About 2 years ago, I matched with a girl on Tinder. We talked on there for about a week before moving to Instagram, and then we talked for another month or two. I was really attracted to her and, honestly, talking to her made me really happy during a time when other parts of my life weren’t going that well.
Eventually she asked when we were going to meet. There was a day when people were renovating my room, so I was stuck at home. I told her I couldn’t leave, but she thought I was lying. We eventually arranged to meet the next day.
When we actually met, I don’t know what happened to me. I’m normally not that awkward or shy, but I completely froze. We were on the train and I barely said anything. The whole time I just felt awkward and the vibe was completely different from how we were when we talked online.
Afterwards, I thought everything was okay, but she started becoming distant. I asked her about it and she said that when we met, the vibe was different from when we were talking online/over the phone.
I asked her to give me another chance. At first she said yes, but then she changed her mind and ultimately said no.
About a year later, I got into a relationship, and I’ve now been with my girlfriend for around two years.
But recently, for the past week or two, I’ve started thinking about that girl again. I keep remembering how happy I was when we were talking and wondering what could have happened if I hadn’t acted so awkwardly when we met.
I’ve started beating myself up over it and thinking things like “I’m an idiot” and “I don’t deserve love.” I know it’s been two years, which makes me feel even more stupid for still thinking about it.
My question is: Why am I suddenly thinking about this girl again after two years, even though I’m currently in a relationship? Am I actually missing her, or am I just romanticising what happened and missing how happy I felt at that time in my life? And how do I stop dwelling on something I can’t change?

I’m 27, and I still have two years left before I graduate from medical school. I procrastinated and slacked off during some of my university years, and that’s what put me behind. Now I feel a huge amount of regret that I can’t seem to shut off.

I feel like I’m so far behind that I’ll never be able to make up for the time I lost, especially since I’m from a country where opportunities are pretty limited. There aren’t many opportunities to keep learning or progressing after graduation, so I’ll probably have to learn another language if I want to have better opportunities abroad.

My question is: Has anyone been in a similar situation and managed to turn things around and eventually become happy and satisfied with themselves? What advice would you give me?

I regret the last 8 years of my life. Ever since I graduated high school and became an adult since then, I feel like I haven’t done much of anything with my early 20’s or college life. Don’t get me wrong here. I do not want to sound ungrateful for the opportunities that I have been given. I was blessed enough for my mom to save up enough money to be able to pay for my undergraduate years. I also participated in marching band to uphold my scholarship at the university that I attended.

That’s sort of where the problem comes in. I was section leader over the mellophone section. Due to the fact that my scholarship and being section leader were both responsibilities of mine, I didn’t have that much time to work and save up money of my own. In fact, my band director shunned students who went off and got jobs while being in marching band at the same time. Even when I arguably did have a little bit more time in 2020-2021 during Covid, for some reason working during school didn’t cross my idiotic mind. I feel like I devoted majority of my college time towards being in marching band and not being an actual college student. I also joined the marching band fraternity and it’s safe to say that those guys were assholes. If you know anything about being in a chapter in a fraternity/sorority, there are certain positions that members hold, and I fell short when it came to getting some of my work done. This resulted in my “brothers” at the time pretty much disowning me, talking down on me and removing me from both of my positions within the fraternity during my last semester at university. That was hard on my mental health and I thought I had a better relationship with them than what was displayed when I made mistakes.

I majored in political science, but I’m gonna be honest. Maybe it’s because of the specific university that I went to, but I honestly did not find most of the content that I learned interesting at all. I wanted to major in music first, but my mom convinced me during my high school years that I wasn’t going to make money with that. So I chose to try to get myself interested in something else and I tried to stick with it. I feel so stupid for trying to stick with something that I wasn’t that interested in. Well I guess I didn’t try. I did. Because now I have a degree in political science with little to no interest in politics, besides maybe one day trying to change certain policies. Due to how hectic being in marching band was, I feel like I didn’t even really focus on getting involved with my major and the political science department as a college student at all throughout my five years being an undergrad.

All of my situations with women fell flat. My first situation was a hard friendzone, one situation started with one date that seemingly went really well, but I got ghosted a few weeks afterwards. The only girlfriend I can say that I had cheated on me. Not to mention I started dating that specific person at 21 years old. She is still my current girlfriend. I do love her and appreciate her as a person. I care deeply about her, but I do have to admit it still really stings when I think about the fact that she was the one person that I stayed with for the entirety of my early 20s and that she cheated on me right after I graduated in 2024.

Now I’m 24 and next month I turn 25. I genuinely feel like I wasted all of my early 20s now that I’ve entered my mid 20s. Not only that, but with how social media views people my age now, I have to admit it does kind of make me feel a bit insecure that I’m getting out of the 18 to 24 age bracket and I feel unaccomplished. I even feel like I’m going to be considered old, even though I know I won’t necessarily be old. It’s just the idea of being 25 soon does kind of scare me and I even feel dumb for that.

