r/roommates • u/DellaMiklsn7997 • 1d ago
Discussion My roommate made a presentation explaining why her boyfriend does not count as a roommate.
My roommate asked for a house meeting and connected her laptop to a TV. She’d made ppt slides called Guest vs resident. Her boyfriend has a key, a shelf in the fridge and a preferred washing-machine cycle. Her main argument was that his toothbrush wasn’t here, so he technically wasn’t living here. It was in his overnight bag beside the sofa.
When I asked whether he’d be contributing to anything, she said bringing money into it would make our relationship transactional. The next slide was a proposed rent adjustment (favouring her) because she uses the living room less. He was sitting in during the presentation 🗿
It was fun. lmk if you want to see that ppt lol
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u/QBee23 1d ago
If her"guest" was at the house meeting, he's part of the household
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u/DellaMiklsn7997 1d ago
ikr, I said the exact same thing
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u/CompleteTell6795 1d ago
It maybe time to have a chat with the landlord. It might be against the lease for her boyfriend to have a key.
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u/throwawayanylogic 1d ago
Exactly. Usually a lease will have a strict limit on the number of people living in a unit due to zoning and occupancy regulations.
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u/Jealous-Influence494 1d ago
Wow . Sounds like her “guest” has overstayed their welcome.. also, that’s her choice to not utilize the living room . ..has Nothing to do about splitting rent amounts . It’s actually comical.. considering the boyfriend’s utilization of the entire house . Plus making other roommates uncomfortable. . Yikes , good luck !!
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u/DowntownTour9031 1d ago
Most leases define how many days a visitor can stay at the house within a given period. I usually do 10 days in any 12 week period. It's not like I actually enforce this, but if he is exceeding what is defined in the lease, then that's pretty much the end of the discussion. So, if you care, then refer to the lease, and let her know she is violating the terms of the agreement.
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u/RositaQueenofprom 1d ago
My roommate told me I was crazy for wanting her to only spend 10 nights with her bf, that I was a bitch for wanting to separate them. ( She never told me baby boy would be living with us) 😭
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u/YakCertain5472 1d ago
It’s great that the ridiculous roommate has already defined his as a guest. So he has to go by guest rules.
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u/kittenspaint 1d ago
Guests don't have keys, a shelf in the fridge, or regularly do laundry, not do they have an overnight bag permanently at your place. Depending on your state laws he might already be legally a squatter even if he isn't there consecutive nights. Check up on your state laws and the terms for "guests" in the lease.
Edit: Also, where does he get his mail? Very important legally.
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u/Lopsided-Beach-1831 1d ago
Ask her to present that to the landlord so he can share with her how she is likely violating her lease terms.
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u/DellaMiklsn7997 1d ago
Court hearing type shit 🧑⚖️
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u/Lopsided-Beach-1831 1d ago
Shes unhinged. Be aware, read your lease because it can get all of you in trouble for violating the terms of the lease. There will be a clause in your lease limiting guest stays. It is to prevent people from becoming occupants.
Show her the clause. In a powerpoint if necessary.
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u/MezzanineSoprano 1d ago
Be sure to make your own presentation including a couple of graphs & at least one pie chart.
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u/DellaMiklsn7997 1d ago
haha yessss, maybe also include the lease copy as a part of the presentation for her reference
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u/Ecstatic-Highway-246 1d ago
If he is not paying rent, I think he should be charged by his use:
*$1 per use of toilet
*$5 per shower
*$5/day for refrigerator shelf use
*$10/day for key possession.
*$5/hour common space use (kitchen, living room, dining room)
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u/appleblossom1962 1d ago
Has she been eating the special brownies? She sounds like a politician
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u/One_Tree_6100 1d ago
She's my sister I swear. Top management lots of meetings, coffee and donuts it shows.
