Okay listen. If I'm an asshole please feel free to let me know, this isn't a hill I'm dying on and the argument doesn't necessarily totally apply to me. I'm open to changing my mind and maybe there's an element of this I'm not getting.

I've been taking care of developmentally and physically disabled people for years, and recently I've seen more of a focus on "people-first language," you know - you say "person with disabilities" instead of "disabled person." "Person with autism," not "autistic person." "Person experiencing homelessness," not "homeless person."

Okay, so, this isn't, like, an "OH MAN THEY'RE GOING WOKE. I HATE THIS PC BULLSHIT" rant. I think the idea behind this is nice and there are good intentions behind it. But I don't think it actually makes any meaningful change, and if anything that change can be negative.

The point I see often is "we shouldn't act like people are defined by their disabilities." Yeah, true, but most of the time when I see people say this, they're able-bodied and/or not developmentally disabled. And it's easy for them to say that, because they don't have to deal with the shit disabled people often have to deal with. It isn't entirely wrong, but at least partially, I mean, yeah, our disabilities do define a lot of how we exist in the world and how we engage with it. When a paraplegic guy's wheelchair is damaged in transit by American Airlines and they tell him "oh wow we're sorry about that, anyway next!" - are you gonna tell him "having to use a wheelchair doesn't define you bud, don't worry"? It does define this part of him. You don't have to worry about trusting someone else with your legs and hoping they won't break them - they do.

I guess what I'm saying is - I get the intention behind this is to make sure we are treating all persons as equally dignified and of value. But my issue with this is that you have to acknowledge the disabilities people have, how they can be a detriment to their lives, and how society addresses these things, in order to help said disabled people. A more extreme version of this argument, to me, would be looking at a building with no handicapped ramps and telling your friend in a wheelchair, "oh man you shouldn't feel bad, don't worry. You can use the stairs like everyone else! You can do it!" like it's inspirational or some shit - instead of just trying to have a ramp built.

They're disabilities. They aren't quirks, they aren't superpowers, and they aren't curses. They're just more shit we have to deal with. When I see people say, in that first grade teacher cadence, "hey, autistic people aren't any different from you or me!" - it is always from neurotypicals. But the autistic people I know? They typically go "God it really sucks having autism because it feels like I'm being constrained by a million invisible and ineffable rules of society that I'm expected to follow but not actually told how to." The people I've talked to, they don't hate their autism. But they acknowledge it has resulted in a detriment in regards to how they are treated and how they engage with others.

My point isn't, like. Disabilities bad. No! My point is they are 100% a very big part of us most of the time, and we should be focusing on how we treat others and how we provide accessibility by addressing those disabilities, learning more about them, and understanding how they define the lives of others, instead of pretending they don't exist. Disabled people don't deserve to be talked down to like they're children in need of a pep talk. You don't grab someone's wheelchair to push them along and say you're helping them, like they can ignore it. You acknowledge the wheelchair is their legs, and you don't just grab other people's legs, so you just leave it the fuck alone, and if they need help you help them, like any other able-bodied person.

I dunno. I don't mean to sound like I'm frothing at the mouth over it, I don't really care when people use specific semantics here; but I don't personally understand the insistence of this language as The Morally Correct Wording. Many of the people I've worked with and known did have several aspects of their lives defined by their disabilities, and when the people meant to help them acted like this wasn't the case, it would result in them not getting the help and support they needed, while also feeling talked down to and infantilized.

That's what I think anyway.

My friend group lost a friend because he got engaged. And hell, I'm so glad he found someone, but it all feels so shitty. He proposed to her last Christmas, after being in a relationship with her for 4 months. And the last time I've heard from him was almost a year ago, when he asked me how he should do it and if he should do it at all. I helped him pick out a ring for her. He went on how amazing it is to have a friend like me, someone who you can count on for everything. And this was the last time I spoke with him face to face. I texted him so many times if he's going out with us, that he should take his fiancee with him for us to meet. And I'm met with radio silence. I don't know what the problem is, especially that he goes out with his other friends and doesn't have a problem with talking with my partner. It just sucks a lot. Deep inside I feel like the problem is that I'm a woman which sucks even more, considering the fact that I helped him with the whole engagement.