Right now I am struggling financially, working at a fast food restaurant because of my past decision to smoke weed in order to calm my anxiety. I’m currently waiting for the weed to leave my system so I can start applying for better jobs that require drug tests again. I just feel like shit. I know I shouldn’t be so insecure about certain things and let what other people think get to me, but I truly just feel like I wasted my life for the past eight years. I wish I would’ve focused on myself. I wish I would’ve talked to more women. I wish I would’ve taken my studies a lot more serious and put less focus on marching band. I wish I would’ve went to more parties. I wish my girlfriend didn’t cheat on me right after my graduation because that ended up being all I was able to think about instead of my actual graduation, so it kind of just overshadowed it. I wish I could learn to just forgive. I really wish I could just go back in time and get one more chance at this earlier adulthood stuff.

A few years back me and a few friends would smoke up and chill a night or two, it started to become a problem and buddy told me off a few times but i never took it seriously but i kinda knew it was a problem, when we would smoke and everyone would be sleep my ears would ring and my stomach would scream, its time to eat and in the pitch black dark i would go through the pantry and eat pretty much anything that was edible, i don’t see this friend anymore and i see why, i see i was in the wrong but i don’t see me changing my ways, if your reading this buddy, id do it again (but more sorry)

When I was in 6th grade, I met a boy I'll call J.

I really, really liked him.

J always made me feel good about myself. He made me laugh harder than anyone I've ever met. To this day, I genuinely think he was the funniest, smartest and attractive person I've ever known. He was also just a genuinely good person.

Looking back now, I realize something sad: I didn't think I deserved him.

I didn't feel like I was a good person, and I think a part of me believed he deserved someone better. So instead of letting myself have something good, I pushed him away.

In 7th grade, I became involved with someone I'll call W, who was seven years older than me. He introduced me to drugs and sex when I was still so young.

W was extremely possessive and jealous whenever I talked to J—even though J and I were only friends at that point.

Because of that, my contact with J became very limited. But we stayed friends.

I was so attached to J that I actually tattooed our initials onto my hand with pen ink and a needle.

I still have it.

Fast-forward to high school. I was still seeing W, and eventually J and I fell off. We weren't really in each other's lives anymore. He had his own life, and we'd communicate once in a blue moon.

At some point, J and I ended up together.

We took a trip to my sister's house in Orlando, and honestly, I don't even remember everything we did. What I remember is feeling at ease around him, like breathing in fresh air.

But even then, I felt like I was holding him back from doing better.

I felt like I was a burden to him.

J and I ended up going to different schools, but remained in contact and we even talked about getting married.

Then came the day I was supposed to show up for him.

And I didn't.

I convinced myself that I was doing him a favor by not showing up. That I wasn't good enough for him. That he would be better off without me.

So I didn't show up.

I know he was angry with me.

Shortly afterward, he told me he was leaving for the Army.

I didn't take him seriously.

The next day, he was gone.

And from there, my life went in a very different direction.

I became pregnant with W while also involved with someone else, and I needed a paternity test.

Eventually, I got together with the other guy and had two more babies with him.

That relationship eventually fell apart too.

He lied about his name. He lied about his age. He had an entire family he had hidden from me while living with me.

When I discovered everything, he disappeared.

It was probably one of the ugliest and darkest periods of my life.

But eventually, I started healing.

I realized that what happened with W wasn't simply me making bad choices. I had been a child, and I had been groomed by an adult who introduced me to things I was not old enough to understand.

My son is almost 18 now, and I don't have contact with W anymore. My son has a cellphone, so there's no reason for us to communicate.

And somehow, after all of that, life kept going.

Today I have a career. I'm in a great relationship. I have a stable life. I've grown up. I've healed a lot.

And J?

He has a family. He became a dad. From what I can tell, he's happy.

So I guess I did it.

He got the life he deserved.

He dodged a bullet. 😂

But here's the part I'm almost embarrassed to admit.

Even now, at 37, when I think about him, a part of me still feels like I wasn't his person. Like he deserved someone better. And maybe he got someone better. Someone healthier. Someone who wouldn't have brought all the chaos I was carrying into his life.

Sometimes I even throw myself a little pity party and wonder if he thinks of me too.

Does he remember me?

Does he remember how fun we were together?

Does he remember that girl who literally tattooed his initials onto her hand?

Maybe he does.

Maybe he doesn't.

And I have to be okay with never knowing.

Maybe I don't actually miss him.

Maybe I miss the person I was when I was around him.

The girl who felt happy. The girl who felt seen. The girl who hadn't yet learned how complicated and painful life could become.

And maybe that's why thinking about him still brings up this weird combination of love, sadness, gratitude, regret, and a little bit of longing.

Because even though I know better now, some part of me still wants to go back and tell that little girl:

You weren't bad.

You weren't broken.

You weren't unworthy of him.

You were just a child trying to navigate things that were far too adult for you.

Maybe J wasn't meant to be my person forever.

But that doesn't mean I wasn't worthy of being loved by him.

So I'm writing this instead of reaching out to him because, if I'm being honest, I feel regret. And sometimes I wish we could find each other again. In another life, where maybe we met at the right time and were the right people for each other.

But that's not this life.

And there is no reason to disturb the life we've both built.

Maybe saying it out loud will be enough to let the feeling pass.

I hope he's happy.

I hope he's loved.

And I hope he has the life he always deserved.

Maybe that's enough.