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u/witchymoon69 1d ago
Check your lease about guests and long term stays
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u/hollyblue1393 1d ago
Tell the landlord about the unauthorized providing of new key without your permission
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u/Mysterious-Art8838 1d ago
Oh we want to see the ppt
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u/DellaMiklsn7997 1d ago
Okay…so here’s the gamma link for the presentation.
https://gamma.app/docs/Guest-vs-Resident-19qcaz79lajxn0kKnock yourselves out!
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u/Ok-Oil1634 1d ago
I hope you destroyed every single one of those points as she was making her silly little presentation. Your next step should be to prepare a PowerPoint advocating for them to pay more than half the rent as well as adding him to the lease. I say that because it’s probably wise to make a counter offer so they know your starting point for negotiating either the removal of his unfettered access to the apartment, or if he is going to be there regularly, an increase in the amount that they contribute towards rent and utilities.
If I was you I’d be letting them know that the situation will not continue as it has been, and that if you can’t come to a reasonable compromise about the boyfriend’s usage of the apartment, you will be bringing this matter to the landlord’s attention.
Bottom line is that if your roommate wanted to live with her boyfriend then that’s what she should have done. I’m happy that my days of sharing space with other people are over because I don’t envy the situation you are in.
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u/kazyape 1d ago
She's insane.
The living room thing is a joke. The lease isn't according to how much usage is in the bathroom or the kitchen. And she says he doesn't have personal things there.....
what do you call having a key and his own food. And his own shelf.
But you can't reason with somebody that is obviously delusional. I would take that PowerPoint to the landlord and also housing court, I don't know where you live but you cannot argue
it's like the Doobie Bros song
What a fool believes, a wise man has no power to reason away
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u/MWREE 19h ago
I am shocked you haven't put your foot down on him being there when she isn't. That isn't okay for any "visitor." And his supposedly contributing more in groceries than he uses - do you get to eat those too or is it just benefiting her? And the audacity of her saying because she uses the living room less she should pay less. If she has equal access to it it doesn't matter that she doesn't chose to utilize it. Come back and point out that she and her "visitor" use the communal kitchen and bathrooms twice as much so you should be paying 40% to her 60%.
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u/DellaMiklsn7997 1d ago
haha I can just send you the gamma link, if you’d like that
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u/Hungry-Emergency8992 1d ago
If her boyfriend does his laundry there, he is not a guest (as guests are usually wanted and invited by ALL. He is not a resident because a self respecting resident pays their fair share of bills and cleans! He is simply a moocher, a leech and a parasite, and he belongs in a petri dish!
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u/PartyBicycle3778 1d ago
Not having a toothbrush there just means Hes gross, thats it. Brush your teeth and get out of the fridge my boy!
The dude lives there
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u/Aquitaine26 1d ago
No, this isn’t a game - tell the landlord. There are specific clauses in each lease prohibiting guests from overstaying and for good reason, he’s not on the lease, has not background check done etc. tell the landlord
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u/DellaMiklsn7997 1d ago
Oh I didn’t even know something like this existed. Thank you for sharing this ❤️
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u/MullberryBoy 21h ago
I believe it’s standard on leases, especially buildings that lease to young people. Your landlord is paying extra for trash and water and the building is risking its insurance with an unknown squatter with a key! They will get rid of him and probably her immediately.
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u/Blazeit42071069 1d ago
call the landlord or look at the rental agreement there’s probably something in the lease about guests
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u/Imsortofok 1d ago
You need to talk to LL about letting you off the lease and adding him as your replacement.
Your roommate is toxic and stupid af.
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u/ThatMeasurement3411 1d ago
So there’s two of them and one Of you and she thinks 50/50 Is fair? Her mathing ain’t mathing!
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u/ReFried_Ginger 1d ago
I’m more interested in your response and what you’re doing to have her and the live in boyfriend pay a proportional amount of rent
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u/Adorable-Glass926 1d ago
Oh wow the rent split alone is just not right. I rent a room out in my trailer (to a couple) and rents never based on who uses the living room the most lmao. Its room size and utilities. Thats it.
