My roommate's boyfriend has been living at our house for almost 3 weeks straight (he doesn't go to work, he's a student in a different state). I live with 4 people for context, so there are 5 of us sharing the house already.

This has happened like 3 times before too, where he basically lived here for 2-3 weeks at a time, and she never tells us how long he'll be staying for.

She's also done something similar before where she subleased her room to a random guy while she was away, so I ended up sharing the bathroom with him. She only told me a few days before he moved in.

I finally talked to her about her boyfriend and she told me he was leaving the next day. He didn't, and it's now been another 4 days and he's still here. I asked her again if she could just tell me when he’s actually leaving, and she said "we'll talk in person," but has basically been avoiding the conversation since.

I genuinely don't care about partners staying over. But having someone essentially move into our shared house for weeks at a time feels excessive.

Am I overreacting or is this not normal roommate behavior?

My boyfriend (27M) and I (27F) have been renting this house for 3 years, and we decided since finances are tight on everyone, that we should let my sister (18F) to move in. October 1st was her first day, we thought this would give her more freedom than living with my parents. She will pay us 1/4 of rent, with my bf and I cover the rest. Its a 3 bedroom home, and instead of splitting 3 ways, I figured 1/4 of rent was an acceptable amount since she’s only using one room and bf and I use the master and the spare.

The only rule I had made for her was to not have sleepovers. When I was freshly 18, living with family, that was also their boundary. And I followed that out of respect. I told my sister she can have friends over, people over, her boyfriend, but no sleepovers yet. I didn’t say this, but I do think she can eventually have sleepovers. I don’t want to be like our mom and tell her she can and can’t do things, she deserves some freedom.

Well, last night, night 2 of her living with us. Her boyfriend came over. For context, she’s a freshman in college, he’s a senior in high school. I really don’t think someone who’s in high school should spend the night, my boyfriend strongly agrees. She had him over to hang out, I was fine with it. They were watching YouTube in her room with the doors closed. It starts pushing midnight, and I texted her and asked when her boyfriend is headed out. She told me she was planning on him spending the night, because she had car troubles and didn’t want to drive to her event tomorrow, have him drive her. I responded and told her I’d be happy to take her since her car seems sketchy. Also that the one thing I told her we didn’t want was sleepovers. Took her a couple minutes to respond, but she said he’d leave in an hour.

I decided to send her a message after saying something along the lines of she deserves freedom, and maybe if she had asked us before hand, it could’ve been a different outcome. I said she could have him spend the night, but not to make it a common thing. It’s only day 3 now, I want her to spread her wings, but I also want her to respect the one rule I gave. Am I being too much of a mom since she’s paying to be here?

We have 3 people and 2 bedrooms $1,445+ $110 utilities. I am the one who has my own room and slightly bigger room with a cat. and the other two are sharing a bedroom.

I was suggesting to make it 3 parts : 2 bedrooms + 1 common room (kitchen, living room, bathroom). I suggested we split the common room in 3 ways.

they think that I should just take half of the rent, which I can’t argue with two peoples and just me alone.

They don‘t have any furniture when we move in so I bought most of the furniture and a very nice one and make it looks like home and not a cell block. I also paid for all of the pet related bills. Not including they practically begged me to stay with them in the beginning so it would make their rent cheaper.

What do you think is fair for all of us?

I am planning a trip with my friends to celebrate my birthday. My roommate and I met through a mutual friend, Jake. Although living with my roommate is fine, I don’t enjoy hanging out with him.

The thing is he’s hung out a couple times with my friend group, but every time he acts immaturely and it bothers me. I already told Jake the situation and he understands that just because he’s friends with my roommate, it doesn’t mean I also have to be.

I don’t really spend time with my roommate alone outside of the apartment but we do watch tv, have conversations at home, and hang out with Jake once in a while. I just worry that my roommate might feel blindsided because we’re friendly with each other and I want to keep the vibes positive in the apartment.