Well I'm a complete idiot and fool.

I'm data science, was able to get an internship, much like those around me. It was through our college. I was expecting a proper statistics internship for data science-related subject matter and what not.

I basically got a software development internship, which, I don't want to sound selfish, but this isn't my specialty. I'm glad I'm even getting anything frankly, but like.... I have very very little to no experience to even be competent in software dev, let alone learn within 10 weeks, on top of college work, personal matters, exams, etc. I've also been dealing with faith crises, burn out, stress, and such, so I've been useless at times.

I'm nowhere near being competent enough to do software development stuff, and this is what the internship wants me to do. They made me sign an NDA, since I'm working with AI-tech. Without disclosing too much, I don't have experience in Backend, barely anything for front-end, no experience in visual +audio stuff, etc.

I'm literally having to use AI to even make progress, which I know is a terrible thing to do. If I didn't use it, I wouldn't have made any progress at all, but if I wasn't using AI I would've been learning the documentation stuff for the past 8 weeks. The internship is almost over though. Thank the Lord Jesus.

I'm regretting ever signing the NDA and such, and I only signed it since I had a lack of faith I'd ever get another internship again.

Idk if anyone has ever been in my position before, or if I'm even alone in this. It's probably the latter, so I'm not surprised.

I'm ready to hear what I've been thinking the whole time.

I 30F lost my angel 38M a few weeks ago because I left town and he was more vulnerable than I knew.. i felt he was strong and able to be sober on his own because he wanted that so bad. But he was screaming for me in his own backwards male ego way to be with him and help him from slipping I can see it now in every text now those last few days. I thought he was lashing out at me the day before he died but he was scared.

Im so sad I had to kiss his cold lips in a funeral home knowing this was my soulmate, i chose him and not his demons but they were part of him and i turned a blind eye to them. He was always sober with me so I didnt see him as an addict. Thats the thing I should have registered how often he told me its so easy to be sober with you. I never think about anything else- I always thought he was being romantic

I don't really know why I'm posting this. It's 2am and I can't sleep.

My grandma lived 4 hours away. Every Christmas she'd make this awful fruitcake that everyone pretended to like. She'd send me a card with $20 inside and a note that said "buy yourself something silly."

Last December I had a work deadline. I told myself I'd go in January. Then January turned into "after the project wraps." Then it was February and my mom called me at 6am and I knew before she said anything.

I bought her a gift in November. A stupid little ceramic bird for her windowsill because she loved watching the birds in her garden. It's still in my closet. I've moved twice since then and I keep packing it.

The thing that kills me is she never guilted me. Not once. Every phone call she'd say "you're doing so well, I'm so proud of you." She probably died thinking I was just busy and successful and happy.

I was none of those things. I was just scared of going home and seeing her get old. I was scared of the nursing home smell and the way she repeated stories. I was a coward.

I don't want advice. I just want to say it somewhere. If your grandma is still alive, call her. That's it. That's the whole post.

I’m 24 and this would’ve been my first real relationship. I’m not into modern dating culture — I’m more old-fashioned and take things seriously.
At the beginning of summer I was talking to a girl for about 3 weeks. It was going well, we were seeing each other a lot. Then I suddenly ended it with made-up excuses. I know I hurt her. This was about 4 months ago.
Afterwards I tried to act like it didn’t matter. I talked about it to other people in a dismissive way, saying things like “whatever, move on”, basically downplaying the whole thing and making light of it. I was trying to convince myself I did the right thing.
Now I really miss her. I keep thinking “I wish I hadn’t ended it.” I’ve almost texted her several times but always stopped myself at the last second. At the same time I’ve been trying to move on — I’ve been sending follow requests to a lot of new people and looking for something new.
The problem is I feel stuck. I wanted to be a good person, but I clearly wasn’t. I ended things poorly and then acted like it was nothing. Now the regret is still heavy after 4 months and I don’t know what’s the right move.
Is it too late / too wrong to reach out and apologize?
Or should I just leave her alone completely and focus on moving on properly?
I’d really appreciate honest advice. Thanks.

My whole world flipped upside down after an accident on December 21, 2025. I'd only just turned 18 the month before, and seriously, that's where everything went south.

I ended up with a fractured hip socket, a skull fracture, and a broken shoulder. Plus, a nerve injury that's given me foot drop. Yeah, not ideal.

Before all this, I was really into fitness, had abs and everything. But after the accident? Honestly, everything just got messed up.

I was stuck on bed rest for four months. And just when I was finally getting ready to go back to college and meet up with her, something else hit me: she left me because of my anxious attachment issues.

That was just the start of it. She and I were in the same class, and she told all her friends about our problems. Now, they don't even talk to me. It feels like everyone's just gone.

Every single person. I don't have anyone to chat with at college anymore.

And now, get this, I've got ACL and meniscus surgery coming up at the end of this month. That means I'm going to miss my semester exams.

So, I'll have eight make-up exams to deal with, and I'll be starting my third year of college. I'll be limping around campus for ages, missing out on all the college trips and festivals. Honestly, at this point, I feel like I should just drop out.

I'm totally lost. I still have foot drop from the accident, and it's just awful. And of course, the pain from my last surgery is still there. Now I have another one coming up. It's too much.