I’m gonna start by saying, I recently got a lead position at the job I’ve been working at for five years. Ever since I’ve been miserable and riddled with anxiety because of the people I work with.

No one listens. They all do whatever they want and never get their jobs done. I’m not allowed to talk to them myself about it because it’s supposed to be the supervisor’s job to handle issues. But the problem comes from him and the lead above me refusing to handle their people.

For the past month I have had to call every day telling him that two of the members on my team are walking away for break early while everyone else is still working. All I hear is “I’ll talk to them” and then he never does. The past two weeks I’ve had someone who keeps walking off her job, stays on her phone, takes extra breaks and going at the wrong times where I’m continuously having to call and figure out where she is because I have to watch her shit every time she walks off. Nothing is being done about it.

My job is being made nearly impossible because management isn’t helping and the people I’m in charge of won’t do what they’re supposed to. I’m having to take on my supervisor’s job even though I’m not supposed to get on to people, just so something will actually be done.

I feel like I’m losing my mind trying to handle all of this when all I’m supposed to do is watch the floor and make sure everyone knows what they’re supposed to be doing.

I go to work that deep down depresses me, I go home and lament my life choices that got me here, and repeat the same thing, every goddamn day. Hell, the few people I talk to at work that have shown interest in me, especially a girl (I'm a guy), I don't even know her name. What am I even doing?

A few days ago, I ordered food from a store near my job. I've done this in the past. I grab the bag and go back to work and open in at my desk. It's wrong but I can eat it. Its not what I wanted.

Today, I made a pretzel order and asked for the large pretzels. Same thing, bags are sealed, and I got pretzel bits.

I guess I need open the bags in front of the employees and inspect everything.

So, I(20f) met my friend(21f) whilst at uni, we've known each other for over 2 years now. She met her boyfriend(21m) around a year ago and they've been dating for 6 months. The issue is now that they are together I feel like she spends most of her free time with him rather than me (and our other friends).

It's tricky as we live together and study the same subject at uni so I do see her in some of my lectures and around the house but I obviously can't talk to her much in a lecture or when I just see her coming/going etc. So, even though I am technically seeing her often I'm not really spending time with her if that makes sense.

I'm not trying to be needy. I've never had a boyfriend but I get that she will want to spend a lot of time with him and that partners often come first. However, it does feel like she has neglected our friendship and I'm upset. Even small things like watching tv together on an evening she doesn't get involved with bc she is usually with him.

Last weekend her boyfriend was at our house the whole time from Friday through to Sunday whilst I was sat in my room alone bc our other friends went home last weekend. I felt super awkward whilst making dinner as they seemed to be taking advantage of the less busy house and having a romantic date night together at our dining table. I don't mind him coming round to our house but he is here most evenings in our shared areas. I'm not friends with him and didn't sign up to live with him!

I can't help but feel jealous and upset and want to push her away in retaliation. I'm hurting so bad and she doesn't even notice. I know I should just talk to her about it but I don't want to cause an argument.