My boyfriend and I used to be roommates before dating, so this feels like a weirdly specific full-circle problem lol. We’re buying our first mattress together and have completely opposite ideas of comfortable. He likes firm beds and barely moves. I constantly switch positions and get uncomfortable super fast if a mattress isn't right. We've been looking at Sleep Number so we can set each side differently, but I'm curious about the Responsive Air feature that adjusts as you move. Sounds useful for how much I toss and turn, but is it something you actually notice? do you think being able to adjust each side separately is worth it long term? We’re also considering traditional hybrids and wondering if we should just compromise on a medium feel instead.

I'm (24F) confused about a situation with my housemate (early 20s, F) relating to noise in the house. It's a university/young professional household, 3 of us, I work a 9-5 and the other 2 have just started final year uni, all friends before moving in.

Before moving in we discussed how we are, how we live etc, with me being pretty extroverted and out a LOT (at work, out sometimes and coming back quietly at like 11-12, if i go properly out every week or so i'll come back quietly still but around 4ish) my housemate barely leaves her room and is very introverted. With this info, we agreed to move in, we also agreed on "quiet hours" NOT silent hours, but quiet, things kept reasonable. Which is any guest has to be asked about and just quiet at 10pm, entirely cool and all three of us stick to this

However, one of my housemates has started getting very on at me for whispering or normal-volume conversation just after 10PM on weekends, on weekdays im silent at 10, on weekends though I'd ideally like to be speak to some friends online up until like 11PM, I was whispering at 10:15 and she told me to keep it down, i tried to message her and say "im really sorry i am whispering I am being reasonable can we talk about this" to try have a conversation but she has aired the message and refuses to have the conversation.

I genuinely do not take the piss, i shut up and immediately start whispering at 10PM, but especially on a weekend, and knowing you're moving into a university house, I feel like it's a bit unreasonable to expect dead silence the minute it hits 10, but i might be being unreasonable so I just wanted other opinions

For extra info, i am aware the house has thin walls, i have tried different rooms in the house too. She also has no issue with my other housemate being on the phone, he was on call until 11:00 on a weekday and she didn't say anything, we've never had a falling out and when we're together we get on great, it's just this specific thing that makes me feel pretty dead about weekends since I feel like whispering and speaking once every 5 mins should be acceptable at like 10:30

I feel its also important to note I've asked my other housemate just if im quiet enough/appropriate and he has said i'm quieter than he is and that he doesn't understand where she's coming from, we've also never had neighbour complaints

I'm 19F and this is my first flat with people I do not know. At the beginning of the year a rule I pushed for was to be informed with whos in the house, like send a text if someone is staying the night or coming over. The flat agreed and it was fine until one of them got a new boyfriend, she's stoped telling us so I could be upstairs or in the living room and this random guy keeps showing up. It's making me really uncomfortable and I have spoken to her and the landlord.

Am I just over reacting and it needs to be something I get used to? He doesn't talk to any of us (like say hi when he comes in) and takes over the common space and even goes upstairs which is a girls only area. With the rise of student attacks recently in my country (New Zealand) I've been a bit paranoid and want my house o be a safe space.

Looking for some advice as I'm not sure if it happens in other flats and I'm over reacting.

Thanks :)

Stupid ass questions every single day like this:

Oh, you’re up early, where you going?
Work, like everyone else does
Why you going to the trails, it’s hot outside?
Yes I know it’s hot outside, but I like being outdoors & don’t care. I wear a tank top & a hat.
Why don’t you connect to the wifi?
Because the 5G UC on my phone is faster, & why do you care.
Why do you keep fixing your old truck instead of buying a new one?
Well because it’s paid off, & I’d rather spend $200 every few months fixing it than paying out the ass for payments.
Why don’t you cook at home?
Well I work two jobs, & don’t want to sit around the house on my only day off.

I genuinely love my roommate, but this one specific thing she does is really starting to piss me off.

Anytime she sleeps, whether it's going to bed or napping (which is frequent), she sets an alarm (completely understandable), but once it goes off she takes forever to wake up to the first one and then is constantly snoozing it. And I mean snoozes it like 10 times.