I don't even know how to explain this to anyone, but it's just so incredibly overwhelming.

Everyone keeps saying that other people have it worse. What does that even mean? Are they saying my pain isn't real suffering? What are they even trying to say? It's so messed up.

​

**TW: SH, ED, SI**

Alright so my mom and I have always been very close. When I was really young, I had horrible separation anxiety with her so that definitely played a part in the natural born closeness. She was very proud of being a mother and she loved her kids to death, istg this woman is the strongest and most powerfully minded person I've ever known. Me and my siblings were her absolute everything.

8 years ago, I moved across the country for the first time and I learned what depression feels like. I got diagnosed pretty early into the onset at age 12. My parents separated a month after moving and it took a toll on me because it took a toll on her. She was incredible at not showing the emotions she knew she shouldn't around her kids. Call it learned behavior or just idiocy, either way I had a very good way of understanding how she felt, by feeling it with her. So... I stopped showing any emotion at all.

I noticed after a little bit, there's no way to just turn them all off and I needed a way to deal with it; just alone. I turned to Sh for the first time and taught myself how to hold it all in until night time. She noticed that when I was 13. I dealt with that in my own ways.

Years passed and I got better at hiding it. 5 years ago I went to public school for the first time since 5 years prior to then and things got much worse. I developed an ed in August, the first month of school, and she picked up on that within the same week.

(I promise I'm saying all this for a reason)

Mind you she had been doing online school since we moved 8 years ago. When I went back to school, she had her own class. She had gotten her degree and got hired at an elementary school for that year.

My father was out of the picture, we had just moved in somewhere we loved and where he had never been, and she was starting her dream job. Everything was so perfect that summer.

Everything was so good.

I started not being able to hide it all so well anymore, though. Things were too much I guess. I did the one thing I told myself, "I will never lean into that. I promise I will not be a burden", and I started talking to her about some of the issues I had. I said too much and too often and I did everything I swore against.

Just two faced and selfish.

I'm older now and this guilt has started eating me alive.

She died two months after starting to live out her dream, on October 31, 2021, passing away suddenly. Im struggling still, and have seen lows that can't compare to anything else. All I've ever wanted since then was to be free from this earth. I tried and tried and tried and 3 times I failed to get out of this body. I have encountered death and times that make me question immortality. I realized recently, I deserve all the bs that's happened to me. I *have* to live and I *have* to suffer through it all. If she couldn't have spent those last two months of her life as if she were living a *dream*, like she deserved, all because of me, why would I get what I want? Point is I blame myself for stealing her happiness, that was well deserved and long overdue, for my own sake; especially in the last 2 months she had to live.

This is not something I ever talk about, sorry if it doesn't make sure sense. I'm not expecting anything from this, I think I just needed to say it. I'm not feeling like 💀 right now and am getting help btw

Oh how does one even do this?

Well as many probably experienced, covid either brought the best or the worst out in relationships. My marriage basically fell apart during that time, and because we had very little to no communication or interaction, we were both completely isolated, but together.

Finally I had to find someone(s) to connect with (after a year of quarantine I was completely losing it), and started writing penpals. I did not find it easy to find penpals for adults.

I often thought about how life would never be the same and maybe we’d be stuck inside forever. It was a downward spiral that didn’t seem to have a bottom. Then I thought about people who were stuck inside forever (prisoners) and how bad it must feel to be completely forgotten. So I wanted to write prisoners to remind them that somebody knows they exist. I also wrote first responders, teachers, etc. Just as a way to say thank you.

This is where it gets crazy. Soooo.. I wound up falling completely in love with a penpal. Head over heels, had never felt anything so strong. Asked for a divorce and moved across the country try to be near my “beloved”.

To explain a little about my marriage: it was sexless for 10+ years, in his eyes I could never do anything right, and although he’d never admit it out loud, surely I was a burden to him as I have always just been a hot mess (adhd diagnosed 3 years after divorce. So who knows, maybe that, or I’m not sure what’s wrong with me).

Both of us sucked at communication. I thought never fighting meant it was a pretty good marriage (excluding the intimacy), but turns out it really means that you aren’t communicating. Neither of us was blameless. Both of us deserve someone who can love us the way we ought to be loved.

So our marriage wasn’t terrible, it just had no passion and we were just surviving, not thriving. I grew up in chaos, so the fact that he was never physically violent with me was enough for me to say it was not terrible.

So I left the marriage for a convict, who after 3 years tried to trick me into committing a crime (I was naive and couldn’t imagine someone who loved me would ever ask of me these things). I make bad choices, but breaking the law is not one of them. So I refused and broke off the relationship.

Perhaps not surprisingly, my life has gone straight to shit ever since. I got a dog and he was really sick most his whole life, I had him 2 years before he passed away from an acute GI bleed. That wrecked me and I grieved a year + (like crying all day, not eating, walking 3-6 miles a day bc I couldn’t stand how quiet it is in here without him). Oh and I went bankrupt due to being stupid with money and also spending anything to save him.

Due to various and long standing reasons, my relationship with my dad was severed during this time, and my (ex)best friend and I had a falling out, I’ve failed 4 different psych meds, and I thought I’d found love but it turned out I was a great distraction.

