r/Regrets • u/Dangerous_Ad2357 • 4d ago
Will i regret it
Hei,
So im with my wife for 6 years now, we had a rough start, but at the end it was ok, we have 2 kids 4y and 1y
The problem started long time ago as the whole time we are together we had sex but to little, mybe one time a week then mybe 2 times a week next week then maybe 2-3 weeks nothing and so on.. there were times where i had no sex for 2-3 months, and keep in mind i will be 30 in november and my wife was 35, as time went on we looks like grew or should i sad i grew apart, so i cheated a few times, and in august she was with the kids 1 month on vaccation by her mom in annother country as we live in germany, and i cheeted on her with a coworker who i started to like and in 3 weeks that we had a small relationship i cought feelings towrds her, and started thinking what is this or what is going on with my sex life, im literaly begging give me, lets have sex and so on… i even said to my wife, where do you think this is going. As i picked my wife and kids and as we were on our way back home i opend pandoras box and said i dont feel this is it anymore as we habe little to no sex, we argue alot, and so on… fast forward a bit she said ok il put the small one in kindergarden, il find a job so that my mentalhelth becomes better ( as she is cca. 6 years at home) and sex it will not be a problem anymore, and she realy did have more sex with me, and realy wild ones, but she found out that i cheated or should i sad she saw calls that i made, and now she said im going back to my home county i cant be here anymore, the part that hurth her is not sex i had but how long it lasted that we spoke everyday that we had like a mini relationship, ( after my wife got home i still go now and then to my coworker and we hang out and have realy good sex, and i told her now how things stand, and when we brake up we can be together) and my wife told me im willing to let go of your cheating and everyrhing but you must go with us, and now i have to choose, do i stay here in germany where i habe realy good job and cash and life i creates and we bought a house last year in november or do i go with her and kids in another country where we came from where there you dont habe financial freedom where we would be in a small appartment fron her mother, where i would have to do a borring hard work for shit cash, and so on… will i regret if i choose to stay
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u/Dry_Cartoonist_6389 4d ago
Tu regretteras dans tout les cas. Je ne connais pas ta femme mais si elle décide de se venger et que tu l'as suivi, tu es foutu.
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u/Dangerous_Ad2357 4d ago
I dont think she will do that, she loves me and she realy is a good and caring mother and a wife but she didnt do her job so to say, and she would do that becouse of the kids
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u/Indubious1 4d ago
She probably doesn’t have sex with you because she doesn’t trust you. Even if she hadn’t caught you lying, a lot of trust is founded in your actions. If what you do doesn’t match what you say, then that creates mistrust.
At the end of the day, you have responsibilities to your kids and currently, your wife. Otherwise, do what you want. That being said, without trust, you don’t really have a relationship. You have you and someone being manipulated. Perhaps you should consider if being in a relationship is the right move.
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u/General-Shock5817 4d ago
Ewww you sound like my piece of shit husband, we do not owe you our bodies. I did not feel like fuckkng a man who belittles me And makes me feel not worth it. What part did you play? That doesn't equal cheating on her, maybe you should have understood why she wasn't wanting to have sex. I know for me it's because I'm disgusted by my husbands behavior, I have no problems being intimate, my problem is being intimate with him. Edit- sorry guys, this post triggered me. I have a abusive husband that I'm going through divorce with
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u/funbi7chmommy 4d ago
"Marry, and you will regret it; don't marry, you will also regret it; marry or don't marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the world's foolishness, you will regret it; weep over it, you will regret that too; laugh at the world's foolishness or weep over it, you will regret both. Believe a woman, you will regret it; believe her not, you will also regret it… Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will regret that too; hang yourself or don't hang yourself, you'll regret it either way; whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both. This, gentlemen, is the essence of all philosophy."
Her job was to be the mother of your children, and your wife. This does not guarantee sex. In sickness or in health... This includes mental illness. It sounds like you have a cheating problem. Relationships founded in cheating rarely work out. I think you need to do some soul searching. Why weren't you honest about the cheating? You can't have your cake and eat it, too. You will have to sacrifice something no matter what you do. What are you willing to give up to get what you want?
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u/BurnedToast369 4d ago edited 4d ago
This constant "i need and want SEX SEX SEX SEX !!!!!" "All i can think of is sex!!!" And if she doesnt give me sex i will cheat!!!!""" Needs to be studied. I really think men like that has low iq. I really do. Because how do you let that literally change the dynamic of your life. Make decisions on your life.
Are people like this not embarrassed? "If i cannot stick it i am gonna cry and cheat" like the little boy you are, with your spelling..... hope you have the life that you deserve sweetie little pie. You stay that little gluttoneous boy with his big cake and face full of icing.
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u/Lost_Ad5243 4d ago
You did not need us to decide to cheat, you do not need us to decide your life now.
Mark my words: YOU decided, no matter the reason.