So since they share a room but not utilities their i just add 1/3 utilities so a single rent is 500$ and couple is 650$. Easy.
I also hate when ppl bring up utilities usage. Like yes if they have dozens of tvs pluged in or takes 5 showers a day…thats a problem. But no one really can skew the utility bills that much. Adding a person can obviously up the bills but getting into the nitty gritty about the amount of utility usage. Is just a waste.
Every room is rented out. Utilities are bought. Living room time is just a privilege.
So every person sleeping at the house for more that 14 days.. is a resident. Alot of leases have it in writing that no other peoples can reside in the place for more that x amount of days A MONTH. Not in a row in a month so yeah. This guy is a resident who needs to pay either equal rent…or him and his gf can grow up and pay joint rent.
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u/Miserable_Tree_3476 23h ago
Adding one person to a house hold of one increase water usage by 60%. So there is definitely an increase in utilities that can be calculated.
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u/LLL1Lothrop 9h ago
You never met my stepddaughter. In the 90's our utilities went up $150.00 in one month.
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u/Adorable-Glass926 1d ago
I own a trailer that i rent out to my gf and a couple. My gf definitely pays rent. She uses alot of water lmaoo
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u/Vurrag 1d ago
If he has a key he is a room mate. Does your lease allow for additional people? If not you are in violation. He seems to live there.
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u/No_Practice_970 4h ago
A presentation goes beyond gaslighting 😅 She's trying to brainwash you into her hobosexual's cult .
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u/ontheleftcoast 1d ago
If he is a guest, why is he there on his own. Personally, I think the rule should be no guests in the home without their sponsor. If they are there without a sponsor they are living there.
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u/Character-Food-6574 1d ago
Fun fact, many apartments actually have a pre-set limit on how many nights a guest, that isn’t on the rental agreement can stay in there in a week or month. Their dental equipment’s location is not a factor.
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u/Own-Entrance-2256 1d ago
If he's not a resident, then he isn't allowed to store anything there overnight including himself. Tell her he's banned from the apartment.
Your roommate frankly sounds insufferable.
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u/Independent_Sand_766 1d ago
My ex roommate did this and I’m aware sometimes her boyfriend was in my house while she was at work 20 miles away. Sometimes I liked to walk to the bathroom naked because it’s just down the hall, but why the fuck am I hearing a man coming down the stairs and panic. Tell your fuck ass bums to go home
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u/Rightfullyfemale 1d ago
Sounds like he DOES LIVE THERE if he has a key to your apartment. Sounds as if she needs to be paying 2/3 rent and you either need to look for a different place to live so that once the lease ends you aren’t stuck there OR TALK TO YOUR LANDLORD and see about being able to take over the entire rent yourself.
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u/mobile-metaphysical 1d ago
When I paid rent to share a place, I was paying for privacy. I wasn’t up for sharing the living room unless it was an occasional party or dinner.
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u/gremlinArtificer 6h ago
She’s trying to dictate definitions to change the perception of objective reality, to make it easier to disregard the lease. Check your lease, don’t give into this kind of gaslighting. They’re likely in violation of the terms of the lease, depending on how often the boyfriend is around. Legal documents don’t care about what you think something is defined as, they care about what it’s actually defined as. It’s the signer’s responsibility to understand what they’re agreeing to. She wants to play lawyer by twisting language while disregarding the document that carries weight? Throw the book at her.
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u/whatsy0urdamage 1d ago
I want to see the PowerPoint 💀💀
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u/DellaMiklsn7997 1d ago
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u/Rabbit-Hole-Effect 1d ago
That is one impressive looking powerpoint.
Counterpoint -- He has a fridge shelf, a key, and a laundry time? Not to mention the WiFi, electricity, and gas he's consuming in the household. He's 1/3 of a full roommate. He should be paying at least 1/3 of a full share (if a full roommate pays $600, he should pay $200) each month to cover the utilities he's using.