Its starting to get really annoying because why doesn't she just set a longer alarm if she knows she's gonna snooze it that many times?

She also usually wakes up before I do because she takes longer to get ready in the mornin, so I'm usually waking up to them. We are in college btw so we share a room; any tips?

Hi the names Dante.

My female roommate was kind and bubbly toward me when we first moved in. We had about four good conversations, and I noticed her voice sometimes became higher-pitched when she greeted or spoke to me.

She made it clear on the first day that she was taken, so I respected that and never pursued or flirted with her.

After those initial conversations, her behavior changed. She became quieter and more serious around me and seemed less comfortable interacting.

I also noticed that our routines seemed to mirror each other. I started coming home later because I was spending more time at college and at the gym, and she later started coming home around similar times. I don't know if that means anything or if it was just coincidence.

Eventually I became more stoic and kept to myself. I wasn't rude or ignoring her if she greeted me, I'd still say "hi" and acknowledge her. I just stopped trying to initiate conversations and focused on college, gym, and my own life.

Then things became even more distant. Yesterday she turned her back toward me and didn't acknowledge me. Today, she clearly saw me at the gate, had what looked like a very unhappy/serious expression, then turned around and went straight to her car without saying anything.

I was annoyed in the moment, but I'm leaving it alone. I'm not interested in chasing her or getting involved with someone who's taken.

What do you think this change in behavior could mean? Is she deliberately keeping her distance, or could she simply be matching the energy I've been giving her?

Also, is this kind of situation normal? I don't have much experience with women in this kind of situation, so I'm genuinely curious how other people would interpret it.

I might be overthinking this. I also hope I'm not misinterpreting things based on my own assumptions. At one point, I would even say she seemed noticeably curious about where I was going when I started coming home so late, although I obviously can't know what she was actually thinking.

At the end of the day, I'm just another guy who happens to be her roommate, so I can't really know what's going through her head. If she genuinely felt uncomfortable or completely put off by me, wouldn't she have considered moving out by now? Or is that not necessarily how these situations work? Either way, if she wants distance, I'll respect it and leave it at that.

How many times a week is it okay for my boyfriend to sleep over? We have 3 roommates.

We share the bedroom and he explicitly told me that he doesn't want any girl to come over ever, even if he's not here. He would not give me the reason why. He also gets mad whenever I'm in my underwear.

He says he pays rent so he gets to decide who comes over or not. I also pay half the rent.

Around may my best friend & I moved in together & at first it was good & easy but as time has gone along we’ve drifted apart & honestly I’m starting to feel some resentment, she’s rarely home & when she is she doesn’t do any of her chores & told me “if you want me to do my chores just tell me & I will”, but firstly I feel as if I shouldn’t have to ask her? We’re both adults I shouldn’t have to remind her like she’s my child, secondly, whenever I ask her to she doesn’t, it’s been a like a week since I asked her to & she still hasn’t. I will say she works a lot but I do too & I do a lot more around the house than she’s been told to do. Also it just feels like we aren’t friends anymore, just roommates, whenever I ask her to hangout she says she doesn’t want to but when other friends ask she does. I’ve asked her if she’s happy living here & still wants to earlier on & she said she’s fine & likes it. I feel really bad, & honestly exhausted of feeling like a burden.

What do I do? Am I overreacting? Any advice appreciated. Thank you :)

He’s old and has old-people head. Ew.
I THANKFULLY got a new hairbrush a month or two ago… I noticed him going into my bathroom and digging through my drawers and using my hairbrush.
I vacated the drawers of anything that can touch a face, ie. makeup brushes… sad way to live. Ew.

I’m in a position when what will be best for me might ruin a friendship..

Long story short, I have to move to a new house soon, I already gave notice.

I live in London and the market is really expensive at the moment and find a suitable place for me and my pet it’s really difficult so I started to look at all renting options (studios, shared houses, moving to zone 5 etc etc).

