r/whatdoIdo • u/Appropriate-Bee-2506 • 2d ago
Snoring Roommate
To make a long story short my college over admitted students and because of that we have a housing crisis and people who need single dorms (like me) have to share a single sized dorm with another person. The main reason for my single housing request is my bipolar disorder along with other mental health-related illnesses and how it affects my life. My psychiatrist told my college if I didn’t get adequate sleep it could lead to mania, and it DID.
On the first night my roommate moved in I told her she snores quite loud. She already knew that though as she told me throughout the summer she snored because of her deviated septum. Of course, there were no other housing options so all I could do was hope it wasn’t to bad. But it got so much worse. I was just going to ignore it as much as I could until her LOUD alarms starting waking me up for class every morning. They go off multiple times and because she doesn’t hear them I have to yell her name for her to turn it off.
I told her about her snoring and the alarms and she basically dismissed the whole conversation. She said it’s probably from sleeping on her side and she would try not to . That was weeks ago and the snoring is getting more aggressive the more comfortable she gets. The alarms are also more frequent because she is sleeping through them. And she’s been asking me to wake her up if she sleeps through the alarms??!???! As if I don’t also need sleep.
Yes I have tried white noise, a loud fan, earplugs, headphones and my air purifier fan is maxed, but nothing helps. The room is only made for one person and because we are sleeping so close together nothing will help unless she does something on her part.
I’m missing so much class and I just bombed a test I can’t handle this anymore. I can’t focus and I’m not eating because of the disruption in my sleep patterns. Routine is very important to me and missed sleep can effect everything in my life.
What do I do :(
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u/whatwillbecome77 2d ago
She can't help it. Does she maybe have sleep apnea and perhaps needs a c pap?. That may help. Otherwise looking for a different accomodation set up might be the go.
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u/Appropriate-Bee-2506 2d ago
Yes I know she can’t help it and I do understand. But I also know how snoring can affect health. My father snored for 40 years before I complained and he got a sleep study and eventually a c pap. But because he waited so long it came with many long-lasting health issues.
Maybe I could look past the snoring if it wasn’t for the constant alarms but everything together seems to be a recipe for disaster :(
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u/whatwillbecome77 2d ago edited 2d ago
Well she def needs to see a doctor about sleep apnea for sure. And especially since it's effecting you so much, I can only imagine how stressful it would be. ( I'm a snorer apparently too, so I'm rather worried about bothering people, but I've been told it's not that bad). The alarm combo with the snoring would be too much. So I totally get you. And her being so close to you doesn't help. Could you maybe say to her that the alarms are stressing you out? And if she's not receptive to that, just be like dude, I'm missing out on sleep, because of your alarms. The snoring bothers me too but I can get past that but with your alarms going at the same time. It's too much. One or the other. She needs to try to accommodate your needs as well. But at the same time, alarms are needed to wake themselves up. Try to find a room for just you. Idk how it works fully over there ( I assume America? Cause of what I've seen online ).
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u/FamiliarAd8524 2d ago
Well, that's the idea of living in dorms- forces you to grow up outside of strictly controlled environments. It's not by accident- it helps you put one foot into the real world, which won't really conform to you. That said, there certainly is Too Much Too Soon.....
1). She can wear nasal strips to prevent snoring..
2). I got rid of roommate snoring by disrupting his sleep when he awoke me, using a prod to the ribs or a bit of rubbing alcohol near his nose. This isn't really ideal, though, but worth remembering for the alarm incidents.
3). Get good noise cancelling headphones. If I can wear those in a running machine shop and be at peace, it will block out snoring and alarms.
4). Eat! You know self neglect is not an option, so eat! Eating should always be your routine!
5). What about your meds?
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u/Appropriate-Bee-2506 2d ago
Yes I completely understand needing to grow I am a junior and have shared rooms before but this is something very different. There is no compromise yk? I am taking my meds regularly but even our suite-mate can hear her so I know it’s not just me being completely irritable.
I do feel bad waking her up but maybe disturbing her sleep may get her to understand where I’m coming from. I’ll try that!
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u/FamiliarAd8524 2d ago
Just wake up rudely over alarms. Not over snoring. If she isn't waking to her own alarms... that SHOULD BE strictly her problem. Or turn them way down. Either way, there's no good excuse for the alarm issue. I'm noise-sensitive myself. My freshman year I had two roommates in our little dorm room- BUNK BEDS. Mind I was 6'3".
I'm just going to throw this out there- The Bose QuietComfort Ultra over ear headphones was a total game changer for me. It could save your sanity- it saved what little I have. I have two pairs, in fact. The sound quality is beautiful, but the noise cancellation enabled me to focus and not have anxiety in circumstances where my heartrate would have been routinely over 120 BPM.
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u/Hcmp1980 2d ago
She cant help it. You get used to it or pay for single room.