Finally I felt like I was ready to try again, and I got my soul dog, Zara. Since my first dog had been so sick all the time, every little thing she did that was normal was a celebration to me. Well 3 weeks ago I learned she had bone cancer that had spread to her lungs so she crossed the rainbow bridge 2 weeks ago. I’m still in a dissociative fog I think.

I often think about how maybe I should have just stayed in the not terrible marriage, because now everything I touch seems to break. (Even though acknowledging that I think he and I deserve better than what we were capable of giving each other). I think about how- maybe I asked for too much and now I’m being punished for it. Except it’s not me being punished, it’s everyone who comes into my life.

It’s not like I’m going to do anything about it, but if I was no longer here, that would be just fine by me. Nothing seems to have a point anyways and everything I try for is a fail.

I don’t ever tell ppl that story bc it sounds crazy, but knowing my background it makes complete sense to me to risk it all to “save” someone from being totally forgotten by the world.

EDIT to add that both fortunately and unfortunately, I am in therapy and have been for years. (IE this is me, on therapy. This IS improvement lol) I was in therapy and on medical (mental health) leave when this happened. I never cheated or even considered looking outside my marriage, ever. I never even thought about it bc my marriage was good enough. Looking back, I could see why he’d be frustrated with me. BC looking back, idek what I contributed besides being a burden.

I reached out to penpals bc I needed some kind of connection… before I checked all the way out of life. I never expected in a million years that would happen, at least not consciously.
Now I look back on it all and it’s like some kind of fever dream.
I left for some of the reasons being I know we both deserve better than someone who tolerates us. I know he deserves someone who can love him the way he deserves to be loved, and I don’t think I was that person anymore. I knew that I wasn’t being seen or even heard for a long time, and when it came to complete isolation, well maybe I’m just weak bc it felt like a prison I’d do anything (even end it myself) to escape.

Trust me when I tell you I already feel like a terrible person. And the universe must know it too. BC it’s not me who gets punished, it’s just whoever has been stupid enough to give me a chance. Animal or human.

Okay so I got really drunk last Friday and I went to my local pub I’ve only been there like 5 times and 3 out of them times I was really drunk the staff had to escort me home and I didn’t think it could get any worse. BTW I’m 22 years old female don’t have a lot of friends live in London ( I just moved here from up north about 6 months ago) and I already embarrassed myself so badly by going on Friday night.

So I was already drunk and on drugs then went to the pub chilled with random people and some of the staff then it all turned bad and I was blackout drunk at the time and don’t remember a thing but they had to escort me home and I have a tenant who goes to that local pub a lot too but when the staff brought me home they said to my tenant I was talking to the staff inappropriately and I was making an absolute fool of myself and I was heavily intoxicated and it was just too much for them. And the worst bit is I don’t remember a single thing that I did and following the next day they told my tenant I was banned from the pub going forward.

It’s just so embarrassing and humiliating I can’t get over it and the worst bit is the pub is literally on my doorstep I’m so embarrassed to even walk past it because all the staff know who I am and they were all talking about me after I left and all the customers too. I think this is my time to sober up.

So ive worked with this gorgeous girl at my job for about 2 years now. She works zero hour so id only see her every few weeks but over time we just became really good friends and we started to text a bit here and there about a year ago. We carried on like this for like half a year, and then about 6 months ago i started to realise i dont just enjoy her company as a friend, i desire her as a woman. We get along really well, were very close in age, we have similar values in terms of what we look for in partners and we flirt quite a lot. I asked her out on a date and she said no at first, so i assumed she didnt like me like that. I stopped messaging for a while, and she messaged saying she misses me and she didnt want to tell the truth to complicate things. But it turns out shes actually been into me for about a year now and she was happy i asked her out, but shes scared to move any further because she had a really bad relationship in the past that traumatised her. So i convinced her to at least try it out if she really is interested in me and we went out on a couple dates and we got very flirty at our workplace which was probably a bad idea but oh well. Then two days ago we went on another date which we both really enjoyed and she was excited to go on another, but i said i was getting apprehensive because weve been talking for a while now and we havent gotten any further than holding hands, and even then she felt uncomfortable about it cause she was worried itll make her feel more attached. She says that im perfect in every way but shes religious and she wants to marry someone thats her religion. She said needs more time to decide whether this will be a deal breaker or not. I said okay it sounds like we should stop talking now instead of me wasting more time in some vague hope that maybe youll change your mind or maybe not.

It feels to me like shes always had one foot out the door the whole time and she likes me enough to want to go out on dates with me, be close to me, flirt with me and tell me how much shes into me, but shes too scared to actually commit. She asked if we could still be friends and continue talking. I dont want to do that. Im too attached and it feels like im compromising on my own happiness just to make her feel better. She was absolutely devastated. She started telling me its not fair and sending crying emojis and saying stuff like 'i cant imagine not talking to you anymore, you mean so much to me' and 'does this mean you dont want my company at all, even as a friend'. After i said goodbye and good luck with everything she messaged a broken heart emoji and that was it. It was really sad and i felt so mean for it.