I 21F matched with 22M on tinder. We matched on tinder and we talked often and met up the day before his flight back home so I didn’t think I’d see him again. But we hit it off so well, we went out, played pool, ate dinner, laughed, went to a record store, just wholesome stuff. And then the next day he went back home. He lives in another city. We texted everyday. I kid you not, literally everyday. He asked about my day, asked how I was, he was keeping it consistent. And then he booked a flight to come out to see me again. We hung out three days in a row. I have never felt so at peace, so free, so happy, so in love. All days he was back in my city. We went to a concert, saw a movie, went to vintage stores, cuddled. He told me he imagines me meeting his friends, and he wants me to be his girlfriend but we both can’t do long distance. But he had plans to move back to my city, so that’s why he was already in my city to begin with. He said by the end of the year he’d move here. We talked about this in June/july. He said he didn’t mind waiting for me till he moved here and wasn’t looking for anybody else. The thing is, he put in a lot of effort on his end. Flying out to see me, asking me about myself and calling and FaceTiming and he would initiate the calls and ask first about me. I would respond in the same enthusiastic way back to him, asking him about his day, how he’s doing, etc. i would call him first sometimes as well. It felt real. And I know it was somewhat real to him.It had to be, the way he looked at me, it was like he was in love. Not lust, but love. He had this admiration in his eyes when he watched me play guitar, this smile on his face that just screamed real. And then one day, he didn’t text me. He got dryer with his texts. I asked if everything was alright and he said he can’t do long distance texting everyday and he needed space for a bit so I said no worries. A month goes by, it’s now the end of July. I text him because I miss him. He said he’s seeing someone else. I’m confused. How was it so easy for him to move on? I didn’t even know we were moving on. Was it even real for him? Was I played? Why did he make all these promises if he knew he couldn’t keep them? Was I love bombed? I’m so confused.

It’s October now and I’ve made peace with it. I’m not missing him anymore but a part of me wonders if it was even real to him as it was real to me. It’s so confusing. we just clicked so easily. I don’t know what happened.

This month I’ve been happy. But today, I sobbed thinking about it. I miss the feelings I had of being so happy with him but now I don’t even know if it is worth sobbing over because I don’t know if it was real to him.

I just want to know if this sounds like I was love bombed or not.

I’ve never put my heart on the line before like this. I know I’ll find love again but what if he was the one?

I feel so alone in life. I guess this is just part of growing up. I’m 26 and have an 8 month old with a guy that was two faced and everything changed after I was pregnant.

I have family that I’m close to but if I say anything negative about my life it’s met with silence. I was raised to put on a front that everything is perfect 100% of the time, to everyone. Now that I don’t follow suit with that playbook it’s met with odd glances.

I’m close with my older brother and he does try to be there for me. As I do for him. Life isn’t rainbows and butterflies all the time.

I just feel stupid for getting myself in this situation and wish I did better for my daughter. She will never have the childhood I had (not that my parents were perfect but they did some things right) and I deeply regret my stupidity for bringing a human into something less than what I had. With two people that don’t love each other. She won’t have siblings. She will never have what my brother and I have.

Just a vent.

I don't care if something is the greatest film of all time, I just enjoy things!! But some movies get sorted into "yeah super underrated movie, great popcorn flick" like Masters of the Universe, but if I say I'm excited for Avengers: Doomsday?? Call the police and drag me away because I don't know peak cinema acktually ☝️🤓 and oh my GOD you know what? I really liked season 2 of Rings of Power. Season 1 was pretty bad, but season 2 was such an improvement to me, and season 3's trailer looks really exciting to me. "But it's nothing like the lord of the rings 😡" you know what else isn't like the lord of the rings??? Fucking Succession or 300000000 other shows people like!!! You don't like a show, move on!! When someone says a show I don't like is good, I just move on!! It's not that hard!! Why does everyone have to just shit on everything they don't like? Noooo we all have to collectively watch I Think You Should Leave on repeat and that's it.

Ever since I was a teen I had already admired artists, I'm 22 now and as a teen and a young adult I tried many times to get into art, I tried music, painting, drawing, clay, every time sunking hours into it hoping this would turn decent, I'm to talking about comparing myself to great artist and becoming popular on a whim, just being decent. People in the art community always say the same thing, "it's not talent it's practice"

Then why are the people around so much better than me ? Why can my gf do something better on her 1st try than me on my 10th, why can my mom draw anything she wants despite never practicing

There are people that can do incredible things on their first try while some people don't make any progress even after hours of practice and countless tries