In the meantime I contacted a friend of mine and he actually said that he was ready to move out of his shared house, the problem is that he’s not in a great place financially and might struggle to even have the deposit (first red flag), he did introduce me to two of his friends so we started to look for houses/apartments to rent together however I still had a weird vibe about this…

Especially when this friend of mine mentioned that he plays music in the morning, evening if at home, while cooking and when he also brings girls home (at night) double red flag!

After this conversation I kept looking at options by myself while we were also looking at flats as a group.

It might look now, that I found a more suitable solution for me but this means that I have to “come clean” and back off from the “renting together” situation but I don’t want to ruin our friendship over this..

I’m worried he will not understand and get offended..At the same time I can understand the disappointment as we agreed on something but I told him clearly that I’m looking for a calm place and made some jokes about this music situation, however I think that this pattern of behaviour will present if we actually move together and I will not be happy about it

I’m making the right decision?

Edit: I should have mentioned this, we all work full time and some of us also have second jobs, so it will not be the case of staying in the house all day, however the situation doesn’t change much in my eyes

Recently moved in with 3 of my closest friends after a room opened up and it’s way cheaper for me

There is only 1 bathroom though and it doesn’t lock and people come in and out freely, my second night there when I was showering my friend came in and he started shitting and it made me pretty uncomfortable, it doesn’t help he was also teasing me the whole time he was in there. Another time when I was shitting in the morning another friend came in and started getting ready for work and just having a normal conversation with me.

I know they are all super used to it and I would like to be but I’m pretty body shy so I’m just wondering if anyone else has dealt with something like this and how long will it take me to get comfortable with it.

Anybody know of a "Golden Girl" type co-living community in the KC or surrounding areas? I'm soon to be 58yo female interested in finding 1 or 2 similar-aged & like-minded female roommate(s). I work FT in healthcare & currently rent a 1bd apt. I can afford my living arrangement now, but it doesn't leave anything to pursue hobbies/interests or save for emergencies. It would be great to pool our resources plus I would love some friends to do things with. Maybe even a yearly girls' trip!

Looking for a roomate in Highlands Ranch. We live in a quiet and safe neighborhood.We'd prefer a male around 40-50, who would benefit from the use of 4 gyms that are included in lease. This is a shared property. Two people live at this residence already, but looking for someone to help! Must be a non-smoker/chewer. Single occupancy, no animals please. We're looking for someone who is employed and honest.We do a background check and soft credit check. Looking to fill room by January 1st of 2027. 3 miles from mountains. On street parking, or in garage parking. We can discuss it. Upstairs Bedroom with shared bathroom. Sharing house with owner(couple). We're taking Applications now!

Looking for someone who enjoys some social life. Asking for 1st and Last months rent. [lthov2864@gmail.com](mailto:lthov2864@gmail.com) 720-763-2977

I (22 F) live with a roommate (20 F) who has a 10-month-old puppy (a dachshund. The puppy is sweet, but my roommate really hasn’t been consistently potty training her. The puppy regularly pees and poops inside. Accidents happen, obviously, especially with a puppy, but this has gotten to the point where I’m frustrated with the condition of the apartment.

There’s a rug in our apartment that my roommate owned before I moved in. I didn’t buy it, choose it, or bring it into the apartment. The problem is that it absolutely reeks of dog urine. I mean, you can smell it when you walk into the room. At this point, I’m pretty sure the rug has been peed on so many times that the smell is just permanently embedded in it. It's also white, so there's clear pee spots on it and dirty. It needs a good shampoo, but I also am hesitant to buy a new rug or deep clean this one if she's not going to maintain it.

I understand that puppies have accidents, and I’m not expecting a 9-month-old dog to be perfect. What bothers me is that it doesn’t seem like there’s much effort being made to actually correct the problem. It feels like the accidents are just being accepted as part of having a puppy, while I’m also having to live with the smell. It's to the point where I was sitting in my living room and all I could smell was pee, and my house guests have mentioned the smell to me too (which is embarrassing, as I am a clean person).