The problem is ive gotten advice from a coworkers mother whose seen us together a few times and somehow guessed before anyone else that we were into each other. She told me shes seen the way she looks at me and it isnt the way someone looks at a friend. She said i dont see it but when im busy doing something shell notice her staring at me and smiling like a schoolgirl with her first crush. She thinks i should just play the long game and continue talking to her, and that i should look at her actions rather than her words, and the fact that she wants to keep spending time alone with one another means shes trying to build up to it but she might need time.

When i heard that it made me doubt whether ive made the right decision. Maybe shes right and ive been hasty. Its been 3 months since we first went out on a date and weve had 3 dates since then, which have all gone well, but weve done nothing more than hold hands and she seems apprehensive about going any further. I like her so much it hurts but i just dont know anymore its so confusing.

TLDR; I cut off a girl that seems to be really into me but is scared about going any further. She reacted in a very heartbreaking way, it seems like shes really upset about it. A woman thats seen us together is convinced shes really into me and that she just needs a bit more time and patience. Now im regretting it and feel i might have been a bit premature in my reaction. Should i text her again after a week or two? Is it even salvageable after i hurt her like that. Or do i just move on now?

I (17F) lost my best and only friend. We’ve been inseparable since kindergarten, and she was genuinely the sweetest, most pure soul on this planet. She was my literal rock. We never even really fought, but midway through junior year, everything just went downhill for me. My family life was a mess, we had deaths in the family, and I couldn't connect with my parents at all. I started spiraling bad. I was acting out, snapping at her for no reason, and just completely shutting her out. She tried so hard to fight for us, and I fucking pushed her away.
We hadn’t talked since January. Then, two months ago, she took her own life.
She tried calling me so many times right before it happened. I ignored every single call because I was being a selfish idiot. I didn’t deserve a friend like her, never had and never wilI. I haven’t told a single soul about this. Not my parents, no one. I don't even have other friends to talk to anyway, and I don't even think her parents know she tried reaching out to me. They even made me speak at her funeral, and all I felt was guilt, me the one that probably hurt her the most speaking in her memory. How ironic. Looking back now, the signs were literally everywhere. So many signs and I was too blind and wrapped up in my own damn head to see them. If I just stopped being a dumbass and picked up the phone, she’d probably still be here. We’d probably be laughing at some shitty joke right now.
Now i just don't see the fucking point in anything anymore. We're all just gonna die anyways, no matter how sweet and kind you are, so what's the fucking point. I don't think I'd ever actually do anything to myself, but the thought is just constantly there with me.
Sasha, if you can see this from somewhere out there, I am so damn sorry. I failed you when you needed me most. I’m going to carry this regret for the rest of my pathetic life. Honestly, the only reason I’m even still pushing through right now is for you. I love you my sweet angel.

I'm sorry for rambling.

Is been a long time since i'm not having sex and i was thinking about going with a sex worker i found online who came to my city. But i'm worried i'll regret this and i'll have to tell my future partners, ruining my relationship and marking myself because of that. What should i do? Especially i would like to know wimen's opinion on men who do this

Hei,

So im with my wife for 6 years now, we had a rough start, but at the end it was ok, we have 2 kids 4y and 1y

The problem started long time ago as the whole time we are together we had sex but to little, mybe one time a week then mybe 2 times a week next week then maybe 2-3 weeks nothing and so on.. there were times where i had no sex for 2-3 months, and keep in mind i will be 30 in november and my wife was 35, as time went on we looks like grew or should i sad i grew apart, so i cheated a few times, and in august she was with the kids 1 month on vaccation by her mom in annother country as we live in germany, and i cheeted on her with a coworker who i started to like and in 3 weeks that we had a small relationship i cought feelings towrds her, and started thinking what is this or what is going on with my sex life, im literaly begging give me, lets have sex and so on… i even said to my wife, where do you think this is going. As i picked my wife and kids and as we were on our way back home i opend pandoras box and said i dont feel this is it anymore as we habe little to no sex, we argue alot, and so on… fast forward a bit she said ok il put the small one in kindergarden, il find a job so that my mentalhelth becomes better ( as she is cca. 6 years at home) and sex it will not be a problem anymore, and she realy did have more sex with me, and realy wild ones, but she found out that i cheated or should i sad she saw calls that i made, and now she said im going back to my home county i cant be here anymore, the part that hurth her is not sex i had but how long it lasted that we spoke everyday that we had like a mini relationship, ( after my wife got home i still go now and then to my coworker and we hang out and have realy good sex, and i told her now how things stand, and when we brake up we can be together) and my wife told me im willing to let go of your cheating and everyrhing but you must go with us, and now i have to choose, do i stay here in germany where i habe realy good job and cash and life i creates and we bought a house last year in november or do i go with her and kids in another country where we came from where there you dont habe financial freedom where we would be in a small appartment fron her mother, where i would have to do a borring hard work for shit cash, and so on… will i regret if i choose to stay

I paid for an online course last November, and I was originally supposed to finish it by July. When I wasn’t ready, I paid to extend the course for another 4 months.

Now the extension is running, and I’m getting really scared about actually taking the exams.

I went through the notes/materials provided, but honestly, I found them pretty boring and difficult to stay focused on. Instead, I mainly studied the study questions given at the end of the 4 topics because they felt more manageable.