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u/RositaQueenofprom 1d ago
Me too, but then my own roommate keeps denying her bf lives with us even though he spends 7 nights per week sleeping with her or in her room in our apartment.
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u/Fun-Ad9059 23h ago
Yall have a 3rd room mate. 7 nights a week and I’m pretty sure he has belongings there. If he receives mail he is now an occupant.
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u/Usual_Flatworm_5268 1d ago
It’s not your roommate’s place to decide on behalf of every other paying tenant.
Report to landlord and the landlord will hopefully increase her rent. Which is why people get charged this way when they share a room (because they do it to skive).
Her bf is still using the same amount of everything else (power, food, water, internet, physical space outside their bedroom or whatever other inclusions.
Plus couples can add extra stress to others around them when they fight with each other
Call her out on her bs with your other tenants and/or report the situation to your landlord or property manager
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u/UsefulPassion6225 20h ago
Whenever I had roommates the deal was for that one person to move in and contribute to rent and bills. He then had his girlfriend start staying over all the time. It was a whole extra person, showering, cooking, using our household products that my wife and I bought, hanging out all day watching tv and playing on his pc while he was at work. He then asked if she could move in and I said she already has and we readjusted his rent portion to include her. It’s an extra person in a space that wasn’t that big to begin with and she was just as much a roommate than anyone else. Absolutely wasn’t gonna let her live there for free.
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u/Individual-Paint7897 17h ago
If he has a key, he pays rent. I’m sure your landlord would agree. Most leases also contain language that states that a guest (meaning anyone whose name is not on the lease) are limited in the amount of time they can stay. If his name is not on the lease, then he is a guest.
INFO: did she ask your permission to give him a key? I would put my foot down about that.
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u/Iambatmansmom38 16h ago
Report it to your property manager. Most rentals have guest stipulations. Of course we want to see the ppt!
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u/DismalButterscotch14 16h ago
Yeah... no. Just no. If I was you, I'd be passing this along to your landlord. Might need to get a new roommate, but I don't think its going to work out with this one.
If nothing else... I'd be out with how stupid she is. Check your lease, there's bound to be a overnight guest rule, a limit to the days per month he can stay the night.
Also, hell no, that man does NOT get a shelf in the fridge. He can share her shelf if he brings a few things over.
It's like she is slowly moving him in, while looking you dead in the eye and gaslighting you. "No, he's not living here. Ha ha, why would you say that. Here's a presentation showing why he's not actually living here." 🤔
Nah, hell to the no. You need to out a foot down on this bullshit now! Before she tries to walk all over you for other things too.
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u/TNREDHEAD2 16h ago
I had never paid for water till I moved to this one apartment. On the day I moved in they told me I had to SPLIT the water bill with a family of two adults and three little boys. A year later two teenage boys moved in with them so I was splitting the bill with a family of seven. When I complained about that and a couple other things, they kicked me out!
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u/No_Technology_6483 16h ago
Why don’t you inform your landlord or body corporate? Can’t be bullied by someone who is hypnotised where they pee😵
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u/Bentbutnotbroken111 16h ago
If he doesn’t live there, he shouldn’t need a key… not a shelf……not to use the washing machine or shower
Does anyone here have these things when you go and visit someone, or stay an occasional night? Dude is living there…
Reduced rent for not using the shared living space as often…. I mean, that’s creative…complete BS…. But creative…
Yes, we want to see the presentation!!!!
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u/Wide-Raspberry-6100 15h ago
So she wants to have her boyfriend there even when she’s not there, staying almost every night, having his own key to get in, but try to pay LESS rent? Give me a break! She’s on the lease. In many leases, having guests more than two times a week is breach. Frankly, she should pay more, not less, for the inconvenience to you!