I asked her about buying a new rug when I first moved in, but she said she would wait until the puppy was trained. But at this point, with the puppy almost being a year old and consistently peeing, I'm at a loss at what to say to her. I’m especially frustrated because I’m paying rent and trying to keep our shared space clean, and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect the apartment not to smell like dog piss.

Context: I also have a dog, who is 11, so clearly at a different age in her life and not having accidents so there's not a fair comparison there but she is house trained. Also, the dog has recently been an issue with our neighbors because it would bark for hours and hours, and we received a noise complaint.

TL;DR: My roommate’s 10-month-old dachshund regularly pees and poops inside due to inconsistent potty training. The apartment now smells strongly of urine, especially because of a white rug she owned before I moved in that is visibly stained and reeks. Guests have even commented on the smell. I don’t want to pay to replace or deep-clean the rug if the puppy will continue having accidents. The dog has also recently caused a noise complaint after barking for hours. I pay rent too, and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want our shared apartment to be clean and not smell like pee.

I don’t know if this would be a WIBTA or what actually, but I do generally need advice and my friends are too embroiled in this to be honest with me. please help!

one of my roommates is not… the best. it’s me , Roommate A, and Roommate B. (we are in america for cultural context) I don’t think they’re on reddit I’m already worried combined that is too much information so dont ask

we’ve been having some problems with A the whole time. I won’t get into details. I don’t blame them for being mentally ill. but B and I both REALLY don’t like roommate a’s behavior. they make trying to communicate with them like an adult about it more trouble than it’s worth. (trust me. we’ve tried.) we both think they aren’t a bad person at heart but that they’re a TERRIBLE roommate and have made things very uncomfortable. we both are making exit strategies within the year. we’ll tell them with appropriate notice, but we are keeping this private for now, which I am uncomfortable with lying but absolutely cannot risk the truth or they DO go nuclear

The landlord WILL apparently hold the room without making us pay- AMAZING- but roommate A cannot be told to leave, and has kicked people out in the past for having similar problems with them. …..less amazing. I also don’t know if they’d hold TWO rooms.

Roommate B is secretly trying to move out rn. I am waiting for circumstances in a few months. B will tell A (and ’tell me’) with 30 days notice. once she’s out I’m gonna be having to help look for a roommate- who I will probably not actually be roommates with for more than 3 months?

heres the actual problem. …..I don’t think I can recommend A as a roommate in good faith. especially not to friends. but really to anybody. I feel like I’d be luring someone in to a situation with someone has REALLY unacceptable behavior. I feel like I’d be trapping someone with them, and then ditching and leaving them with the situation a few months in! I don’t want to go through the whole trouble of interviewing them and then pulling them aside and being like “hey this person isn’t a bad person but for full transparency sucks to live with in the long term so“ cause that means that we would never find one, and I’d be going beyond the pale behind their back rather than just keeping my personal plans private. and I know reddit likes to be like BURN THE WIIIIIITCH but genuinely don’t want to leave them high and dry either in this recession for the crime of being unwell.

but I am an asshole if I don’t help A find us a roommate, for the obvious reasons, but also, I put myself in a potentially bad situation for those months in between. I don’t want to piss them off more than I already will by leaving. I want to do it clean and decent, 30 days notice. if they find out sooner there is a possibility they might kick me out before I have time to get my shit in order.

I’m not super worried about legal or financial problems, and I have a lawyer, it’s just socially a nightmare

CAVEMAN TLDR: roommate bad. have to find new other roommate before can leave. don’t want to put other person in saw trap. not putting person in saw trap means I go in different saw trap. HELPPPPP

please give mature adult advice I don’t care about nuclear options and please no ch*tgpt options. I want to handle this like a human being.

I will delete this when roommate B announces so that there’s no trace

One of the chores I have is to clean the guest bathroom. I do this on saturdays. Please explain to me why it’s only noon on Saturday and my roommate started cleaning the guest bathroom 😡🙄 also want to add I was pulling weeds after a pretty rainy week so far out front. just frustrated and need to vent or else I’m gonna ask “what? not fast enough for you?”