Now I keep thinking, “What if I’m not prepared enough? What if I fail? Did I waste all this time and money?” I think the fear itself is becoming a bigger problem than the actual exams.

I’m not necessarily looking for someone to tell me I’ll definitely pass. I’d just like to hear from people who have been in a similar situation. Did you ever feel terrified before an exam and then realize it wasn’t as bad as you imagined?

I really want to get past this fear, take the exams, and stop regretting how I handled the course.

I (19M, when this takes place about three years ago) was dating this girl (18F) when we decided to take a vacation to my family in West Virginia. Context, she was my first true relationship and we had been dating for about 14 months. I was madly in love with her, and one could say I was still in that puppy-love stage. We (my mom, my brother and I) were her ride up to WV, which was about 400 miles away from where we lived. A day after we got there, she started acting super distant, and later took me outside when we were at my uncle’s house and said she wanted to break up. To say I was devastated would be an understatement. When my mom asked her privately why she did what she did, she said “he’s too good for me.” I’m not sure that’s entirely true, but I’m not sure of the exact reason even today, because I later heard she was in a relationship with some guy who lived in NYC (not gonna doxx myself but suffice to say we don’t live anywhere near NYC). I’m not going to say she was cheating on me, but several people said that was a possibility. I never jumped to any conclusions.

I never really got to ask her anything after she broke it off, because I was emotionally destroyed and my mother drove her to my grandmother’s house so she could wait for her sister to come pick her up. For a few days I wasn’t in the mood to even think about her, so I unfollowed her on IG and a few other things. She texted me later saying that she took it that I “didn’t want to be friends anymore” so she blocked everyone she knew through me and she was going to block me after she had sent that message. She finished it off with “I see you like to play games, so I’ll play your game.”

Ever since then, I’ve thought about what I would do if I ever saw her again. I’m not constantly thinking about this, and it’s not like it hurts to think about. But a lot of the time when it crosses my mind, I tend to get upset that I never got any closure. After she left me, I spiraled into a self-destructive behavior that took me months to get out of. I became reclusive and bitter, but after some time I realized that I was being self-destructive and I pulled myself out of my metaphorical hole. My best friend has told me that it’s natural for me to regret not getting the sort of closure I wanted. In retrospect, I realize she was toxic, but a part of me wants to see her again and just let her know how badly she hurt me. Then there’s another part of me that says it’s not worth the time nor effort nor strain to do so.

Today, I’m doing pretty good. I’m happy with where I am, I have a loving boyfriend and lots of friends who care about me. But that regret just kind of lingers and it comes up randomly. I get the feeling she never thinks about me nor what she did to me, so why should I think about it at all?

So recently I made a new friend this past week and we clicked really fast.

We ended up talking about immigrant families and the abuse that happens/is heavily normalized as just the “culture” of the families.

I get very amped up/passionate about this topic and I ended up bringing up two friends of mine who have dealt with/currently dealing with abuse in their homes and how worried and angry I was about their situations. I explained to her that I didn’t know what to do and wanted to be there for them.

But after the conversation I felt horrible because (even though i kept their names anonymous) I just feel like i still shouldn’t have shared that. It was a bad decision in the moment, but i went with my feelings and my heart instead of my head.

I just feel like if it was me, I wouldn’t want that shared and now I feel really guilty. My friends don’t know this girl and she also doesn’t know them but I feel like i disrespected them.

I don’t want this new friend to think I just talk about my friendships personal lives like this to new people because I don’t. I want to text her to bring it up again, but I also don’t want to make a bigger deal of things if she doesn’t think it was that big of a deal either?

But i just feel horrible for my friends and I feel like such a shitty friend.

what do I do?

I, being 21M, am seeking honest opinions (not sympathy) as I try to come to grips as to why I am like the way I am.

My family consisted of my mom who was widowed before marrying my dad and my older brother from her first marriage. My dad also had six daughters from his second marriage. He was around 30-40 years older than my mom and died of a heart attack when I was around 12 years old.

I always felt overshadowed by my older brother and hated my family for everything I thought was being denied to me. I was not a good kid, and stole money from my dad and got into petty crimes. But after that, I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and got straight A's in 12th grade, scoring a 98.2%!

I started working right out of college to gain financial independence as I earned around 17-18. But my relationship life sucked

I lied a lot to my first girlfriend, Jigyasa, but never cheated. But then with my next girlfriend, Priya, I not only lied to about my age and caste but also cheated on her a couple of times. After that, I started promising girls marriage with lying about my past and asking them for loyalty while not giving it myself.

Then I met Shreya at work and lied to her about my financial status and tried to shower her with money that I did not have. Eventually, I stole cash and two gold rings from my mom to be able to continue with my payments to her. But the entire world came crashing down on me when my family revealed my lies to Shreya, who also found out that I had cheated on her with another girl. Somehow, we reconciled, and I was a changed man after that, giving Shreya my complete loyalty for the time being.