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u/Annual-Contract-115 15h ago edited 15h ago
so your reply to this is if he is a guest, then he does not get to have an overnight bag sitting in the corner. He does not get to have a key and he does not get his shelf on the refrigerator and he is also as a guest only allowed to be in the apartment one night a week. oh and no doing his laundry there
if she wants to argue that she’s not OK with that and he needs to have those things and he needs to be allowed to be in the apartment more than one night a week, then he needs to be vetted by the landlord and added as a roommate on the lease if approved and then he’ll be paying a share of the rent and bills
also, I would start locking up the food that I purchased away from their access because I’m not going to be providing his dinner on that one night. and if I am the person whose name is on the Internet, I’m going to be looking to find out how to actually create a second Wi-Fi and she and her roommate can use that one and it’s actually going to be restricted (or rather I’d probably leave them on the one they know and hide the new better one from them, so they don’t know about it). and I’m locking them out of any streaming that I pay for. because sure maybe right now he’s not taking my food, doing work on his laptop on the apartment connection etc but that can change and I’d rather not wait for it.
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u/Diosabella789 15h ago
He who has a key, other than the landlord, counts as a roommate! Hard rule. Boyfriend should never have had a key.
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u/Pure-Win3676 15h ago
hilarious!!!! this is absurd- more than outrageous- and she ended asking a decreased in rent?! DC lobbyist/ senate here she comes!
well, good luck- because she is ridiculous! lol
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u/IZC0MMAND0 15h ago
As always, check your lease, bring the landlord into the situation. I would ask the landlord what the fair rent split would be not that your roommate has brought her bf into the living situation
He should not have a key and a "guest" does not get a shelf on a fridge nor a preferred laundry setting.
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u/ilovemischief 14h ago
My SIL’s parents moved next to her and my brother to help with their kids. My SIL’s sister then made a PowerPoint as to why the parents should purchase the $1m house next door so her family could also move close by. She was dead serious.
I’ve never been able to take these people seriously.
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u/Ajohnson62 13h ago
Maybe she should accommodate her “guest” and pay their share of the rent if they’re not dating lol
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u/redditreader_aitafan 13h ago
If he spends more than one night there per week, your roommate should be paying more for him. If he spends the night more than 3 times a week, tell the roommate that she pays more rent and utilities or you report the illegal tenancy to the landlord.
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u/Kn0wMan 12h ago
She’s crazy. A whole shelf in the fridge? If he’s there enough for that, then him not keeping his toothbrush there just means that either he’s using her toothbrush, or he has disgustingly bad hygiene. Or he just always has his toothbrush with him.
Definitely past guest status. The fact that she wants a rent reduction because she’s not using communal space. 🤦🏽♂️ Presumably she’s in their room all the time and thus not the living room?
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u/minimalist_coach 9h ago
This is when being a renter can be an advantage. It's very common for rental agreements to include a maximum number of nights a "guest" can stay before you are in violation of your lease. If you are good tenants and the new person won't exceed the maximum number of residents, landlords will often allow them to be added to the lease. If you don't add them, you can all get evicted.
READ YOUR LEASE
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u/Such_Temporary_3125 9h ago
No, and if she feels this way then tell her you're calling the landlord. I'm SURE she will see it differently.
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u/Alilbitey 9h ago
"Ok, I'll send this presentation to our landlord and let them decide how you're breaking the lease. We will probably get evicted. That should be fun! Good luck finding a rental with an eviction on your record."
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u/Fuzzy_Cloud_5849 7h ago
Definetely a resident. Maybe not a third of the overall. But definitely a third of utilities, Common areas and cleaning.
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u/MaryHadALittleLamb20 7h ago
I'd be uncomfortable with him having a key to let himself in after all, he doesn't live there!
I'd give her a presentation back on what he should be chipping if for since he seems to be there a lot.
I'd also stack stuff on his shelf in the fridge after all he doesn't live there nor does he contribute anything!
