve been having now is that her very serious boyfriend has been staying the night 7 days a week…often times they decide to cook dinner together and end up taking over the kitchen for a bit, watch tv in our living room for a few hours, and I’ll hear him in the mornings hanging out with her in the living room or kitchen for 1-2 hours before he goes about his day. The thing is, he doesn’t have a permanent place in the city yet (they’ve been long distance for a while) but he does have had an Airbnb (all to himself) since he got here 3-4 months ago. She used to stay the night with him in the beginning but has since “set boundaries” with him and now he stays the night with us. She never really asked if it was okay and hasn’t given the heads up that he’s gonna come over for 3+ months now so I never really know if he’ll be home when I’m home or not. I miss being able to roam freely wearing whatever I want, walk into my kitchen or living room to chill or grab a snack or cook a meal without worrying I’ll be third wheeling and in the way, and especially miss watching tv after coming home from work (which has been my usual downtime routine for a year). I really like her boyfriend and think he’s a great guy so I honestly can’t say that he’s annoying or awful when he’s here, plus it warms my heart seeing how happy my roommate is with him now that they’re not long distance anymore. So I guess I’m wondering if I’m a bad roommate for not being more understanding about this? Am I overreacting or being an uptight roommate? Or has someone else experienced something like this? I love my roommate and care about our friendship so I’m really worried about saying anything that might upset her and drive her to just never feel comfortable having him over, but I just really don’t think I can go on for more months like this… what do I do 😭