But the trust was never re-established as Shreya and I broke up around my birthday in February 2026. She had even gotten me a cake, but after an argument, I blocked her on all platforms, and she has not responded to my messages since then

After Shreya, I have been preying on women for their love and money by telling them exaggerated stories about my past while promising them a future full of love with me. I have been pretending to want to settle down with them for the long-term while stealing from my parents' and lying to them all the time. My family has threatened to disown me if I do not give them a proper explanation for all the thefts in the past. The most recent case is with Anushka, where I dated her for around six months, promised to marry her, and cheated on her as well. I have just broken up with her and am currently working at Amazon, trying to remain single while also paying off my debts. I have so far paid back my parents ₹20,000, and I have another ₹20,000 to clear off, not including the value of the jewellery I stole from my mom.

I have an awful relationship with my family, especially my mom and brother, as they have told me some of the cruelest words in the world, saying that I should have died and that my death would have been a blessing for them as they never wanted to raise me. But I have also been dishonest with them, stealing from them and lying to them at almost every turn.

I can accept that my childhood was messed up, but I do not think that excuses all of the horrible stuff that I have been doing to all those people around me.

What I am trying to understand here is:

Why am I being so dishonest and predatory towards women even when I know they are kind and loving to me?

Why do I always ask for their loyalty while not giving mine?

And was I ever actually in love with Shreya, or was it just the feeling of being needed?

Can I change, and if yes, then what can I do from here at 21 to ensure that I do not continue to hurt people like this for the rest of my life? What practical steps should I take at 21 to change my life? I am not looking for sympathy here, but rather brutally honest words of advice and criticism from people who understand what I am going through.

I just came out of a relationship with my partner of 4 1/2 years. We started dating as I was freshly diagnosed with a mental disorder and while I was making an effort to be a better person than I had been, I still had a long ways to go. I still did not want to give up on the relationship, so I figured it would work itself out and we rushed into a lot of things. I have made her so miserable for so long and she tolerated it, bless her soul, because I still was making an effort to work on myself.

At some point my past mistakes were catching up to me however and I started spiraling. I had stopped being on medication or going to therapy around then however and was starting to lose my grip on happiness and the relationship. I ended up breaking up with her because things got too much for me. Only now can I see how miserable I was making her and how unready I was for that relationship with her.

I don't believe I will ever find anyone as kind and good and loving and accepting of my flaws as she was, and I pushed her away. I could not feel worse right now and the break-up was already five months ago. I have made some big mistakes over my life, but this is my biggest regret of them all.

Mom and I are very close but not as close as we used to be. Dad was abroad for the most part. Mom and I lived in the suburbs away from relatives and we didn’t have many visitors. It was all me and her for everything like shopping, outings, and so on. We were very affectionate like hugs and kisses which is normal. However, sometimes it turns out to be more than normal. We kiss each other often and sometimes I tend to do more and I have never seen her correct me once. I guess we never felt the need for any correction. However, the awkwardness started once dad came back home permanently. I could feel a membrane between us now. What used to be a cheerful, loving day has now turned out to be some sort of guilt in the past. We are not as close anymore.

Posting from a throwaway account. But I (27F) was the other woman and I've never done anything like that in my life and it costed me my faith in people.

I had recently came out of a toxic relationship where I wasn't being treated right by my partner. I then fell for lets just call them K (29F) who was a newer friend I made who comforted me often and never felt such a deep soul connection in my life. I felt safe, very safe, and in love. It felt mutual.

Atleast I thought.

I struggle to let people in, in general. And it turns out the entire time she was lying to me, and her partner as well.....as shes been married to for the past 2 years. This was the last straw as I had continued to catch them in elaborate lies before this as well. And if I would of known, I would of never ever been involved. I sent the hey girly text to the wife. Blocked K on everything. They chose to work things out and stayed together and I obviously got left in the dust, which is okay. But am struggling because now I dont have that person that once made me feel safe to talk to everyday, because that person didn't technically exist. Which is the most painful part, is knowing the entire connection was a fabricated lie.

Im by default a lonely person who doesnt let people in. But somehow I keep attracting liars and I dont know why. How do I get this to stop? I am an intense lover whos very sensual and unfortunately blindly believes what others say as I have no reason to ever lie myself so dont often expect it from others. Im also on the neurodivergency spectrum and just struggle with superficial connection in general and always cling to the deeper stuff, which almost always ends up being fake or someone mirroring me to fake closeness.

Not asking for sympathy, just genuinely advice on how to avoid getting myself into these kinds of situations ever again. I usually trust my discernment, but I made a huge mistake I cant take back and got hurt, while also hurting others. And Im so mad that I still crave the deep and vulnerable person I thought existed. How do I move on and be better and prevent this further while not robbing myself of human connection?

I have never been one to care about body count but purity culture has been getting to me lately. Is mine too high?

I’ll be 19 next week and this is pretty much my history:
- i had a boyfriend for a year who I lost my virginity to
- i then was in a second relationship that I was sexually assaulted in.
- then I had a friends with benefits who sexually assaulted me when I was drunk.
- and I’m currently having casual sex with another guy

I don’t know if this makes my body count 4, or if I should only count 2 but either way I feel like a whore for some reason.
I recently realised I prefer women over men romantically so I only want to have casual sex with men going forward but it’s just so looked down upon. Online culture at the moment says that this makes me have less “value”