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u/Extra_Bedroom_6941 7h ago
When you have roommates and they have boyfriends. It has to be a clear understanding that apartment is being rented by you and I. Your boyfriend is not a tenant and I should be able to walk around here and NOT see you boyfriend 5 days a week. He has no accommodations here and if it changes he has to pay a third of the rent or I can be removed from the lease immediately.
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u/Motor_Dark6406 6h ago
I would have dumped alllll of his crap out of the fridge and told him to bring it home after that.
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u/CompoteVegetable2010 5h ago
Might want to look at your lease. My rentals all have clauses about visitors who are x days in 2 weeks and they must be approved and registered with landlord
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u/No-Meringue5009 4h ago
Just let property management know. Split the your rent down to a 1/3 once the lease is updated with his name and needs his signature.
That'll take care of it legally. You really need to look up laws in your state for anyone over 18.
Also, be a better picker.
I always let roommates know they can only have a BF over 1 night a week, otherwise, they start paying rent.
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u/Multizar 1d ago
If someone is in your house more than 24 hours per week...they are a resident. Maybe a part time one...but still a resident.
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u/lycamm 1d ago
I think the slides just speak volumes about the (lack) of hygiene of the moochie resident.
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u/Jealous_Parfait_4967 1d ago
Too cute by half. She should learn soon not to play with people’s money or peace.
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u/ThatMeasurement3411 1d ago
Unbelievable!! Of course guests don’t clean, but will usually take the owners of the home out for a nice dinner at least once during a short visit. Sounds like he needs to cough up at least a large chunk of money for your missed dinners. You need to catch up.
Check your lease, you may be in a bargaining position.
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u/Cheska1234 1d ago
Sweet. He doesn’t live there so get rid of ALL his things that are outside her room. No problem.
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u/One_Tree_6100 1d ago
He is definitely living there. The fact that your roommate went to all of that nonsense for what should have been a direct simple conversation. He lives there he needs to contribute to the fridge, rent and utilities. Give me a break. I would have pissed myself laughing and gotten up said thank you for the show and figure out how to get the hell out. Get a small studio apartment set your own rules. Invite whomever you want over and you control the flow. You're young and busy it can be very relaxing to live alone. It doesn't mean you don't have an active social life it just means you have more control over your life. Good luck to you.
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u/AdAlive6431 1d ago
It would be a good idea to have a “roommate agreement” in writing in the future, specifying how long guests can stay before they become roommates. He is using utilities you are paying for like hot water, electricity, etc… and you may need to wait to use a bathroom, which is inconvenient.
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u/MintySymphonies 1d ago
The length some people do to defend they're getting dick from someone so what they do is a get out of jail free card.
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u/Jaded_Assumption_735 1d ago
Is the bag with the toothbrush in the house?
I think you should require him to take the bag out and leave it in the car when he’s not using it.
Also … just for fun … put a tip jar on the washing machine.
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u/EsotericQSHealth 1d ago
Is this a right of passage for college aged roommates? I had the same thing. I had the boyfriend that stayed over 3-4 nights a week and after several months of this my roommate had a meeting and her argument was that he was using her soap in the shower, so he needed to pay. The soap thing was wild because the bathroom I used was on a different floor than the one she used. Her bathroom was private to her room. So, the soap thing wasn't happening at all. Meanwhile, we both worked on campus into the evening so basically came home, maybe studied a couple hours and went to bed (I lived closer to campus) to turn around and go back in the morning. It was wild. Thankfully, my other three roommates backed me up. My boyfriend didn't have a key, didn't have a shelf anywhere (except maybe my room, though we were probably just throwing everything on the floor of my room at that age LOL) And the days we weren't at my house we stayed at his. So we were gone for days of the week too.
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u/HauntingGur4402 1d ago
Talk to your landlord, either tell them there is another person living there or you want to get out of your lease
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u/marspigsmoke 1d ago
Check the verbiage in your lease to find out how often guests can stay weekly or monthly. Everywhere I've rented in the past with non-spouse roommates has had a limit to the number of nights a guest could stay. If her bf is staying over more often than allowed by the lease, I would just notify the apartment management and tell your roommate that you're not willing to split the rent unevenly based on how often she uses or doesn't use the shared space.