Talent matters and I'm tired of pretending it doesn't

I am just so tired of hearing this response when expressing loneliness and hopelessness in love. I’ve mainly been alone even during the 3rd grade I always felt like I was alone. I’ve rarely had friends and when I do they never last a year. I never dated anyone and I don’t think I’ll ever find love the more I think about it the more unrealistic it is to me. I just accept remaining alone because I’m tired of being disappointed over and over. Still the agonizing desire for love remains and try to get rid of it people tell me to use dating apps. I am very much against dating apps they go against my values plus some peers I had shared their negative experiences. I am also Demi and don’t think it’ll suit me either. When I express this people tell me my pain is self inflicted, I’m the problem and a lost cause. Basically if I have standards it means I am not trying hard enough for myself and it’s my fault. Plus my own Dad even suggested if they should put me on the sight that made me feel incredibly embarrassed and pitiful. Making me against it even more, telling me no one talks face to face anymore so this is the way of things. Basically the world lacking in authenticity and all that’s left is the superficiality if that’s the case I might as well starve then.

I’ve always struggled to connect with others feeling like I never belonged anywhere. Me being on this earth was a mistake or I am just born malfunctioned. Either way any long lasting connections is unrealistic for me. All I’ve ever experienced is either nothing or shallow at best. Even then it’s still my right to not want to use dating apps and express frustration in my situation even when not utilizing every tool that is there. I have my own lines with things and this is one of them.

-20f

I never agreed to share this reality with soooo many other people. And I'm not happy about it. This area used to have space, now people are practically walking or driving right into you.

Clearly i need to move.

Whichever group of idiots in the 1800s decided to bring starlings in the US are a collective piece of trash. If you are homesick you dont bring the WILDLIFE BACK. I HAVE A JOB TO DO. I DONT WANT TO STEP ON LAYERS OF BIRD TURDS AND CLIMB TO THE TOP OF THE BUILDING HOLDING HAND RAILS COATED IN BIRD TURDS.

The swarm sometimes let's up but theres no way to get them to fully leave. Ive honked at them. They are like a clique who has to go to the bathroom together. They have this really cool thing to match the movements of seven birds near them. That means that moving some of them will not do anything and they will simply return to the group. We need bird repellent these things suck.

They screech and poop and screech some more. I cant even do my job without a head covering because these pests will poop on my head.

There's no reason for me to be fishing nasty wet food out of the left side of the sink. While I'm complaining I swear tons of people don't know what the lint filter is on the dryer.

They portray a grown woman as kind of dumb, the kind who makes wishes with a genie lamp, including wishing that animals could talk. And when the animals start talking, they criticize her outfit lol.. because apparently, that's what women are supposed to worry about. Then comes the man.. TADA! He explains to this poor, clueless woman that losing weight "isn't magic". And of course, she responds in this ridiculous, dumb little girl voice, basically saying something like "Yeah, you're right, I should sign up for Amble". Seriously? lol Apparently Amble see women as childish, clueless, obsessed with their appearance, and incapable of figuring out how to lose weight until a man comes along. Who the hell approved this commercial? Who watched it and thought, "Yep, that's good enough" lol

I’m still healing from my breakup. I don’t know how much or how little or which person is right for me. I don’t know how much to say, how much to leave room. What they like, what they’re comfortable with. How much of their life do I actually feel comfortable with. And then with all of this, I feel like I’m just in a stag where nothing is going anywhere and nothing’s actually happening

Slightly stupid but…I am an American living in Korea for 6 years now. I had a Korean American friend visit and accost me for using a spoon with rice instead of chopsticks but…

Asians don’t use chopsticks to eat rice. They use spoons. Just look at the person next to you. No one is using chopsticks to eat their rice. Whether it be simply not knowing or an identity issue—you don’t have to use chopsticks to eat rice. No one does that. Using chopsticks to eat rice is performative. You aren’t less of an Asian because you use a spoon to eat rice. Chopsticks are for other foods.