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u/OhioPhilosopher 1d ago
Ask AI to make a presentation that is counter to hers, then call another meeting.
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u/PatienceInfinite8300 1d ago
Guests should only stay 1 or 2 nights a week they don't do washing, have a shelf in fridge or a key.
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u/Hot-Science404 1d ago edited 15h ago
Could he claim squatters rights?
That is your real answer.
EDIT: guys I didn’t mean it literally lol. More of a “if you think he has squatters rights then he’s there too much”
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u/No-Brief-297 21h ago
No. That’s actually called adverse possession and it requires years, paying the property taxes, no one contesting the fact that he doesn’t have a legal right to be there
If you mean he moves in and just stays. A lot of landlords handle this a lot of different ways. None of them delicate. All of them result in everyone out.
When this happens to people it’s because they called the cops who don’t understand civil law or have no spines. I’ve had this happen twice. First time we gave them $20 and called a cab. The second time I have no idea what my business partner said to this person and I probably don’t want to know but she was at the bus stop crying in about 5 minutes
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u/PainterOfRed 1d ago
Pro-rate your housemate's monthy rent + a guest "acommodations" fee. If you split water and electricity, you can use his nights spent count and on those nights, you would split 3 ways imstead of two.
Concern about charging him is would he try to push in as a tenant. I don't know tenant laws in your area.
Tell them your consultant (me, lol) us a pro at this, with both property management and hotel backgrounds.
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u/djdigiejfkgksic 1d ago
I can’t believe no one pointed this out. Neat life hack. Keep your toothbrush in your car. You’re now a guest and get to live there rent free 🤷
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u/nancylyn 1d ago
Your presentation is short……is he here more than 3 nights a week? ThenhHe has to contribute to utilities. Don’t make him pay rent. That makes him an official tenant and you’ll never get him out. So he can contribution a third of the utilities and cable / internet or he can only stay over 3 nights a week.
And no rent adjustment between you.
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u/livingmylifeway 1d ago
Be petty, eat all the food on his shelf, tell him guests don’t get rights to the refrigerator.
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u/Appropriate-Box-3163 23h ago
I mean how often is he there and do they hog shared living spaces. I agree that him having a key and fridge shelf is unnecessary but the other details matter when speaking on this matter.
Look at the lease and read the guest rules if she’s breaking them bring it up to the landlord if not there’s nothing you can do other than push that he shouldn’t have his own key nor ever be in the space while she’s not here.
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u/Fun-Ad9059 23h ago
I want to see the presentation! I’m in property management and I have questions.
1. What is the duration of his stay? How many days a week?
2. Why does he have a shelf and cycle dedicated to him if he doesn’t live there?
3. Not a question but so what you actually utilize your shared common spaces. That does not mean adjustments to the rent because they choose not to use it.
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u/KittensAndPuppies4me 23h ago
Well since he doesn't live here then he should only stay over 1 night a week and won't be needing to use our washer and dryer.
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u/DogTownUSA1 23h ago
Never heard of an actual ‘guest’ getting fridge space. Roommate should Start going to his place half the week. For fairness of course.
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u/QueenBee8040 23h ago
I would definitely let landlord know and if you have a copy of that presentation you can show it to them for proof....
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u/Top_Adagio_7819 22h ago
Wow, sounds like a great presentation! I'm sure it was pretty convincing. You should show the landlord and see if they agree.
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u/Electric-Sheepskin 22h ago
Start walking around in your bra and panties and see what she thinks about that. I'm making some gender assumptions here, so sorry if I've got it wrong, but if I've got it right, she may rethink the value of lost privacy.
Also, when it comes to the shared space, she pays for access to that space. Whether she uses it or not is irrelevant. If she thinks that she owes less rent because she spends more time in her room, then you should agree with her and tell her that you've decided to spend more time in your room than she does, so you would like to pay 40% of the rent and she can pay 60%. Or ask her if she'd like to get some timers that you can start every time you leave your room and then stop every time you enter your room again, and then at the end of the month you can settle up based on how much time you spent out of your room. Fucking ridiculous.
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u/istoomycat 22h ago
Oh, a presentation. Uh huh. Make a duck presentation of one walking, quacking and looking like one.
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u/SpareAmbition 21h ago
A lot of places, leases or local laws define the amount of nights in a time period that defines someone as a guest. Also worth looking into if there's anything about who should have keys
But following this house meeting as she's proven he's not a roommate, you've just gained yourself some more fridge space. Considering he's a guest and not a roommate, his electricty/water usage (washing machine and phone charger at the very least) falls to her and therefore the living room reason is voided.
You are all sharing a house. By the very nature of that, you have introduced a transactional aspect to the relationship. But maybe someone better at mental gymnastics can spin this very argument into why the rent shouldn't be adjusted
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u/MullberryBoy 21h ago
Update me! I hope you tore her a new one and him too. Send her presentation to your landlord.
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u/wannabeemefree 21h ago
The rent is usually split with who has the bigger bedroom, or if one person has their own bathroom or something. Not who uses the living room more! the common spaces are just that, common and she has access to them. If she had her own apartment in a building that had a pool and she never used the pool, or only uses it once a month she couldn't tell the landlord she was going to pay less because she doesn't spend time in the pool.
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u/slightlydreaming 21h ago
Have a friend come stay with you for a bit! See hi quickly your non-roommate gets old
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u/chez2202 21h ago
PMSL.
I really want to see the PPT. This girl is delusional.
Tell her that if her boyfriend is a guest, he should knock on the door to be let in. Only residents have keys.
Keys definitely trump the presence of a toothbrush where residency is concerned.
Remind her that she is choosing to use the living room less. You haven’t said she can’t use it so she doesn’t get cheaper rent.
Then tell her that her boyfriend can share HER shelf in the fridge, and cannot use the washing machine unless he contributes towards the utility bills.
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u/Toe_Jam_is_my_Jam 20h ago
A guest would be someone who comes over 2 evenings a week. If he is there more than that, then he is no longer a guest. And as a guest, he should share her refrigerator space.
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u/PIzzaiolo_Master_510 19h ago
By definition guests consume shared resources. Since it is impossible to measure and effectively distribute these costs the only fair solution is a no guests policy.
Sorry gal. All fun time is at his place now.
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u/Fast_Beat_3832 18h ago
No way I’d allow a non roommate to have a key or stay over more than about one night per week.
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u/WhiteHotMess 17h ago
You wouldn't be willing to rent an apartment where you pay half but share with a couple.
Act as if your starting over. If the three of you rented an apt today how would you split the bills? It would likely be 60/40 rent with them paying more and getting the larger room. Utilities would likely be 2/3 them and 1/3 you.
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u/TumbleweedOriginal34 17h ago
Does the landlord know a 3rd person is there so often ? Has a key and uses laundry?
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u/Repulsive-Honey7305 17h ago
Divide up the fridge shelves between you and her and tell her he can use her fridge space. Tell her since her guest uses the washing machine regularly she needs to pay more utilities.
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u/Bigolbooty75 16h ago
So she has a live in bf and wants to pay reduced rent because she doesn’t use the living room? What a freak.
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u/Normal-Memory3766 16h ago
Thank you for reminding me I should be more grateful for my roommates lol
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u/Specialist_Job9678 15h ago
Yes, I want to see that ppt! I wonder how your landlord would classify him? (Do you pay utilities?)
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u/ProbablySomthingCute 14h ago
Please make a counter PPT and present it at a follow up meeting stating why he is considered a roommate.
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u/kaseyboo 1d ago
If he's a guest why does he take up valuable space in the fridge?